Chapter 266
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 266
A chance to start over from the beginning?
"Hey."
Who the hell are you kidding?
"You... you crazy fuck, stop with the bullshit..."
I was supposed to throw away the two years I’d spent suffering to drag The Dawn this far, just to start over from the beginning as a mangdol?
I could do it. It wasn't that it was hard.
But let’s say I did it and regained Seo Ho-jin’s memories. What guarantee was there that they wouldn't just vanish again?
Fury surged to the top of my head at this pathetic nonsense.
I was just about to call Min Ji-heon to help me toss this system window somewhere and end everything when—
[No! No, that’s not what I meant!!! Wait a second!]
The system window spewed out text at a frantic pace, backing away from me as if it were genuinely terrified.
[What I’m talking about is a Partial Reset!]
"......What?"
My hand, which had been reaching for my phone, stopped.
"A Partial Reset?"
The system window crept back toward me, flickering with light.
[Do you think I’m crazy enough to suggest a total reset? I can’t even do that. Well, actually, I could, but it would require an astronomical price.]
[You know by now, Seo Ho-yun. This place is a fabrication, but it’s also real. Naturally, for anything to happen, there needs to be a corresponding process.]
Then, as if for emphasis, large quotation marks appeared on either side of the system window.
[However, in this place, which follows a game format, there is something that fills in for that process: 'Plausibility.' You know what that is, right?]
"......"
Points.
In an instant, everything I had done with points until now flashed through my mind.
A fanfare went off once more.
[As you guessed, it’s points!]
[The harder it is to grant Plausibility in reality, the higher the point cost for the item.]
Why my body ached when I took out a loan.
Why errors occurred when I tried too hard to deviate from the system's intentions.
It was all a matter of Plausibility.
[Actually, Seo Ho-jin was an exceptional existence. He was a character placed here to help the player adapt easily. But to do that, we had to maintain memories that shouldn't have existed, and as a result, it required a massive price.]
Only points could bridge the gap in the distorted settings. When I took out a loan, my body suffered to fill that void. It was the same when I failed or ignored a quest.
The gaps that still couldn't be filled eventually led to an ERROR, and Seo Ho-jin’s memories vanished as a result.
[If you use a Partial Reset, you can revert only specific parts. For example, Seo Ho-jin’s memories. However, even for a tiny portion, the price is high. It’s not just anything; it’s restoring something to a complete state! You’ll need a massive amount of points—so many that the reward points I just gave you won't even come close.]
[And no loans. No more loans are allowed. It was incredibly hard just to recover the system this time. Your body wouldn't be able to handle it, either.]
"My body isn't your concern."
The system window floated around me.
[What do you think?]
"...Are you trying to play me right now?"
I looked back and forth between the window showing my reward points and the reset item.
The moment I realized I could get Seo Ho-jin’s memories back exactly as they were, my mind began to race.
Setting aside whether I believed those words or not.
"Why are you going this far for me?"
There had to be something more.
Usually, I was the one demanding what I needed from it.
But this time, it had stepped forward first to show me an item I needed.
[Because I’m always on your side, Seo Ho-yun.]
The system window stated its reason more specifically, as if it could see my expression.
[My role is to help you safely become a first-tier idol, clear the scenario, and return to your original world. That is why I exist.]
[So, I can’t just stand by and watch you wither away like this. It will take a long time, but this method isn't bad...]
[So, what do you say? Want to start saving up points?]
At the very least, the system window had never lied to me before.
"......"
I stared intently at the text to discern its true intentions when my hand suddenly stung.
I looked down at the dried blood on the back of my hand. It felt as though my nerves, which had been growing dull, were returning to life.
And instead of the lethargy from before, a wave of exhaustion crashed over me.
I finally felt alive.
It was a sensation that only came because I saw a glimmer of hope in regaining Seo Ho-jin’s memories.
[Seo Ho-yun?]
I stood up to wash off the blood, and in the mirror directly in front of me, I saw my pale reflection.
......I looked like absolute shit.
The fact that my mind had crumbled just because my brother lost his memories was still pathetic and unsightly...
There wasn't a single thing I liked about the situation, but I couldn't just collapse here after coming this far.
I couldn't let it end like this.
"You son of a bitch, do I even have a choice?"
When it came to my brother, it wasn't a choice; it was a necessity.
Even if it was a rotten rope, I had to grab it.
I muttered softly as I rubbed the dried blood on my hand.
"...I can't do it without him anyway."
* * *
A Partial Reset.
With that, Seo Ho-jin’s memories could return.
Even though a goal had been set, what I had to do immediately didn't change much.
From the next day, I joined practice again and worked hard for the upcoming comeback.
The members, who had sensed I was unwell, would freak out and come running if I so much as sneezed. If I let out a single groan, they tried to make me lie down immediately.
I could only put up with it so many times.
"Fuck, stop it! Seriously!!"
"Ah... I feel a sense of stability now."
"I really missed Hyung’s swearing!!"
