Chapter 12: Mars Wouldn't Cooperate
Gurgle—
I woke up starving.
Thinking back, I'd had that whole thing with the Outer God and crashed right after. No wonder my stomach was empty after burning all that energy without eating.
"Maybe I should boil some ramen."
As I sat up, the Outer God uncurled from the corner like a ghost and stood with me. Her shadow rose behind her too.
"My liege. Where are you headed?"
"To the kitchen. Why?"
"This lady shall accompany you."
"...Fine, whatever."
I put water in the pot. The Outer God stuck right to my back, peering curiously at every move I made. Her shadow leaned in too.
It was kinda overwhelming. But hey, it must be fascinating for her.
Before I knew it, the water was boiling. I dumped in the spice packet and the noodles.
Bubble bubble. The spicy ramen scent filled the tiny room, and the Outer God's eyes doubled in size.
"Th-this... what is it?"
"Ramen."
"Ra... men..."
She savored the word like it was sacred.
I plunked the finished pot straight on the table. As I grabbed chopsticks, she couldn't wait and reached right for the pot.
"Wait, it's hot—"
Before I could stop her, she lifted the whole pot and chugged it down.
Scoville Burn
The air in the room split.
Her eyes bulged like they might tear. Her shadow rippled in spasms behind her.
"Th-this...!"
"Hot, right?"
"The truth of the universe..."
"...Huh?"
"This broth... contains the truth of the universe...!"
She tilted her head back and drained the pot vertically. Not a drop left. Clutching the empty vessel like a holy grail, she trembled.
"What is this violent umami harmony with the carbs...?"
"It's MSG."
"Em... Es... Gee..."
She chewed the letters like a god's name.
"Engrave it. 'Tis the name of truth."
Having inhaled my dinner solo, she hugged the empty pot and declared with resolve.
"This lady has awakened. Defy you, and fall to darkness. Follow you, and receive truth..."
A cosmic being billions of years old tamed by one bowl of ramen.
The problem? It was my dinner.
"...Hey. That was my dinner."
"...?"
She glanced between the pot and me, showing real panic for the first time. Drunk on cosmic truth, she'd only now realized she'd stolen her master's food.
In the end, I boiled another one.
Taking advantage of the quiet, I flopped on the bed and pulled out my phone.
I'd totally forgotten about my stocks amid the chaos.
With all the big events, the market must've tanked. But they'd said upward trend as launch day neared, so probably just dipped a bit blue—
Orion (ORION) -42.8%
"....."
".....What?"
I turned my phone off and on. Same number. Refreshed. It dropped more.
-43.1%.
My blood ran cold.
With shaking hands, I checked Orion stock news.
Aaargh—
I thought the slight dip from last time had recovered, but what the hell is this?
2500 down to nearly 1300. For a commoner's portfolio, that's enough loss to stop two hearts.
The heavens hate me. Why this trial...
"Hoo..."
I took a deep breath and slowly sat up.
Unni flinched.
"Hey, why's your look so scary?"
I didn't answer. Time was critical.
I reached toward the night sky.
Constellation (星文) magic activated.
Target designated: Mars (火星).
My heart wouldn't stop racing.
But calm down.
Be precise. If it shifts too much for the probe to handle, that's worse.
Adjust the axial tilt to match the probe's entry angle.
Just.
Just a tiny bit.
Mars' axial tilt corrected by 0.00001 degrees.
Like shifting a single hair, I carefully twisted Mars.
Its axis shifted.
"Phew..."
I don't think I focused this hard even for college entrance exams.
Anyway, Mars fixed, I dusted my hands and flopped back on the bed.
Now just wait for the news.
Behind me, the Outer God muttered in shock.
"A planet... This lady merely devoured them, yet you handle it with such delicacy...?"
"Just a simple alignment."
"Align... ment..."
She jolted like she'd realized something and subtly straightened from her sprawled position, like it was her own master bedroom.
Not talking about you.
Five minutes. Ten.
Refresh... refresh... refre—
It's red.
The stock price shot through the chart.
+27%. +31%. +38%.
Aah.
Suddenly, the world looked beautiful.
Feeling pleased, I opened the gallery. Everyone must've heard by now.
"Heh heh."
My lips curled up without thinking.
Next post...
Bet their account melted with the miracle re-entry news. Inverse ain't for noobs, huh.
I silently mourned the poor soul and left a comment.
