Bohemia Church (Complete)

Pig. Or in other words, orc—no, pigs are actually pretty clean animals, and these days orcs are quite gentlemanly, so calling this bald middle-aged guy charging at me while grunting like a pig or an orc might be an insult to them?

"I eat with the president and shit!"

"What? And?"

I faced the guy swinging a slap at my face... what should I call him? Ah! Chunky Uncle it is. I effortlessly hoisted Chunky Uncle—who was trying to slap me—onto my back and slammed him into the floor with a textbook ippon seoi nage.

"Gahk!"

"I've trained in judo for ten years, you know?"

Unless it was someone like Christine, a human weapon, I could easily take down a Chunky Uncle like this.

I could see the chat window floating around me. But even if H.E.R.A. had slapped on one of those AI-typical aggro titles, this was a brand-new account's live stream—how were people already watching?

"H.E.R.A.."

"What's the viewer count right now?"

Already over 170,000. That meant 170,000 people were watching this right now?

"H.E.R.A., it's a new account—how are there so many viewers?"

Honestly, ten? Even a hundred, I could get. But this account was brand new, and I'd only been live for under ten minutes. Yet when H.E.R.A. first ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠told me we'd hit 150,000, it was baffling. How?

"Haa..."

Sure enough, as H.E.R.A. said, Chunky Uncle grimaced from the impact but hauled himself up, grinning viciously at me.

"I won't forgive you!"

"Hey, that speech pattern's a no-go!"

I smashed my fist straight into the face of Chunky Uncle charging at me again. My prosthetic arm, a symbol of the golden pig, was forged from every tough metal imaginable—it wasn't just sturdy; it was on another level. They'd seized all my assets, but this prosthetic was the one thing they left me. I could see golden corn kernels—his cybernetic jaw—flying as my punch connected. Watching him crumple again, I flashed a grin and said,

"I've trained in striking arts for ten years too, you know."

Before Ae-ri plucked the Bohemia Church elder's golden corn—more precisely, right when H.E.R.A. started the stream.

"Yaaawn~! I need some dopamine!"

In N.Y.—Neo Yamato's Shinjuku—a woman in a fox mask yawned, craving her fix.

"No good material lately... screw it, time for some e-tubes."

The fox-masked woman hopped onto S-Tube, scrolling for a video to scratch her itch. One caught her eye.

"This one's... a live stream? Title's 'Live Exposé: The Ugly Truth of Bohemia Church Elder'? What the hell? Looks like a total troll account aggro bait."

Curiosity piqued, she tuned in. The feed opened on a woman in a cap and mask peering down from the ceiling.

"Shooting a movie or something?"

She chuckled and kept watching.

"Huh? For real?"

She'd dismissed it as bait, but it was legit. That Bohemia Church elder—she'd seen him next to Saint Iris Adler, the church leader, during her Yamato visit stream. And the next scene? The hot-topic cult elder groping a woman. No shock there.

"This is fun. And I'm the only viewer? Alright, time to cook this up."

She activated her AI and fired up her own S-Tube live stream.

"Halo~! KitsuneNe surprise appearance!"

"Guys, I've got something insane. Wanna see?"

(Roughly: the golden sun girl facing off against the piggish uncle)

"Great reactions, everyone. It's a live stream titled 'Live Exposé: The Ugly Truth of Bohemia Church Elder'—perfect material, right?"

"Don't say that—you make me sound like I only do fakes!"

"Drumroll! Don't freak out—gonna use this for my surprise comeback vid!"

"Alright, Dalongis. Do your thing like always. That's what makes it worth editing into a vid."

"That's it for KitsuneNe Surprise Live."

"Now we wait, right?"

KitsuneNe, S-Tube's top S-Tuber and cyber lecca—issue e-tuber extraordinaire—grinned slyly, anticipating her subscribers, the "Dalongis," to boost her fame even higher.

In the mere 5-10 minutes since Ae-ri—no, H.E.R.A.—went live, the net was exploding from the ripple effect. After KitsuneNe's surprise stream, crowds flocked to the original, and communities ignited.

And that was how Ae-ri's live stream rocketed past 170,000 viewers.

"Who the hell does a nobody like you think you are?"

I glanced at Chunky Uncle twitching on the floor, his face a mangled mess, then approached Ra Mi-yeon.

"Don't just stand there—go home."

"Uh, um... no."

Ra Mi-yeon started to say something, grabbed her clothes, and bolted from the room. I knew she was rude, but skipping even a thank-you? Rude.

"What?! Ra Mi-yeon?"

"Good."

I climbed to the ceiling fast. Moments later, people burst into the room.

"E-Elder!"

"This is Elder Im's room. Intruder?"

While they panicked below, I dashed to the treasure vault before more could swarm.

"Fuck?"

I landed at the treasure vault entrance—and was immediately surrounded.

"H.E.R.A.?"

This crazy AI! I scanned for a gap—none.

"This is bad."

"It's okay-da!"

No! That voice?!

Groans of "Gahk! Kraaak!" as fanatics flew like autumn leaves. At the center stood my savior, posed and ready.

"Christine! You're safe."

"Me invincible-da! ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Ha-yeon level suppress possible... wanted to say, but just immobilized for now-da. I'll hold here—get pendant before Ha-yeon snaps out-da!"

"Got it—thanks!"

While Christine blocked the fanatics, I slipped into the vault to hunt the pendant.

I looked where H.E.R.A. indicated: tiger-engraved pendant. Definitely Iho-cheol's.

"Pendant get!"

I snatched it, bolted out. Christine had subdued all the fanatics and was waiting.

"Found-nikka?"

"Yeah."

I dangled the pendant.

"Then escape-da."

"But Christine, you okay?"

"What mean-nikka?"

"You got nothing. I achieved my goal."

"Think later-da! No time-da!"

Christine grabbed my wrist and ran. As we fled, cries of "Christine!!!" echoed, but we were already gone.

"I-I'm ashamed!"

Im Jong-su, the elder at the heart of this fiasco, bowed before the overlooking Iris Adler.

"It's fine."

Iris smiled sweetly. "You're forgiven."

Elder Im brightened. "R-Really... you forgive me?"

"What's to forgive? Just take a vacation—one or two months."

"V-Vacation?!"

His face paled again.

"P-Please, not vacation!"

"Gu Deputy."

"Yes, Saintess."

Ignoring his pleas, Iris called Ha-yeon.

"Escort Elder Im 'politely' on his vacation."

"Understood."

Ha-yeon bowed, had the youth squad 'escort' him out courteously.

Alone in the basement, Iris let out a low, thrilled laugh.

"Entertaining me like this... Ae-ri... I'll remember you."

Ae-ri had... caught the eye of someone very dangerous.