Jeong Da-jun hung onto me with a beaming smile.
In the meantime, there were things I had put off dealing with.
Seo Ho-jin, whom I’d left on bad terms, and Kang Yi-chae, who had witnessed my pathetic state. Those two.
The number of missed calls from Seo Ho-jin on my phone was more than I could count on both hands.
There was a mountain of texts, too.
[Damn Little Brother: Are you ever going to pick up?]
Three days had already passed since that last message.
Right. Unless I was crazy, like the system window said, this guy was still my brother.
Regardless of whether he had his memories, what he looked like, or what his personality was.
That was an unchangeable fact.
The moment I had instinctively pulled my arm away from Seo Ho-jin flashed through my mind at all hours of the day.
I wrote and erased dozens of messages before finally sending just one.
[Me: Sorry lol]
Then, I got into the van to head to the company, habitually plugging in my earphones.
I was staring blankly out the window while listening to music when the phone in my hand vibrated.
It was a reply from Seo Ho-jin.
[Damn Little Brother: You really have a talent for making people angry by disappearing and then just sending a 'sorry.']
[Damn Little Brother: How can a person live like that??]
[Damn Little Brother: Do you have any idea how worried I was????]
This punk, maybe it was because he thought we were the same age, but his tone was becoming increasingly informal.
[Damn Little Brother: But you’re not sick or anything, right?]
Still, thinking about how he must have chosen his words carefully so as not to sound too serious made a chuckle escape me.
[Me: Mind your own business.]
[Damn Little Brother: Your personality is seriously something else.]
By the time a few more texts arrived, the van had finished parking at the company.
I talked with the road manager about what time we’d head back to the dorm and then made my way to Kang Yi-chae’s studio.
Naturally, I opened the closed studio door and walked right in.
"Kang Yi-chae!"
Kang Yi-chae, who was wearing his headset haphazardly, looked startled.
"W-what? Hyung, why are you here?"
I strode over and gripped the armrests of the chair he was sitting in with both hands, trapping him.
"Hyung is sorry."
"......Huh?"
Then, I brushed back the bangs that had fallen slightly over his smooth, round forehead and spoke tenderly.
"You went through a lot for me this time, too. I’m sorry for making you clean up after me every time I’m a mess."
I didn't know the details, but I knew there was some history there, so it weighed on me. I was worried I might have triggered his trauma.
Kang Yi-chae just stared at me, still looking flustered.
"Our Yi-chae, you’re not hurting anywhere, are you?"
"Our... Yi-chae?"
I grabbed his face and looked him over as he stared back in horror.
Seeing his smooth, fresh skin, he seemed much better off than me, which was a relief.
'Good.'
I changed my expression, curving my eyes as much as possible and softening my lips into a smile. It was my trademark expression, the one that automatically inspired trust.
Now that the aftercare for my fellow group member was done, it was time to get to the main point.
"Yi-chae, as you know, Hyung’s body is a bit frail."
"......Excuse me?"
Kang Yi-chae’s eyes narrowed. He had seen my medical records and heard the doctor say I was so healthy I could practically fly.
His look clearly asked what kind of scheme I was pulling now.
But once you start something, you have to see it through.
"So occasionally—very occasionally—I might get sick."
The system window said no more loans, but you never knew what might happen in life.
I had to become a first-tier idol no matter what, I had to regain Seo Ho-jin’s memories, and I had to take care of these rabbit-like members I’d finally admitted to caring about.
To do all that, my current way of doing things wouldn't work.
I couldn't keep hiding everything forever.
So, I decided to be a bit shameless.
Especially toward Kang Yi-chae.
He was the one who always told people to lean on those around them, and he was sensitive about people being sick. Plus, he had witnessed most of my bad states.
"If similar things happen in the future—"
I had only said that much, but Kang Yi-chae, catching my drift, looked at me with an incredulous expression.
"—You want me to clean up after you?"
"That’s our Yi-chae. So smart."
"Are you crazy?"
"You’re the only one I can trust."
Kang Yi-chae pushed me back and let out a deep sigh.
"...I really hate you sometimes, Hyung."
Doesn't that answer actually mean you like me even more?
As expected, age doesn't lie; he still had a naive side.
"Sure, I bet you do."
"......"
With a slightly fed-up face, Kang Yi-chae unwrapped a candy from the stash he always kept and popped it into his mouth.
"Hyung, you’re seriously shameless and annoying. Everyone in the group agreed. Oh, except Ji-won Hyung."
"Really?"
"What on earth did you do to Ji-won Hyung?"
I don't know either.
I was a bit curious about what kind of rose-colored glasses Seong Ji-won was wearing, but I let it slide for now.
Kang Yi-chae grumbled with a deep frown.
"I wish Hyung could experience some role reversal. I should cough up blood and have a mental breakdown once so you can understand how I feel. People who cause trouble never understand the hearts of us rabbit-like members."
Instead of replying, I just shrugged, and he stared intently at my face.
