Chapter 141
Chapter 141
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 141
Chapter Title: Cutting Water with a Knife (1)
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"Are we just going to head straight there?"
"Frankly, it's hard to find anywhere safer than by your side."
"I'm not even an imperial subject."
"That doesn't change the fact that you're the most trustworthy person around."
Because His Imperial Majesty had insisted so strongly, I now sat alone with her inside the carriage, facing each other.
There were several reasons, but the biggest issue was that everyone who needed to know already knew the Emperor's location—including the demon tribe.
The Pallan Empire's situation was reasonably stable, but those in power always had someone gunning for their neck, no matter where or when.
If it were a carriage openly escorted by the Royal Guard Captain, that might be different, but targeting our group—which looked downright shabby at a glance—made it hard to guarantee the Emperor's safety definitively.
In the end, we'd decided that the Emperor riding in the smallest carriage with me serving as her escort would suffice.
No major problems had arisen so far, but with unresolved threats like the demon tribe culprit we hadn't caught and the nobles who'd stirred up this mess, we couldn't let our guard down.
"Mind if I indulge a little?"
"If I said no, would you stop?"
"Ahem."
"As long as it's not dangerous, do whatever you want."
"Heehee."
In the cramped space barely wide enough for two to sit side by side, she scooted over to my side and laid her head right on my thigh.
Seeing her looking so delighted, I could only manage a wry smile.
She glanced up at my face, then lay back facing sideways with a snicker.
Even though the position clearly looked uncomfortable, she murmured as she opened her mouth.
"You always have that sullen expression. You do."
"That's exactly how I feel—sullen."
"Is it any wonder so many people like you?"
"No. Honestly, yeah. I think it's pretty strange."
"To be frank, I thought you'd be skilled at romance between men and women."
"I can handle the outward appearances competently enough."
My hand unconsciously reached for the silver hair draped over my thigh, and when my fingers touched it, she gave a slight twitch of her shoulders in surprise.
"If you want to touch it, go ahead."
"Thank you."
How many people in the world could boast of playing with the Emperor's hair? With the previous Emperor having passed early and the Empress even earlier, I was surely the only one permitted such a thing now.
She grinned, perhaps feeling a bit ticklish, and spoke.
"Have you ever been in love?"
"No. Probably not."
"Ever felt sexual desire for a woman?"
"Not really that either."
"Then what's troubling you?"
"I still don't really know what the feeling of love is."
Is it a passionately burning emotion?
Or just the sense of security from having someone by your side?
The happiness that wells up at the mere thought?
Or the natural lust that arises when thinking of the other person?
And since I'd never felt any of those, was I just born without knowing how to love?
"You."
"Yes."
"You're still trapped in your shell. You should have learned to distinguish affection back in childhood, nurtured by your parents' love."
"...I've never experienced being loved."
"The Duke of Lebedev was a failure as a father, too."
My parents from my previous life, too.
And after losing my one friend, being unable to form any deep bonds I could truly trust.
My father in this life, as well.
All relationships too barren for me to grasp what love truly was.
"But I can promise you one thing."
"What might that be?"
"The moment you break out of that shell just once—even if it's only once—you'll become warmer than anyone else."
I fell silent.
"You know the life of a soul wounded from not being loved. You don't know how to love, but you do know it's possible to lose someone precious. You understand the quagmire of emotions that those who've lived haughtily, high above the world in comfort their whole lives, could never comprehend. That's why you can reach out a hand to those in the lowest places."
"...Is that a prepared line?"
"No. It's something I've thought about often. I don't know what will trigger it, but I hope you have an experience that fills that flaw inside you and lets new flesh grow over it."
"Yeah. Honestly, I still have no confidence."
"And that's why I want a man warmer and more loving than anyone else in the world right by my side."
"So it was all calculated after all."
"I'd prefer you call it a strategic investment. You're already an outstanding man overflowing with qualities as it is, but I'm convinced you'll become even greater in the future."
