Becoming a Wizard (1)

“A minor gallery dedicated to Wizards, a minority class even among Awakeners...?”

That was the description of the gallery linked in the comment.

Looking at the ranking, it was completely off the charts.

Checking the recent posts, it was just a typical circlejerk gallery. The kind of place where fewer than twenty posts were uploaded a day.

It wasn't particularly strange for a gallery like this to exist. After all, half of the galleries out there didn't see a single post for months.

The real question was why that commenter had linked this place.

“Let's check... Ah.”

I was going to ask the guy who left the link, but the post had been completely deleted, probably because the argument had gotten too heated.

Since the person who left that comment was also an anonymous user, there was absolutely no way to ask them directly.

In the end, all that remained was this backwater minor gallery.

Let's just check it out.

Unless they were a total psychopath, they must have recommended this gallery for a reason.

If they really were just crazy, I could always just leave.

At first glance, it just looks like a normal circlejerk gallery... What's the catch?

The posts overall were incredibly mundane. It was the classic circlejerk format, with users openly mentioning fixed nicknames.

If they recommended a place like this, they must be part of this clique. What on earth was their intention?

But they seemed pretty knowledgeable in the comments...

Just in case, I clicked on the 'Recommended Posts' tab.

I checked the posts at the top.

Most of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠them were just typical friendly banter, but one post caught my eye.

A post with an unusually high number of upvotes. And in that moment, the tab caught my eye.

Info.

Just to see what was there, I clicked the tab to bring up all the information posts written in this gallery.

“They actually organized this...? In a place like this...? Who is this guy?”

As the list of posts appeared on the screen, I felt something was off.

And as I clicked on the post as if possessed, my intuition kicked in.

This wasn't ordinary information.

It contained concepts described in some of the academic papers I had read in my past life, back when I was preparing for the off-chance of becoming a wizard.

On top of that, when I checked the author, they were all written by the same person.

Posts like this were just sitting out in the open? Why? And who?

This... they have to be at least an active wizard or their assistant.

Ordinary people have no need to know these things.

Even most Awakeners don't need to read academic papers. They just need to follow whatever instructions the guild or the government gives them.

The chances of them being a pure researcher were also low, considering how they described sensations that only an Awakener could perceive.

Even if they weren't active in the field, it was highly unlikely they were a non-awakened researcher.

Setting that aside, there's a reason this hasn't gotten famous.

Regardless of how useful the information was, it wasn't the kind of post that would go viral.

Fitting for an eccentric who would write in a place like this, the posts were riddled with flaws.

They used highly technical jargon and even wrote down scientific names, making it completely incomprehensible to non-majors.

On top of that, the explanations were written in a way that only Awakeners could understand.

To a non-Awakener, the phrasing could easily be mistaken for the ramblings of a schizophrenic.

And even for an Awakener, the terrible choice of terminology made it impossible to understand unless they knew English and had relevant background knowledge.

While there were plenty of Awakeners who browsed forums,

the probability of an Awakener who was fluent in English and possessed the necessary background knowledge stumbling upon this gallery was extremely low.

No wonder it remained obscure.

People would just dismiss it as nonsense, thinking it was some delusional fanfiction someone had scribbled down.

Unless they were like me—someone who had scoured foreign academic papers to prepare for becoming a wizard—even active professionals wouldn't understand it.

Wait. Didn't the first post say it was a way to check if you can become a wizard?

I immediately went back to the Info tab and clicked on the post I had seen earlier.

.

.

.

.

...Wow, looking at it again, this guy is a seriously trash writer.

How can anyone write like this?

I'm no literary genius myself, but there's always a bigger fish—or in this case, a deeper rock bottom.

I'm absolutely certain I could write better than this.

This crosses the line. It's either written by a foreigner or someone who has never set foot in a school.

They abuse English, the descriptions are garbage, and they don't even keep their terminology consistent.

They used ambiguous phrasing that would be impossible to decipher without a mountain of context.

The funny thing is, the words used there are actual academic terms.

Mysteristatic is the official academic term for mana. Apparently, they chose that because 'mana' was already too much of a common noun.

The real comedy is that I actually understand what he's telling me to do.

Though the sudden English terms—phonetically transliterated into Korean, no less—obstructed my comprehension, I could still grasp the core message.

I knew exactly what he was trying to say.

He was telling me to awaken and manipulate mana.

If you've awakened, anyone can technically drag mana outside their body. The problem is that the vast majority of people can't manipulate it once it's out.

Even in my past life, pulling mana out was something I could do.

That post was explaining exactly that.

'The body naturally acts like an immune system, so it tends to resist the outside.'

Mana remaining inside the body can be controlled freely. But the moment you pull it out, it stops responding to your will.

This is because the moment it contacts the outside, it reacts with the ambient mana in the air and fails to maintain its original properties.

It is no longer purely your own mana, so you lose control.

'However, a rare few with unique constitutions can control it even in that state.'

But ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠as always, there are exceptions. It's similar to an allergy.

Certain bodies, despite the mana already being mixed, find similarities to their internal mana and recognize it as their own.

And then? They can control it just like that.

That is the Wizard constitution.

A qualification determined by whether or not you can control mana that has mingled with the outside.

I didn't know if this body had that unique constitution. Even if it did, I wouldn't be able to find out without knowing the method.

