Chapter 86
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 86
“Kim Jae-yeon, are you sure there’s really nothing?”
[I told you, there isn’t! Seriously, why are you being like this all of a sudden?]
“There’s no way a person is that clean. Did you even try digging?”
[Well, I did dig, but…]
After wiping a few drops of blood off the back of my hand, I put on my mask and stepped out of the Korean restaurant.
I chose the most deserted paths possible as I spoke to Kim Jae-yeon on the phone.
Dammit… I flinched every time a car appeared.
[I heard he gets tons of variety show offers because he eats so much… but he turns them all down.]
“…….”
[…That’s all I’ve got.]
“……I’m going crazy.”
[Ah, I knew you’d react like this, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything.]
…Min Ji-heon is the real deal. He showed it to me himself.
‘A scandal about seeing ghosts? You think that’ll work?’
Even if I exposed that Min Ji-heon had spiritual powers, it wouldn't do much damage. It would be worse for his image to be rumored as a club rat instead.
Perhaps interpreting my silence as annoyance, Kim Jae-yeon spoke up, sounding a bit discouraged.
[I’ll let you know if something comes up. But I can’t give you any guarantees.]
“…Understood. You can go now.”
I hung up immediately and shoved my phone roughly into my pocket. Every time a car passed by, I lowered my head and hurried along. Even when a car sped past on a distant road… the memory of that accident came rushing back, making my breath tight and my hands tremble.
‘My brother……. No, no, forget it.’
I felt an impulse to check on his well-being, but seeing me in this state would only cause him worry. He’s already a guy who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders… he doesn’t need me adding to it.
‘…Let’s just go back. Go back, get some sleep, and then think.’
My thoughts were tangled, and I couldn't process things properly. I kept muttering curses under my breath, only falling silent the moment I stepped into the dorm. Hearing the door open, Kang Yi-chae emerged from his room with his headphones hanging around his neck.
“Oh my, did you come to see this beautiful 20-something rapper?”
“……Yeah.”
“Did the audition go well~?”
Kang Yi-chae was spouting his usual nonsense, but the shock from earlier was so great that I couldn't think of a proper comeback. I tried to brush past him with a vague answer, but Yi-chae stopped and twitched an eyebrow.
“……?”
“…What.”
“What’s this?”
Yi-chae narrowed his eyes and scanned me from head to toe. Just as he was about to say something—
“Why are you breathing so heav—”
HONK!
‘Shit.’
Outside… a horn blared.
“…….”
Wondering if it was an auditory hallucination again, I hid my trembling hands behind my back and tried to fix my expression. Yi-chae took a step and glanced out the window.
Naturally, there was a car outside.
“What’s with that car?”
Yi-chae could see it too.
‘It’s not a hallucination or a phantom sound.’
“Yeah, it’s… it’s a bit noisy.”
“…….”
“…Yeah.”
I tried to speak calmly, but the words wouldn't leave my throat. It was a familiar sensation. A sudden realization hit me: I was screwed.
“Hey, Kang… Kang Yi-chae. Yi-chae.”
And only then did I feel my body spiraling into another fit. I had been fine until a moment ago, but hearing that sound made my fingertips turn white and my breath hitch in my throat. Without even having the chance to see the look on Yi-chae’s face, I gasped for help.
“Wait, just… I, uh….”
“…….”
“You know. That thing….”
A bag. I needed a bag. So I could take a deep breath somehow….
I was so out of it that I didn't even know if I was making sense or who I was talking to.
“Shit…. Fuck….”
The sound of the horn kept piercing through my fingers. It was a sound I had surely heard countless times, but it sounded exactly like the one I heard when I was twenty….
The sound of tires skidding, the sound of hitting the guardrail, the echoing screams…. The scene I had just seen played out again like a panorama.
“…….”
Suddenly, something was thrust in front of my mouth.
As I fumbled with my hands, I heard a rustling sound. It was a plastic bag. Instead of saying thank you, I snatched it away and pressed it to my mouth, repeatedly inhaling and exhaling into the bag.
