Chapter 22: Even If It Wasn’t What I Wanted
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 22: Even If It Wasn’t What I Wanted
“Alright, let’s go again. We’ve got plenty of time, so just relax, relax. We haven’t even found a new male lead yet anyway.”
PD Jang Hyun-soo’s banter drew a round of light laughter from the crew.
Actor Park Seong-gu calmly stared down the masked Lee Yu-jin.
A moment after the cue sign was given...
Lee Yu-jin lunged toward him.
She was fast and sharp, like a steel arrow.
Her sword…!
Usually, when coordinating action sequences with actresses or stunts, Park Seong-gu would tell them to swing comfortably while he adjusted to them.
But now, it was the exact opposite.
Why is it so heavy?
Every time their blades clashed, his wrists stung.
A vibration traveled from his forearms, sending a sharp tremor through his entire body.
How does she get this much power out of those thin arms? Or is it not just strength?
Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!
In the midst of the frantic exchange, he caught a glimpse of Lee Yu-jin’s eyes.
Behind the mask, her pupils moved rapidly, scanning every inch of him.
Park Seong-gu realized that Yu-jin had likely identified over ten of his weaknesses in real-time, and he let out a dry laugh internally.
She wasn't an opponent he could afford to be so casual with.
Oops!
The moment his strength wavered even slightly, his sword went flying into the air again.
Startled, Lee Yu-jin also tossed her sword into the air, making it look as if she had dropped it from the impact as well.
It was a commendable effort to react instantly and prevent an NG, but it wasn't natural enough to look like she had actually been overpowered.
“Cut! NG!”
Despite the repeated NGs, the PD didn’t look upset.
He stared at the monitor, a satisfied smile spreading across his face.
It meant the scene was getting closer to the vision in his head.
Or perhaps, it had already surpassed it.
“Yu-jin.”
“Yes, sunbae-nim.”
After several NGs and practicing their coordination, Park Seong-gu had naturally started speaking informally to her.
Given that he was old enough to be her uncle and had a massive gap in experience, it was expected, but he wouldn't have done so if Lee Yu-jin hadn't suggested it first.
What is this minor’s aura…? Is the combat power of high school actresses these days always like this?
“It’s really hard to lose naturally, isn't it?”
“I’ll work harder.”
“I’m not scolding you. It’s just that my stamina is flagging, so it’s hard to keep up. It might actually be better to revise the scene so that I’m the one losing.”
Lee Yu-jin, who had pulled down her mask, let out a small chuckle at his words.
Park Seong-gu, a family man, wasn't romantically swayed by that smile, but he suddenly felt a deep envy for Yu-jin’s father.
How fun would it be to raise a daughter like her?
I wonder what her parents look like. I guess those genes don't go anywhere, do they?
Filming resumed.
After a few more NGs, they finally started getting some decent shots.
The kind of footage that could be woven into a great scene with the power of editing.
“Cut! Okay! Good work, everyone!”
Only then did Park Seong-gu breathe a sigh of relief. He watched Lee Yu-jin’s retreating back as she bowed to him and returned to Jang Ji-hye.
As she sat on a folding chair in the shade and comfortably removed her mask, the two child actors sat on either side of her as if they had been waiting.
Seeing the sparkling eyes of the boy, Jang Dong-hyun, Park Seong-gu couldn't help but laugh.
Kids really are more sensitive to beautiful things.
*
That was seriously exhausting.
Losing naturally is so difficult. I’ve never even considered such a concept before.
I had to constantly suppress the shock trooper soul inside me that kept screaming to strike him down.
“Yu-jin, your swordplay is so cool. I want to learn how to use a sword too.”
“Noona, when are you going to take off the mask?”
Yeah, that’s never happening.
I’m going to stay as a supporting masked warrior with almost no lines until I die.
Perhaps because I’d been working hard on their "mental care," the child actors’ faces had brightened up significantly.
It’s nice that people don’t talk to me unnecessarily.
Is it because I’ve only been rotating between school, the set, and home lately?
The memories of receiving confession barrage attacks and number-asking attacks are starting to fade, which is great. It’s so comfortable.
The filming set is a much more peaceful place than the world outside.
“It’s almost time for us to stand before the camera together, isn't it?”
“Ah, Yoon Se-rang sunbae-nim. Welcome.”
Yoon Se-rang, who had been showing up to the set almost every day even when she didn't have scenes, sat down in front of me.
The child actors gave polite greetings and then slunk away, using their mothers as an excuse.
Is Yoon Se-rang that scary?
