Chapter 132
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 132
“Did you talk to Senior Yun Hee-eon?”
For a moment, I was at a loss for words.
I thought the timing was right, but…
To hide my fluttering eyelashes, I raised a hand and rubbed the bridge of my nose.
Was it Kang Yi-chae?
No. He wasn't the type to stop someone from talking to Seong Ji-won only to bring it up behind their back later. It was more likely that Ji-won had simply figured it out on his own.
I lowered my gaze and brushed the accumulating snow off my head.
“How did you know?”
“After the year-end stage, you said you were going to the bathroom, and Yi-chae went to find you. When you two came back together, things were a bit awkward for a while.”
With a faint chuckle, he added, “And you’d change the channel whenever Senior Yun Hee-eon came on…”
“But lately, you’ve seemed to be in a better mood.”
When I looked up at his question, I saw my reflection in Seong Ji-won’s eyes. I subtly averted my gaze and stroked my chin.
“……Do you really want to know?”
“…….”
The brief silence felt long.
Under Seong Ji-won’s steady gaze, a cold sweat seemed to trickle down my back despite the freezing weather.
I felt a bit pathetic for asking back, knowing full well I had no intention of telling him even if he said yes, yet unable to bring myself to back down.
“…Well, no. I trust you.”
Seong Ji-won blinked a few times, then brushed the snow off the bench and sat down.
“I mean, it’s not like it would be anything bad for us anyway.”
“That…”
“Right?”
“……Right.”
Looking at the big picture, he wasn't wrong.
I knew it wouldn't work on my members at all, but I poured my soul into a harmless, innocent-looking expression.
Seong Ji-won didn't say much; he just let out a soft chuckle and looked up at the sky.
A short distance away, the youngest members were bickering and yapping at each other as usual.
“Caught again, I guess.”
“…….”
“I really can’t hide anything from you.”
Seong Ji-won turned his gaze back to meet mine. After a brief pause, he spoke again.
“…I’m sorry about before.”
By "before," he probably meant the time he tried to answer a call from a sasaeng while we were out in the provinces.
“Yeah, you almost did something crazy.”
“Ahaha.”
When I spoke the truth wrapped in a joking tone, Seong Ji-won laughed out loud.
I felt confident that I knew exactly what kind of guy Seong Ji-won was.
Diligent, hardworking, meticulous, and occasionally soft-hearted.
Plus, the firm side of him I’d recently added to his profile.
But he wanted to know something so badly he’d even go through a sasaeng?
Was he insane?
That was the kind of mindset I’d usually have.
“—There’s someone I’m looking for.”
At that moment, Seong Ji-won’s words rang clearly in my ears.
“They helped me when I was going through a hard time, so I wanted to find them no matter what. It happened back when I was a trainee at D.go. That sasaeng has been following me since then, so I thought she might know something.”
…Wait.
Perhaps misinterpreting my reaction, Seong Ji-won’s voice grew smaller.
“…That’s why I was debating whether to pick up or not. I’m sorry it’s such a letdown after all that hesitation.”
Wait!!
“Thinking back, it was pretty stupid…”
While Seong Ji-won fidgeted under my gaze, I was actually struggling to suppress a surge of excitement.
Holy crap, that’s definitely me!
However, I had no memory of helping Seong Ji-won.
“It’s a pretty painful memory for me… and I didn’t really want to tell you about this kind of stuff, so it wasn't easy to bring up….”
But considering how the scenario had progressed so far, it was one hundred percent me.
Kim Seong-hyeon? I’d helped him. Jeong Da-jun? Same thing. Given the flow, there was no way the person who helped Seong Ji-won in the past could be anyone else.
Whether I did a front flip, a backflip, or watched it pass by from a high-speed train, my gut told me this was about me.
What, so that’s what it was?
I’d been unable to grasp what Seong Ji-won was thinking lately, but the Main Scenario had suddenly popped up out of nowhere.
“…When?”
“Right before I left my previous agency.”
When I asked cautiously, Seong Ji-won spoke while clasping his hands together.
What was I doing back then?
To be honest, I didn't remember well.
It was definitely the System’s doing rather than a problem with my own memory.
Until the Main Scenario began, my memories were tightly sealed. Once a certain threshold was reached, only fragments of video, filled with noise like an old television, would flicker into my mind.
In other words, until the System Window unlocked the memory, I couldn't know exactly what I had done.
I decided to make good use of this opportunity.
“Seong Ji-won.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to ask exactly three things.”
I really hated it when Min Ji-heon said Koreans do everything in threes, but he was right. Koreans really do love the number three.
“Is it someone who works at a broadcasting station?”
“Oh, right.”
“Someone who smoked?”
“…Uh-huh! Yeah!!”
Seong Ji-won looked at me with an expression as if he’d seen a ghost.
I brought out the most important question.
“Was he a total jerk?”
“…….”
“…….”
“…Ho-yun, that’s a bit much. He’s someone I’m grateful to. Let’s watch our language.”
…Now I’m annoyed.
It’s definitely me, so why is he drawing a line with me?