Slowly, slowly… exhale.
Thinking of what my therapist used to emphasize… deep and calm….
“…Fuck….”
It’s okay, it’s fine….
My heart, which had been racing like crazy, gradually began to settle. I crouched down, clutching the bag as if it were a lifeline, and breathed.
…To be honest, I don’t know how long I stayed like that.
“…….”
By the time I regained my senses, I was alone.
At some point, the curtains had been drawn, the window closed, and the noisy honking had stopped.
The bag had the logo of a convenience store I frequently visited. I stared blankly at the crumpled bag and rubbed the pale back of my hand.
‘It stopped.’
…I felt okay now.
After coming to my senses, the first thing out of my mouth was….
“…Fuck.”
…A curse, as expected.
At the same time, I crumpled the bag I had been holding so tightly and threw it into a corner. I felt like I would go insane if I didn't throw some kind of tantrum.
“Fuck! Dammit! So pathetic…!”
After shouting and huffing like a madman for a while, I buried my face in my hands.
“This, this son of a bitch….”
Right, it didn't matter; staying like this wouldn't change anything.
After taking deep breaths for a long time, I stood up. I trudged into my room and sat on the edge of the bed frame to gather my thoughts.
When a person is pushed to the edge, their thoughts lose balance and scatter in all directions… but now, my clouded mind seemed to be returning to normal.
And then I realized.
‘…Wait, am I screwed right now?’
Kang Yi-chae saw everything.
The moment Kang Yi-chae… shit, the moment he tells the team members about this, I might be finished.
A guy who loses his mind because of hyperventilation? How could they accept a flawed person as a teammate? How could they trust me with anything? I had made such a scene during Shining Star, telling them to trust me….
If this got out, I wouldn't be able to act so boldly anymore. No matter what I did, everyone would surely make a fuss about me going to the hospital.
I….
I didn't have the time or the luxury for that.
Just then, the door suddenly swung open.
Jeong Da-jun, Kim Seong-hyeon, and Kang Yi-chae crowded in… and Jeong Da-jun flopped down next to me, yapping away.
“Ho-yun-hyung! Did you see your brother?”
“Wait, hey, Jeong Da-jun, aren't those my headphones? You said you were borrowing them, but you still haven't given them back.”
“Ehey, Hyung. Between us, what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.”
I watched the noisy members while still half-dazed. Perhaps because they looked the same as always, I didn't feel as anxious or strange as I did before. Jeong Da-jun grinned as he bickered with Kim Seong-hyeon.
“Right, there’s no ‘mine or yours’… only ‘yours is mine.’”
“Hehe, you caught me.”
Jeong Da-jun marveled at the headphones, looking them over, before suddenly turning to Kang Yi-chae.
“Yi-chae-hyung, now that I think about it, why were you talking down there earlier?”
“Ah, you mean that car that was honking?”
Seong Ji-won peeked through the open door and spoke.
“Yi-chae was getting really angry, telling them to stop.”
The members' eyes gathered on Kang Yi-chae, who had been silent. Fearing he would say I was pathetically sprawled in the living room having a meltdown with a plastic bag, I snapped my head up to look at him….
“…No, well~.”
The response was unexpected.
“The neighbors have no manners.”
Kang Yi-chae… played dumb.
“That’s true. It was pretty loud.”
Everyone accepted that explanation casually. Yi-chae remained standing at a crooked angle, not giving me a single glance.
Now that my mind was back, I could figure out the situation.
‘…I guess he’s going to keep it a secret.’
Since I told him before that I lost my parents in a car accident, he must have realized I had trauma after seeing me trembling like that.
It was a kind consideration.
Even though I still felt like crap.
“It’s our day off, what should we do? Should we practice more?”
“Yes, finally! Da-jun has some motivation.”
“Wait…! What did I just say? Practice on a day off?”
“You’ve been brainwashed.”
Since it was such an old wound, I never thought it would affect me again.
I had even rented a van and escaped excitedly before, so how could I have imagined that a car horn would trigger my trauma now?
