The Thirty-Sixth Assignment — A Daydream of Mortal Affairs ⑥
"Uh, that's..."
She'd struck the bullseye. Caught with his most private feelings laid bare, Changmo found his tongue tying itself in knots, his thoughts scrambling after it. Yuhwa seized the opening and pressed on. For the first time since they'd started working together, she was speaking to him with genuine sincerity — not a trace of irritation in it.
"Give me a real answer. A guy smarter than me couldn't possibly not know. Right?"
That was as far as the verbal interrogation went. After that, they settled it with a staring contest. Even dulled by drink, her gaze remained sharp and relentless. For Changmo, it had always been a pressure he could barely withstand.
"Well... yes. That's right."
So he admitted it. It was a relief and an embarrassment all at once. Getting caught changing clothes would have been less mortifying than this. Fortunately for him, Yuhwa neither teased nor scolded. Instead, she spoke in a surprisingly gentle, quiet voice.
"I figured as much. I told you earlier, didn't I? When it comes to this kind of problem, we're two of a kind."
"Then you could've just said so. You didn't need to make such a production of it. Doesn't seem like you, Noona."
"You think this is easy for me? I can't just say it straight either — that's why I'm doing it this way. If you're the junior, try understanding your senior's troubles for once. Aigoo, tsk tsk!"
The reason Yuhwa was talking like this after drinking herself into a stupor was simple.
She didn't have the courage to say it sober.
Changmo wasn't the only one hiding his heart. If anything, she had him beat. Fellow sufferers, in a word. Heukchi's insight had proven right once again. Changmo wiped the unease from his face and listened earnestly to Yuhwa's rambling.
"Lately I could just about lose my mind. That brat of a youngest — still wet behind the ears — already rubbing it in that he's got a girlfriend. And the girlfriend acts like being his girl gives her the right to stick her nose in our work. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if she glued herself to him even after they get to the Underworld."
"Wouldn't they get separated a bit in the Underworld? Yeoni's one thing, but Dayeong is technically a guest. I doubt they'd recruit her as a postal worker too."
Yuhwa clicked her tongue the moment she heard that. If it were that simple, she wouldn't be wracking her brains over it. Clouds gathered on her face as she grumbled, her lips twitching restlessly.
"Sure, if our post office had people to spare. But we don't. We'll still be short-staffed by the time those two arrive in the Underworld. And there's no way the Director would pass up a chance to pull in two more."
"Hrm."
"Aish! We went completely off-track. Let's get back to solving your problem."
She slapped her own cheek hard. The intent was to shake off the alcohol, but her face stayed red for an entirely different reason. Yuhwa cleared her throat repeatedly, trying to reset the mood. First things first: Changmo's dilemma.
"What was it you said you fell for about that girl?"
"Her eyes. I'd never seen eyes that clear, except for Yeoni's."
"Then once she comes to the Underworld later, she might even get a chance to become a Grim Reaper. From what you've told me, she's got a good personality and she's a decent person."
Huh?
Changmo's face went blank with disbelief. This was supposed to be dating advice — what did the Underworld and Grim Reapers have to do with anything? She'd told him he was thinking too short-term, but Yuhwa herself was looking way too far ahead. He asked, his voice drained of energy.
"Noona. We are doing dating counseling, right?"
"We are, so keep listening. This isn't going off-track this time."
Yuhwa wagged a finger in front of his face. Conviction shone through her flushed cheeks. She kept hiccuping, but her advice continued in that same quiet, measured tone.
"The point of what I'm saying is — hic! — you don't have to wrap it all up in the short term. You've got plenty of time, don't you? If the letter made her depressed, wait for her. When she seems to have recovered, go to her again and hold her close. Keep doing that, and slowly make her yours."
"Isn't that a little too leisurely? I'm not some idle playboy."
"I already told you. You'll have plenty of chances to see her. If it comes down to it, apply for a long-term dispatch. Thinking you can't do it just because you're a Grim Reaper, without even trying — that's a bad way to think. You've got to overcome constraints like that if you want to win love at all."
