The Words That Wouldn't Come
Until now, the only parties Bariya had ever known were the modest ones her mother made for her birthday, singing to her in a small, quiet room. At the Mariner house she had been a disgrace, and of course no one had ever thought to celebrate the day she was born. No fine food, no brilliant lights, no costly gifts—only her mother's song of congratulations, and a warm embrace.
Even so, I was happy.
Bariya took in the scene before her, slowly and carefully. The table was crowded with foods she had never seen. The dining hall glowed with bright decorations, and gifts were piled high beside them. On top of all that, Tyreen and a few of the others were belting out something that might, generously, have been called a song. Bariya, who had spent her whole life hearing only her mother's sweet voice, hadn't even realized that whatever they were doing counted as singing.
I'm enjoying myself now, too.
It was nowhere near as lavish as a banquet, but this noisy little gathering, shared only with people she liked, was wonderful all the same. Bariya, who usually buried her nose in meat at every meal, set her fork down for once and clapped along. It was as joyful, as happy, as the birthday parties she had spent with her mother.
"Whoa."
When the party ended, Bariya went out into the garden with the Caliph family. She had come this way now and then to play hunting games with Shirka, or to eat with Sabrina, but she had never gone all the way into the forest beyond the garden.
"This is really all part of the Caliph Estate?!"
A vast forest spread out behind the mansion. And it wasn't only forest.
"Why is there an ocean in the garden...?"
From a high hill overlooking the woods, Bariya stared in bewilderment at the water stretching endlessly away to one side. Strange. The Caliph Estate was quite a distance from the sea.
"It isn't the sea. It's a lake. In high summer the whole staff comes out here to swim."
Shirka's matter-of-fact answer only startled her more. It was that wide, and it still wasn't the sea?
"Swimming sounds like fun."
When those hyena bastards had been hunting her, she had barely managed to drink, and if she wanted to wash she had done it in a quick splash across her face. The noise of water would have brought them running, so play had been unthinkable. And yet here was swimming, in a lake so vast it looked like the ocean. She wanted to try it. She really did.
"Even though you're a cat, you don't seem to mind the water."
Shirka watched with open curiosity as Bariya gazed at the lake, envy bright in her eyes.
"Even among the Caliphs, only the tiger beastkin enjoy the water. The other felines won't go anywhere near it."
"Really? I like it. I never even got to go near the water when I was little."
Bariya said it lightly, but her heart was pounding.
When am I ever going to tell them I'm a leopard cat?
She was fairly certain now that it would be all right to speak of the Authority she carried, and of the fact that she was a leopard cat beastkin.
I just don't know how to say it!
Not once in her life had she revealed a secret of her own to anyone else. Of her Authority, only her late mother had known the truth. Even Darius Mariner believed it to be some trifling little power. If her real ability had ever been discovered, the hyenas would surely have locked her away for the rest of her life, so Claire had lied. And because her mother had begged her, again and again, never to let the secret out, Bariya was used only to hiding it. Saying the words herself was hard.
How do I explain it so the Caliphs won't think they've been deceived?
That was what worried her most.
Just then White, who had come along on the walk, chuffed and rubbed her cheek against Bariya's shoulder, then flattened herself to the ground. It was a signal to climb on.
"White's back belongs entirely to Bariya now."
"Doesn't it? She never allowed it even once when Shirka was little. I'm amazed myself."
At the sight, Baden and Sabrina broke into helpless laughter. Bariya stroked White's head, then climbed straight onto her back.
"H-hey—?"
In the same instant White burst into a run, racing for the wide fields.
"Hey, White!"
Shirka shouted in alarm behind them, but White didn't so much as pretend to listen.
"Ha!"
It was sudden, but what broke from Bariya was not a scream. It was a cry of delight. Scenery rushed past without pause. Wind skimmed her whole body, and the speed of it sang through her.
"Hahaha!"
It was a lightness nothing like running in her leopard cat form, and the laughter came of its own accord. She felt as if something stopped up inside her had split wide open and let the air through. White rumbled, low and pleased.