With her arms crossed and legs elegantly tucked, she certainly exuded the aura of a star actress.
Seeing her like this brought back memories of her begging the PD to save her, asking how she was supposed to do a two-shot with me.
Looking at the selfie the three of us took with Jang Ji-hye, she was undeniably beautiful.
The same went for her appearance right now.
I’m pretty sure I made a wish to live with a woman like this…
Maybe the voice of the divine being I heard every time I died in my past lives was just a hallucination.
“Aren't the cotton veil and mask uncomfortable?”
“I’m fine. They’re comfortable.”
“Do you usually wear a mask when you go out?”
“I tend to.”
“How many times did you get scouted or hit on per minute when you were out? Based on your career high.”
“Do people track career highs for things like that?”
“I’ve never been hit on in the street, so I’m curious about the experience.”
“Right. You debuted early, didn't you?”
Since she had lived as a star since she was young, she wouldn't have had experiences like being hit on in the street.
“It’s not a good memory. I’m usually deep in thought, and it feels like an external stimulus is forcibly breaking my train of thought.”
“I think I know what you mean. Like the feeling of a manager calling right when you’re immersing yourself in a character’s emotions while reading a script?”
“At least the manager is on the same side.”
Becoming comfortable friends with Yoon Se-rang—was this the greatest harvest of appearing in this drama?
It would be a good social asset even after I retire.
“But aren't you nervous? You’re finally standing in front of the camera with me.”
“Do I need to be nervous?”
“Actually, I’m the one who’s nervous.”
“Pfft!”
I burst out laughing despite myself.
“That was a completely unexpected sneak attack.”
“I’m starting to realize how the actresses who did two-shots with me must have felt. I’ve been so anxious lately I can’t even sleep well.”
I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to that.
Saying "I’m wearing a mask anyway" would seem too much like a mockery.
“So, do you want to grab a drink together today?”
“Pardon?”
“Ah, right. You’re a minor. Right.”
She looked like she had genuinely forgotten.
“Then I’ll drink alone, and you can have juice?”
“I prefer Coke.”
“Really? I hadn't heard that.”
“I practically live on Coke instead of water at home.”
“Doesn't your skin break out?”
“If I have to give up delicious things because I’m afraid of that, there’s no reason to live a long life.”
Yoon Se-rang roared with laughter.
I wasn't trying to be funny, but it felt good. Do I have a talent for making people laugh?
“Then we’re having a drink together?”
“Yes, sunbae-nim.”
“Come to my car when we wrap up today. Bring the PD’s daughter along, too.”
“Yes, sunbae-nim.”
*
And so, I once again got to experience the ride quality of a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to experience the "prestige" of stepping out of it.
The place we got out was the parking garage of Yoon Se-rang’s mansion, so there was no one to see.
I’m actually getting to see a Hallyu star’s house.
Is this life finally giving me the rewards for all the suffering I went through in my past lives? It would have been perfect if I had just been born with a proper body.
Jang Ji-hye was even more overwhelmed than I was.
“Unnie, your house is so wonderful. It’s amazing.”
“Is it? Thanks.”
From what I remember, Jang Ji-hye’s house in Cheongdam-dong was no slouch either.
I guess there’s a different kind of "image premium" that comes with a mansion where a star actress lives alone.
A meal was already set out in the dining room.
It was at the level of a full-course restaurant banquet.
“Who set all this up already?”
“Oh, a chef’s home-visit service. I’ll introduce you when you move out on your own, Yu-jin. This company is convenient, and they’re good at keeping their mouths shut.”
“Are you talking about Anticco?”
“Ji-hye, you know them?”
“My family uses them occasionally too. Our housekeeper is also from there.”
“Isn't it convenient?”
“It’s really convenient and the food is great.”
It felt like I was eavesdropping on a conversation between people in the "league of stars."
“I can really feel that both of you live in a completely different world from me.”
“...”
“...”
“Why are you looking at me like that… Ji-hye?”
Jang Ji-hye let out a silent sigh and turned her head.
Yoon Se-rang stared at me for a moment before letting out a hollow laugh.
“You shouldn't be the one saying that. Ji-hye, would you rather have 100 trillion won, or swap bodies with Yu-jin?”
“I’d swap bodies, no question.”
“What about 1,000 trillion won?”
“Still Yu-jin’s body.”
Suddenly, I wanted to go home…
*
The meal was delicious.
Yoon Se-rang told me about the candidates for the male lead who would replace the disgraced Kim Ho-jin.
