All You Have to Do Is Listen to Me
Lately, Leehyun had been acting strange.
Was it starting from last week? It seemed to have begun the very day after our trip to see the cherry blossoms.
In the past, whenever I sent her a message, a reply would usually come within a few minutes. If she was quick, it took only seconds. She had always seemed like someone spending the entire day anxiously waiting by her phone for my texts. Recently, however, her replies had grown painfully sluggish. There were times when a whole hour passed before she responded at all.
Or am I overthinking it? Is this just normal?
After all, she had her own career and demanding work, so checking her phone late was perfectly understandable. Perhaps I had simply grown spoiled because every other woman around me replied at lightning speed.
If it were only delayed messages, I could easily shrug it off, but…
There were several other signs that made me suspect something was off. First, the frequency with which she reached out to me first had dropped sharply. Night after night, she was perpetually tied up, as if she were working overtime every single day. The final straw came last weekend, when she actually turned down my offer for a date. That was when I knew for certain that something was amiss.
At a glance, one might jump to unpleasant conclusions. Perhaps another man had entered her life, or maybe her interest in me was beginning to cool.
No, it doesn't feel like she’s grown distant.
It was unlikely to be anything negative like that. Her tone over the phone, the warmth in her voice, and the lingering tenderness in her texts remained unchanged. More likely, something had happened to her—something sapping her time and mental energy that she couldn't bring herself to confess.
I left her that brief message. I had no desire to pry into every private corner of her life, but when someone kept sending out distress signals, I couldn't simply sit back and play dumb. Leehyun belonged to me now. If it was something within my power to fix, I would help; if not, the least I could do was offer my support.
It would be best to meet face-to-face and talk.
Since she was swamped, I planned to adjust to her schedule. When people were genuinely buried in work, even setting aside time to eat felt wasteful, but surely she could spare a brief moment. If I took a more proactive approach, she would carve out the time.
Alright, back to studying.
Wondering what had happened, whether I could help, or why she found it so hard to tell me—ruminating on those questions alone wouldn't solve a thing. Until her call came, all I needed to do was focus on my own tasks.
Just focus on studying… That’s all I need to do. So why am I like this?
Though the book lay open before me, the words refused to register. Thoughts of Leehyun kept drifting back, fracturing my concentration.
I can only figure out what to do after we talk. Why do I keep looping through the same useless worries?
Until now, Leehyun had almost exclusively stirred pleasant, pleasurable emotions within me. Yet as I thought of her now, an entirely different sentiment kept rearing its head.
Worry.
Concern for another person was taking root inside my chest. And to me, this sensation called worry felt dreadfully bothersome.
In the end, I managed to set up a meeting with Leehyun. She agreed to drive over to the front of my house on Saturday evening. It turned out she wasn't quite so busy that she couldn't spare time for dinner after all.
The week slipped by quickly, and Saturday arrived in no time. Throughout the workdays, I kept up my steady routine of commuting and diligent study. Fortunately, after locking in our plans, the nagging anxiety subsided. Eunjung and the others had invited me to the manga cafe again, but I postponed that to next week. Uncertain of how my weekend schedule would shake out, I wanted to bank as many study hours in advance as possible.
"Make sure to lock up tight. Ah, of all times, Mom had to be busy at the plant too."
"I'll be fine. It's not like I'm a child."
"No, wait… should I just skip this mobilization training and go next time instead?"
Sitting by the front entryway, Yeoeun repeated the exact same hesitation for the third time, pulling her foot back out of the combat boot she had just shoved it into.
"Noona."
"Yeah?"
"Isn't it just that you really don't want to go?"
"Of course I don't want to go! Haa… I mean, that's true, but I'm genuinely worried about leaving you alone too."
Yeoeun sighed and pushed herself up from the floor, dressed in a sharply tailored set of combat fatigues. Seeing her in military uniform was a stark reminder that she was indeed a discharged veteran, even if she looked a bit like someone doing military cosplay.
"I'll keep the doors bolted tight. Don't worry about me and just go safely. You have to get through it eventually anyway."
"I know, but… my body just feels so heavy for some reason."
Complaining that all her strength drained away the moment she put on fatigues, she slumped her shoulders. I gave her firm backside an encouraging pat, urging her to cheer up.
Starting today, Yeoeun had to attend two nights and three days of reserve mobilization training. She had chosen the weekend schedule herself. The real reason for her lingering hesitation was the fact that I would be left completely alone in the house all weekend. The training ran from today through Monday, and Mother was swamped with weekend overtime at the factory, meaning she wouldn't be returning home either.
"By the way, Noona, you look really good in uniform."
"Huh? Really?"
"Yeah. What about what's underneath? Did you keep your standard-issue underwear?"
"I think it's lying around somewhere if I look for it… Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
Taking her hand, I guided it down toward the bulge between my thighs.
"You look really sexy dressed like this."
"Heheh. Really? Ah, then maybe I really should just skip training this time and—"
Yeoeun's eyes sparkled with sudden heat. Only moments ago, she had been whining that pulling an all-nighter before mobilization was pure torture, yet her expression brightened with startling speed.
