Chapter 48: Lunch Boxes Packed with Love
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 48: Lunch Boxes Packed with Love
Even after leaving the department store, I spent the rest of the day wandering around with Jang Ji-hye.
“Yujin, Yujin, be honest. You’re testing how well this ‘foreign elf’ cosplay works, aren’t you?”
“Damn, I love having a quick-witted friend. But I’m getting sick of the ‘elf’ thing, so maybe I should drop the act soon?”
“Sick of it? It’s fresh and thrilling every time! Elf, elf, elf, elf…”
“Aaaagh!”
“My friend is an elf. A timpani-playing elf. A meat-loving elf.”
My mental state was utterly shredded by her relentless psychological warfare. I eventually slumped onto a bench to recover.
“Yujin, seriously though, you spent a lot of money today. Are you really okay with this?”
“I told you, it’s cheaper than the profits I made from the Envidium I bought with my appearance fee.”
“You’ve suddenly developed the mindset of a chaebol.”
“What are you talking about? I only splurged like this because it’s you. I’d never buy luxury goods for myself or anyone else.”
The most expensive thing I owned that I’d actually bought with my own money was a pair of Nike sneakers in the 200,000 won range. I kept them enshrined at home and only wore them on special occasions.
“I’m so touched…”
“So, from next time, let’s just stick to a regular salary, okay? I’m going to go bankrupt at this rate.”
“I told you, you don’t have to pay me. What kind of friends exchange money for favors?”
“From what I’ve seen, that’s how everyone in the entertainment industry lives. Managers, CEOs, actors…”
“Then they aren’t true friends. Once money issues crop up, everything falls apart.”
I felt bad about having her do all my grunt work for free, so I kept trying to persuade her.
“Fine. Then promise me that when I direct my debut drama, you’ll star in it for a reasonable fee.”
“You’re going to be a drama director? Like your dad?”
“No, no. My role model is Writer Jung Yoon-ah. I want to be a screenwriter someday.”
“I feel like I’m getting too good a deal if we just call it even with that.”
“It’s a huge reward for me. Will you do it?”
“Sure, why not? If that’s really enough for you.”
“Yep, yep!”
“But no romance plots.”
“Don’t worry. I have no desire to write a cringey scene where you’re swooning over some slimy squid of a man.”
Having recharged our energy, we resumed our trek. Perhaps because Actress Lee Yu-ran was no longer there to act as a shield, I was hit with a non-stop barrage of pick-up attempts. It happened even with Jang Ji-hye right beside me. Sometimes, groups of guys would even try to hit on us as a pair.
“Linguam Koreanam bene scio; sed, quaeso, Latine me interroga.”
(I know Korean well, but please, ask me in Latin.)
“Ah… Excuse me, sorry, sorry.”
Everyone was swept away by my Latin counter-attack. If you can’t communicate, there’s not much you can do. Some "black-haired foreigners" tried to work their magic in English, but even they couldn’t understand a word of Latin.
To think I’d only find a use for the rewards of my hellish life as an Inquisitor’s servant in this lifetime. I used to feel so bitter, wondering where on earth I’d ever use Classical Latin.
The reason that Inquisitor had forced me to learn it wasn’t anything special. It was just his fanatic mindset that a servant of his "must naturally know the language of God."
Well, his end was quite solemn in its own way.
He was one of the few connections from my past lives that I thought of occasionally. Not that I particularly missed him, though.
“Yujin, the foreign cosplay is a massive success. People actually believe you’re a foreigner and back off. It’s so cool.”
“That’s the terror of a language barrier. There’s a reason God knocked down the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It was a Michelangelo-esque method of governance to divide humanity through language…”
“The Leaning Tower of Pisa? Don’t you mean the Tower of Babel?”
“Why don’t we focus on the context instead of obsessing over details?”
“And I’m pretty sure the ‘dividing’ thing was Marx, not Michelangelo…”
“Marx, Da Vinci, what does it matter?”
“True, true. What matters is that we confirmed the foreigner cosplay works.”
