A Minor Skuffle and the Maid's Wild Fantasy
The rest of the journey was surprisingly uneventful, aside from a few trivial incidents. Any bandit with half a brain took one look at the grim-faced escort knights sweating under the hot sun and thought better of attacking. The ones without any sense lost their heads to those same knights' blades. I'd been on edge during the first few ambushes, but these days I simply trusted the knights to handle it and stopped worrying altogether.
"Coo..."
This damn maid was taking a peaceful nap, as usual.
"You bastards! Do you have any idea whose procession you're blocking?"
As we drew closer to the academy, a bandit troupe appeared right on schedule. I remembered the brutal lesson I'd learned in that cave and refused to let my guard down like Cani, but I wasn't overly concerned either. I simply listened to the commotion outside.
"Hah, and who the hell are you supposed to be?"
The phlegmy voice painted a vivid picture even without seeing the face. Just another bunch of small fry.
In a world ruled by clichés, I figured a proper crisis was bound to show up eventually. Still, I doubted I'd lose to some third-rate bandits like these.
"Hey, move over."
I shoved Cani, who had rolled over in her sleep and invaded my personal space yet again. That was when it happened.
BOOM!
An explosion far too powerful to come from a skirmish with small-time thugs.
"Oh, fuck."
The curse I'd been consciously holding back finally slipped out.
"Eek!"
Cani woke with a start, drool still dribbling from the corner of her mouth.
"Shh." I clamped a hand over her lips and pressed my ear to the carriage door. The clash of steel rang out, followed by more explosions. I swallowed hard.
"Cani, stay right here and don't move a muscle."
"Huh? What about you, Young Master?"
"I'm a mage, remember? I should help."
There was no chance a mere bandit group could overpower the Edgar count family's knights. If they were somehow holding their own, it had to be because of the mage responsible for those explosions. Mage versus mage was Combat 101. I might be an inexperienced novice, but if I could just tip the scales even a little, the knights would overwhelm the rest.
The door creaked open. Every eye on the battlefield snapped toward me.
"Gasp! Young Master, please return to the carriage at once!"
"I'm a mage too, you know!"
A quick scan of the field showed no fallen knights, only a few bandit corpses scattered across the ground. On the enemy side, one figure stood with a robe pulled low over their face. That had to be the opposing mage.
"Magic Missile."
"Yikes!"
The enemy mage didn't even bother surveying the battlefield before firing. I had no talent for swordplay, but all my training paid off as I barely twisted out of the spell's path. This was my first real life-or-death magic duel, and the adrenaline hit like a drug. My body felt lighter than ever as I began casting.
"Fireball."
The most basic of basic mage spells. Because the formula was so simple, a fireball's power depended purely on the quantity and quality of the caster's mana rather than theory or technique. I still lacked experience and finesse, but with my overwhelming mana reserves, this was the perfect spell for me.
WHOOSH.
A fireball far too large to belong to a first-circle spell.
"Hyaaak!"
The bandits, who had only been receiving magical support until now, panicked at the incoming attack. Even though it wasn't aimed at them, they scattered in terror.
"Wait, why are you running?"
The mage who had casually avoided my spell with stealth magic stuttered in confusion. The fleeing bandits clearly didn't share any real trust with their spellcaster.
Rather than chase the runners, the knights formed a coordinated encirclement around the mage. I reactivated my mana circuits and prepared my next cast.
"Ugh, you fucking bastards."
The mage had worn the robe to hide their identity but had just revealed their voice. And that voice belonged to a delicate young woman.
She's definitely a major character.
This world came from a male-oriented novel. In those stories, a male villain was usually a throwaway character. A female villain, on the other hand, was almost always important. A quick peek beneath the hood confirmed she was stunningly beautiful. A beautiful female antagonist? That sealed it. She was a top-tier figure in this world's narrative.
Princess of a fallen kingdom? Leader of a secret society? A noble lady plotting treason?
All sorts of possibilities raced through my mind.
"Attack!"
The count's elite knights moved in perfect sync, their blades swinging as one. It looked impossible to dodge, even for a knight commander.
"Got her!"
Ah...
Just as a blade was about to graze the mage's neck, some idiot knight planted a massive death flag. The woman moved in a way that should have been impossible, slipping past the sword tip by a hair's breadth.
