Bandits
“We’ll reach the official road soon. We should arrive at the Yangtze ferry tomorrow.”
After pushing through endless mountains without any real paths, we were finally about to reach the Yangtze River entrance. Even running day and night with light footwork, it had still taken a full six days to escape the mountains.
In my original world, I never went hiking. Why walk on your own two feet when you can fly? Though by the time I left, the only ones climbing mountains were Awakeners answering monster sighting reports. How could ordinary people possibly climb mountains crawling with monsters and demons?
Anyway, we were told we would need to travel by boat for three or four days. Following the Yangtze eastward and disembarking at Poyang Lake in Jiangxi Province would do it.
The problem was… we had no money.
Our clothes and shoes were indistinguishable from a beggar’s. As expected, Chinese people have merchant blood flowing thick in their veins. These bastards are capitalists down to their bones. This tendency is a traditional culture handed down since ancient times. Did I really think begging for a little consideration from people like that would get us a free boat ride?
It probably wouldn’t work at all.
If we didn’t take the river, we’d have to take a long detour over land. It would eat up a lot of time, and no one could predict what kind of unknown grand adventure might be waiting for us.
“Mr. Cheon, what are we going to do about the boat fare? The people of the Central Plains are famous for their cold hearts. Don’t you have some kind of plan?”
Thousand Poison Old Man’s face darkened as he sank into deep thought.
“…If that doesn’t work, we can just threaten them with martial arts…”
“What? This uncle steps back into the secular world and immediately tries to commit a heaven-rending crime?”
I turned my head toward where Gapjil Jijon was standing.
“Gapjil old man, don’t you have any ideas?”
Gapjil Jijon stared at me sullenly before rubbing his forehead with one hand.
“My head hurts after getting assaulted by some prostitute-like wench. I won’t say who. So nothing comes to mind.”
“Yes, understood. Then please don’t say anything.”
“Hey, you conscienceless bitch! You hit an elder and feel no guilt at all?!”
He was still sulking over a single light tap on the forehead this morning. How could anyone use a person like that?
I ignored Gapjil Jijon as he grumbled and shook his head from side to side.
Come to think of it, was that even my fault? It was Gapjil Jijon’s fault for sleeping while supposed to be on night watch. If I had been lightly hit for the same mistake, I wouldn’t hold a grudge like this.
‘…No. I’m not some petty criminal like Gapjil Jijon! I’m a great hero! So of course I wouldn’t be able to endure being hit.’
The situations were completely different. Obviously.
As I walked, a new concern regarding the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art occurred to me.
The Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art was a divine technique that accumulated more internal energy the more the body moved. If we hadn’t been fleeing so desperately, I might never have noticed.
If I hadn’t known, I would have continued doing nothing but seated meditation and energy circulation.
The problem was that while the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art responded vigorously to moving muscles, the internal energy of the Dark Heaven-Defying Scripture crouching in my head—what they called the ‘upper dantian’ here—didn’t stir at all.
It seemed the Dark Heaven-Defying Scripture would only react to the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art when I assumed the proper circulation posture and consciously focused on the upper dantian.
Nothing could ever be simple.
‘Why is surviving in this world so damn hard…’
We had slowed our pace while walking down the official road, both to discuss our plans and to rest our muscles.
Money was the problem no matter where you went.
‘Should I turn to banditry? No. Then how would I be any different from those demon heads?’
I wondered if money might rain down from the sky…
Then, as if answering my thoughts, a real ‘money line’ descended before us as we walked in silence.
RUSTLE!
The bushes shook, and five fierce-looking men burst out from both sides to block our path.
The one in front, sporting a messy beard and a knife scar across his face, drew his sword and pointed it at us.
“We are the heroes of the Blue Moon Stockade! Hand over everything you have and we’ll spare your lives!”
We stared at the fierce men with blank expressions.
“Mr. Cheon, those are bandits, right?”
“…It certainly looks that way. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen any.”
“Wait, the first person you see after coming out is a bandit? Is public security in the Central Plains really this bad?”
“Hmm, I suppose it is. In my prime, no bandit dared appear before me, so I never noticed… but it seems rather serious.”
At that moment, Gapjil Jijon’s eyes flashed as he stepped forward.
“Poison brat, prostitute wench. I’ll handle this. You two stay out of it. It’s been so long since I last tasted slaughter.”
“Hey, Gapjil old man! Why are you so eager to disregard human life?”
I stopped him with a serious expression.
“Human lives are precious. How can you say something like that so casually?”
As we bickered back and forth like a comedy routine, the bandits watching us seemed to have lost their patience.
“Have you all gone mad?! How dare you make such a racket in front of us!”
‘Wow, that guy’s voice could wake the dead.’
One of the bandit underlings whispered to the one who had just shouted.
“Second Boss, their clothes are no better than beggars’. What could we possibly get from them? Besides, the way they’re acting, they’re clearly insane.”
The one with the dirty beard and the knife scar on his face—the guy who might as well have a sign saying ‘I am the Second Boss’—clicked his tongue.
“Duk-chi, you still have a lot to learn. So what if they’re beggars? Look at the face of the woman in the middle.”
At those words, the shabby middle-aged man called Duk-chi stared intently at my face and gasped.
“Huk! Isn’t that a heavenly fairy?!”
“Exactly. Her beauty is truly remarkable. If we sell her to a brothel, we’ll make a fortune.”
“But… she’s so beautiful… is that really okay?”
“You spineless fool! A true man must be able to sell even the greatest beauty if he cannot possess her himself!”
At the Second Boss’s roar, the one called Duk-chi shrank his shoulders like a turtle.
