Chapter 106
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 106
[?????]
[Matching?? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]
[No, I was waiting for a full-group live stream since Ho-yun is back, but these guys brought a blind date program instead LMAO]
[Daepasung has lost it. Honestly, all the Deonging-i-deul seem like psychos now.]
[Is there even a point in adding "No. 1" to their names?
└ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]
As soon as the teaser dropped, the reaction was explosive, with everyone expressing a mix of horror and amusement.
It was self-produced content from the planning team, a project that had been fast-tracked because Seo Ho-yun wanted to focus on full-group activities.
And the content that resulted was…
<Heart-Pounding Matching Survival!>
It was that kind of show.
“Hello! I’m Rapper No. 1!”
Standing in the yard of a house, Kang Yi-chae had his hands clasped together, his face full of anticipation. If Seo Ho-yun had seen Kang Yi-chae’s face flushed with excitement, he would have immediately checked his acting stats.
“I’m really looking forward to seeing who I’ll meet today.”
[Kang Yi-chae’s satisfaction with the program is already at 200%.
└ LOLOL This guy really enjoys life.]
[Q. What kind of person do you want to meet?
Rapper No. 1: Someone who matches my… social status.]
While Kang Yi-chae continued to spout nonsense, Kim Seong-hyeon arrived shortly after and offered an awkward greeting.
“Ah, hello.”
“Hello~. Um. So.”
“I’m Rapper No. 1!”
“…Right. I’m Main Dancer No. 1.”
The captions appearing on screen read:
[Still an awkward relationship….]
“Um, have you eaten?”
“Yes, with someone I know.”
“Ah… who?”
[Is the rivalry already starting?]
“It wouldn’t be fun if you knew now.”
“Hmm….”
Shing—! The camera zoomed in on Kim Seong-hyeon’s shaking pupils.
[Oh my god.]
[LOLOLOLOL I’m dying. What is with these captions?]
[The editing is so annoying, seriously LMAO.]
Soon after, Jeong Da-jun entered, and fans’ jaws dropped.
[Jaw drops]
[What’s with Jeong Da-jun’s hair???? Gasp;;; Platinum blonde???]
[C-c-c-crazy, it suits him so well. What the, he’s a god-tier baby;;;]
“Sub-dancer No. 1, coming in~!”
Unaware of the fans’ reactions, Jeong Da-jun hopped and skipped inside excitedly. He almost tripped on the stairs, but while the other members rushed over in surprise, Jeong Da-jun casually performed a forward roll, struck a finishing pose with his arms wide, and stood up with a satisfied expression.
“Jeong Da-jun makes a cool entrance!”
[LOLOLOLOL My heart skipped a beat.]
[There’s already grass in his hair. You golden retriever.]
[Jeong Da-jun makes a cool entrance! (Insert meme of a golden retriever smiling with dirt on its face right after a bath)]
“Let’s be careful, Sub-dancer No. 1.”
“Yessir, yessir~.”
After that, it was Seo Ho-yun and Seong Ji-won’s turn. They entered together, but the contrast was stark: Seong Ji-won was incredibly polite, while Seo Ho-yun strolled in as if everything was a chore. The members erupted in boos at their simultaneous entrance.
“Boo~! You two didn’t already match up, did you?”
“We just ran into each other on the way!”
“Ahaha.”
[The contestants are already getting restless….]
An interview cutscene was spliced in. Everyone had mischievous faces, far removed from any sense of sincerity, as they described their ideal matching partner.
[Main Dancer No. 1: My desired partner? Someone who actually takes their vitamins when I tell them to. (We said a matching partner, not someone to co-parent with~.) Shut up.]
[Sub-vocal No. 1: Anyone.]
[Rapper No. 1: Everyone probably wants me, haha.]
The indifferent Sub-vocal No. 1 and the delusional Rapper No. 1.
[Rapper No. 1: Ha… this is tough. Raise your hand if you want to go on a date with the pretty Yi-chae~.]
However, everyone ignored him.
[Rapper No. 1: I guess everyone is making rivalry picks… they’re being cautious.]
[LOLOLOL Kang Yi-chae knows the term "rivalry pick."]
[No, even if he knows it, saying it on broadcast makes him look like a total nutcase LOLOLOLOL]
[A fierce competition is expected…!]
“Hello, I’m Sub-vocal No. 1.”