There were plenty of people who recognized me despite the smoky makeup, but when I responded to their requests for autographs in Latin, they backed off, thinking, ‘Ah, I guess she’s not the one.’
「Yujin, you have an aura that makes people see exactly what they want to believe. As an actor, that’s a truly incredible talent.」
Remembering PD Jang Hyun-soo’s words, I playfully nudged Jang Ji-hye’s elbow.
“Jang Ji-hye, I’m actually a little jealous of you sometimes.”
“Suddenly?”
Jang Ji-hye wanted to sleep over at my place again today, so I agreed.
“Why do you keep wanting to sleep in our humble 850-square-foot apartment when you have such a nice house?”
“What’s the point of a nice house? I’m always alone. My mom and dad are both so busy with work they barely ever come home.”
“A poor, abandoned lamb. Should I give you a room when I move to Hannam-dong?”
“Really? For real? I’d love that!”
“In exchange, make your parents buy the furniture.”
“Of course!”
*
[Title: Dropping a story about seeing the actress Lee Yu]
└ I saw her too, I was spellbound. Her elf energy is no joke.
└ Now I understand why Kim Ho-jin’s career went down the drain;; Not defending him;; But her beauty is seriously enchanting and legendary;;
└ (OP) Honestly, I thought Kim Ho-jin was a total piece of shit, but after seeing her in person, I’ve adjusted my rating to just ‘piece of shit.’ She’s a beauty worth throwing your life away for.
└ I saw her at the department store too, and she was speaking French? Italian? I was shocked. She sounded like a native. Her pronunciation was so elegant.
└└ LOL, it was hilarious seeing people approach her thinking she was Lee Yu, then apologizing and backing off because they thought she was a foreigner.
└ (OP) But seriously, between the smoky makeup and the foreign languages, people really didn’t know. Honestly, I was 50/50 at first too.
Lee Yu-jin’s foreigner act worked on most, but not everyone. There’s no such thing as 100% in this world.
└ She’s still a baby elf. She probably just wants to hang out with her friend. When she’s doing the foreigner cosplay, let’s not bother her and just watch from afar.
└└ A baby elf who’s 5’8”.
└ But seriously, even with smoky makeup and French, how can you not recognize that elf energy? I’m asking because I genuinely don’t get it.
└└ Facts. Honestly, I feel like I’d recognize Lee Yu instantly even if she was wrapped in a parka.
└ That’s just how Muggles are.
└ But there isn’t a single proof shot, do you guys really believe this?
*
I was going to take a taxi, but my mom said she was nearby with my brother and would pick me up. I felt a bit awkward as I climbed into the Carnival.
“I thought you’d already gone home, so I was going to take a taxi.”
“You can’t just take taxis anymore. It’s dangerous.”
“Exactly. Sis, you need to realize you’re an S-grade actress with a 700-million-won appearance fee now.”
I felt guilty thinking about my mom waiting for me for hours, but…
“Don’t worry about it, Sis. I took Mom shopping.”
“Yeah, I had fun with Yu-seok before coming to get you, so don’t worry.”
“Yu-seok, where did you get the money?”
“I got my back pay from you, didn’t I?”
“It felt good shopping with my son’s money.”
To think he’d take Mom shopping with his meager earnings. I felt a strange sense of pride seeing that my brother had finally grown up a bit.
After getting home, showering, and eating, I logged back into the Rift. Jang Ji-hye watched me more intently than usual.
“Yujin, Yujin, I looked into LoL, and the international finals are at the end of the year, right?”
“Ah, Worlds. The big event that all 8 billion summoners in the world watch.”
“If you’re the world star Lee Yu-jin, the one Netscreen is bowing to and LVMH is courting, shouldn’t you be the one singing the theme song for the finals? I think that’s only right.”
“Me, singing the finals theme? Wow, just thinking about it makes my heart race.”
“Come to think of it, how’s your singing?”
“My score at the coin karaoke has never dropped below 98. Honestly, I’m kind of a beast at singing.”
“So you’re bad at it.”
“No, I’m seriously good!”
“But you always say the opposite when evaluating your own face.”
