The Thunderclap Sword Sovereign's Final Strike
A thunderous roar proclaiming me the supreme of an era—the world's greatest—rumbled from not far off, clearing my blurred vision.
By now, my nose should've gone crooked from the stench, but this goddamn blood reek showed no signs of fading, making every breath a struggle. I couldn't even tell if I was gripping my sword right, so I glanced down at my hand. No clue how I was holding it, but it seemed secure enough. No sensation at all, though.
Tired? Bullshit. I don't get tired. If it looks that way, blame it all on this blood. Yeah, that's it. Squelch. This blood. This blood mixed with chunks of god-knows-what. This blood I don't even want to think about whose it is.
The mouth is the root of all evil, they say—preach pretty words, you old monk. That guy whose name was a pain to remember, so I just called him Nangong Mo. The sweet-hearted Moyong lady who pretended to know me when she'd forgotten my name after I told her. That twenty-something who'd fallen for me hard after one damn assassination lighting show... Yeran. Moyong Cheol, the one who'd tease that if I married into the Moyong family as a son-in-law, I'd become Moyong Yongcheol. How the hell does someone end up named Dragon-Dragon-Cheol...? Cough.
"You fucking... "
I tried to spit out the mouthful of blood-mixed saliva but forced it back down. The ground around me was nothing but blood and flesh from my former comrades. Even I, who ignored most trivial shit, couldn't defile them like that. Filthy, but I swallowed it anyway. Now my nose, mouth, and insides were all filled with the taste and smell of blood.
"You're reaching your limit, aren't you?"
"Ah, shit, you scared me!"
The sudden voice made me yell before I knew it. My realm was the supreme state where body followed heart without delay, so I was already leaping back on reflex.
"......"
"...Ahem. Cough. Damn kid. I was about to doze off from boredom."
For the first time, human emotion flickered in those ever-indifferent eyes, but I ignored it and stuck to my true self.
"So, is that Heavenly Demon bullshit finally over?"
"I'd love to call you all talk still."
His voice slithered in like a snake, languid to the point of drowsiness.
"But you're the only one who's held form after witnessing my ultimate technique. Can't say that anymore."
"Your ass, you son of a—cough."
Swallowing my rising curses, I pressed on.
"...fucking... "
"Be proud. It wasn't a true one-on-one deathmatch, but you succeeded in toppling me. Congratulations, new supreme of the world."
"Still got a stiff neck when you're about to croak."
I channeled whatever it was—inner energy, flowing blood, or maybe that fabled innate astral qi I’d only heard of—moving my numb body. It trembled like a newborn fawn, but luckily, my legs stepped forward. Thank god. If they'd backed up instead, how embarrassing would that have been?
The guy, oblivious to my thoughts, watched me with gleaming eyes. What would he think if he knew? Pity me like before? Find it ridiculous? Either way, ruffling that pristine, superior face of his—untouched by a speck of dirt—would feel damn good. But with what strength I had left, even flapping my lips was too much, so I focused on shuffling forward in silence.
Crunch. Drip.
"......"
"I said you're at your limit. Wait quietly. Looks like you and I are fated to die on the same day."
"Where do you get off cursing me like that, you satan demon bastard?"
Couldn't hold back. Blame my left leg below the knee, rolling on the ground over there. The damn thing went on strike, keeping me from closing the distance.
"Hey."
"What?"
"Come a bit closer."
"No need. Why would I?"
"......"
I stared at his pale mug, then planted my sword in the ground like a cane. Some sword nerd might bitch about using a blade as a walking stick, but a swordsman just needs to slice what needs slicing and spare what doesn't. What else matters? And now... no one's left to nag me about it. They're all sprawled here as puddles of blood and chunks of meat.
"Heavenly Demon my ass. Some heaven subcontractor must've come down barking orders, you satan demon bastard."
Ptoo. Ptoo. I smeared blood-mixed spit (basically just gore) on my palm like a maniac and gripped the hilt tight.
"I'll survive this. I'll lop off your head here, crawl out alive, and whether it's the Central Plains or beyond—"
"......"
I spat the words at his still-expressionless eyes.
"—I'll spread the word that the Demonic Cult's satan demon bastard was a pedo pervert with a cross-dressing fetish."
"......!"
For the first time, the Heavenly Demon's indifferent eyes twitched faintly. My earlier glimpse of contempt must've been spot-on; they hadn't shaken like this before.
"For a thousand years, ten thousand— this world will remember you not as the supreme through the ages, Heavenly Demon, slaughterer of half the martial world, purple-jawed boulder. But as a deviant who got stabbed while cross-dressing and preying on kids."
"...What...?"
Flash!
Timing perfect. I swung the sword I'd been leaning on skyward.
Rumble! Before the thunder crashed, golden lightning gathered at my blade's tip.
"I'll make sure of it...!!"
—!
Before the Heavenly Demon could move, the blade—pure lightning incarnate—plunged into his heart.
"—!"
Flicker.