Seong Ji-won had been nodding enthusiastically until a moment ago, but upon hearing that last question, his expression instantly shifted to one that asked what kind of nonsense I was talking.
“His way of speaking might have been a bit rough, but looking back, everything he said was right. And he was a really cool person.”
“…….”
Rough but cool.
Isn't that me?
The more I hear, the more it sounds like me.
No matter how I looked at it, it was ob-vi-ous-ly me, so it was irritating to see Seong Ji-won get so defensive.
Besides, there was something else that felt truly unfair.
“You…”
“Yeah?”
Did you really give me such a hard time just to find a guy like that?!
I still couldn't forget how Seong Ji-won had turned pale and trembled before the showcase.
That was why I had chosen to be considerate and step back in my own way, so he wouldn't get hurt further.
Fine, let’s say he wanted to find the person who helped him.
But so what? Just to find someone like me?
“Why is he so important?”
“Huh?”
“From what I hear, he works at a station and smokes like a chimney—he’s bound to be a rude, unprincipled jerk! What’s so great about him?”
I felt like I was spitting on my own face.
I had a lot I wanted to say, but I held it in. I didn't know what Seong Ji-won would think if I let it all out. Seong Ji-won stared at me and spoke.
“Seo Ho-yun.”
His face went serious.
“Are you trying to pick a fight right now?”
“…….”
This guy might be kind, but he definitely wasn't a pushover….
I felt like I’d been stabbed in the back by the Seong Ji-won I’d trusted so much, and a sigh rose to the back of my throat.
“But how did you know he worked at a station and smoked?”
As I wiped my face with my cold hands to cool my flushed skin, Seong Ji-won asked with narrowed eyes.
Because it’s me….
“I just guessed….”
“Hmm.”
“I figured if it was when you were a trainee, there was a high chance it was someone in the industry. And lots of people who work at stations smoke.”
I scrambled to put together that nonsensical excuse, but Seong Ji-won just gave me a brief look before turning away.
I pressed my palms against my eyes and swept my hair back.
“…Why didn't you tell me?”
“What?”
“With Yun Hee-eon too. If you’d just told me, your hyung, then… you know….”
I’ve carried him so much over the past year.
I spoke honestly to this ungrateful brat who was wandering around looking for me in all the wrong places.
“I could have… handled it for you.”
Maybe he didn't find me reliable.
Or maybe he thought telling me would give me leverage over him.
However, upon hearing my words, Seong Ji-won blinked a few times and then burst out laughing.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Ahaha, Seo Ho-yun, you’re really….”
Even as I watched him with a deadpan expression, he couldn't stop laughing. After a while, he touched the corners of his mouth and spoke.
“About Senior Yun Hee-eon, I didn't hide it for any particular reason.”
“Then why?”
“I was just following my grandmother’s advice.”
What kind of random talk was this now?
I was feeling troubled, but Seong Ji-won seemed to be in a better mood. He gathered the snow on the bench and pressed it into a small, firm ball as he spoke.
“She’s said it since a long time ago. In our line of work, we’re going to hear a lot of bad things. It can wear a person down, but she said that’s exactly when….”
He placed the finished snowball, his fingertips turning red, onto the bench where he sat.
“I should only look at pretty things and only listen to kind words.”
“…….”
“That’s why I did it.”
He began gathering snow again.
“Are you saying you did that because you were afraid I’d hear something bad and get hurt?”
“It sounds strange when you put it that way. Of course, I know you don't care about things like that.”
If you know, then for fuck’s sake….
I swallowed the words that almost jumped out of my throat.
As if sensing what I wanted to say, Seong Ji-won chuckled and pressed down on the snow.
“Anyway, it might just be my own greed, but I want to show only good things and say only pretty words to the people I cherish.”
So, just as he’d said at first, there really was no specific reason why he’d hidden what Yun Hee-eon said.
Seong Ji-won eventually finished a tiny snowman on the bench.
“Well, it feels good to get it off my chest.”
Seeing my stunned expression, Seong Ji-won shrugged, brushed the dust and snow off his hands, and blew on his bright red fingers.
“The snow is falling so beautifully.”
“…….”
“They say it’s been a long time since we had a White Christmas. Four years, maybe…? We’re lucky, aren't we?”
A sub-vocal who looks at the same scene and calls it trash falling from the sky, and a main vocal who is happy because it’s a White Christmas.
At those contrasting sentiments, I was about to cynically ask what was so lucky about it when Seo Ho-jin’s words came to mind.
“Hyung, why do you always have to be so twisted? Why can’t you just say ‘I see’ or ‘thanks’?”
But why should I care?
“…It’d be lucky if money was falling instead of snow.”
Or a hit song, or recognition, or fame.
When I blurted out whatever came to mind out of frustration, the corners of Seong Ji-won’s eyes crinkled as he laughed.
In that moment, he looked like a star twinkling in the deepest darkness….
“Hyungs!! What are you doing?! There’s so much snow over here!”
Then, from afar, Jeong Da-jun, covered in snow from head to toe, waved at us. Seeing him, Seong Ji-won stood up with a soft smile.
“Coming!”
Left alone, I slumped onto the spot where Seong Ji-won had been sitting and tilted my head back.
