Chapter 115
Chapter 115
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 115
Chapter Title: Superior-Subordinate Love (3)
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"History books? That's awfully sudden."
"Yes. Not recent ones if possible—something really old."
I figured there was a high chance the palace's internal magic would detect me as an intruder if I went in person, so I hid the Emperor's dummy in her bedroom and invited her over at night.
She came through the transfer gate with this ridiculously excited look on her face. What could I even say? I'm in my mid-twenties now, but watching the Emperor—who's barreling toward thirty with her seniors—makes me think...
Anyway, she started off all bubbly, but as soon as I got into the main topic, her face turned serious again.
I sent Karin inside since she'd probably just hear bad things if she stuck around. We were talking in the dark of night, with just the cafe's one light glowing.
"Even I can't just check out imperial history books on a whim. Could you at least tell me why?"
"It's a bit complicated."
I don't know the Pallan Empire's history all that well myself, but I summed up the info I'd found and passed it on. The Emperor listened with a somewhat bored expression.
"That's ancient history. Sure, there are records of goddesses and miracles, but even I can't say much about miracles that old, and there's no guarantee the records are accurate."
"Well, I'm in a position where I have to chase down any lead I can."
"Fair enough. I suppose I can make it happen."
"Thank you."
"In return... could you grant me one favor...?"
"Can I hear what it is first before answering?"
"No, it's nothing big. Later. Just... later. Anyway, with all this going on, won't most of your movements end up known to me regardless?"
"I wouldn't want that, but yeah, probably."
"So if you ever have no intention of returning to the kingdom... I'd love it if you settled down in the Empire."
Ah.
So that's what it was. I'd already been planning to stay here anyway, so I nodded without much burden. No real desire to see my father, the princess, or the kingdom again in my lifetime.
I nodded, and the Emperor let out a laugh.
Sigh. Emotions like this always show right on her face in the worst way. She's a proper Emperor most of the time, but when it's just us two, she gets all weird.
I do need to think about my budding romance issues, but story first...
No, at this rate, it's gonna explode like at the Academy.
A sudden chill ran down my neck, and I rubbed it. At the Academy, the students didn't have much authority, so it ended with me suffering. But from Big Sis Mina to Her Majesty the Emperor, these are people who could make the whole world suffer if they wanted.
I need to sort this out.
"...I'd like to talk more openly about something too."
"Oh? Go ahead."
"How far have you thought this through with me?"
My words made the Emperor's face freeze solid.
Her eyes spun around before fixing on the right corner of the room, and she mumbled something tiny.
"...Would you say yes if I told you?"
"It'd feel weird saying it myself, but my relationships with women are complicated even here. Keeping in vague contact without commitment doesn't feel right."
"Honestly... super honestly... marriage...?"
"...For real?"
"Ahem. Yeah."
"You mean it?"
"...Why do you keep asking?"
We haven't interacted all that much, and as Emperor, she has plenty of options. I couldn't figure out why she'd say something like this to me specifically.
In the dark night, under the orange lantern light, her flushed face stood out clearly. I let out a sigh.
"D-Do you hate it? An older woman getting ahead of herself with expectations...?"
"No. I don't hate it. I don't hate it at all. Sigh. I just don't know what to do myself."
"Do we really need to decide right now...?"
"Things blew up at the Academy too, you know."
Human relationships are still so tricky.
I wasn't in the mood for coffee, but feeling conflicted, I got up for a moment and grabbed a liqueur I'd made for Dras originally.
Despite my impatience, I took my time making two cocktails, going by feel more than any set recipe.
I wanted something visually stunning over taste, so I poured carefully into large glasses to show the layers.
"...What a weird hobby."
"But it's nice, right? People's senses matter. Something that lets any of the five senses say 'good' or 'beautiful'."
"I get that. We sometimes forget, but a life without beauty has no meaning. Even the poor, weak, and ignorant blooming their own beauty—nothing more important."
"I wasn't thinking that philosophically. Anyway, it looks good, doesn't it?"
"Mm."
She took a sip and let out a smirk.
Her laugh seemed loaded with layers of meaning, so I sat back down and downed mine. It was improvised, so no gasps of awe, but decent ingredients kept the alcohol bite mild despite the strength.
"Now, take a look."
"Hm?"
"Do I look beautiful to you?"
"...Your looks go without saying."
"What about my life and inner self?"
"The arrogant side rubs me wrong a bit."
Maybe the booze, but with her face still red, she pouted and flopped sideways on the table, complaining at me.
"Can't help it sometimes when I'm in power struggles with those damn old fogeys."
"You've been intense since your younger days."
"Eek. Really?"
"Yeah. Why do you think I ran away when you first came here?"
"Now I have nothing to say."
She turned her head away on the table, facing the opposite direction. Weak to alcohol, maybe.
But with her head turned, one hand still gripping my collar—it showed she wasn't here as Emperor right now.
"If... just if I fixed my attitude, what then?"
"...Gratitude would outweigh like or dislike."
"Sneaky words."
"I've been thinking that lately too."
Being kind to everyone, forgiving and enduring as much as possible—it's not wrong.
Can't fully separate personal fondness from rational affection either.
And more than that, something inside me broken since my past life seems to have lost the sense of loving or cherishing someone romantically.
My heart never raced or pulled me just from looking at someone.
"Might sound weird, but honestly, I still don't know. Don't even know what liking someone romantically feels like."
"Oh ho. Asexual in heart too? Music to my ears."
"That's a weird way to put it."
"At my age, I can say stuff like that. Ten years ago's green me, maybe not."
"You were just as imperial back then."
"Not a compliment, huh. Mind if I scoot closer?"
"...Go ahead."
Was refusing better for distance? While I froze, she dragged her chair right up and leaned on my shoulder, breath a bit boozy.
I'm not short, and she's tall too, so it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward.
"...You get the mood. Leaning drunk means next stage."
"Says the inexperienced one."
"I'd say I saved it preciously."
She lifted her head, downed her remaining drink, mine too, even poured unfinished whiskey for cocktails and emptied it. Then she spread her arms toward me.
"Hug me."
"Bedtime."
"Not going home."
"Servants faint if you're gone by morning."
"They'll think I vanished again."
No way, Little Bo Peep? Actual missing would be disaster.
Portal her back? But she started stumbling, drunk for real now, beyond playful.
No choice, I scooped her up. She buried her face blurry-eyed between my shoulder and neck, sucking then licking.
...Gonna leave a mark I can't hide.
To properly carry her dangling like that, I set her down a sec—she sat on the floor and stripped to underwear.
"Hot."
"Yeah yeah. Summer booze does that. Clothes on."
"Cool."
Drunk and wobbly, but strong—shook off my careful grip without hurting her, tore her own clothes.
This lady's drunk antics are no joke.
No choice, killed the lantern. In faint mutual sight, arms out like granting her wish, front-hug pose—she crawled toward me.
Finally clung on, I knocked her out quick and portaled her back.
Far as I know, other side's her private room—no embarrassment.
Nothing resolved, just learned a heavy affection tonight.
"Ah. Right. History books."
Failed the original goal too.