Whoever that was, he's dead meat.
"Wind Cutter!"
The moment the knights' coordinated strike failed, I unleashed the spell I'd been pre-charging. A razor-sharp blade of wind screamed forward.
The mage, who had frozen for a split second, raised her wrist. A golden bracelet flashed.
"Shield."
A third-circle shield spell bloomed around her. My wind blade, impressively strong for first-circle magic, still couldn't break through. It left only a small crack before vanishing.
"Charge!"
True to their skill, the knights pressed the attack the instant my magic failed.
"Hmph. I'll have to withdraw for now."
The classic "we'll meet again" line. The mage pulled a scroll from her robe.
"That's a teleportation scroll!"
The vice-commander recognized it immediately and paled. A scroll that could instantly transport the user to a set location was essentially an extra life. They were so valuable that high nobles and the imperial family paid castle-sized sums for them. No way a mere first-circle mage would own one. It must have come from her family.
Why a lady from a house rich enough to hand out teleport scrolls was playing bandit was beyond me.
FLASH!
The scroll tore just before the knights' blades could reach her. In a burst of light, the mage vanished.
"Damn it."
The knights grumbled, frustrated at losing their target at the last second. I patted one on the shoulder.
"It's fine that she got away. Our safety is what matters most, right?"
"...Understood."
After calming the knight, the vice-commander in charge of the escort approached with a grave expression.
"Young Master, the fact that she used a teleportation scroll suggests she's from a high-ranking noble house."
"I was thinking the same thing."
"There may be retaliation later, so we'd like to pick up the pace. Is that acceptable?"
"Yeah. Safety first."
Even near the capital, the roads in this world were poorly maintained. Speeding up in the carriage would mean brutal motion sickness. That's why we'd been traveling slowly and resting often. But with the possibility of pursuit, we couldn't afford those luxuries anymore.
"Understood. I'll order an immediate departure."
"Thanks. I'll leave it to you."
"Yes, sir!"
The vice-commander hurried off, smacking the resting knights on their backsides.
"Oi, you lot! Prepare to move out!"
"What? We just finished fighting!"
"What if that mage comes back with reinforcements? We need to put as much distance as possible between us."
"...Right. Understood."
The vice-commander herded the knights with practiced efficiency. I left the rest to him and climbed back into the carriage.
"Hic... Bandits are scary..."
This pathetic excuse for a maid. Her master had just risked his life in battle, yet instead of greeting him, she was curled up under a blanket, trembling. She probably hadn't even realized the fight was over.
I approached to tell her we'd won.
"Huuhuu... If the bandits catch me, they'll sell me as a virgin for a high price to some filthy pig noble..."
The moment I reached out to tap her shoulder, she launched into full novel-writing mode.
"..."
I was genuinely curious how far this would go, so I kept quiet and watched.
"Poor Cani, sold to a pig noble after losing all hope. The disgusting noble will drool all over himself at the thought of making the beautiful Cani his wife."
Look at the sheer level of delusion.
"Cani, eyes dead, dreams and hopes shattered. Dragged helplessly behind iron bars, when suddenly the Young Master—who everyone thought was dead—steps forward to block their path."
Why am I in this story?
"The Young Master, bearing a terrible wound over his left eye from the fierce battle with the bandits, now wears a stylish eyepatch."
She'd turned a perfectly healthy person into a pirate in seconds.
"The Young Master grips his bastard sword tightly and charges forward bravely!"
She was really getting into it. And I'm a mage, you idiot.
"The Young Master engages in a fierce duel with the pig noble's knights. After a hard-fought victory, he points his blade at the noble himself."
At this point, I was convinced Cani's true calling wasn't maid work but writing pulp fiction.
"Give me back my woman, Count!"
Cani was fully acting it out now, completely lost in her fantasy.
"Hmph! I cannot possibly hand her over!"
She even delivered a perfect pig-noble impression.
"Then die!"
I kicked her squarely in the rear.
"You die."
"Heeeeeeek? Young Master?"
"Yeah. It's the Young Master who lost his left eye in that brutal fight with the bandits."
"Hahaha..."
Cold sweat poured down Cani's forehead as her eyes spun in circles. It looked like it was finally time to discipline this troublemaking maid.