“……So annoying.”
[Why? Because of Seong Ji-won?]
The System Window popped up beside me.
“He’s annoying too, but it’s not just that.”
I shook my head to clear the snow and pulled my parka hood over my head.
Now that my excitement had cooled and my brain was starting to function again, it became even clearer.
Despite having no patience, I’d waited for Seong Ji-won to speak, and I’d gone out of my way to deal with Yun Hee-eon first when there was no benefit in it for me.
I finally realized why I’d been acting so unlike myself.
“…I’m screwed.”
I cherish Seong Ji-won.
Ding!
[????]
[Why…?]
[Because you couldn't progress the scenario? It’s okay, there’s plenty of time!]
Is it just Seong Ji-won?
Leaving the System Window to spout its clueless nonsense, I looked at each of the members’ faces.
I tried to gauge how angry I’d be if the members defied me and told me to stay out of their business.
Conclusion:
I’d be pissed.
I’d felt a tug at the back of my head ever since Jeong Da-jun’s double contract incident.
I’d felt uneasy for various reasons, but I’d been too busy making a living and didn't want to admit it, so I’d just ignored it and moved on.
In the end, it took a year for me to finally admit it.
“Ugh….”
I cherish these punks.
Not only do I look out for my own livelihood, but I also take care of them. Moreover, if anyone other than me messes with them, I lose my mind and can't rest until I’ve paid them back. That’s what I’m saying.
I’ve ended up creating another weakness, dammit….
[Don't be so gloomy! It’s not like you!!]
From a cafe across the street that was still open, Black Call’s carol flowed out softly.
[White Christmas
I’m smiling happily in front of you
White snow falling from the sky
I want to remember all of this forever]
“I’m not!! Ugh, this is so unfair!”
“Hey, want to bet? Want to make a bet?”
“Fine, let’s do it. But you have to bet all your gaming consoles, got it?”
“Fine, let’s go.”
Amidst the music, I could hear the members loudly arguing over something again.
“Ho-yun hyung!! Come here and tell us who’s wrong!”
I didn't even answer; I just glared at the sky by myself.
“When on earth will I finally be able to just coast through life? How much nicer do I have to be here before you give me a present?”
[I really want to give you something too. But Seo Ho-yun, you haven't exactly lived that ‘nice’ of a life…]
“Read the room for once.”
I was just saying it because I wanted to whine a bit.
[White Christmas
You, who were smiling happily in front of me]
What should I do from now on?
What kind of restrictions would admitting this place on me?
I weighed them one by one.
Nothing much will change.
Even if I increase the number of dependents, it won't hinder the scenario’s progress.
One way or another, the goal of becoming a first-tier idol remains the same.
[The carols echoing in the distance
I want to remember all of this forever]
Seo Ho-yun, this guy, will still try to use everything to achieve what he wants.
…Except for the members.
“…Okay.”
Having finished organizing my thoughts, I looked at the snowflakes that were now falling quite heavily, then stood up and approached the members.
“What is it now?”
“Ah! Listen to this, hyung. I’m so frustrated I could die??”
Our puppy was barking away as if he’d been deeply wronged, but his words didn't really register.
Maknae, I’m the one who’s more frustrated.
Black Call’s Christmas song, which was a massive hit.
Seong Ji-won, who almost did something crazy just to find me.
The Main Scenario, which showed no sign of progressing.
Not a single thing was going my way from start to finish.
“—Isn't that right?”
“You guys are fighting over that?”
“It’s a matter of pride.”
…Even so, it was fine.
“……Unbelievable.”
Of course, that was the most ridiculous part.
I crossed my arms and muttered.
“I wanted to find my original intentions, not my pride.”
“……???”
The members all tilted their heads with question marks practically floating above them.
“Jeong Da-jun.”
“Yes?”
I grabbed the back of the neck of Jeong Da-jun, who was closest to me, pulled him in, and rested my chin on his shoulder. Then, I muttered, pretending to be upset.
“Ho-yuni’s life is so haaaaard lately.”
“…….”
“…….”
An atmosphere colder than the winter wind passed between us.
Jeong Da-jun, his waist held captive, couldn't even run away and shuddered in horror, rubbing his arms.
“My life is hard every time you’re like this, hyung!”
“Hmph, hmph.”
“Ah! Ah!! Seriously, what’s wrong with you?!”
Eventually, Jeong Da-jun struggled and hopped around until he managed to scramble away the moment I let go. Only then did I start cackling.
The members grumbled incessantly, saying I must be sick, that they shouldn't have exposed my aegyo on broadcast, and that it felt like my face was now plated with diamonds instead of just being thick-skinned.
“Why, why has he become like Kang Yi-chae? Was there something in the Christmas cake earlier?!”
“Ah, I’m starting to feel like I need to keep my guard up against him….”
“Being the leader is really, really, really hard….”
“Whyyyyy.”
The members gave me worried looks as if I were ill, but they were the ones who should really be worried.
Sorry, guys.
You’ve been caught by a madman.
[Merry Merry White Christmas!]
Actually, I’m not that sorry.