"No way. Next time. Only after you finish your training properly."
"Ugh… fine, I guess that's fair. You always get my hopes up for nothing."
"Hmm. Noona, do you not like the idea of a guy wearing a uniform?"
"A uniform? What kind of uniform?"
"A soldier's uniform, a police officer's, or maybe even an inmate jumpsuit… Is there anything you'd want to see?"
Whatever lurid fantasy crossed her mind, the corners of Yeoeun's mouth crept higher and higher. While she drifted off into her thoughts, I slipped my hand beneath the hem of her combat jacket and gently kneaded her soft breast.
"Think about it while you're away. If you complete your training well, I might just grant you one request."
At my proposition, accompanied by the slow rhythm of my fingers on her chest, the tension completely melted from her face. She broke into a giddy, helpless grin.
"Really? You promise?"
"Yes. But I'm not saying I'll do literally anything. We'll have to negotiate."
"Oh, hell yeah~!"
I had added that safeguard just in case she proposed something utterly unhinged, but she seemed overjoyed regardless.
"So put your boots back on now. You can't be late."
"Alright, alright. Whew… I'm heading out."
Squatting back down, Yeoeun laced up her boots with renewed vigor. When she finished preparing, I opened my arms and asked for a hug.
"Have a safe trip. Be careful not to get hurt."
"Yeah. Have a good weekend yourself, Jeongseo. If you get bored, go ahead and play games in my room."
Yeoeun scooped me up into a crushing embrace, showering my face with a barrage of affectionate kisses. After casting several lingering, regret-filled glances back in my direction, she finally stepped out the front door.
I had successfully seen her off.
Originally, my plan had been to visit Leehyun's officetel early in the afternoon. I had intended to buy groceries and cook her a proper home-cooked dinner, but she politely declined, claiming her apartment was far too messy and insisting that we meet outside instead.
I briefly considered inviting her over to my place, but quickly discarded the thought. I wasn't the owner of the house, after all. In the end, we agreed on dining out.
She said she had something important to tell me.
After seeing Yeoeun off at dawn, I spent the morning clearing through backlogged chores. After lunch, I studied for a while, and now I was busy getting ready with extra care. She had mentioned needing to share something serious, and I had an inkling it was tied to the very things I had been fretting over.
Look at the time… Time to head out.
The appointment hour was drawing near. After one final check in the mirror, I stepped outside.
Creak, thud.
I arrived five minutes ahead of our scheduled time. After carefully locking the front gate, I stood in the quiet, empty alleyway, waiting for her to pull up.
As I stood there spacing out—
"Jeongseo!"
"Noona?"
Leehyun suddenly darted out from behind a large parked truck, slightly out of breath. It looked as though she had sprinted the final stretch. I had assumed she might run a little late, but I was mistaken; she had appeared almost the exact moment I turned around after locking the gate.
"Haa… seriously. I tried to park right here, but some middle-aged woman suddenly started screaming at me to move my car."
"What? What do you mean?"
"There wasn't any parking space nearby, so I tried to pull up right in front of your gate like last time, but…"
She explained that an unreasonable woman had thrown a massive fit, demanding she clear out immediately—even though this was my front gate.
"There was no reasoning with her. So I had to go all the way to that pay lot down the road and run over."
"Ah, you should have called me."
"No, it's fine. She looked genuinely unhinged. It was better not to get mixed up with someone like that."
"Then when did you get here? Have you been waiting long?"
Today, as always, she had arrived early just to wait for me. Looking at me, she broke into the same bright, radiant smile as before.
"Because of that, we'll have to walk a little."
The moment I saw her face, all the lingering anxieties nestled in my chest dissolved into thin air. Without even realizing it, I must have been harboring dark doubts. Yet here she was, the very same Leehyun.
"Sure, I don't mind walking. But, Noona."
If there was one thing that had changed…
"Hm?"
"Why do you look so worn out? Have things been that difficult?"
Her face looked half its usual size. She was so gaunt and exhausted that even her makeup couldn't fully conceal the hollow weariness beneath her skin. In just two short weeks, she seemed to have shed a noticeable amount of weight.
"Ah… I'm sorry. Do I look awful right now?"
"No, it's not that at all. I'm just worried about you."
"I've just been really swamped. Lots of studying to do, too… Shall we head over and talk first?"
She reached out her hand. Instead of merely taking it, I caught her fingers and gently pulled her toward me.
"Ah."
I didn't particularly care to show public displays of affection out on the street, but I couldn't resist wrapping my arms around her, even if only for a moment. She looked so utterly drained.
"Noona. Whatever it is, you'll be fine. You've worked so hard."
I wrapped my arms securely around her slender waist.
"Jeongseo…"
Her arms opened, returning the embrace in full. Because of the difference in our frames, it ended up looking like she was the one holding me protectively, even though my intention had been to comfort her.
"If something's troubling you, tell me."
"Mm. Thank you. Haa… this feels so nice."
The crimson sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon. In the quiet alleyway, our shadows merged, stretching out into one long silhouette along the pavement.