Believe it and win, don't and oh well.
Technically, I messed with Mars for my stocks, but hey, saved the probe crew too.
Good deed done.
As I pondered that, Unni muttered like entranced.
"Mars... you fixed it, right?"
Hyeonwol and the Outer God turned knowing gazes my way.
"Star-wielder..."
Hyeonwol clasped hands, voice quivering.
Right after subduing the Planet Devourer, you deign to adjust a celestial body for mere mortals... We are humbled...
"Indeed."
The Outer God nodded as if obvious.
Breaking this lady, then realigning a planet to save the weak. Truly worthy of my fealty.
Why are they suddenly like this?
Even as I panicked, profits climbed.
+41%.
Aah, 41... such a beautiful number.
My face right now must be the most benevolent I've ever worn.
Chinese assassins handled, alien tamed, stocks mooning.
Perfect day.
But that thought flipped fast.
Ding-dong—
No door, yet the bell rang.
Through the ripped-off front doorway, suited folks stood. The old man in front cleared his throat politely.
"Excuse us. From the Korean Hunter Association."
...Yeah, no way it'd end easy.
It came.
Jeong Daehun, Korea's Hunter Association President, swallowed dryly crossing the broken threshold.
He'd faced countless bigshots since taking office.
Never tensed like this before presidents or foreign guild masters.
Yet this five-pyeong studio's air crushed him.
In the corner, a pale-haired girl hugging an empty pot looked up, scanning him.
That gaze alone told him: the unidentified object that flipped the observatory was her.
"We meet the star-handler—"
As he bowed to her—
"This lady is but a servant. The master is there."
She pointed to the bed.
His eyes shifted.
There, another girl lay face-down, pale as death.
Frail limbs like they'd snap. Sickly, as if a breeze would scatter her.
Yet that fragile body housed the power to vaporize sea dragons and drop suns.
Jeong steadied his trembling hands and spoke.
"Hunter Association President, Jeong Daehun. Might I have a moment?"
"I'm just debris cleanup crew."
He sensed humility.
Hiding behind the lowliest role to evade eyes. Profound intent.
His head bowed naturally.
"...How could I not grasp that will?"
"Huh?"
She sounded puzzled, but he took it as a test.
Then, the pot-hugger tilted her head.
"You just aligned a planet. Why claim such a lowly station?"
Thud.
His mind blanked.
Emergency report: Mars' orbit subtly off, then corrected.
Orion's miracle survival news.
No way that too.
A staffer behind him staggered against the wall.
Stars weren't enough—now planets too?
"Sit."
One word offering seats.
He spotted no chairs, knelt on the linoleum folding his knees.
A national president on his knees.
Unconscious act. Sitting casually felt irreverent before her.
"Conditions."
"Name them."
"One. Register, but secret. No name, no face public. Zero media leaks."
"Done."
"Two. No gate drafts. Only if the country's literally collapsing."
Indeed.
Gates mean nothing to one who drops stars and tweaks planets. Her gaze reaches beyond mortal ken.
"Understood. Only at national peril, we beseech you."
"Three. Never call daytime. No questions."
Avoid day. He dared not guess why, but one thought struck.
Perhaps... by day, she alone guards against cosmic threats beyond.
His eyes welled.
"Noted. By day, we shan't disturb."
"Four. Backpay for past stuff. Gangseo-gu gate and West Sea sea dragon."
His chest tightened.
She who saved the nation effortlessly demands fair due. Not greed—preserving the Association's honor, sparing us debt's shame.
"Of course. Truth be, we came to repay that debt."
On a five-pyeong floor, he faced the hero he'd sought.
And that hero fiddled her phone half-prone on the bed.
Even that felt sacred.
I watched the president kneel and thought.
Wonder if his knees hurt.
My terms were pure slacker realism. Live comfy, eat free.
Why's he tearing up?
"Finally, we'll issue new ID.
Clean identity for secret ops.
Registration name...?"
"Lee Suhyuk."
Ah.
Blurted it reflexively, no thought.
"...Suhyuk?"
Unni furrowed her brow.
"Sounds like a guy's name."
The president tapped his device, then looked up oddly.
"Uh, Lee Suhyuk is registered male..."
"What?"
Unni's eyes went wide.
...Ah.
Worse than dropping stars from the sky. Worse than erasing that massive sea dragon.
This was the one secret I least wanted out.