Chapter 15
Chapter 15
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: When a Good Person Gets Angry (2)
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Ermina Cassias woke up with a vicious headache. Since she had grown accustomed to it lately, she took a sip of the water she had prepared beside her bed beforehand.
Drinking the chilled water didn't make the headache disappear, nor did it shake the unpleasant nightmare from her mind, but without even this much, she wouldn't have felt like getting out of bed at all.
She rose from the sweat-soaked bed and headed to the bathroom, stripped off her clothes, and poured lukewarm water over the crown of her head.
"Ugh."
The weather wasn't pleasantly warm, so a brief chill ran through her, but it was enough to somewhat sharpen her senses.
She sank down in the bathroom and sat there for a while under the stream of water, quietly reflecting on the dream.
In the dream, Julius, worn out by his fiancée Rias Calamity's infidelity and misdeeds, met her—a version of him darker and more forlorn than the one she knew—and they talked.
Weighed down by the heavy expectations around him and scolded for his fiancée's issues on one side, while she gradually lost confidence in her own excessive talents on the other, they kept crossing paths and fell in love.
Supporting each other, they regained their confidence, ultimately succeeded in publicly denouncing Rias's wrongs and calling off the engagement, overcame the occasional crises that arose, and in the end, reached a happy conclusion.
It was always the same dream. As if insisting that's how it should have been all along.
"No..."
But reality was different. Julius was someone who exceeded the expectations placed on him and accomplished what was asked of him. Far from decadent, he was bright and splendid, and he had the patience and tolerance to endure his fiancée's faults.
The reason she had come to like him, despite it being beyond her station, was precisely because of that side of him.
She rubbed her face with both hands under the pouring water to snap herself out of it. Before her thoughts could sink even deeper into depression, she hurriedly finished her shower, got dressed, and prepared to head out.
It was the weekend, but today was the day she had promised to visit the orphanage she went to every month, so she had to move quickly.
Once she finished preparing and stepped outside, the quiet air of the weekend academy greeted Ermina. As she slowly walked out of the dormitory, the plaza—which was usually bustling—was calm today, with most students sleeping in like typical holiday revelers.
"Ah, Senior Ermina."
"Karin."
The daughter of the Udette Trading Company, one of her patrons, was sitting in the plaza chatting with two friends.
From Ermina's perspective, she was someone she was grateful to in many ways, but hearing recently that Rias had bullied her again made her feel unnecessarily ashamed.
As she pondered how to break the slightly awkward atmosphere, a familiar voice called from behind.
"Long time no see. Ermina."
"...Senior Namei."
"Personally, I wasn't eager to see you. Funny how that works, huh?"
At her words—clearly from one of the two people in the academy, excluding Rias, who hated her the most—Ermina fell silent.
There had been a time when she envied Namei for being so personally close to Julius, but looking back now, it had been presumptuous of her.
She needed to seriously consider why Namei hadn't approached Julius more than necessary.
"Off to the orphanage again today?"
"Yes."
"Haha. I thought you were heading out to meet Julius, but it's not just for that reason?"
"...Not exactly."
"So that is part of the reason?"
"Yes. Honestly, it is."
Namei smirked at the bold response and made a shooing gesture with her hand. Ermina gave Karin a quick nod and headed toward the academy's main gate.
From behind her came Namei's slightly bitter mutter.
"If you'd acted like that from the start, things might have turned out better."
She had a vague idea of what that meant, so she gritted her teeth in frustration and hurried outside.
It was true that her dithering around Julius's circle without committing had only made the problems worse.
She relaxed her stiff expression and walked the familiar monthly path to the orphanage run by the city church. Since she'd be meeting the children, she tied her hair back for ease of movement.
She greeted the owner of the fruit shop she often passed and bought a few treats for the kids.
She knew the church-run orphanage wasn't in dire financial straits, but she believed there was meaning in giving the children gifts in itself.
No, that was something he had said.
'Not having parents really means not having anyone who's always on your side, no matter what. Even if you've lost your parents, if there's no one who understands you, you're no different from an orphan. On the flip side, if you have supporters, there's that much less reason to despair over your situation.'
"So it's important to show the kids that you'll help them with anything, anytime."
Unusually for someone from a high noble family, he didn't mind mingling with children, and his words stuck strangely in her memory. The way he spoke as if recounting his own story—was it related to his family circumstances?
She reined in her mind before it could turn gloomy again and entered the church, where the nun who mainly managed the orphanage came out to greet her.
"You're here again this month!"
"Yes. I figured the kids would be waiting."
"Ahaha. They do ask every time when you're coming. Some even ask about Julio."
"...He's a busy person."
"Are you two not seeing each other much?"
"Yes."
"Oh my."
The nun, Lucia, covered her mouth. Though she worked at the church, she wasn't high-ranking and kept her distance from worldly powers, so she didn't know much about the academy incidents.
Visibly flustered by the unexpected answer, she turned her head slightly to change the subject. Her blue bob haircut shook about, mirroring her embarrassment.
"Well, just looking at his manners and demeanor, Julio seemed like a capable man. If there were more like him, I might even consider leaving the cloth."
"Ah, haha. He was really popular. Though he kept a certain distance from women other than his fiancée."
"That's gentlemanly too. No wonder your eyes are all sweet on him, Ermina. But you know you shouldn't touch a man who's engaged, right?"
She couldn't laugh at those words. She had known he was engaged and tried not to show it, but apparently, even someone she saw once a month could tell.
Swallowing her rising self-loathing, she headed inside, where the children, who had been spending time freely in their room, stood up upon seeing her.
The closest one to her, Nia, came running first, and the other children gathered around.
She handed the bought fruits to Lucia and distributed snacks they could eat right away. The kids, more interested in food than her, grabbed their snacks and dashed off, while a few, including Nia, settled around her and started clinging.
In a world dangerous enough that ordinary people had to worry just to live safely, many who ventured out to earn money by facing risks never returned. That's how children ended up orphaned and gathered in places like this.
"I wish you came more often, sis."
"I'll make time to visit after the semester ends."
"Can't Brother Julio come?"
"He seems really busy lately and can't come out easily."
"Then you must miss him a lot too."
"Huh? Why?"
"You always pretended not to, but you only had eyes for Brother Julio. Everyone could tell you like him. How far have you two gone?"
"Yeah. I'll just... go to the bathroom for a bit."
Her steps faltered. It was a place she visited often, so she found her way despite her unsteady gait, but once she locked the door and got inside, her legs gave out.
She thought she hadn't shown her feelings. Even if she liked him, she believed it could never happen.
But if even the nun she saw once a month, and children who knew little of love, could notice her heart, then all her efforts to hide it had been meaningless.
"I'm sorry."
First loves were clumsy, but that excuse wouldn't fly after coming this far.
She had tried her best to hide it, but it had been obvious to everyone.
As a result, a visible rift had formed between Prince Christoph and Julius, and Rias had monopolized the attention of Christoph—the one Ermina admired—while harboring malice toward her for approaching her fiancé Julius.
And this was the outcome.
If only she had been a little more mature.
If only she had hidden her feelings a bit better.
If only she had given up on her love a little sooner.
No matter how many possibilities she imagined, the real him had already left this place.
He had left Rias, left Namei, left Ermina.
For the first time in nearly a year of knowing him, with that utterly fed-up expression.
"Hic, ugh. Urk."
She was sick of her own immaturity and foolishness. Overwhelmed by nausea, she dry-heaved over the toilet several times.
Tears streamed down endlessly, until there was nothing left to come out.