“…….”
I wiped the cold sweat from my forehead and lay back on the bed.
Honestly, I was exhausted.
Of course I was. I had experienced something bizarre, screamed like a lunatic, and even had a hyperventilation episode….
Jeong Da-jun seemed to have lost interest in the headphones. He tossed them onto the bed, moved to a chair, and started spinning around while hugging the backrest.
“Ho-yun-hyung! Hyung, by the way, when do the results come out?”
“…What results.”
“The results for the first drama audition!”
I had completely forgotten. I let out a sigh and buried my face in my pillow.
“Did you do well? Hyung, you’re perfect for that Lee Jeong-hun role! You’d pass just by showing your face! If you just go there and act the way you do with us, they’ll be like, ‘Oh? This is Lee Jeong-hun! You’re hired!’”
“…….”
“Hey, hey, Da-jun, calm down.”
The other members, noticing my low mood, tried to hold Da-jun back. But Da-jun, who couldn't read the room even if it was handed to him on a silver platter, got even more excited as he spoke.
“If Hyung makes it to the final round, I’m going to go visit and see Min Ji-heon sunbae-nim~!”
Min Ji-heon….
That bastard I wouldn't be satisfied with even if I tore him limb from limb.
“…….”
But I had no strength left. I just sighed without a word and hid my face further. Only then did Da-jun realize something was wrong; he stopped bouncing and went quiet.
“…Da-jun.”
“Ye-yes?”
A voice raspier and sharper than usual escaped my lips. I spoke without even looking at him.
“I’m sorry, but could you leave?”
“…….”
“Hyung is a bit tired.”
Even if I usually spoke harshly, I cared for Da-jun in my own way. Moreover, I was the type to tell someone to get lost, not someone to act so weakly, so Da-jun seemed quite flustered and remained silent. Then, he asked quietly.
“…Did something happen?”
Normally, I would have said something like, ‘If anyone caused trouble, it would be you, not me,’ and ruffled his hair to lighten the mood, but I didn't want to.
No, I didn't have the energy.
Realizing my condition was worse than they thought, the members quickly exchanged glances. They smiled cautiously and pushed Da-jun out of the room.
“Mr. Jeong Da-jun, today is not the day. Out you go, out you go.”
“…Okay.”
“Ho-yun, get some rest~.”
Even though I knew I should go out and lighten the mood, I had no energy to speak or make excuses.
…What would I even say?
That I saw my parents' accident again because of Min Ji-heon’s ability… and my hyperventilation came back?
“I sound like a crazy person….”
Forget it. Let’s just leave it for now. No matter how much I thought of them as younger brothers, they were still four grown men who were essentially strangers. They were simple-minded, so they’d forget soon enough and go back to bouncing around the living room. I sighed and pulled up the blanket.
Creak.
The door opened. Even without opening my eyes, I knew who it was just by the sound of the footsteps.
Thud. Drag.
Yi-chae returned to his chair, but he never asked me things like ‘What’s wrong?’ or ‘Are you okay?’ He just glanced to see if I was still alive and went back to focusing on his composing.
It was only much later that I wiped my face and managed to open my mouth.
“…Thanks.”
“…….”
“You saved my life.”
I tried to crack a simple joke, but Yi-chae said nothing. He kept his eyes fixed on the monitor, waiting for me to continue.
“But how did you know I needed a bag….”
I had fumbled so pathetically for help, yet he somehow understood exactly what I needed. I expected a playful remark to lighten the mood, like saying it’s a common ailment in dramas so he knew how to handle it… but Yi-chae unexpectedly hesitated.
Then, he spoke very carefully.
“…My mom.”
“…….”
“My mom was like that….”
…Unable to offer any response, Yi-chae and I ended the conversation there.
And I knew. We would bury this matter quietly and not tell anyone.
The clicking of the mouse, the melody line leaking slightly through the headphones, and the occasional small talk from the living room filled the silence between us.
.
.
.
After waking up from a long period of unconsciousness.
Ding!
[A quest has arrived.]