"......But the absolute worst part is that I keep worrying about you anyway."
Clicking his tongue softly, he pulled a small box from a drawer in the corner of the studio and held it out to me.
"Hyung, you still look like you’re on the edge. Fans sent this through the company, and I checked it just in case. You should take a look later, too."
.
.
.
Leaving Kang Yi-chae to resume his work, I returned to the dorm carrying the small box he’d given me.
It seemed the other members hadn't returned from the practice room yet.
In the past, the constant noise had felt foreign, but now the silence felt awkward instead.
While I was at Daepasung, I had stopped by the legal team.
They were already proceeding with several lawsuits. Thanks to that, many photos of Seo Ho-jin seemed to have been deleted.
They told me they would handle everything without leniency.
It was a relief that the situation seemed to be getting sorted out.
I checked later and saw that Ju Woo-seong had also contacted me.
[Ju Woo-seong: Hey]
[Ju Woo-seong: These are the methods I used when my sister’s photos and personal info got leaked]
[Ju Woo-seong: Use them for reference]
It was a long list of things I already knew.
I chuckled and sent a reply.
[Me: Mind your own business.]
[Ju Woo-seong: ㅗ]
This kind-hearted sucker.
I’m genuinely worried he’ll end up co-signing a loan for someone one day. It was a talent, making me worry like this.
I took off my coat, hung it up, sat on the bed, and opened the box.
Inside was a mountain of letters from fans.
[...Ho-yun, you are so handsome and beautiful, it’s amazing that such a human can exist in this world...]
[...How can even your name be Seo Ho-yun?!...]
[...My little dancing machine Seo Ho-yun... a definitive center... and a face genius...]
I smiled slightly as I flipped through the letters overflowing with affection, when one particularly long letter caught my eye.
The heavy pressure of the pen suggested a lot of thought had gone into it.
[Ho-yun, hello!!]
It started with a light greeting like the other letters.
It mentioned how she was worried about what to write since this was her first time writing such a letter, how her heart was fluttering because it was her first time liking someone this much, and asked for understanding if she seemed clumsy.
Stories like that followed.
[...—I’ve never wished for someone else’s happiness more than my own, but my mind changed after seeing you.
To feel these emotions for an idol I’ve only seen a few times in person, and to have my own values change...
At first, I was embarrassed and brushed it off as a joke, but now I can’t do that, so my friends tease me every time.
But I’m not ashamed at all. You’ve become a huge presence in my life before I knew it.]
As I read through the calmly written sentences, I gradually became absorbed in the letter’s content.
[Whenever I see you, I can feel how fiercely you’ve lived.
But sometimes, I want you to know. A person can’t always be running.
You can’t spend every single day filled with love.
Sometimes it’ll be hard, you’ll want to swear, and things will be difficult.
But even if you don’t want it to, the next day always comes.
Sometimes it’s so hard it’s unbearable, and sometimes it’s okay, but really occasionally, I find myself looking forward to the sun rising again.]
It seemed to be carefully and indirectly expressing my recent situation.
The corners of my mouth tightened slightly.
[I wish for your life to be consistently happy, but I know that can’t be.
Since I’m just a stranger, I can’t know how you feel in those moments. I can only guess.
Still, no matter where you are or what you do, I hope your days are always full of joy.
I will always be in the same place, believing in you and cheering for you.]
At the end, in neat handwriting that looked as if it had been written step by step, she wished for my happiness.
[I hope you can find joy in a sudden cool breeze, laugh easily at silly jokes, and have days where you feel glad to have met such a 'today.'
Whichever path you take, I hope it’s filled with green fields and flowers.
And may the road be overflowing with love.
To our beloved Ho-yun,
From Noeul, cheering for you from a little distance away.]
I stroked the letter with my fingertips and read it again slowly, savoring every word.
Goodwill toward me was dripping from every single character.
At the same time, I felt like I knew why Kang Yi-chae had collected these letters and given them to me.
As he often said, he wanted to let me know this way that I wasn't alone.
That there were this many people worrying about me and liking me.
It was a strange feeling.
To me, idol activities were merely a means to return to my original world.
But before I knew it, both The Dawn and Noeul had become precious to me.
They were the ones who gave me comfort when I was struggling.
However, I wasn't confident I could repay them.
"That’s a shame..."
It might be a bit of a trashy thought, but wouldn't it be okay since even this fan would forget me once all the scenarios were over and the quests were finished?
"You should like someone better than me."
I carefully organized the letters and tucked them into my drawer.
Faint moonlight filtered through the window into the room.
As Kang Yi-chae said, I still didn't feel particularly pleasant.
My brother’s personal information had been spread nationwide, and he’d even lost his memories.
When I thought about the future I had to navigate alone, I felt suffocated.
But I couldn't just sit around like an idiot.
Because, like the letter said, the next day would come even if I didn't want it to.
"Shall I try to finish this within the year?"
Dawn was approaching.