"Yes! I love it!"
Bariya beamed at the sound.
"You ran on purpose because I looked gloomy, didn't you? To cheer me up. But I wasn't gloomy."
She hugged White's neck tight and buried her cheek in the sweet-smelling fur of her head. She had only been thinking of how she might draw closer to the Caliphs. It wasn't gloom. Expectation was the better word.
"Still, thank you, White."
Whenever Bariya seemed down, White was always the first to come to her, rubbing cheeks or fussing over her with affection. Perhaps because she was an animal, she answered all the more keenly to Bariya's mood. Grateful for that, Bariya stroked her fur again and again.
Bariya and White ran to their hearts' content for two whole hours. If she hadn't grown hungry, she would have kept playing even longer.
"Your hair's a complete mess."
When they reached the lakeshore she had seen earlier, the three Caliphs were waiting with a mat already spread. While Shirka tidied Bariya's hair with careful fingers, Baden took the food from the picnic basket piece by piece and set it out on a small table.
"If you've come on an outing, you have to eat a packed lunch."
"This was a picnic?"
"Of course. An outing is a picnic. That's just what you call it."
Sabrina said it bluntly and popped a macaron into Bariya's mouth. At the rich, sweet scent of fruit, Bariya's face went slack with bliss. Meat was still the best, but she loved desserts like this, too.
"Here. Have a sandwich as well."
Baden peeled the paper from a sandwich and held it out to her. Shirka opened a parasol so Bariya wouldn't grow too hot, shading her from the sun. White flopped onto her back beside Sabrina, belly up, basking in her touch for the first time in a long while.
"The water is so clear."
Bariya finished a sandwich packed with ham, cheese, and vegetables in a flash, tore into another, and looked out over the lake. The sky was so blue that the water seemed unusually clear as well.
"The Caliph Estate was built here because of this lake. We're tiger beastkin. We can hardly do without a watering hole nearby."
"Do you swim here too, Shirka?"
"Mm. Even in summer the water stays cool. Swimming in tiger form feels wonderful."
"Ooh. Are there fish in there?"
"There are."
At Shirka's answer, Bariya's eyes sparkled. Then someday she absolutely had to swim in her leopard cat form. And while she was at it, hunting a fish or two to eat would be nice.
"Little one."
On her third sandwich, Bariya turned toward Sabrina, who was calling her.
"Thank you for saving us."
The unexpected words made her eyes go wide.
"Wh-what brought that on all of a sudden..."
"My Madness was always hard on all of us. Because of you, it could end without anyone getting hurt."
Sabrina caught the flustered girl's hand and held it tight. This small hand had saved her. A hand as covered in tiny scars as her own.
"Thank you, little one. You are a great blessing to us."
Sabrina bowed her head and pressed her forehead to the back of Bariya's hand. The way the child squirmed without rest, too flustered to hold still, was unbearably dear.
"You are a precious benefactor the Caliphs cannot do without. So if there's anything you want, just say so. We'll grant whatever it is."
"Our little blessing."
Shirka and Baden smiled at the child as well. Faced with a moment she had never imagined, Bariya didn't know what to do—and yet she was certain of one thing.
Ah. The Caliphs truly won't hurt me.
The moment she understood it properly, her heart began to race. She wanted to tell them. About the Authority she possessed, and about the truth that she was a leopard cat beastkin. In a way, it wasn't even such a great secret. If she could only find the courage, she could say it.
But.
"..."
Strangely, no words came from her parted lips.
Is it because I don't want to ruin this mood?
She was a great leopard cat who had never bothered reading the room, who would plant a hind-paw kick in someone's face the moment things displeased her. Even she couldn't understand why she kept hesitating.
It's only nerves. I'll sort my heart out a little, and then I'll tell them. I will.
It wouldn't take long. Just a few days to steel herself, and then she would say it plainly. Looking at the gentle faces of the Caliph tigers, Bariya made a firm resolve.
But unfortunately, that resolve was never kept. The day after a picnic happier and more joyful than anything she had known—
The man she least wanted to see in all the world had come looking for them.