Since Jang Ji-hye wouldn’t believe me, I called my brother in to testify.
“Ji-hye, my sister is a terrifyingly good singer. When I think about her wasted talent, I literally wake up in the middle of the night kicking my blankets.”
“Then why are you calling Yu-seok to testify instead of just singing yourself? You could just sing one line. It’s simple.”
“No, it’s embarrassing. It’s not like we’re at a karaoke bar…”
“Sing it, sing it! Please? Pretty please?”
“Ji-hye, once you hear it, you’ll understand exactly how frustrated I’ve been all this time.”
Since Jang Ji-hye kept pestering me, I sang a song lightly. With my eyes closed out of embarrassment, of course.
“…Happy now?”
When I peeked my eyes open, Jang Ji-hye had both hands over her mouth. The look in her eyes was so intense it felt like my face was going to melt.
“Yujin… you’re actually really good at singing.”
“I can do pretty much anything that involves using my body.”
“That’s why she’s terrible at poker. And she sucks at brainy strategy turn-based games like Civilization.”
“I don’t suck at Civilization! Sid Meier just can’t balance the game!”
I gave my brother’s back a smack and kicked him out of the room. I was about to queue for a new match when…
“What a waste. If I were in charge of the LoL league, I’d definitely have you perform the theme song at the finals. The elf who made Netscreen viewers all over the world cry turns out to be a rank 1 Challenger? And she’s good at singing? Wow, how could anyone pass that up?”
I felt a momentary dizzy spell from the "elf attack" she slipped in so naturally, but honestly, the idea of singing the LoL finals theme was tempting. It’s the kind of daydream any summoner who protects the peace of the Rift would have at least once.
“But for you, Yujin, it’s not a daydream. You could probably make it happen if you set your mind to it. Should I try to get in touch with them?”
“…No, it’s fine.”
“A sudden change of heart? Did you lose interest already?”
“I’m interested, but it’s not good to fly too close to the sun.”
“You mean Shin Sang-hyun?”
“Yeah. A god is most fun when worshipped from afar.”
That was one of the last words left by the Inquisitor I served in a past life. Of course, I’d adapted it slightly.
「Quanto longius a Domino fides servatur, tanto pretiosior est.」
(Faith is most precious when kept at the greatest distance from the Lord.)
“That’s why I seriously considered debuting as a pro gamer but gave it up.”
“Aha. You were afraid the mystery would be ruined if you got too close to your god?”
“Something like that. Though I know my god would never be like that.”
Jang Ji-hye giggled.
“But Yujin, even if you’d become a pro gamer, you wouldn’t have lasted long before being dragged into the acting world. Production companies wouldn’t have left you alone.”
While tidying my clothes before bed, I saw the business card I’d received earlier from that Hollywood actor, Chris-something. I shoved it into a corner of a drawer where it wouldn’t be seen.
How strong must the hearts of people living in a country where mass shootings happen every day be?
As someone who had spent most of her many past lives on battlefields where people died constantly, I truly couldn’t understand it.
Why haven’t I had any weird dreams lately? Do they really hate giving out After-Sales Service Compensation that much?
I was bombarded by Jang Ji-hye’s quiet chatter until I finally fell asleep.
*
I returned from another day of hard sword-swinging on set to find the atmosphere suddenly chaotic.
“Actress Lee Yu-jin! Your fans sent a steak and dessert tribute!”
“What?”
“A steak truck and a dessert truck arrived in your name! Congratulations on your first tribute!”
“Whoa, congratulations!”
“Congrats!”
Receiving a "tribute," something I’d only ever heard about, left me feeling a bit dazed. I hadn’t expected this at all.
Meat. It’s meat.
Anyway, I excitedly went to check it out, only to freeze when I saw the massive photo of myself installed on top of the truck.
It was a scene from Part 1 of Hwan’s Torch, where the silver-haired Yeon Si-ho was closing her eyes.
And the text written on the banner below:
「Wake up, Elf, and eat this.」
Now even the fans were trying to kill me with embarrassment.
What is there left to live for…