Chapter 73: The Manliest Way
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 73: The Manliest Way
“Just once, try it on. Pretty please? It’s a big day. Come on, Yu-jin-ie, Yu-jin-ie~”
“Hey, no matter how much you spam that nasal aegyo attack, I’m not—!”
“Pretty please? Yu-jin-ie. Do it for me. Please show some mercy to your one and only friend’s desperate heart. Hmm?”
Ugh, this little vixen. She’s always calling me a kumiho, but she’s the real one.
When someone with the visuals of an idol center asks with that subtle, nasal whine, it feels like my ears are melting.
I’ve always been weak to cute things.
“Come on. Just try on this outfit, made with the love and devotion of your one and only stylist. How about it?”
“...Fine, I’ll at least look at it.”
“Hehehe, thank you!”
This cute animal rubbing her cheek against my shoulder is seriously bad for my heart.
Steeling myself, I took a look at the clothes Jang Ji-hye had prepared.
Wait, this is a bit much.
“Jang Ji-hye, a sleeveless dress is a denial of my very existence. You know I absolutely never wear skirts.”
Even back at the Arts High School’s regular concert, I was the one who wore the male uniform while vigorously pounding the timpani.
How could I possibly wear such a feminine dress?
And the length—why is it so short? My underwear would be on full display.
Ugh, just imagining myself in that is hideous.
“Then how about this?”
“The skirt’s a bit longer and the color changed, but otherwise, there’s no difference.”
“Then this?”
“The only change is that it has short sleeves instead of being sleeveless!”
“This one?”
“See-through is a heresy! It’s demonic! It looks best on others, but on me, it’s the worst!”
“Phew, then this?”
“Look, why don’t you just wear all of these? You’d look really pretty in them. I’d be happy just watching you.”
Jang Ji-hye clutched her chest as if she were suffocating from frustration.
I felt the same way. Actually, I had it worse.
“Jang Ji-hye. You know I barely tolerate wearing unisex styles, let alone 'women’s' clothes.”
“I know, I know. Of course I know. It’s the Peter Pan trapped inside you rejecting them.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“It’s just... I feel so bad. You’re already a world-tilting beauty, but you could be transcendently, mythically gorgeous. You wore skirts just fine during the filming of Hwan’s Torch.”
“That was work. And honestly, Yeon Si-ho’s skirt felt more like a cloak wrapped around the waist than an actual skirt.”
“Fine. I’ll put these away and look for something else.”
“Good. Wise choice. Don’t bother returning those; just keep them for yourself.”
Can’t you just give up now?
Jang Ji-hye and I only have a two or three-centimeter height difference. She could easily wear them.
Besides, those were bought at the Hermès store using my Ambassador card.
“I bought them for you, so why would I wear them? I’ll just keep them safe in the closet. Who knows? You might change your mind one day.”
“The Peter Pan inside me doesn’t change. That’s what it means to be Peter Pan. The boy who never grows up.”
“Yeah, well, I believe that boys eventually grow up and girls eventually become women.”
“Give up. I might live this life as a female character, but I’m not living it as a woman.”
Jang Ji-hye thinks my loathing of women’s clothes is just a phase—a sort of trauma-induced puberty from being bombarded with "confession attacks" from men.
She understands the "Peter Pan tenant" living inside me in that context.
I can’t exactly tell her that I’ve lived as a man for hundreds of years in total, and even if I did, she’d never believe me.
Loose-fitting cotton trousers.
A slightly baggy cotton T-shirt.
That’s my preferred style.
If I wear clothes that cling to my body like that... ugh. The stares become even more burdensome.
My God had finally reached the finals.
The team he was facing in the finals was a rising powerhouse from Europe.
Ah, those guys have incredible momentum lately. This is going to be a huge burden for God.
While I was worried, I was also excited for a final that actually felt like a final.
I truly hoped my God would win in a thrilling—no, an overwhelmingly undefeated—victory.
There were only a few days left.
*
I witnessed the terrifying competence of the UFC Chairman.
By pulling in Ssireum, Jiu-jitsu, and boxing organizations, he had turned this into a luxury event match the likes of which the century had never seen.
[Title: Is this bigger than the Super Bowl now?]
- Isn’t this basically at the level of a World Cup final?;; I’m starting to get scared of how big this is getting;;;
└ Neither producer can stop now. They say tens of trillions of won are being wagered in the global gambling market right now.
└ Whoever backs out will probably get shot that instant.