“To be honest, there aren't many actors on the market right now who can cover Kim Ho-jin’s star power, so I’m not sure how it’ll go. But the PD and writer are doing their best to list candidates, so it’ll all work out.”
“The project won’t be scrapped, will it? It’s our Yu-jin’s debut work.”
“It’s a Netscreen production, so that won’t happen. The broadcast might be delayed, though. They might push the male lead’s parts back and produce other parts first.”
How much longer?
I’m finally working with Yoon Se-rang.
If I look closely, she kind of looks like Eonnyeoni? Ah, maybe I’m overestimating Eonnyeoni too much.
Yoon Se-rang sipped her drink and eventually got a bit tipsy.
The way her unfocused eyes looked at me was alluring.
If I were in my past-life body, my heart might have been racing like crazy in this situation.
But because I was in a woman’s body, that kind of tension didn't arise.
“Yu-jin, are you really going to wear the mask until the end?”
“Pardon? Well, that’s the character…”
“Unnie? What do you mean? She’s not going to do a face reveal until the end?”
“Isn't it a waste? It’s your debut work, but you’re just going to appear as a masked warrior and then exit.”
“Not really. I’m going to retire after this anyway…”
“What? Retire?”
“Retire?!”
Both of them were so startled their voices rose.
My mistake. My inner thoughts slipped out.
“I just did it for the experience.”
“Yu-jin, are you doing this because of that bastard Kim Ho-jin? Did you become disillusioned with this industry?”
“It’s not that. I just have something else I want to do.”
“What is it? What? You never told me anything like that. I really believed you were going to keep acting.”
I felt a bit sorry for Jang Ji-hye on that front.
Actually, there wasn't anything specific I wanted to do.
Yoon Se-rang’s eyes trembled violently as if she had been shocked.
“If it’s not because of Kim Ho-jin, then is it because of me?”
“Pardon? Sunbae-nim, it’s nothing like that.”
“Is it because I whined about not being able to do a two-shot with you when we first met? Did you decide to retire because you felt it was too dirty to keep going?”
“It’s definitely not that.”
“If that’s the case, then show your face.”
“Pardon?”
“Just don’t wear the mask and show your face. I’ll get intense skin treatments, so don’t worry about it and just do it.”
“Sunbae-nim…”
Yoon Se-rang was getting worked up.
“I can never be the malicious veteran actress who buried a promising rookie just so I could shine alone. Just show it all, fair and square.”
“She’s right. Debuting and retiring at the same time? That’s nonsense. This can’t happen. If you’re going to do that, give that face to me!”
“...Take it if you can.”
“Wow, what a flex. It’s frustrating, but I have no choice but to admit it.”
The excited Yoon Se-rang sipped her wine even faster while pouring out her nagging.
“No retirement. If you don’t act with a face like that, life is going to be really exhausting. Look at me. I never get hit on in the street, see how comfortable it is? You want to live in a house like this too, right? So act. Just act…”
“Sunbae-nim, you’re very drunk…”
“Rescind your retirement! Rescind it!”
And with that, Yoon Se-rang passed out.
We went home in the Rolls-Royce driven by her manager.
*
Two days later.
The atmosphere was strangely heavy as Mom, Jang Ji-hye, and I headed to the set.
Before getting out of the car after parking, Mom asked cautiously.
“Yu-jin, I heard that you’re going to wear the mask until the very end… That’s not true, is it?”
I glanced at Ji-hye, who was shaking her head frantically.
As if to say it wasn't her.
“Don’t blame Ji-hye. I’ve been in touch with the staff, so I just heard the rumor. It’s not true, is it?”
“It’s true. I agreed to those terms from the beginning…”
“I thought you were going to hide it the whole time and then have a grand face reveal at a crucial moment.”
She let out a light sigh and quietly got out of the car.
After that, Mom didn't mention it again. Her attitude was the same as usual.
But the faint shadow on one side of her face kept weighing on my heart.
Come to think of it, Mom was always like that.
She never even suggested things I truly wanted or didn't want, leaving me to do as I pleased.
Completely ignoring the expectations Mom has… is this really what I want?
Since being born into this body, my mind had never been as complicated as it was today.
*
Writer Jung Yoon-ah was so surprised she almost fell backward.
“Really? You’re really going to take off the mask? I mean, you’ll let it be taken off?”
Lee Yu-jin added softly, looking a bit embarrassed.
“Yes, but only briefly when I exit… would that be okay?”
“Of course! Why wouldn't it be? I’ll do whatever my darling wants!”
Writer Jung Yoon-ah was so moved she even shed a few tears.
“I knew I could count on you, darling…”