Bitter Defeat and Pro Gamer Dreams
Han Jiyeon suddenly burst into tears.
It was all the more bewildering because the girl who always smiled so brightly was doing it.
"Uh…."
Siwoo blinked and looked at his friends.
They were just as lost, peeking at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
It wasn't incomprehensible. He had wanted to win too.
His friends probably felt the same. No one likes losing, after all.
That's how painful defeat is.
Especially if you're used to victory.
And when your own mistakes pile on, it digs even deeper.
That's the nature of competition.
It gives the victor endlessly sweet fruit and the loser a bottomless bitter shell.
Team Saseong—we were used to winning.
Even our 5-man queues for practice had a high win rate, and we'd climbed from the Series Cup qualifiers all the way to the quarterfinals.
We remembered the sweetness of that fruit.
So this loss hit us even harder.
We'd always found answers to secure victory before, but not this time.
Of course, as underdogs, it was a solid result.
For amateur civilians, it was impressive.
But did that make it okay to accept defeat?
Han Jiyeon was frustrated. Just like he had been, just like his friends were—
If you have a strong competitive spirit, emotions leaking out is natural.
Like most Overlant players, Han Jiyeon was no exception.
The tears weren't her choice; they were the result of pent-up feelings.
"Sorry… I didn't mean to cry… I was just so frustrated… Ah, thanks…."
Han Jiyeon wiped her tears with her fingertips. Siwoo pulled out a few tissues and handed them to her.
"It's fine. Emotions run high sometimes. Mine would've shattered too."
"Agreed. I kinda wanna strip and scream right now."
"…Isn't that just perverted?"
Siwoo and the friends tossed jokes around, waiting for Han Jiyeon to compose herself.
"Ha… I wanted to win. I wanted to climb higher with you guys. What a shame. Sorry, Siwoo. I sucked. Couldn't even take the handouts…."
Having wiped her tears, Han Jiyeon gave an awkward smile.
"Nah, Jiyeon. Honestly, without Siwoo, we all sucked."
"Yeah. I barely dealt any damage."
"If I'd just shielded properly…."
The friends jumped in to console her like they'd been waiting. Siwoo chuckled softly and shook his head.
"It's okay. Losses happen. I never thought we'd win forever. And honestly, we were supposed to lose. We're just amateur high schoolers; they're trainees drilled by pro teams."
If Saseong had won here, the world would be broken. That's what Siwoo thought.
Does it make sense for regular high school kids to beat guys who eat, sleep, and breathe Overlant, getting academy league offers and pro team bids?
"And I don't think today's loss or our prep was meaningless. It was fun, right? Practicing, piling into the subway to head to Overlant Championship Park, grabbing food after. All of it."
To Siwoo, this time felt like a dream.
Before, he had no friends to hang with and no time—straight home after school for studying.
Now they'd built memories together.
"Thanks for inviting me to the tournament with you."
Siwoo smiled gently. Chasing dreams, making memories, getting help early in the semester—nothing to thank Han Jiyeon for more.
"…I'm glad you see it that way."
Only then did Han Jiyeon lift the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were puffy, but the smile was genuine.
"Yeah, it was fun. That's what matters."
"Let's cheers."
"How many times you gonna say cheers today? You said it during the game too."
"Gonna get wasted cheering like this, man."
The friends ribbed Jinseong for his lame jokes. Siwoo couldn't help bursting into laughter at the absurdity.
Yeah. Not winning sucks, but it meant something.
Siwoo turned to look outside the capsule booth. Cameras whirred, lights poured down.
Some cheering the underdogs lamented Saseong's loss; Atakin fans shook cheer props in unison, thrilled.
Saseong had lost.
But Siwoo was certain. His journey wouldn't end here. He'd join a pro team, and the real stage would begin.
It would be different then.
No more losses like this.
One failure had built experience, let him taste victory's sweet fruit. Through it, he knew exactly what he wanted.
No more running.
No more excuses to fool himself.
Now he'd become a pro gamer.
Chain wins, claim the championship cup.
"Let's head back, guys."
Siwoo returned home.
Sunset glow seeped through the window cracks, ambiguously lighting the darkness; the sun hung in the sky, vanishing between towering downtown skyscrapers.
It was that time.
Office workers clocked out, students headed to academies or home, bars just opening for business.
A time where beginnings and ends coexisted.
