Say Hello to Father Fist
A figure cloaked in a traveling windbreaker stepped forward, walking slowly toward us.
"If you're butting in out of some pointless sense of justice," Jin Hwi snapped, "you had better—"
Without a word, the cloaked man reached into his robes and produced a medallion. Inscribed upon its metallic surface was a single, striking character: Martial.
With a smooth rustle of fabric, he spoke in a calm, resonant cadence. "I am Wun Hyun, Inspector of the Murim Alliance. Cease this brawl at once, both of you."
Jin Hwi jerked his wrist out of my grip and hastily cupped his hands in a flustered salute.
"J-Jin Hwi, Young Sect Master of Muyoung Gate, pays his humble respects to Inspector Wun Hyun, Great Hero of the Alliance...!"
Wun Hyun—now that was a name even I was familiar with.
Originally a Plum Blossom Swordsman hailing from the Mount Hua Sect, he had distinguished himself twenty years ago during the catastrophic war against the Demonic Cult. That valor had earned him a prestigious seat within the Alliance at a remarkably young age, along with a formidable moniker: the Single Character Plum Blossom Sword.
Ranked prominently among the World's Top 100 Masters, his renown was staggering. The reason this pampered brat was sweating through his fine silk wasn't merely that the man was an Alliance Inspector; Wun Hyun's terrifying martial prestige was the true culprit.
Before long, those sharp, experienced eyes drifted toward me.
...Don't tell me he expects me to bow and scrape, too? Despite that stoic demeanor, he's surprisingly fond of formalities.
Reluctantly, I offered a casual clasp of my hands.
"Jeong Ho-yeon, master to Jegal So-yeong, greets the Alliance Inspector."
I gave the girl beside me a subtle nod, and she quickly followed suit with a polite curtsy.
"I am Jegal So-yeong, youngest daughter of the Jegal Clan."
"Would it not be wise for both of you to lay this quarrel to rest?" Wun Hyun observed with a dry, measured tone. "I have watched from afar for some moments, and it appears both sides share the blame."
"...My sincerest apologies, Great Hero, but I cannot let this slide!" Jin Hwi protested vehemently. "That insolent vagrant dared insult the name of Muyoung Gate! This is a duel concerning our sect's very honor!"
He puffed out his chest and pointed an accusing finger, posturing as though he were a valiant crusader defending justice. Anyone walking in right now would have thought we were ruthless thugs bullying an innocent youth.
So-yeong bristled beside me, her temper flaring.
"What kind of utter nonsense is that?! You were the one sneering at us first! And then you raised your hand to strike me—"
"I did no such thing, Young Lady. I had no intention of striking you; my hand simply happened to rise at that exact instant."
"Y-You shameless liar...!!"
It was the most absurd, slippery excuse imaginable, but technically his palm had never connected, leaving her sputtering without definitive proof.
In the midst of their bickering, Wun Hyun stole another subtle glance in my direction before looking away. ...Why does this guy keep sneaking peeks at me? Does my internal energy look so pathetic that he thinks I'm destined to end up as paste on the cobblestones? Good grief, everyone in the Jianghu treats raw qi like it's the beginning and end of combat. Well, not that it isn't crucial, but isn't he staring a little too blatantly?
After a brief moment of contemplation, Wun Hyun offered a solution.
"If both parties are truly resolved to settle this through martial contest, why not move this affair to the Jegal Clan's training grounds rather than the public streets? There, you may conduct an honorable and orderly duel."
Smelling an opportunity to flex, Jin Hwi seized on the proposal without hesitation.
"An excellent suggestion, Great Hero. Surely you aren't planning to tuck your tail and run now, are you?"
Convinced that an obscure nobody with negligible internal energy was an easy stepping stone, his handsome face practically radiated smug overconfidence.
Not that I minded in the least. Changing the venue wouldn't change the outcome—he was still getting his teeth kicked in.
"Run from what? Like I told you earlier, I can fold you in half with one hand tied behind my back, you scrub."
"You arrogant bastard, to the bitter end—!!"
