Children's Underwear and a New Hideout
The shackles reminded me of the present reality, and before long, the day of my discharge arrived. Naturally, the date of my discharge was kept strictly secret from the outside world. According to the hospital, they planned to keep up the pretense that I hadn't been discharged for quite some time. Of course, that wasn't something the hospital would do on its own—it was the NIS pulling strings.
I had no belongings to pack. Just my smartphone. The clothes I'd been wearing when I was first brought here were no longer wearable anyway, soaked in blood and already discarded, they said. So I was waiting for Ham Ye-jin to bring me some clothes. I couldn't exactly leave in patient garb.
The door opened, and Ham Ye-jin handed me a paper bag containing the clothes. I took it without thinking, then froze at the sight of the garment on top.
"This is…"
"Underwear."
Right, underwear. During my hospital stay, I'd worn nothing under the patient gown for medical checks, so I hadn't bothered with any. But to step outside, I needed something underneath my clothes. That was just common sense. I'd half-expected it, braced myself to some degree, but this? Ham Ye-jin had bought children's underwear.
I didn't think she'd done it to mess with me. Not because I trusted her, but because if she'd really wanted to screw me over, she'd have picked something humiliating like cartoon panties. This was plain cotton kids' underwear. I'd just never imagined it myself.
Seeing me speechless, Ham Ye-jin muttered by way of explanation.
"…It was the only size that fit. And since your chest is still just budding, a junior bra seemed appropriate…"
"How'd you know the size?"
"The hospital provided it."
Apparently, they'd poked and prodded every inch of me while I slept. The very fact that I had to wear this was stressful enough, but I couldn't go without. How the hell does a lanky giant of a man shrink into a body that fits children's underwear?
With a sigh, I picked up the underwear. Then, glancing at Ham Ye-jin, who was watching me, I said,
"Get out."
She understood immediately and stepped outside. If she'd said something like, "What's the big deal, we're both women?" I wouldn't have held back. Not that I knew what this pathetic body could even do if I snapped.
I shoved aside the self-loathing and focused. The task at hand: putting on underwear. Ridiculous how tense I felt over a scrap of fabric. I stripped off the gown and glared at the children's panties in my hand. Squeezing my eyes shut, I lifted a leg and slid them on. It wasn't my first time wearing panties, but the sensation was alien. The absence between my legs hit me immediately. I'd felt the odd lightness before, but the loose patient gown had dulled it. These clung tight, a constant reminder of what I'd lost, every second I wore them.
Like shackles.
My mood soured instantly. Next came the junior bra. Thankfully, it wasn't some hooked, fiddly contraption like in novels—just slipped right on. If I'd needed Ham Ye-jin's help, it would've been a nightmare. The thought alone made me nauseous.
The rest was ordinary: a plain T-shirt and pants. Thank God no skirt. Well, it should've been obvious. If she'd brought a skirt, I'd have torn it up and made her go back for something else—assuming these hands could even manage it.
The clothes fit perfectly, almost eerily so—not snug, but just a touch loose, ideal. Knowing the hospital and NIS had my exact measurements creeped me out. I got that it was necessary, but emotionally? No dice. Were the hormones already kicking in? Controlling my feelings was getting harder. I took deep breaths to calm down, then pulled out the last item from the bag: a hat. A big one with a long brim to cover my hair. It looked plain but conspicuous in its size. Still, better than flashing white hair everywhere.
"…I'm dressed."
Ham Ye-jin came back in.
"It… suits you well."
I ignored her. As if any grown man would feel good hearing he looked good in kids' clothes.
Anyway, preparations were complete. I followed Ham Ye-jin out the hospital's back door. Thankfully, we made it to the parking lot without running into anyone.
There, she pulled out an imported luxury car—way beyond an NIS agent's salary. Naturally, she took the driver's seat, me the passenger. If we got pulled over looking like this, ID-less as I was, we'd be screwed.
"This is a pricey ride, huh?"
"I'm not sure. It was a gift…"
Who the hell gifts something like this? I'd pegged her as your standard stiff agent, but apparently she was loaded. My nonexistent fondness for Ham Ye-jin dropped further.
She drove cautiously—not unskilled, just naturally careful. Gazing out the window after doffing my hat, I realized we weren't heading to my place.
No way?
Sudden creepy thoughts flooded in: NIS kidnapping me for some lab sale. Lame SF crap, and sci-fi wasn't my genre anyway.
Fortunately, Ham Ye-jin confessed right away.
"We cleared out your house, Mr. Seol-guk. Anything salvageable was moved, and the deed's already under someone else's name."
"What?"
"Reporters had infiltrated the area. We caught them, but some tried breaking in. You'd be swarmed if you went back."
"So where am I supposed to go?"
"We secured a room about thirty minutes from the hospital. It's NIS-managed, so no issues with living there, and not much worse than your old place."
She'd claimed they couldn't help much, but the aftercare was solid. Or so I thought—until she laid out the truth.
"Don't get your hopes up. 'Managed' is a stretch; it's basically abandoned. We meant it as a short-term spot for identity laundering, but things dragged on, so we're lending it to you temporarily. No rent."
"Free?"
"Comes out of support funds."
Stingy bastards, beyond belief. Made my teeth grind.
"The state isn't kind to individuals. But you're in slightly better shape thanks to prior events."
"Prior events?"
"The doctor probably mentioned there are three cases of Sudden Gender Transformation Syndrome in Korea."
"And?"
"There were five originally."
Her words were so blunt, simple, and stark—zero points for literary merit. But that made them easy to grasp. Sealed windows, locked doors: the answer was obvious.
"Now it's four, including you."
I had no interest in some support group. Not info I cared to know. We probably couldn't meet anyway, nor would they want to. Curiosity about how others like me lived? Sure. But that was it—no need for more.
Her luxury car crawled along, taking nearly an hour past the promised thirty minutes. By then, I was already exhausted. Even her slow, safe driving had me carsick. Stumbling out of the passenger seat, Ham Ye-jin steadied me.
"Can you walk?"
"…Of course."
Her tone suggested she'd carry me if I admitted weakness. Death before that—I forced myself onward with sheer bravado.
The place was a small row house, no signs of life inside.
"Use 105."
She led me to the farthest unit. Already beat, and it had to be the deepest one. Panting, we reached it, and she unlocked the doorlock.
"Code's 1224. Change it later."
I collapsed in the entryway the moment we entered. Couldn't walk another step. In the end, she picked me up and deposited me on the living room sofa. Hated being carried, but luggage treatment wasn't great either. Lying there, catching my breath, I started feeling better.
"Sorry, no furniture—we couldn't bring any. Use what's here. But books and personal items are all here."
"NIS privacy protection is impeccable."
Sarcasm about rifling my stuff earned a cough from her.
Glancing around, I spotted things from my old place. Livable, even better in spots than before.
"House is fine."
"Rest first, talk later."
She was right. Too drained for more chat. Sprawled on the sofa, I fell asleep fast.