When Seo Ho-yun spoke shamelessly but with a hint of exhaustion, Jeong Da-jun waved his hands frantically.
“Waaaaah! Lee Jeong-hun!! PD-nim!!”
“…….”
“You have no manners, but you’re so, so handsome!!”
“Let’s stop Da-jun before he gets scolded by Ho-yun.”
“Right.”
While the older members worked hard to restrain him, Kang Yi-chae asked swaggeringly, “Main Vocal No. 1 already belted out a song earlier~!”
“…….”
“One song! Give us one song~! Do the Lee Jeong-hun lines too~!”
[Stop lying.]
[Hey, Seong Ji-won and Seo Ho-yun came in together. Don’t talk nonsense.]
[Seo Ho-yun will never do the lines LOLOL. His look of pure contempt is hilarious.]
[Give me back my Jeong-Jeong Couple.
└ LOLOL Don’t get too immersed LMAO.]
After the introductions were roughly finished, the contestants huddled together to chat when the production staff handed them a note.
[If you point at each other and form a pair, you can form a unit and film a cover!]
“Oh?”
[Gasp, then we can see unit cover videos if they pair up??]
[Gasp gasp gasp gasp, units?!??!!!]
Another interview cutscene played.
[Q. Who is your desired matching partner?
Sub-vocal No. 1: Someone who is good at arranging music and shares a room with me. I think I could coast along with them.
Main Rapper No. 1: The kid who fell earlier, the one who whined that it hurt when he bleached his hair platinum blonde.]
[LOLOL The kids suddenly got specific. They didn’t say names, but we know exactly who they are.]
[No, the Deonging-i-deul being so serious about the competition is too funny.
└ The positive function of survival programs.
└└ Ah.]
“Now! It’s no fun if we decide right here. Please apply for a pair while showing off your charms.”
“Main Vocal No. 1! Main Vocal No. 1!!”
“…Yes, Main Vocal No. 1.”
“I will sing a song!”
Seong Ji-won, who had been itching to sing a ballad, jumped up and grabbed a single flower. He then began singing a drama OST that was currently trending everywhere, handing the flower to Seo Ho-yun.
“Hiding this heart that keeps feeling more pathetic from you~.”
[Wait a minute.
Ji-won, calm down.]
[If it weren’t for Seo Ho-yun’s expression, I’d be totally immersed right now.]
[It’s so unnecessarily sweet.
Well, of course it is.
It’s Seong Ji-won.]
“I keep staying up all night~.”
“…….”
[But holy crap, Seo Ho-yun.
Whether Seong Ji-won is being sweet or not,
He looks like he’s thinking, "What is this guy doing..."]
[└ If it weren’t Seong Ji-won, he would have slapped him already.
└└ If it were Kang Yi-chae, he’d be lying in the grass after getting hit.
└└ Ah LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]
Despite the boos from the surroundings, Seong Ji-won sang steadfastly. His seven years of trainee experience didn't go anywhere; he was truly persistent.
“Ho-yun. Let’s do a ballad duet~!! I’m confident!”
“Let’s not do this.”
[Sub-vocal No. 1 contemplates the sincere courtship….]
The captions were the killing point.
[But then! Main Dancer No. 1 takes that flower!]
Seong Ji-won blinked and asked, “…Seong-hyeon, you want to do a ballad?”
“What are you talking about? No, Seo Ho-yun can’t. He’s already good at singing; now is the time for him to practice the dancing he’s been neglecting.”
“Gasp! Seong-hyeon hyung, you promised to do a dance cover with me~! Why are you changing your mind~?”
“When did I ever say that?”
“They say people are different when they go into the bathroom versus when they come out…!!”
[A fierce competitive structure!]
At that moment, Kang Yi-chae stood up. Perhaps he found it too bothersome to go get a flower, so he simply bent over, ripped a clump of grass from the yard, and gently placed it in Jeong Da-jun’s hand.
“……!!”
“A~ gift~.”
A skull CG exploded next to Jeong Da-jun at this "sincere" courtship. However, Kang Yi-chae smiled brightly as if he had made an irresistible, charming proposal.
“Rapper No. 1 claims Sub-dancer No. 1~!!”
“What, what, what……!”
“Let’s do rock.”
Another skull CG exploded next to Jeong Da-jun. Shaking, Jeong Da-jun slammed the grass onto the ground.