Shring—
Goaded past his boiling point, Jin Hwi went to draw his steel, but Wun Hyun's hand clamped down around his wrist like an iron shackle.
"Restrain yourself."
"Khk... Understood..."
And so, we relocated to the Jegal Clan's spacious martial arts arena. Within the wide open training ground stood myself, Jin Hwi, and Wun Hyun, while the rest of the spectators watched closely from beyond the wooden railings.
Before we took our stances, the Inspector laid down the conditions.
"To prevent needless tragedy, the use of internal energy and live steel is strictly prohibited. Do either of you object?"
Evidently convinced that losing was an impossibility, Jin Hwi answered with chest-thumping bravado.
"None at all, Great Hero. Expending internal energy on someone of his meager caliber would be an insult to my training anyway."
I said nothing, merely picking up a weighted wooden practice sword from the rack and testing its balance.
"Very well. Begin."
The instant the command fell, Jin Hwi opened his mouth to sneer.
"I'm impressed you didn't flee into the gutters where you belong. If you get on your knees and beg like a dog right now, I might show mercy and stop after breaking just one of your arms."
"...Man, it's been ages since I held a wooden sword," I mused, rolling my shoulders. "Used to swing these things until my hands were raw back in the day."
"Hah! Spouting nonsense until the very end. I will trample you into the dirt right before the young lady's eyes!"
"For a disciple of an orthodox sect, you sure sound identical to an unhinged demon cultist. Does your daddy know you talk like this?"
"You dead dog, how dare you—!!"
Whoosh—!
"Wuseong Sword Art, Third Stance: Drifting Wind Scatters the Clouds!"
Like a bank of clouds dispersed by an incoming gale, his practice sword lunged toward me in a rapid flurry of arcs. Yet beneath the flashy momentum, the execution was remarkably crude. The overextended footwork and clumsily blended feints reeked of cheap theatricality—pure vanity prioritized over lethal intent.
I held my ground, parrying each trajectory with minimal effort.
Clack! Thwack! Tock!
"Khk! Defending adequately, are you? It seems your mouth wasn't entirely writing checks your body couldn't cash!"
Bounding backward several paces to reset his stance, he kicked off the flagstones and surged in again.
"Wuseong Sword Art, Sixth Stance: Gale Pierces the Bitter Frost!"
The second attempt was no different. An offensive art built on razor-sharp velocity demanded tight, compact motions. Instead, the fool flared his elbows wide for dramatic flair. It might have looked dashing to an impressionable noble daughter, but to an experienced fighter, his torso was a walking target riddled with glaring openings.
He was so thoroughly intoxicated by pretty choreography that he had neglected the absolute fundamentals.
Watching his flailing form brought back fond memories of Master Namgung's harsh reprimands ringing in my ears.
—Ho-yeon, you little bastard! How dare you chase flashy variations when your basic stances still look like a drunken monkey's?!
—Come on, Old Man! I've been grinding the Three Talents Sword Technique for two whole years! Isn't it about time I learn something that looks cool?!
Whenever I complained back then, that stubborn old swordsman would repeat the exact same lesson until my eardrums threatened to burst: Master the horizontal slash, the vertical cleave, and the straight thrust. Execute those three movements with absolute precision, and you can conquer anyone beneath the heavens.
Meanwhile, my opponent was panting like a winded mule, his breath ragged from wasting all his stamina on frantic, empty swings. In contrast, having done nothing but deflect with minor wrist adjustments, I hadn't broken a single drop of sweat.
"Haaah... haah... What demonic sorcery did you use to deflect my blade...?!"
"So whenever you can't hit someone, it's sorcery? Classic scrub mentality. What, are you done already?"
"You...!!"
"All flash and zero substance. Hollow through and through. Give So-yeong over there a single month of basic drills, and she'd mop the floor with you."
Blood rushed to his face in a furious tide, staining his pale cheeks a violent shade of crimson.
"Fine! If you're so eager to die, I'll grant your wish right here!!"
Blind with humiliation, he completely discarded the rules and channeled genuine internal energy into his practice blade, hurtling toward me with killing intent.
