I'll Just Go to the Military
When I opened my eyes, an unfamiliar ceiling filled my vision.
“Whoa!”
I had transmigrated. And if you realized you’d transmigrated, the first action to take was obvious.
I shot upright and planted myself in front of the mirror. Reflected there was a blond man with a slightly villainous look, yet undeniably, breathtakingly handsome.
I opened my mouth—teeth perfectly aligned, no cavities. I checked lower. The equipment was impressive in both length and girth.
“Hmm, hmm.” Health: pass. Reproductive capability: pass. A top-tier male specimen.
The room itself was absurdly luxurious, and the gown draped halfway over my body wasn’t cheap cotton or synthetic trash. It was genuine silk that caressed the skin like a lover’s touch. The sensation was fantastic.
I nodded in satisfaction.
“Hmm, hmm.”
But as I nodded, I noticed several red marks on this body’s neck and collarbone. Thinking I might be diseased, I flinched and examined myself further. The spots weren’t limited to one or two places.
A wave of anxiety hit me, but it vanished completely in the next moment.
“Mmm…”
From behind came the sound of a naked woman rubbing her eyes and sitting up. Her body was also covered in red marks blooming like flowers—mostly across her breasts, inner thighs, and lower belly. In other words, all the most embarrassing spots.
Seeing them, I smirked and muttered, “This bastard’s got stamina for days.”
“Huu… Oppa… hold me a little longer…”
The woman whined cutely, acting spoiled. Since she asked to be held, I saw no reason to refuse. I walked over and pulled her into my arms.
“Haa, Oppa…”
Her uniquely soft, squishy skin, the sweet scent rising from her, and the way her silky blonde hair slid through my fingers felt utterly intoxicating. The beauty in my embrace was on a level I had never encountered in my entire life—not even in photographs or videos.
It wasn’t mere prettiness. To compare her looks, you’d need to drag in 2D anime girls just to barely compete. She was unreal.
“Wow, would you look at that.”
Her breasts were practically the size of heads. As if possessed, I groped them, and she smiled with pleasure, acting coy.
“Puhu, that tickles…”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I kissed her immediately.
“Mmph! Chuu… Oppa, Oppaaa…!”
She didn’t resist, tangling her tongue with mine. At this point it was obvious we’d already gone far enough. Might as well enjoy myself a little first.
“Get over here!”
“Kyaa!”
I threw her onto the bed and prepared to faithfully carry out the divine duty of reproduction and proliferation—
“What the fuck.”
Sudden goosebumps exploded across my skin. It felt like all the blood that had rushed downward shot straight back up.
“Oppa, I love you.”
When she opened her eyes and blushed, her eye color matched this body’s perfectly. Come to think of it, her hair was the same blonde. Blonde wasn’t rare, so that was fine, but identical golden eyes? That changed everything.
At this point even the “Oppa” she kept using felt suspicious.
This guy… no way?
That was when—
—Bang!
“Demian. Just what time do you think it is…”
At the most catastrophic timing possible, the door flew open and another blonde woman stormed in.
“Ha.”
I felt her icy gaze pierce me like I was an insect, but I couldn’t even muster an excuse. The position the woman and I were in was so incriminating that anyone with half a brain could predict exactly what we’d been about to do in the next three seconds.
Even in this completely fucked situation, the new arrival’s face still caught my eye. Because she was insanely beautiful too.
Men truly are pitiful creatures.
Her features resembled the woman currently beneath me, but she looked more mature overall. The sharp upward slant of her eyes gave her a fiercely intimidating air. Her chest, however, was noticeably smaller.
Saying I now understood why her impression seemed so fierce would be far too trashy a thought, right?
After staring at me like a bug for a while, she pressed her temples as if suffering a headache.
“You’ve finally lost your mind for real…”
I still couldn’t think of any defense, so I kept my mouth shut.
“S-Sister Serena. It’s not like that.”
“You stay quiet, Emilia!”