“But… what if the Boss ruins the fairy while playing with her? The merchandise will lose a lot of value.”
“Hmm… that can’t be helped.”
Suddenly the Second Boss smiled lewdly and licked his lips.
“If the Boss plays with her and gets tired of her, it might be our turn. Even if we can’t make money, embracing a heavenly beauty would still be a good deal, no?”
“Hehehe! That sounds much better! After all, if we sell her to a brothel, the Boss will take all the money anyway, right?”
“Kuhuhu, exactly. So take care of all of them.”
“But what about those two old men? We can take the fairy, but beating the old men will only produce dust.”
The Second Boss looked at Duk-chi as if he were pathetic.
“Obviously we kill them to shut their mouths. How many years have you been eating bandit rice that you even ask such a thing?”
“Aha! As expected, Second Boss is wise!”
…This time it was our turn to stare blankly at the bandits’ performance.
‘Wow, these bastards are really putting on their own show.’
At that moment, a thick vein bulged on Gapjil Jijon’s forehead as he stepped forward furiously.
“These sons of bitches… they dare call the Poison Old Man ‘old man’ so dismissively?!”
“Wait a second, Gapjil old man! There’s a proper order to these things. You can’t just rush in like that.”
This hot-tempered old fossil. I hurriedly held Gapjil Jijon back.
“Order? What order? Are you not angry that they insulted our Poison Old Man?!”
Thousand Poison Old Man cut in with an incredulous look.
“Gapjil brother… they lumped all of us together as ‘old men.’ It wasn’t just me who was insulted…”
“Shut up, Poison! I’ll avenge you!”
‘Ugh, this stubborn old man.’
I quickly stepped in front of Gapjil Jijon before he could charge out.
‘First, I need to gather information.’
“Hey, bandit uncles. I have one question.”
The bandits who had been slowly closing in on us stopped at my sudden question and looked puzzled.
“These crazy bastards dare flap their mouths without fear! Kill all the old men and drag that bitch here to kneel before me!”
“Yes, Second Boss!”
The moment the Second Boss gave the order, the four underlings charged with vicious momentum, weapons raised.
I urgently stretched out my hand to stop them and asked again.
“Wait! Just answer this before you come! What’s your martial arts level? Third-rate? Second-rate? Surely not Peak, right? Just tell me that, quickly!”
“Shut your mouth, you bitch! You’ll soon be crawling between my legs!”
From their reaction, I became certain.
‘…These bastards don’t even understand martial arts terms.’
If they were real martial artists, they would have snorted at my question or answered while releasing their aura. But these guys didn’t even react to the words ‘martial arts level.’ It was proof they were nothing but thugs who relied on brute strength.
‘Good. I can relax.’
Before Gapjil Jijon could charge forward in his rage, I took the lead.
I drew Hyeolbu Mak-ga’s ‘lifelong masterpiece’ that I had been carrying temporarily on my back like a wooden staff.
Its name was the ‘Similar Sword.’ Though shaped like a sword, it was essentially an iron club. I shouted while holding it.
“Eat this!”
I ran forward to meet them.
I had been worried these bandits might be hidden experts, but fortunately they were empty husks. After all, you should at least check the opponent’s level before attacking, right?
They were perfect targets to vent the frustration that had built up during our journey.
“Out of the way, you bitch!”
The Second Boss standing at the rear shouted at his subordinates.
“The woman is merchandise. Beat her just enough!”
The one in front raised his crude blade overhead and brought it down. It was clearly meant to intimidate.
The momentum was fierce, but to my eyes it moved so slowly I could yawn.
‘Slow.’
Compared to the eighty-eight ‘white women’ who had tried to devour me in my dreams, these guys were no faster than crawling snails.
I stepped using the Phantom Butterfly Soul-Bewildering Steps.
One light step, as if a butterfly landing on a flower petal.
His blade sliced through empty air without even grazing my clothes.
He had swung hard just to scare me, but when I instead stepped closer, his face clearly showed panic.
“Uh, uh?”
The moment he lost his balance and staggered, the ‘Similar Sword’ in my hand drove toward his wrist.
THWACK!
“Aaaagh!”
Instead of a sharp blade, the heavy iron club smashed into his wrist bone. He screamed and dropped his sword.
Without hesitation I pulled the weapon back and jabbed the pommel into his solar plexus.
“Kuk!”
His breath caught in his throat. His eyes rolled back as he collapsed.
He wasn’t dead. He would just find breathing difficult for a while.
“Th-this bitch!”
When their comrade fell in an instant, the remaining three charged at me in panic.
Left, right, and front. They tried to imitate a pincer attack, but it was full of holes.
Originally a swift sword that condenses darkness into a spear-like thrust. Modified into a 'poking' strike since the weapon is a club and killing is not the goal.
My hand moved three times with lightning speed. I struck the first man’s shoulder, smashed the second man’s side, and kicked the last man’s shin.
THUD! URK! CRACK!
Dull impact sounds rang out in succession.
“Kuaaaagh!”
“M-my leg!”
Be grateful the blade isn’t sharp. If this had been a real sword, your limbs would already be rolling across the ground by now.
In an instant, two men were writhing on the ground. I approached the last one, who was still standing awkwardly, not yet grasping the situation despite his injured shoulder.
“H-hiiik!”
He shrieked and stumbled backward.
I smiled sweetly and lightly tapped the Similar Sword against my palm.
“Don’t worry. I won’t kill you.”
“R-really… urk!”
Instead of answering, I lightly smacked his cheek with the flat of the Similar Sword.
SLAP!
His head spun around as a few teeth flew through the air. He spun like a top before foaming at the mouth and fainting.
“…Because they have to spit out money.”