That was why trying what this guy suggested didn't seem like a bad idea.

If it didn't work, I could always just reincarnate again anyway.

'You have to blur the boundary between inside and outside...'

What the post was trying to say was simple.

Even those with a Wizard constitution can't manipulate external mana right away.

Just as a newborn can't control its own body, a wizard is no different.

The reason such a wizard can't control their mana is simply because the mana has changed.

If that was the case, the problem would be solved if my body recognized the external ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠mana as my own. Or if I found a way to manipulate it.

As he suggested, blurring the boundary with the outside was the best method. If this body had the talent of a wizard, it would help.

Let's think of a way. How on earth do I properly blur the boundary?

I thought of several methods, but at my current level, there were only a few I could actually pull off.

I hesitated for a moment, but then I thought, I already jumped off a roof, so what's there to lose?

I decided to just push forward.

It should be... in the kitchen, right?

I headed straight for the sink and rummaged around.

The item I needed was sitting quietly in the cabinet under the sink.

Before picking it up, I checked my right palm. It was just a normal woman's hand, free of any scars.

I closed my eyes and moved mana around it.

It still moved inside my body.

But the moment I pulled it out, it became hard to control. I could control it slightly, but it didn't feel like it was moving according to my intent.

But it was better than my past life. I saw potential.

If I could get the hang of it, this body would be much better.

An awl is hard to find. And there's a risk of tetanus. This is better.

It was fine if I failed with this body.

Even if I couldn't become a wizard with this body, it didn't matter.

As long as I could become a wizard someday, as long as I could learn magic...

Even if I had to roll through hell, I would do it.

I picked up the item I had checked earlier with my left hand.

The item was a paring knife. A knife used for peeling fruit.

I placed my right hand on the cutting board and aimed precisely.

Whew—

To calm my trembling heart, I took a light breath...

Stab—!

“Argh...!?”

I stabbed the sharp paring knife straight into my right hand.

The knife didn't just pierce my palm; it embedded itself slightly into the cutting board.

I lifted my trembling hand, and red blood dripped onto the cutting board.

I managed to slightly miss the bone. I pulled the knife out of my right hand and threw it into the sink.

Even though the source of pain was gone, my hand was still shaking violently.

Ah, shit... that hurts like a motherfucker...

I expected it, but it hurt at least twice as much as I thought. My shaking body was proof of that.

Did I become more sensitive to pain after becoming a woman? I don't think it was this bad when I was a man...

“Ugh...”

But letting pain stop you from doing what needs to be done is un-wizardly behavior.

Why did I pierce my right hand and volunteer to play half-Jesus?

I was executing the advice of a senior who was at least closer to being a wizard than I was.

Blur the boundary. Following those words, I destroyed the skin—the most basic boundary that separates the body from the outside.

A barrier represents protection, but it is also a concept that symbolizes oppression.

You have to tear it down to let the outside world in.

Even while groaning in pain, I closed my eyes and focused my mana on my right hand.

Ugh... mana definitely escapes more easily now.

Of course, since there was a hole in my body, mana leaked out much more easily. Unfortunately, controlling the escaped mana was still a distant prospect.

But without losing heart, I kept channeling mana through my right hand. I repeated this until the surrounding air was completely filled with the mana flowing from my body.

My body didn't show any particular reaction.

But I repeated it.

The mana still wouldn't listen to me.

I waved my arm. The dense mana in the air pushed back into my body through the open hole.

It was mine just a moment ago, but just because it mingled with the outside for a bit, it refused to be treated the same.

I truly realized how difficult it is to become a wizard.

External mana flows inside. Naturally, since there's a hole in my hand.

And the mana that flowed in didn't listen to me. Of course. If it were my mana, it would have listened to me even outside.

So I just let the external mana flow through my body.

I kept letting it.

“...It clotted.”

But blood clots quickly. No matter how much I pierced my palm with a knife, the blood eventually clotted and closed the hole.

The pain remained, but I didn't feel the mana flowing out as easily as before.

If I failed, I could always just try again.

The mana that had entered my body was now mixing with my own mana, returning to a state where it listened to my control.

I tried pulling the mana out once more. A blue shimmer started from my fingertips and spread into the air.

And closing my eyes, I focused my mind on the tip and commanded the mana.

Obey me.

You are my mana.

And... the moment I had that thought, an unknown sensation washed over my hand.

A faint breeze blew, traveling up my hand and into my body.

“Oh...!?”

Extremely faint.

So insignificant it was almost pathetic.

But the mana had definitely responded to my will.

I quickly supported my injured right hand with my other hand.

I tried to move the mana.

As if responding to my will, the mana swirled in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a circle.

It moved.

The mana moved.

The mana responded to my will.

“It... it worked...!”

Like a baby taking its first steps, I stared blankly at the sight of the moving mana.

Even though it was a scene I had watched countless times in videos...

“It worked...!”

Suicide was worth it.

Piercing my palm like Jesus was worth it.

The pain still lingered, but a massive wave of euphoria washed over my entire body, making me completely forget about it.

How many times in life can one feel this level of joy? My life hasn't been that long, so I don't really know.

But one thing is certain: there won't be many moments of such pure ecstasy in my life.

And those feelings gathered, erupting into a shout of an emotion that couldn't be expressed by anything else.

“I'm a wizard now!!!!!”

Today,

I earned the right to become a wizard.