“It’s true! We haven’t crossed the line yet. We were just expressing sibling affection a bit intensely, that’s all.”
“…And you’re calling that an excuse?”
Oh my god.
Emilia—the one now confirmed as this body’s younger sister—had only made the situation worse with her nonsense. Did she seriously think that would work? It wasn’t like claiming the back door was used but the front was still pure.
…Wait, did they really not do it? Is this guy impotent? It was standing just fine earlier, though. Maybe he hesitated to go all the way with his own sister.
Whatever.
“W-What’s even wrong with it? Oppa and I have always been close. Unlike with you, Sis.”
“Please, please just shut your mouth, Emilia. Did you really fall for a few sweet words from that scumbag?”
“You don’t understand anything! Oppa is a pitiful person!”
“Sigh……”
While the blonde duo bickered, I quickly organized the situation in my head.
Anyone who consumes web novels, webtoons, anime, or adult content should memorize plots as insurance against transmigration. The combination of golden hair, golden eyes, and the name Demian was more than enough to identify the character.
It didn’t take long.
This body’s name was Demian von Abraxas. He was one of the main villains in a male-oriented romance fantasy novel called I Became the Trash of the RoFan—also known as a RoFan hate piece, a story fueled by sweet revenge and dopamine hits.
The protagonist of that novel, himself a former trash, apparently felt some twisted kin-slaying urge and coolly lopped Demian’s head off in a mid-story episode.
Not that I found the protagonist detestable or felt any sympathy for Demian. In novels like that, annoying the protagonist was a sin worthy of death.
Honestly, the depiction of Demian’s trash behavior had been so unpleasant that I’d even clicked “recommend” when his head flew off because it felt satisfying.
Seeing him casually enjoying incest play now, I could only imagine how much worse he’d get later.
Demian’s ending had probably gone something like this: his brain so fried by dopamine that normal humans no longer satisfied him, so he’d started chaining together different races and people like a train and thrusting away at the end. The protagonist, deciding he was irredeemable, took his head immediately.
No matter how I looked at it, the guy deserved to die.
“Tsk.”
The problem was that guy was now me.
A chill ran down my spine. I unconsciously stroked the back of my neck. At least I should count myself lucky for transmigrating at the stage where he was only sampling his sister instead of monsters.
“S-Sis, you were actually looking at Oppa as a man too! You’re just jealous! Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
“…Emilia, please stop. My ears feel like they’re rotting.”
“Don’t lie. If that were true, you should’ve stopped us earlier. I saw you secretly watching us play from behind and then running away with a bright red face.”
Fuck. What the hell do you mean, lucky? This household is legendary levels of fucked up.
As expected, when a male-oriented RoFan villain is designed to be killed without remorse, they make the family situation a complete disaster from the start.
—Whoosh!
“Shut your mouth!”
“Kyaa!”
I’d endured long enough. When Serena finally snapped and tried to slap Emilia, I caught her arm.
“Whoa, whoa. Calm down, Nunim.”
Serena looked me up and down—naked except for the loosely draped gown—and spoke with forced dignity.
“Demian, at least try to make an excuse. You call yourself a man, yet you plan to hide behind a woman and stay silent?”
But something felt off. Why was she blushing when her younger brother was holding her arm? Why did she glance repeatedly at my crotch and neck while trying to lecture me?
Dear god. I’d thought Emilia was just talking nonsense, but Serena actually had those tastes too?
I’d wondered why these ridiculously beautiful girls weren’t heroines and weren’t even mentioned in the original story. Turns out there was a reason.
By the original timeline they were probably already…
Anyway, that wasn’t important right now.
“Ugh…!”
“Nuna, I said calm down first.”
“Ha! With that smooth-talking mouth of yours, how dare you lecture me! Do I look calm? Emilia is your sister! She’s family!”
“……”
“No matter how much you live for pleasure, there are lines that must not be crossed! I’ve endured you for so long despite how detestable and pathetic you are. Because you’re my brother. But this? This I cannot overlook. As head of the family, I will not let this pass.”