"Find some demonic fruit in your next life to become a sun god or whatever. Quit bashing your head against walls for martial arts."
The blinding light that could've scorched eyes faded, and I yanked the sword from the Heavenly Demon (or what was left)—still rigidly seated, charred like coal. The blade was cracked and chipped, barely holding form, but enough to slice charred flesh.
Crunch! Thwack!
Just to be sure, I split the head in two, then severed the neck.
Thud...!
Only then did his body collapse, spilling ash into the blood he'd made.
"......"
Clang.
Limit. I don't know limits, but this body—learning bad habits somewhere—staggered on its own. I jammed the sword into the ground and slumped against it. Embarrassing—he'd stayed upright till the end. Couldn't sprawl ugly like some chump. That was my last shred of pride and stubbornness.
"......"
Rumble...!
Thunderclouds that had grazed overhead earlier dumped another bolt far off.
Crunch. Splatter.
"......"
Blood-matted hair bugged me, so I raised my left arm to wipe it—damn thing's on strike too. Fine, vacation time now that it's over. Lifetime leave. Sorry we met, never see you again.
Wanted to say it aloud, but tongue and vocal cords struck too—no voice left. Always my brilliant brain suffering alone. World doesn't get it, body won't follow.
Worried about badmouthing the Heavenly Demon? That was to piss him off, obviously. That face... should've made portraits and plastered the Central Plains.
......
.........
............
.............. Slurp!
Ah, Daddy's not sleeping. Seemed like someone across the river called my name twice... nah, imagination. Only river here's the blood river, and no living soul to call me.
"......"
Really down to the wire now—past memories flooded in unbidden. Dark night. Snow-white moonlight. Black silk hair. Glowing pale nude amidst it. Blood-red eyes. a curved red moon smiling or mournful.
...Sigh. All this suffering for one night. Men gotta pick women wisely. No—women too with men. Scratch that. Just pick good people. Handsome, pretty... tall too.
Weigh personality, values, background carefully. Even if lonely, homeless, broke as shit... nothing at all.
Or you'll end up like me—blindsided in some godforsaken place, beat a sword-wielding psycho claiming to be heaven's devil, then die alone, pathetic and lonely.
Really got my nose pierced good...
What was that woman anyway. ...Damn, she was pretty though.
... Rumblerumble...!
Lightning no longer lit the surroundings as I pondered to the thunder. Ah, perfect dying weather. Cola and a chicken would leave no regrets.
That was the last thought of me, the Thunderclap Sword Sovereign.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
What the hell's beeping? Eyes stinging bright. God, am I in heaven? Worth the brutal fight.
No high hopes, cracked my eyes. Unadapted eyes met pure white light. From round things. Rebirth vibe light.
...Wait, why adapt to light? And those rounds... night pearls? No...
"...Hold up, that's a lightbulb."
Round panel, gleaming like Shaolin monks' bald heads.
"Hm? Awake?"
"......? —!"
Sudden voice beside me nearly made me scream. Staring was an old freak, clearly unhinged. Wild white hair, bulging mismatched eyes. Yellow teeth gleaming mad.
"Heh heh... Should've stayed asleep, for your sake."
White robes caked in god-knows-what, original color lost.
"Gahhh! Madman!"
Perfectly insane, hovering between doctor and scientist—I screamed on instinct. Among the demonic heads and evil faction scum I'd fought, none matched this freakish look. Even the two-headed mad demon looked normal!
"Though waking's more my hobby."
Slurp. Green fluorescent tongue licked lips as wildly as his face—nearly fainted. Psycho. Did a future Demonic Cult kidnap me while out?
Amid chaos, I tried channeling inner energy to smash the old demon bastard's skull—huge problem.
"...No, no. No, no."
No inner energy in this body. Arms and legs, though—back in place.
Lose inner energy gain limbs vs. lose limbs gain inner energy. Ask me that, I'll crack your skull. Sadly, I asked myself.
Negotiate first. Looks crazy, but maybe reasonable?
"Sir, let's talk."
"You talkative now? Ignored me till now. Let me see... test subject..."
"No, sir. We're civilized, we can talk— what? Test subject?"
Wait, what'd he say?
"...Number... what was it...?"
"You punk, what? Test subject? Who the fuck made me—!"
Whirr. Click.
My outraged shout cut short. The mad science demon's eye popped out into a magnifier.
"Screeching like a canary. Without anesthesia, you'll scream even sweeter?"
Slurp, tongue flicking like he tasted something good, closing in. Me, ever calm and serious? This perv freak yanked panic right out.
"Sir, let's find common ground. I'm ready to negotiate right—"
Trembling voice, desperate words.
Clank. Whiiiir!
Ignoring me, his arms split—metal tools burst out. Circular saw, chisel, maul, hammer. Scariest: high-speed saw whipping air pressure.
Kiiiiing!!
"You bastard!! Stay back!! Don't come closer!! Please, sir, nooooooo!!!"
Screeeeech!!