The pain of defeat still lingered, but gazing leisurely out the window dulled it—like taking painkillers.
He wasn't wallowing in sentiment just because the loss hurt. Siwoo and the humanities were worlds apart. Liking math said it all.
Anyway.
Sis'll be home soon.
Siwoo waited for his big sister to get off work. Today was for the showdown. Pros needed a guardian's okay.
…Mom seems supportive.
The real hurdle was big sis's permission. She had a bad view of pro gamers.
It wasn't about prestige. She'd seen too many from her generation chase it and crash.
Back then, Laker dominated esports, elevating Korea's status massively.
Tons of young guys wanted to be pros. Then VR hit, games boomed, esports exploded even more.
Laker left both light and shadow.
Siwoo gave a wry smile.
Laker was idols for boys, the hero who put Korean esports on the world map, the giant who changed perceptions.
But also the one who mass-produced failures.
Not Laker's fault, though.
Isn't the world always like that?
Competition means for every winner, a bunch of losers to fill his belly.
Ring!
Then—the door lock clicked open. Mom was home, so big sis.
Siwoo jumped from his chair to the living room.
"Siwoo-ya—Sis is home—!"
Fiery Friday vibes amped her voice higher than usual. Siwoo smirked, grabbing her bag.
"Welcome back?"
"Yeah. Food?"
"Not yet. Waited to eat with you."
"Aigoo, eat first if you're hungry. Always so thoughtful."
Big sis ruffled his hair wildly. It ended up a mess.
"Gonna wash up. Get ready."
"Okay."
As big sis headed to her room,
Siwoo took a deep breath and asked.
"Sis."
"Hm?"
"I got a pro gamer contract offer."
"…."
"Can I go pro?"
She froze.
"…Let's talk over dinner."
Dinner at the Lee house was routine.
No table for chairs—just spread on the living room floor.
Mom and big sis sat together; Siwoo alone with his spoon.
TV on, chatting idly, not fully focused on eating.
Today, words were scarce.
"…."
"…."
"…."
Big sis's expression was oddly dark.
Siwoo waited for her to speak first. Better to take it slow.
When bowls were half-empty,
"Siwoo-ya."
Big sis called him.
"You wanna be a pro gamer?"
"…Yeah."
Siwoo nodded, setting down his spoon.
"We dropped from the tourney today, but I think I've got talent. People love me, team staff gave me contacts. Asked if I was interested in going pro."
Big sis sighed deeply.
"You know you're second in the whole school, right?"
Siwoo answered with silence.
"Siwoo, pro gaming isn't something you just decide to do. Even with an offer now, no one knows what happens in a year."
Mom listened quietly. She already knew. He'd told her he wanted to go pro. She'd probably sensed it then.
"Back in school, tons of friends said they'd go pro. Guess what happened? Even those who joined teams mostly washed out."
Her voice rose a bit.
Right after VR launched, everyone wanted in. Teams scooped up prospects—more the merrier.
But less than 1% made first-team pro. Most got cut, hit reality's wall, quit midway.
"Not about skill. Pros live off attention from crowds, collaborate with others. Can you handle the mental grind?"
And pros were like entertainers. Skill mattered, but they sold image too. Had to draw fans.
"…I get why you're worried, sis. But listen."
Siwoo paused. His eyes lingered on her hands. Rough knuckles, factory oil and balm over cosmetics.
Proof she'd ground her youth to send him to med school.
"You want me in med school to live easy. But studying alone comfortably? That's hell for me. You call me a genius. Top in math, science. Trust my judgment too. This contract's the fastest way out of our swamp for our family."
Just interest on the housing loan and utilities: about 2.2 million won.
Siwoo knew. He'd seen the ledger.
"…Money comes and goes. We're tough now, but improving. No need to rush for cash."
Lee Siyeon met his eyes, smiling faintly.
"I don't want you going pro. Unlike me, take your time building specs for a stable job. No rushing into work."
When Mom got cancer, Siyeon jumped into the job market with just a degree, no prep. Naturally, a crap company.
But what choice? Hospital and living costs now.
So she wanted different for Siwoo. Plan a future, not job for money.
Choose, not settle.
Siwoo pulled out his smartphone. Showed team offers.
"Not emotional. This salary covers Mom's bills and our housing loan at once. Ten years to specialist beats three years efficiency for us."
Big sis went quiet, staring at the phone.
"…What kinda money is this?"
Her eyes went wide.