Her emotions seemed to overwhelm her. Serena began struggling violently.
—Thud!
With no choice, I grabbed her other arm, pinned her with raw strength, and shoved her against the wall.
The situation was plenty infuriating even without the impure thoughts mixed in, and Emilia’s unnecessary provocation had completely flipped her switch. Conversation was impossible like this.
“You… you…”
The resulting pose was incredibly awkward. A healthy young man wearing only a gown had a delicate woman pinned against the wall, overpowering her by force.
Serena’s gaze trembled as she stared at me. From behind came Emilia’s suspicious voice.
“Oppa?”
“Don’t tell me you’re even looking at me that way now…”
This was driving me insane.
I sighed and simply blurted out whatever came to mind.
“It’s not like that, so stop blushing. What are we supposed to do if even you act like this, Nuna? At least you need to keep it together.”
“Is that something you should be saying?”
She was right. Even I was stunned by my own words. It wasn’t some out-of-body experience—the guy who had just tried to sleep with his sister was telling the sister who came to stop him to get a grip.
Still, in moments like this it was better to shamelessly push forward than freeze up. Women were surprisingly weak to absurdly aggressive approaches. Even when clearly at fault, like getting caught cheating, you could flip the momentum and pressure them instead if you rode the wave right. I’d experienced it several times.
“I was wrong, Nuna. Let’s talk first. Just calm down a little, yeah?”
“Sigh… What the hell is this first thing in the morning…”
Pushing forward with a straight face actually worked. Serena somehow calmed down.
It really does work.
I looked back and forth between Serena—who was still fanning herself with her hand, glare not yet cooled—and Emilia, who was quietly watching from behind me.
No matter how I looked at it, the only thought that came to mind was that I was completely fucked.
This was no longer a normal family. The younger sister and brother had feelings for each other and had reached the brink of sleeping together. The eldest daughter was jealous and feeling corrupted by it.
No matter how much I loved dopamine, there were limits. A ruinous ending was clearly scheduled, and I had zero interest in sprinting headfirst into it.
Seeking pleasure until the end in an unavoidable situation was one thing. Willfully abandoning your mentality in an avoidable situation and charging forward with “whatever happens, happens” was another thing entirely.
“So. What are you going to do now? Say something.”
“O-Oppa…”
…It wasn’t an appropriate thought given the situation, but honestly, both of them were ridiculously beautiful.
The idea of just enjoying the sister sandwich and quietly waiting for my execution raised its head for a split second. But the tiny thread of remaining reason stopped me.
Because if I did that, it wouldn’t just be me getting screwed.
No matter how much these women weren’t my real family, they were still this body’s younger sister and older sister. For a man to fool around without taking responsibility and drag them down with him was far too ugly.
So what the hell should I do?
‘Ah!’
When I closed my eyes and thought hard, a pretty good solution came to mind.
The one method a young man caught in an uncontrollable romantic disaster could use only once in his life.
And it would probably still be valid in this situation.
Having recalled it, I slowly built up to the reveal.
“First, I’m sorry for everything. To Emilia and to you, Nuna. I really did something unforgivable. I must have gone crazy for a moment after living without a brain.”
“N-No… Don’t say that. It’s not just your fault, Oppa. If we’re being honest, I’m the same.”
“…You know we’ve already passed the stage where that kind of talk works, right? Don’t even say it’s fine because you didn’t mix bodies. Anyone can see you’ve already crossed the line. Once people learn you two spent the night together, rumors among the servants are inevitable. There’s a limit to keeping mouths shut unless you kill everyone.”
“It’s fine. We can cover the rumor with a bigger one.”
Serena frowned at my words.
“What?”
“What do you mean, Oppa?”
Emilia, listening beside her, widened her eyes and tilted her head.
I slowly opened my mouth toward the two of them.
The solution was simple.
“I’m going to the military.”
It was a military run.
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