└ Before they get shot, their heart would probably jump out of their body from the sheer embarrassment lololol
└└ LOLOLOL
The two producers would face off in the following order: Ssireum, Jiu-jitsu, boxing, and finally, MMA.
During the breaks, there would be boxing and UFC event matches featuring top global rankers.
To top it off, right before the final MMA match between the two producers, a WBC Heavyweight Title defense match was scheduled.
Wow, things really blew up.
Sponsors were flocking in, and the broadcasting rights were sold for an astronomical price.
I’m so glad I decided to donate all the royalties from the VIP ticket auction to a pediatric cancer charity...
Thanks to that, I was able to preemptively block any image of "Lee Yu-jin being blinded by money."
[Title: Baby Elf is beautiful on the outside, but her heart is just as beautiful ㅠㅠㅠㅠ]
Everything was fine, except for getting caught off guard by these kinds of "attacks." By the way, this post smells suspiciously like Writer Jung Yoon-ah.
“Noona! The poster for the producer event match is out!”
“Oh, it looks good.”
The thick-haired Netscreen CEO and the contrasting, shiny-headed Chris Hertiland.
The split-screen composition of them glaring fiercely at each other was very impressive.
“Look at those eyes. So sharp. Someone might actually think they’re pro fighters.”
“Yu-jin-yu-jin, it’s a battle between the jungle and the desert. My heart is swelling.”
“Jang Ji-hye, are you seriously making fun of Producer Chris Hertiland’s skinhead? The man who just handed me 13 billion won, 15 billion won, and then some in appearance fees?”
“I didn’t say it; everyone on the internet is calling him that.”
The event match was set for next January.
The venue was the Jamsil Olympic Stadium. A place capable of holding 69,000 people.
Well, considering the WBC Heavyweight Title match is billed as a championship bout on the undercard...
Since the WBC Heavyweight Title match wasn't even the main event but a special feature, the Jamsil Olympic Stadium was the only venue with the right "weight class."
The two producers began to provoke each other in earnest through interviews.
[Chris: I will show the power of the skinhead. Michael will regret not shaving his head before coming here.]
[Michael Hastings: (Taking off his wig) You’re not the only skinhead.]
Cough! Cough!
Me, Jang Ji-hye, and even my brother were startled.
“What? The Netscreen CEO was a skinhead? Why is this real?”
“Wow, I had no idea.”
I stood up and applauded.
“To reveal a lifelong secret to the whole world just to win a war of nerves? This man is the real deal.”
“Chris looks flustered. I think the Netscreen CEO won the first round of provocations by decision.”
“Ji-hye noona, that looks more like a sense of kinship with a fellow species than being flustered.”
“Tsk tsk, that’s exactly what the Netscreen CEO was aiming for. The surprise attack landed perfectly.”
In any case, Chris lost the first round of trash talk by decision.
[Chris: “I have never once trimmed the hair around the sides. Because I am a 100% pure skinhead. However, Michael clearly shows signs of having shaved his sides.”]
“Chris... that’s a bit pathetic.”
“It is kind of sad to see him struggling like that.”
D-day is next January. I’m already looking forward to it.
*
[Title: Do you think Lee Yu might show up at Gocheok Dome?]
(Video of Lee Yu-jin watching a LoL match on her phone during a break on set.mp4)
(Video of Lee Yu-jin watching a LoL match on her phone while getting out of a Cullinan.mp4)
(Video of Lee Yu-jin watching a LoL match... anyway.mp4)
Lee Yu-jin didn't know because she didn't browse internet communities, but the majority of LoL fans were also fans of hers.
Everyone hoped for Lee Yu-jin’s appearance at Gocheok Dome, but they knew it was realistically difficult.
*
It’s tomorrow. Finally.
I’m nervous, so nervous.
I’m finally heading out to see God’s holy face with my own eyes.
How would God react if he knew that Rocktten Jupiter Bell, the #1 Challenger of Challengers in solo rank, was me?
He’d probably be calm. As he always is. Because that’s what God is like.
I couldn't sit still. The excitement wouldn't die down.
Should I try to get an autograph?
No, if I get too close to the sun, I’ll get burned.
Let’s just watch from afar. Let’s just cheer.
And then let’s turn back without lingering.
“Lee Yu-jin. I’ve prepared the final outfit.”
Jang Ji-hye’s voice was low and serious.