He was starting to wonder whether this was advice for him or for herself. Even so, the sincerity with which she was comforting her junior never wavered. Changmo knew that, so he didn't press the point. Yuhwa even snorted, driving the nail in.
"Hmph! The youngest doesn't treat the mortal realm and the Underworld as all that different, so why should we? As long as we don't cross the line too far, we can handle things ourselves. If dating itself were a problem, the Director would've chewed us out. He didn't, did he? That means how we go about it is up to us."
"..."
"Think long-term. Really long-term. Not just in the mortal realm — expect it to go all the way to the Underworld. Being Grim Reapers, we've been treating the living world like some other dimension. The youngest made me realize that."
A hint of loneliness even crept into those last words.
Death and life. There was, without question, an enormous difference between them. Grim Reapers were beings who guided souls and felt that difference viscerally. But now they were working as postal workers — as beings who connected the two.
It was time to start thinking differently, the way the youngest did.
That was what Yuhwa was saying.
"Alright! That's the end of my advice. Did it help?"
Having finished her weighty counsel, Yuhwa went right back to beaming. The alcohol she'd been holding down with seriousness seemed to be bubbling back up. Changmo snorted a laugh, but for once, he felt genuine gratitude toward her. Senior and junior who'd never quite seen eye to eye, for decades.
At last, they were talking like a proper senior and junior.
"Well. Honestly, I don't know. Just hearing you say it doesn't mean it clicks right away."
Changmo laid out his difficulty honestly. As always, a single day's conversation wasn't going to solve it. It would take effort and trial and error, the way it always did. Yuhwa knew that too. Even so, she spoke up actively for this junior of hers who'd fallen in love.
"So try. Not by someone else's standards — as much as you yourself want. And if it's still hard after that, at least giving up will feel clean. Wouldn't it be a shame to fold after just a few days, a few weeks? You've got a Grim Reaper's pride, don't you?"
"I've been getting this feeling for a while now — this is your story too, isn't it, Noona?"
Changmo answered with a laugh, giving Yuhwa's true feelings a little poke. No matter how he looked at it, she seemed to be talking about her own feelings regarding Yeoni. Yuhwa paused for a moment, then silently picked up a beer bottle. She poured it full and held it out to Changmo. Flustered, he said:
"N-Noona? Why the drink all of a sudden...?"
"What do you mean, 'why.' You got the right answer, so this is your prize. We've still got a few bottles left, so let's drain them all."
...Oh, for crying out loud.
A cold sweat ran down his back. She called it a prize, but it was painfully obvious she was giving it to him for poking her temper. That persistent look urging him to drink said it all. Refusing would only bring it back twice as hard, so Changmo took the glass with a grimace of resignation.
"That's too much, Noona."
"Look on the bright side. We're finally talking with our hearts open — you think I can do that with a bored mouth? Forget about work worries today and let's drink!"
Yuhwa's energy had shot through the roof. This was a one-hundred-percent chance of drunken antics. Getting through tonight in one piece was a lost cause. Changmo had no choice but to follow her lead, knocking back his glass with gusto. The drink he so rarely had burned pleasantly down his throat.
Yeoni can handle the cleanup tomorrow, I guess.
It was a thought of breathtaking irresponsibility.
The next day.
"Ah, my head..."
Yeoni, who'd come to the Earth Outpost out of worry, promptly flung that worry to the far side of the planet and blew his top.
A spectacle. If you had to sum it up in one word, that was it. Beer bottles formed a heap off to one side, and a vicious smell of alcohol throbbed through the living room. The two seniors lay sleeping among the bottles and snack plates. The way they smacked their lips in their sleep was infuriating beyond words.
"I can't drink anymore. Ugh..."
"That Yeoni brat — I'm definitely snatching him up later. Eheheh!"
It was a miracle they hadn't fried up mung-bean pancakes. Had the worry been that agonizing? He'd wanted to be understanding, but from the position of the one who had to clean this up, the stress was piling high. Yeoni woke them in a tone he was trying very hard to keep gentle.
"That's enough, get up. If you drank, you need to clean up. Leave it like this and we'll get complaints about the smell. Okay?"