The Emperor said that and closed her eyes.
I leaned back against the rear wall of the carriage and shut my eyes for a moment as well. To be honest, it felt like tears might well up.
Big Sis Mina, who liked my behavior and personality.
Big Sis Leimi, who'd come to like me after years of acquaintance and deep understanding.
And Her Imperial Majesty, waiting at the destination, believing I'd accept my weakness and overcome it.
They were undoubtedly precious people to me now.
But romantic feelings toward the opposite sex.
Not agape for all humanity, but love directed at an individual—I still couldn't grasp it.
With both of us eyes closed and silent, only the rattling of the carriage remained.
**
After much deliberation, Yustina reached a conclusion. If her father and brother clashed, at least someone needed to mediate between them.
Rias was out of the question, and Ermina was one of the causes of the incident, so excluded.
That left bringing someone from Astraea who could tell her about her brother's life there.
The one selected was Karin, with her two friends as a bonus.
"For that reason, we'll come along."
"Uh, the Shopkeeper's father..."
"Personally, I'm interested in seeing the Lebedev family myself."
"As long as I don't have to do anything weird."
Neither Natalie nor Sophia seemed dissatisfied, and crucially, Karin—though tense for slightly different reasons—didn't refuse.
"Wait, is your relationship with your father really that bad?"
"To the point where if a demon who hasn't done anything wrong and my father were both in mortal danger, he'd save the demon first."
"That's serious."
In fact, before entering the Academy—back when he was still a minor— he'd communicated with demons, accommodated their daily needs, and been extremely lenient toward any who didn't cause trouble.
The demons, initially suspicious, had built up a level of trust after three years of consistent kindness.
The group most regretful about her brother's departure might have been the civilian demons—non-combatants living ordinary lives.
Yustina shook off the melancholy and spoke.
"Among the Academy folks, you're the one who knows best about my brother's life in Astraea, right, Karin?"
"Well... yeah?"
"Father will want to hear it."
"Eek. But the Shopkeeper said you two don't get along."
"That's exactly why we need you. My brother would never talk about what he's been up to now, even on his deathbed."
Satisfied to see her nod in understanding, Yustina made the request to Sophia and Natalie as well.
"About the Academy raid the other time."
"Yes. I'll handle it."
The unexpectedly enthusiastic response left Yustina momentarily stunned, but she quickly regained her composure and continued.
"We're leaving this weekend, so pack your things and meet at the Academy's main gate. I'll handle the teleportation gate and preparations for life at Lebedev."
"Got it."
"My father might seem strict and intimidating on the surface, so try not to get too nervous."
Weekend. Weekend. Weekend.
Time was short. She wanted to meet her brother face-to-face and talk if possible, but that was clearly impossible.
In the end, to prevent their relationship from fracturing irreparably—shattering beyond repair—she had to act swiftly.
There was a chance her brother might never return.
But Lebedev had to remain a place he could come back to anytime.
"My words carry no weight."
The daughter who'd only followed her father's words.
The sister who'd wasted time without properly noticing the pain her brother had endured.
Just an obedient daughter and an oblivious little sister who hadn't understood her brother's struggles.
No matter what she said to either side, it would ring hollow.
That's why she needed someone to tell her father about her brother's worries and the life he'd lived.
"...What about Senior Ermina?"
Truth be told, 80% of her worries stemmed from Ermina.
Her brother, who'd subtly treated her well, might benefit from her presence—but if her father flew into a maximum rage at the main culprit, there'd be no way to intervene.
In a straight fight, Yustina herself was the weakest in Lebedev.
Could she drag her there without any shield to protect her?
After a moment's hesitation, Yustina squeezed her eyes shut and headed to Ermina's dormitory.
No matter what, her top priority—without needing to deliberate—was her brother.
Weighing Ermina's feelings against her brother's reconciliation, the scales tipped naturally.