"Halt immediately—"
Wun Hyun began to shout, stepping forward to intervene, but I caught his eye with a sharp glare, subtly shaking my head. Why would I want the referee to stop the match now? Because from this moment onward, I had full moral justification to beat this punk into a pulp. Hehehe.
Did you think I was playing defensive earlier just for fun? Of course not. If the spoiled brat broke the agreement first, our esteemed Alliance Inspector wouldn't have a single leg to stand on when I retaliated.
"Wuseong Swor—!"
CRACK—!!
"Gaaagh...!!"
My wooden blade smashed clean through his guard, splintering his weapon and sending him sprawling across the dirt. Watching him roll in the gravel while clutching the broken hilt, the snicker I'd been bottling up finally burst out.
"Pwahaha! You know, wooden swords have a pretty nice heft to them. Nothing beats bare knuckles, sure, but the impact feels surprisingly solid."
I slowly raised the intact practice sword over my shoulder, looming over his pathetic form with a broad, beaming grin.
"So now... I don't have to worry about holding back either, right? Fair's fair, wouldn't you say?"
As I wound up my swing, Jin Hwi panicked, wildly twisting his neck toward the sidelines.
"W-Wait... Great Hero!! Stop the duel this inst—"
Wun Hyun pointedly swiveled his gaze away, staring at the sky as if deeply fascinated by the cloud formations.
"G-Great Hero...?"
"Looks like your Great Hero agrees that you desperately need a beating. Well then, sweet dreams."
WHOOSH—!
WHACK! THUD! CRACK! ...
"Aaaaaghh!!"
For a good long while, I thoroughly tenderized every square inch of his body with that wooden stave.
Snap—
"...Did I hit him too hard? The wood broke. Hmm, I almost feel a little guilty. Guess I should wrap it up here."
Just as I tossed the splintered grip aside and prepared to turn away, a venomous, choked voice rasped from the dirt.
"Once my father arrives, you are a dead man...!! No, I will have him shatter all your meridians and turn you into a helpless cripple so you can rot in misery for the rest of your pathetic life!!"
I paused mid-stride, stroking my chin in deep thought.
Was I shaking in my boots from his dire threat, you ask? Ah, you misunderstand completely. Fear had nothing to do with what I was pondering. I was merely contemplating which angle would provide the most ergonomic leverage to cave his skull in.
Unfortunately, the bloody mess on the ground shared that exact same misunderstanding, a bruised and broken smirk creeping onto his lips.
"Heheh... I-If you prostrate yourself right now and beg for forgiveness, maybe I'll ask my father to spare your worthless life..."
"Man, spoiled brats never grow up, do they? A grown-ass man like you, and you're still crying for your daddy?"
"It's too late to act tough—"
"No, quite the opposite. I actually agree with you. Educating an unruly child is entirely the responsibility of the father. So... let me call your daddy over for you right now. Come on in, sir!"
I turned toward the training ground gates and gestured grandly. Naturally, not a single soul crossed the threshold.
"What are you—"
I clenched my right fist until the knuckles popped, shoving the massive, calloused ball of iron right into his swollen face.
"Say hello. This is Father Fist."
"W-Wait, hold on—!!"
SWOOSH—!
BAM! CRUNCH! POW! THUD! ...
I pounded his face into the dirt without a single thought until Wun Hyun finally blurred across the arena and firmly caught my forearm.
"Young man, your hand was far too severe. If the Sect Master of Muyoung Gate learns of this, he will not take it lying down."
I glanced down at the heap beneath my boots. Jin Hwi's immaculate, pretty-boy face had been thoroughly remodeled into lumpy red bean paste.
"Do you think we could pass it off by claiming he was born looking like that...?"
I peeked up at Wun Hyun, only to find the righteous Alliance Inspector staring at me as though I were an escaped maniac from an asylum.
"...Yeah, guess that won't fly, huh?"
"You have quite the talent for stating the blindingly obvious with utmost gravity."
If I offer an apology right now, do you think he'll let me off the hook...?