Not Yu-jin-yu-jin, not Yu-jin-ie, but Lee Yu-jin. She’s very serious.
I thought she’d given up, but here she was on the eve of the finals, bringing women’s clothes again.
Still, it was the best out of everything I’d seen so far.
Slim-fit skinny jeans and a purple blouse. It was a combination that created a modest and calm image.
Of course, I wasn't going to wear it.
“Ji-hye-ji-hye, you know. The Peter Pan inside me won't wear anything that isn't unisex...”
“Tell me, Rocktten Jupiter Bell trapped inside. What is God to you?”
I was slightly taken aback by the sudden, random question, but I answered seriously.
“The reason I fell in love with LoL. The reason I play LoL. And one day... the reason I will quit LoL. That’s why he is my God.”
“This is the first time in this life you’re going to meet your God. So why, as a believer, are you not dressing up?”
“...What?”
“You’re going to see God. Shouldn't you dress up as much as possible? Even a new employee would check their face one last time before seeing the Chairman. They’d check if their clothes were wrinkled.”
I was a bit shocked.
Jang Ji-hye continued indifferently.
“It’s the first time you’re seeing God; shouldn't you put on the best dress code you can manage? Wouldn't that give God more strength to play a better match after receiving your devotion?”
“D-damn it. I hate myself for being swayed by such a logical argument.”
“I’ll let the dress slide. But at least try the skinny jeans and the blouse. 'God, look here! I’m Rocktten Jupiter Bell! I’m your most devoted follower! Please look at me!' That’s why you’re going, isn't it? Are you really not going to do your best with the dress code?”
“B-but how can I wear such 'girly' clothes? The Peter Pan inside me feels a sense of rejection.”
Jang Ji-hye suddenly stood up and grabbed my shoulders. Her eyes weren't looking at my face; they were looking at my chest.
With a desperate gaze, as if she were peering through to the Peter Pan inside me.
“You there! Little Peter Pan trapped inside the Elf, are you listening? Can you hear my voice in there?”
“I hear you, I hear you.”
“Are you afraid of women’s clothes?”
“I just hate cross-dressing.”
Jang Ji-hye was still glaring at my chest.
“Peter Pan, did you know? Cross-dressing is actually the manliest thing a person can do.”
“...What?”
It was a shock that felt like an electric current running through my scalp.
Jang Ji-hye was still staring intently at my chest, as if searching for the Panokseon rower hidden within.
“Because women can’t do it. A real woman like me can’t 'cross-dress' as a woman. Only a man can! I heard that in Ireland, men used to love wearing skirts!”
“Ji-hye noona, that’s probably Scotland, not Ireland.”
Jang Ji-hye, who would usually have snapped back, didn't even look at my brother. I could feel how completely immersed she was.
“My little Peter Pan, why don't you give the manliest cheer possible in front of the God you follow tomorrow?”
“The manliest...”
“Only a man can do it. That’s why it’s cross-dressing, Rocktten Jupiter Bell.”
“...”
“Or think of it as going to work as the actress Lee Yu-jin. Either way, it’s your first time appearing before such a large crowd in a while, isn't it? Show them your professional side, Lee Yu-jin.”
I shifted my gaze slightly to the side.
Long jeans and a long-sleeved blouse.
Hmm... if it’s just that much, would it be okay?
At least it’s not a skirt.
“Jang Ji-hye, do you really think cross-dressing is the manliest thing to do?”
“Because I can’t do it. The fact that you can do it and I can’t is proof that it’s the manliest thing, isn't it?”
“I see. Then I shall take on the challenge like a man.”
“Oh my, how cool. So manly.”
Jang Ji-hye finally looked at my face, gave a bright smile, and pulled me into a tight hug.
“That’s my Lee Yu-jin! The Elf with the soul of Peter Pan! My manliest friend!”
I felt pretty good.
*
While hugging Lee Yu-jin, Jang Ji-hye’s eyes welled up with tears she didn't let show.
I did it... I succeeded...
The year-end awards ceremony was approaching.
As the stylist friend of the most beautiful actress in the world, Jang Ji-hye felt an immense burden.
A heavy sense of duty that tightened around her shoulders like a vice—the mission to set up the actress Lee Yu-jin in her most beautiful and glamorous form for the year-end awards.
We’re starting with skinny jeans. Even a Challenger starts from Bronze, Silver, and Gold.
Of course, this was a misunderstanding on the part of Jang Ji-hye, who knew nothing about LoL.