“I don’t want to?! The guy next to me is singing and giving flowers, but this guy just tosses a weed? I’m not doing it with you, Hyung. Go away. You lack the desperation required for a matching program contestant. You’re eliminated.”
“Hey, I said let’s do rock ‘n’ roll!”
“Elimination is also rock….”
“That’s also true… but do it with me.”
[Ah LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Is everyone talking to a wall?]
[They’re all just strong-willed types only stating their own wishes.]
[Wow, this is incredibly intense. It’s a total jungle.]
At the perfect timing, the screen changed to show a diagram of everyone’s tangled desired pairings.
[Everyone’s desired pairs are different!]
[What will be the result of this battle…?]
The production team, who hadn't expected such a mess, held a brief emergency meeting and took drastic measures.
“You want to decide with arm wrestling?”
“…Oh my?”
And the winner, naturally, was Kim Seong-hyeon.
“Haha, of course, right?”
“What the, his strength is….”
“The grip felt different the moment he grabbed me.”
After all the members were thoroughly defeated, Kim Seong-hyeon pointed at Seo Ho-yun with a proud smile. Seo Ho-yun, looking like he was being dragged to a slaughterhouse, trudged over. He sat down beside him with a thud and asked, “Have you picked a cover song?”
“Yeah.”
Kim Seong-hyeon smiled brightly.
“Let’s dance to ‘Get Over.’”
“……!!”
Get Over.
It was the debut song of Black Call, Ju Woo-seong’s group, and it was famous for having an e-e-e-extremely grueling choreography. It was notorious for requiring the dancers to practically scrub the stage with their bodies, with the choreography changing almost every second….
‘Is Kim Seong-hyeon insane?’
The camera zoomed in on Seo Ho-yun’s pale face as a caption appeared.
[Main Dancer No. 1 ♡ Sub-vocal No. 1]
Once the first-place winner decided his pair, the second-place winner let out a deep sigh.
“Sigh… then I’ll… I’ll go with Yi-chae hyung, who has no desperation. I hate it, but I’m not confident in ballads….”
“Thank you~!”
[Main Rapper No. 1 ♡ Sub-dancer No. 1]
Kang Yi-chae seemed quite satisfied to be paired with the person he wanted.
As Seong Ji-won was left alone, muttering “Ballad….” in lonely solitude, the production team suddenly revealed a hidden rule.
[Main Vocal No. 1, who was not chosen, can pick one man to create a sub-unit!
※ However, you cannot re-apply to someone you have already chosen!]
Everyone started buzzing at those words.
[What? Then there are three units in total? One person is in two?]
[Wow, one person is going to die.]
[Look at Seo Ho-yun’s relaxed face because he already rejected him LOL.]
“Wow~, crazy~. What are you gonna do~?”
Seo Ho-yun chuckled as he looked at the other members, whose faces had turned pale—unaware of the fate that was about to hit him hard….
[Seo Ho-yun, you have to dance to Get Over LOLOLOL.]
Anyway.
“Hmm….”
Seong Ji-won, who had regained his smile, scanned the members. The members, not wanting to die from a doubled practice load, quickly avoided his gaze… and while Kang Yi-chae was looking off into the distance, Seong Ji-won grabbed him.
“Theeen, I’ll pick Main Rapper No. 1!!”
“…Huh?”
As Seong Ji-won spoke energetically, Kang Yi-chae, who had been whistling while looking at the mountains, froze with his mouth agape. But Seong Ji-won was resolute.
“I’ll rap, and Yi-chae will do the ballad!”
“…Wh-what??”
[The final hidden couple:
Main Vocal No. 1 ♡ Main Rapper No. 1]
[LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]
With that scene, the 15-minute episode of <Heart-Pounding Matching Survival!> ended. The comment section was filled with nothing but "LOL"s.
[♪ Hectic and confused, the spinning world of The Dawn ♫]
[Ah, spicy, mild, mild, spicy—they’re just shoving it all into our mouths.]
[Thank you for the units. Ah, thank you.]
The Dawn… was miserable because a sudden unit practice had been dumped onto them for a "fun" self-produced content, but at least it brought joy to the fans.
[Main Rapper No. 1, who suddenly has to do rock and a ballad at the same time.. (Kang Yi-chae, 21)
└ Sub-vocal No. 1, who suddenly has to dance to Get Over.. (Seo Ho-yun, 23)
└└ Guys, wait, someone give me a link to Ju Woo-seong’s Get Over.
