Chapter 1
Chapter 1
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: The Fake Elixir
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The Imperial Palace of the Baiho Empire on the Western Continent.
In a grand reception hall, only a handful of people sat before a vast table, their small number a stark contrast to the room's size.
They were the heads of the great powers that could sway the very fate of this empire.
“So, we've decided to recognize your achievement in procuring the 'Elixir of Immortality'—the one that supposedly stops aging and death.”
At the Crown Prince's words, I secretly clenched my fists.
‘Finally!’
I’d crawled through hell and back to reach this point.
“You brought the item, I presume?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
I smiled gently.
And then, I launched into my prepared speech.
“For this, I wandered every mountain, chewing on every last herb I could find! To test their effects, I gulped down poisons!”
Ah, a bargain, I tell you!
“...You're no different from a medicine peddler.”
“Yes, I am a medicine peddler.”
That's right. I am this country's greatest physician. The greatest medicine peddler.
Goodbye to the days of weeping over this damn book transmigration.
This empire is a place where countless physicians and apothecaries compete.
And here I am, an immigrant from the Eastern Continent.
A genius who created the Elixir of Immortality despite facing endless discrimination for being an Easterner.
This was the moment I would finally be recognized as the greatest ‘physician’ and ‘apothecary’.
“You can decide after trying it.”
“Good. You gave me two doses, correct? We've decided to use the first on His Majesty the Emperor, who is ailing. I shall use the next.”
“Yes, it is my honor!”
Inwardly, I snorted.
‘What a filial son, this bastard. He's just using his sick father as a guinea pig.’
The Crown Prince's cunning was famous even in other nations. In the original story, he was the kind of bastard who backstabbed the female lead several times.
“Ahem, you there, healer! You should consider it an honor for your medicine to be used on the most noble of bodies.”
“It will be an honor for my family for generations to come.”
When I smiled, one of the lords blushed a deep red. Disgusting.
“Ahem, what family could a lowly Easterner possibly have...”
“And that wretched family of hers went completely bankrupt.”
“Enough.”
At the Crown Prince's word, the grumbling lords fell silent.
“Right. You said you had a wish you wanted to ask for in return for offering the elixir.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
I will ask for a single treasure.
‘That's all I need.’
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say I've dedicated my entire life to obtaining it.
“But what to do?”
“...Pardon?”
“Unfortunately, it seems it will be difficult to grant your wish.”
I felt a sense of foreboding as I watched the knights approach. And just as I expected.
“I know that you are very good at healing your own wounds.”
“Kuh!”
“That's why I intend to kill you in one blow.”
I coughed up blood.
“The genius physician who heals with water. But... I hear it's difficult to heal without clean water nearby, isn't it?”
My eyes trembled.
‘Hardly anyone should know that. How did he...?’
I've had many enemies throughout my life.
Because I was an Easterner that others discriminated against. Because I was an Easterner, yet pretty and young. But also because I was competent.
“On second thought, if I let you live, you might make the elixir for someone else, wouldn't you? So how can I trust your promise?”
“...”
“I don't need any other immortals besides myself.”
“...”
The Crown Prince grinned, a vile smile on his face.
“So you'll have to die.”
I tried to scream in protest, but the pain left me speechless.
“Even the greatest physician from the East is helpless against a surprise attack.”
I lifted my head.
The lords were all smirking.
“I knew it the moment that vulgar scrap from the East started talking about wishes.”
“If you don't know your place, you should at least have the sense to stay quiet...”
“Her skills were quite good, though, weren't they? Hoho.”
I thought to myself as I wiped away the blood.
‘To be honest, I expected this would happen.’
The empire's greatest physician, a genius.
I'd reached my goal, but when I looked up, there was no one beside me.
No friends, no family, no house. No relatives.
‘They either betrayed me or were ruined.’
I let out a sigh.
I stopped wiping away the blood.
“My dear Your Highness.”
“...”
Instead, I grinned.
“Be careful with your hair.”
“W-What?”
“You secretly commissioned a hair loss remedy from me, didn't you? Did you think I wouldn't know who you were?”
The Crown Prince's eyes widened as if they would tear. On my deathbed, what did I have to lose?
“Your hair is running away because your heart is so wicked.”
“That's...!”
“You should stop wearing that wig. If you want to protect what little hair you have left.”
The lords, who had been laughing merrily, looked at the Crown Prince in surprise.
The Crown Prince's unusually wide forehead.
The Crown Prince's face turned beet red.
“D-Don't look at me, all of you! I don't have such a thing!”
Says the future bald man.
“And just yesterday, I secretly met with three kingdoms and told them I would be offering the Elixir of Immortality to the Baiho Imperial Family.”
Everyone flinched.
The empire is in decline.
Amidst fierce competition for national power, the elixir I created had become a treasure coveted by all the rising powers and kingdoms.
The main source of income on the Western Continent is war.
In an era overflowing with those who live off war, it would serve as an excellent pretext for invasion.
‘Scared now, you bastards?’
You think you can kill me and live happily ever after?
“I've already provided them with definitive proof. Go on, try telling them the elixir isn't here.”
What do I care if a war breaks out after I die, or if this crumbling empire falls to ruin?
‘This is a disaster brought on by your own karma.’
You really shouldn't have thrown your weight around so much with the other kingdoms, should you have?
“This damned bitch!”
I cackled. My vision began to blur.
‘Tsk, I guess it's too hard to do it alone.’
I have no power, no one on my side.
I thought if I became a genius who could overwhelm everyone on my own, something would be different.
I realized that far too late.
But I know I still have a chance.
“Farewell, everyone! I hope you all perish in the middle of a war!”
Drop dead, you bastards who killed me.
“And. When I die, poison will spread from my corpse, so try to survive on your own.”
And there's one last thing I have to say.
“Oh, right!”
I was the greatest genius physician and apothecary, a master of poisons and medicines, but.
At the same time.
I was a con artist.
“That elixir is a fake.”
Me?
I'm fine.
‘Tsk, this life is a bust too.’
***
“Uweeegh!”
The moment I opened my eyes, I started to dry heave.
Of course, nothing came up.
This was just the ‘regression sickness’.
Dammit, I failed again!
Ugh, ugh. After dry-heaving for a full thirty minutes, I finally managed to lift my head.
I saw a broken windowpane before me. My reflection was visible in it.
Pale, soft cheeks, but with gaunt, sunken spots.
Despite that, it was a pretty face.
Exactly three years old.
“Dyammit.”
Ahem, ahem. As soon as I opened my mouth, another dry cough escaped.
“I failed again.”
I ruffled my hair frantically.
In the broken glass, I could see a baby with wildly messy, light purple hair.
“I hafta live another twenty years! Aaaargh!”
My shouts echoed wildly through the empty space, where no one would come no matter how loud I screamed.
This is all because I was transmigrated into my friend's favorite child-rearing novel, a story I didn't even like