"Gotcha! Heehee."
The response he got was a cling. The moment she heard that welcome voice, Yuhwa latched onto Yeoni's ankle like a ghost. Changmo followed, grabbing the other ankle. His drunken antics were nothing to sneeze at either.
"You cheapskate... dating all easy by yourself. This hyung needs some real help too. Sob sob."
The fake crying was reaching new heights of absurdity. Something in Yeoni's head went snap. He quietly bent at the waist, bringing his mouth close to both of their heads. Then he drew in the deepest breath he could.
What followed was a roar that wouldn't have shamed a wild beast.
That the startled Grim Reapers scrambled up and prostrated themselves in apology was a very minor footnote.
He spent one day on the hangover and getting his thoughts in order, then set the last day as a delivery day. He already knew the home address inside and out, so the delivery itself was easy. Leaving the moonlit night behind him, he arrived at Seri's house. His heart was pounding, for some reason.
So this is Seri's place.
A studio apartment no different from any other college student's. But the faint fragrance lingering in the air, and that upright, honest energy — those were unmistakably Seri's. Changmo held back the flush rising to his face and slowly approached her.
"Mmh."
Whether she sensed his arrival or not, Seri stirred in the bed. Changmo smiled softly and drew the letter from his coat. A letter that surely held an earnest story — one that would scatter her sweet dreams for a while. But Changmo hesitated no longer. He laid the letter by her pillow.
Just leaving like this feels a little incomplete, though.
He hesitated a moment. Smacking his lips, he drew closer to Seri. Even without those clear eyes visible, she looked lovely. The corners of Changmo's mouth curved of their own accord.
Sleep well, miss.
He lightly pressed his lips to her forehead. He'd wanted to kiss her cheek, or her lips — but he let that go. That, he promised himself, would wait for when the two of them were properly, passionately together. The cool aura of a Grim Reaper soothed her forehead. Seri flinched once more.
Having soothed his regret with that, Changmo stepped out through the window. He touched his lips several times. Even in spirit form, the sensation lingered vividly. So this was why the youngest was so fond of physical affection.
I'll have to ask him to teach me this too, later.
One more thing he wanted to ask Yeoni had just been added to the list.
Several days had passed since then.
After the letter was delivered, Seri held back from contacting him, just as expected. That much had gone according to Changmo's predictions. But after that, things unfolded as Yuhwa had advised. They'd gone awkward for well over a week — but in the end, she reached out again.
Seri, reaching out again, was the same as before. Her voice seemed a little weaker, but that pine-tree steadfastness was unchanged. He was relieved. Without showing it, Changmo answered cheerfully.
"I'd love that! Um... Sunday would be better than Saturday for me. How about Sunday?"
He drew an X over Saturday. That was the day the "official" dispatch period ended. Before that day arrived, he had to settle things with Heukchi, one way or another. Only then could he keep seeing Seri. The hand writing down the schedule grew firm.
After greeting her in a bright tone, Changmo pulled out a different phone. The direct line to Heukchi. He drew a deep breath. Beside him, Yeoni patted his back.
"You've got this. What's the worst that happens — you get chewed out?"
"That's because you've never seen the Director angry. He's terrifying. Ugh! Just thinking about it makes me shake."
"If it comes to that, I'll get chewed out with you. Tell him I put you up to it."
"That's actually pretty reassuring. Fine. We've decided, so we might as well go through with it."
It wouldn't be easy. He knew the Director well enough to be certain of that. But as Yuhwa had said, giving up was something you did after you'd tried. Go for it, even if you couldn't swallow it. Even if he got thoroughly chewed out, he would give it his all for the goal.
"This is the Director. What is the matter? There is still time remaining before the dispatch rotation, as I recall."
"I've contacted you regarding that dispatch assignment."
Having spoken, he caught his breath. Tension crept up on him. Changmo grinned for his own sake, then stated his business with more confidence than usual.
"I'd like to extend the dispatch period a little."
A broad smile spread across his face.
As if a decade-old lump in his chest had finally settled, a corner of his heart felt clear.