The Scent of Grass
"Ha. Thank goodness."
Even so, just in case, Circa dampened a towel, wiped her feet, and looked them over once more with painstaking care. Only after he had confirmed there was truly no wound did he finally let himself relax.
"How do you feel?"
He was not simply asking whether she was hurt. Sabrina's pheromones had been so fierce that even Bariya found them hard to endure unless she wrapped herself in her own. He must have wanted to know whether she was truly all right after taking them head-on.
To admit as much would be little different from admitting that she possessed an Authority—and a considerable one at that. She knew that perfectly well. And yet—
"I'm fine."
The answer came out so easily it was almost uncanny. The Caliphs already possessed an Authority, just as she did. They shared the same pain of having lost family to the Mariners. They were people who could help one another. All of it had tangled together, and her trust in the Caliphs had only grown deeper because of it.
"I'm really all right."
Bariya said it once more, as if to drive the point home. Circa seemed to catch, if only faintly, what lay behind her words.
"……I see. I'm truly glad. But, little one, you were far too reckless today. I was genuinely worried."
Circa sighed and closed both hands tightly around Bariya's small ones. When those tiny hands had reached for a Sabrina who had lost all reason, his heart had nearly dropped through the floor. How badly he had been startled—terrified that the young benefactor who had saved them from the hyena raider's poison might come to harm at none other than Sabrina's hands. Once she came back to herself, Sabrina would have been the one least able to bear it. Something worse than the Madness might well have taken hold. The mere thought was dreadful.
"I was certain nothing would happen to me."
Unlike Circa, whose heart was still hammering, Bariya was perfectly composed.
Because I could push Lady Sabrina's pheromones back with my own.
Sure that she could even lull her to sleep that way, she had walked without the slightest hesitation toward the Sabrina who meant to attack her.
"And right now, I think there's something else you ought to say."
When Bariya glanced at him sidelong, Circa let out a breath.
"……Thank you. Truly, for helping us, Bariya."
Only then did a bright smile spread across Bariya's face.
"Whenever Mother's Madness took hold, so many people used to get hurt."
After Circa began restraining her, almost no one was injured—but it was never no one at all. He himself had been torn and struck, time and again. Today, though, thanks to Bariya, it had ended far too easily, and far too quickly.
"It's all thanks to you. Thank you, little one."
"We're bound by a contract, and yet it always felt as though I was only ever taking from the Caliphs. It weighed on me."
A place to sleep, food to eat, even clothes to wear—the Caliphs gave Bariya nothing short of the finest. But aside from a distant future in which she would help them break the hyenas, she had nothing to offer, and the sense of debt had never left her.
"So I'm glad I got to help."
When she had purged the poison the raider flung, she had not done it alone, so it felt awkward to claim she had saved Circa. The Caliphs were grateful for that much on its own, of course, but Bariya had never thought it needed to count. Today was different. Today, she had unmistakably helped the Caliphs.
"To think you were carrying thoughts like that."
"I am a beastkin who knows shame."
Unlike those Mariner wretches!
The door clicked open, and White came in. She had been drooping, but the moment she saw Bariya sitting on the bed she dashed over, shoved Circa aside, and pressed her face into the child's lap. A low chuff rolled into a deep, contented purr.
Circa could hardly believe it. He had never once heard White purr with such pure pleasure.
"Ah—I left you behind. Are you all right?"
Bariya stroked White's head, and another rumbling purr answered.
"You must still be worn out. Come on, up you go. Let's sleep together."
She patted the bed, and White climbed up at once, as though she had been waiting for nothing else.
"Do you like sleeping with White?"
"Mm. She's warm, and so fluffy."
"If she ever bothers you or gets in the way, just say the word. I'll chase her off."
White answered with a disdainful snort.
That insolent beast. Honestly.
"You must be tired too, little one, so sleep deeply. Don't think about anything. Don't worry about anything."
Circa drew the blanket up over Bariya, who had lain down beside White. She had used her Authority today, just as she had when she purged the poison, so she was bound to be exhausted.