└└ Here (Link)]
After watching Ju Woo-seong’s Get Over fancam, the Noeuls’ pupils shook.
[It can’t be helped.]
And they quickly gave up.
[Just bring some Kimchi Fried Rice and get some tips, Ho-yun.]
[LOLOLOLOLOLOL]
[Fact about Get Over: Even that Ju Woo-seong complained that the dance was grueling.]
[No.... Ji-won, what on earth are you thinking? I told you to stop rapping (crying-laughing emoji)]
[Are you going for a gag, Ji-won?
└ He’s probably serious... He said on B-Live last time that he seriously wanted to practice rapping more..
└└ Now it’s a bit scary..]
[Our boy.. is someone who likes new challenges..
└└ Our boy.. is the type to cover what he lacks with practice..
└└ No, you said you’d do a ballad.
But why are you making Yi-chae do a ballad?]
[Wait, am I going to see PD Lee Jeong-hun dancing to Get Over?
└ I’m so glad his true self is an idol, seriously.
└└ Seo Ho-yun is famous for being a Ttukttak-i, don’t get your hopes up~
└└ He hasn’t been like that lately??;;
└└ Agreed.. and even if he is a Ttukttak-i... "I actually prefer it."
└└ The comment above is pure madness.]
A self-produced survival program and cover songs.
Moreover, thanks to editing the entire format like a heart-pounding dating show, it caught fire among fans and began to gain minor popularity with the general public.
As time passed, Seo Ho-yun was…
“Pant… pant….”
‘What on earth did I do wrong in my past life…??’
He was realizing anew how incredible the first-tier male idol Ju Woo-seong was.
“Did I sell out my country in my past life….”
“Hey.”
As I crawled on the practice room floor, Kim Seong-hyeon nudged me with his foot.
“Get up.”
“You… why are you doing this to me, seriously?”
“Does that matter?”
The planning team, seeing me suffer for the first time in a while, were having a blast zooming in with the cameras. Kim Seong-hyeon had an expression that said, ‘Of course we have to practice,’ and it was clear he had been influenced by Seong Ji-won.
“Why… why are we like this?”
“What.”
“I mean, usually self-produced content involves going on a trip, eating, having a barbecue, and having sincere talks, right?”
“The Noeuls want to see this.”
“…So this is how you’re going to play it?”
I glared at him with all my might, but Kim Seong-hyeon, completely unfazed, sat down on the floor and kindly showed me (who was on the verge of fainting) a video.
“Look, see at 1 minute 39 seconds? You don’t just turn once; it’s actually a turn and a half.”
“Show me something humanly possible.”
“Well, Senior Ju Woo-seong is a god….”
Kim Seong-hyeon analyzed Ju Woo-seong’s fancam second by second, and honestly, I was sick of it. I barely held back the urge to scream, ‘Ju Woo-seong has an S+ dance stat!’ The feast of dancing continued endlessly, and eventually, we told the nodding-off planning team and filming staff to head home.
“We’re… going to practice more. You guys go ahead.”
“Wow… that’s amazing. You guys are sleeping, right?”
“……Probably….”
After the crowd left, Kim Seong-hyeon and I continued to practice the same way.
Even though it had been a year and a half since our debut, practicing with the desperation of someone who hadn't debuted yet… seemed to just be a habit.
‘Hmm.’
As I lay collapsed, lacking the strength to even lift a finger, I watched Kim Seong-hyeon, who was dancing without getting tired, and suddenly became curious. He seemed to be dancing even better than he did six months ago.
Ding!
[Member Kim Seong-hyeon was a huge topic on a dance variety show! Even though his screen time felt like only one minute!]
The system window popped up as if it had read my mind.
I’d heard about that… but I’ve been so distracted lately. As I watched him quietly, Kim Seong-hyeon’s stats appeared with uncanny timing.
[Viewing Kim Seong-hyeon’s stats.
Pure "Light"
"God-tier" Personality
(In a different sense from a certain PD…)]
This brat….
Anyway, I scanned Kim Seong-hyeon’s abilities.
[Singing: B-
Dancing: S-
Variety: D-
Acting: E-
???: ???
Charm: A-]
‘……Is he insane?’
It was a rare sight to see an S- and an E- in the same profile.