"You should have your wounds treated too, Circa."
At her words, Circa looked down at himself. Holding Sabrina back had left his clothes torn in more than one place, and the wounds were many. Left alone, injuries of this degree would heal on their own in time.
"All right. I will."
He nodded, afraid that if he didn't, Bariya would stay awake just to scold him. For such a small child, she certainly did a great deal of nagging.
"Sleep well, little one."
"Sleep well, Circa."
Circa brushed her bangs back with a gentle hand, left his farewell, and stepped out of the room. He had expected that, just as on the night she purged the poison, excitement and joy would keep her tossing. His worry proved needless. Bariya slipped almost at once into a deep, easy sleep, and a soft, peaceful little snore filled the room.
Sunlight spilling through the window washed over the bed.
"Mmm."
Sabrina woke with a frown. Then the heavy weight against her hand made her turn her head.
"……Baden?"
Her husband was asleep against the side of the bed, her hand clasped tight in his.
"What is this?"
Sabrina was thrown. As a rule, they kept separate bedrooms. She entered Baden's chamber whenever she pleased, but he never entered hers without her permission first. Why, then, were they together today?
And if he meant to sleep, why not lie down properly on the bed instead of sleeping so uncomfortably?
They were a married couple who had long since seen all there was to see of one another. It was hardly as though they had suddenly grown shy of each other—though, granted, it had been quite some time since they had shared a bed.
"Baden. Wake up."
Sabrina shook their joined hands. Even in that miserable posture he had not let go, and her palm was slick with sweat.
"……Ah. Sabrina?"
Baden woke at last. He looked terribly tired; he could barely keep his eyes open.
"Mm. Are you all right?"
"You're the one who doesn't look all right. Why didn't you sleep in the bed?"
"I was watching over you……."
"Me? Why?"
"You don't remember?"
As his mind cleared a little, Baden looked up at Sabrina with eyes that had grown considerably sharper.
"Yesterday, you lost consciousness."
He did not use the word Madness. Sabrina understood all the same.
"……I remember. Right. I went mad yesterday."
Why hadn't it come back to her until now? It had been late, not yet time for sleep, when a strange exhaustion settled over her and she called a maid for a cup of tea. Before she could even drink it, her head had spun, and the Madness—quiet for so long—had surged up once more. The teacup shattered. The maid was hurt. Little by little, the voices of people calling for Circa and Baden rose through her memory.
"Damn it. Again."
Sabrina's face twisted hard. The Madness was as good as a fatal weakness, laying her pathetic lack of will bare before the whole world. Shame flooded every inch of her—that she had been saddled with an illness like this because of those hyena bastards. And yet the Madness was not something she could govern as she pleased.
"Is there anything else you remember?"
"Only that I think I was angrier than usual."
Sabrina sorted calmly through what she could recall. She had been angry to an unnatural degree, a fury rising in her that she had to go out that very moment and kill the hyenas. She had grown angrier still because she kept imagining she could smell hyena from somewhere—even though they had swept them all away not long ago, and not a single hyena remained in Caliph territory.
"……Was Circa badly hurt?"
If she had been angrier, then of course Circa, trying to hold her back, would have been hurt worse. Sabrina bit her lip.
"No. Only scratches."
The answer was nothing like what she had expected, and her head came up at once.
"How?"
"……The little one."
At the words that stumbled out of him, Sabrina's eyes went wide.
"Ah."
The rest of the memory came rushing back. In the instant when the hyena hallucination wavering before her eyes had been about to swallow her reason entirely, a bitter-fresh, pleasant scent of grass had come rushing in from somewhere. The nightmare vanished. The rage subsided. And the peace she had longed for so desperately arrived.
"The little one… put me to sleep?"
A pheromone like the scent of grass. The first time she had met the little kitten hiding in the garden, that fragrance had brushed the tip of her nose for only a moment before vanishing. It was the same pheromone she had smelled so strongly when the child was suffering from Authority Fever.
"Ha."
That little thing. With a body that small.
She helped me.