A Woman's Tears — Can You Handle Them?
"Waaaah..... I'm dying, I'm actually dying....."
Three days since I'd been discharged from the medical hall, and I still hadn't been allowed out of my bedchamber.
Taking Moyong Hu's internal energy head-on was partly to blame, but the real problem was that I'd slipped into a trance of self-forgetting mid-duel and swung my sword without paying the slightest attention to my stamina.
"Why on earth did you push yourself so hard?"
Nari glared at me with reproachful eyes.
I did feel a twinge of guilt inside, but short of repeating myself, I didn't really have anything to say.
"How many times have I told you? I didn't have a choice."
"A choice? You could have held back plenty!"
I'd figured that would settle it, but when Nari suddenly raised her voice, it startled me clean out of my wits.
Whoa — what's gotten into her all of a sudden?
"Wh...what's the matter with you? Did you just yell at me?"
"Yes! I yelled! So what? I told you not to get hurt, didn't I!"
"I told you I have to prove what I can do if I want to learn martial arts quickly."
"Is that really so important? More important than your life? What if something had gone wrong!"
"Nothing went wrong, so it's fine."
Honestly, I did feel bad about ignoring what Nari had said. But admitting that to her face felt a little embarrassing, and anyway, I was alive, so I figured there was no real need to litigate the matter.
Nari, however, clearly saw no such need to let it go, and her voice only climbed higher.
So, for once in my life, I scowled. I appreciated that she worried about me. But worry had its limits too.
Word around the clan lately was that the Wang Clan and the Choe Clan would be preparing for war within a few years. In a time like that, I'd be at the vanguard if I stood anywhere at all — there'd be no posting in the rear for me.
If she pulled this again then, it would be a problem, so I couldn't help but be sharper-tongued than usual.
"Haah.... Hey. Give it a rest already. Are you me? Why are you the one making all the fuss?"
"Is martial arts really that important to you? More important than my words, more important than my worrying?"
"I said I'm fine. So just take my word for it."
At those words, Nari staggered back as if she'd been struck.
Take my word for it? Does this woman even know how much I hate hearing that? I'm always the one worrying over her, looking after her — is it possible that to her young lord, I'm nothing more than a maid who does as she's told?
Suddenly she was afraid. Afraid that to Mujin, she wasn't anyone special — just an obedient servant, nothing more.
The moment that thought took root, tears began to well up in her eyes.
"Sniff.... hnngh...."
"Huh? Hey, hey. You're not seriously crying, are you?"
Unable to grasp the depth of Nari's hurt, Mujin could only stumble backward, flustered by the sudden sobbing. But what was done was done.
There was no sweeping it back up now.
"Every day.... every single day you just tell me to take your word for it.... hnngh... and I was only worried about you.... why can't you see how I.... sob...."
Oh. Shit. I'm screwed.
I'd made a woman cry. Heat had rushed to my head for a split second and I'd blurted it out without thinking of the consequences. What was I supposed to do now? This had never happened to me before — I was completely at a loss.
"Hnngh.... sniff.... After all, I'm just a lowborn maid, aren't I.... That's why you brush off everything I say, isn't it? You're just like every other noble, my lord.... I'm.... I'm leaving."
"N...no, that's not what I meant, I really did have no choi— huh? You're leaving? Leaving for where?"
Wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, Nari answered.
"My hometown."
She sniffled.
Cheokhwagung — the Clan Mother's bedchamber.
"So. Nari means to leave, does she?"
"Yes, Mother. Is there any way you can fix this?"
I explained the fight with Nari to my mother, Cheok Hwaryeon. Who understands a woman's heart better than another woman, after all.
Haah.
Before Mujin had even finished his story, Cheok Hwaryeon let out a long sigh.
At first, she had been glad as a mother that he had come to seek her out on his own. When he brought up Nari, the fact that he'd confide in even her made the depth of their feelings for one another seem obvious, and it warmed her heart. And then — a fight.
What was more, the more she listened, the more one-sided the blame became. All of it on Mujin.
What sort of man says things like that to a woman who is worried about him? At the very least, he should have offered her something — even a hollow promise to listen from now on, even a simple apology — and instead he'd told her to just take his word for it.
Looking at her own son, who understood a woman's heart not at all — not even a little — Cheok Hwaryeon felt her mind begin to swim. In most respects, Mujin possessed an adult's full intelligence. And yet, strangely, in certain specific areas, he remained an eight-year-old boy.
And today, Cheok Hwaryeon learned one more thing: when it came to women, her son was exactly his age as well.
Of course, she had no way of knowing that Mujin was a reincarnator.
Mujin of his past life. Twenty-nine years old. Zero romantic experience. The reason he knew nothing about women wasn't that he was a child — it was simply that in his previous life, he had barely ever interacted with one.
"Sogaju. Go apologize to Nari. Now."
"If I apologize, will she calm down?"
"No."
"?"
What kind of nonsense is that? If an apology doesn't settle things, what's the point of apologizing? When I stared at Cheok Hwaryeon with an expression that plainly said I hadn't understood a word, a vein bulged on her forehead as she pressed on.
"Haah.... Listen carefully. Even if it doesn't calm her anger, you must apologize. If you do, Nari won't leave — for the time being."
"Hm? Then isn't she calmed down? You just said she'll stay."
"For the time being. I said for the time being."
Cheok Hwaryeon frowned — a rare sight indeed. It made me flinch.
Cheok Hwaryeon was usually the picture of gentleness and grace, but once she was angered, no one in the world could stop her.
Wang Inho never spoke of her in detail, but considering the thunderous crashes that occasionally rang out from Cheokhwagung, it was never hard to guess who was behind them.
"What matters is what comes after the apology. If, even after apologizing, you go on behaving exactly as before, Nari will be hurt far more deeply than she is now — and then she will leave."
"W...was it really that serious? I don't think my personality is going to change overnight, though."
"I know perfectly well your personality won't change. Just — lend an ear to what Nari says. That's all I ask. That is enough."
With that, Mujin left Cheokhwagung and headed for Nari's room. He could sense that the longer he stayed, the longer he talked, the worse the scolding would get.
So I just have to listen — no need to actually do anything? Or do I need to act on it too?
It was all vaguely baffling.
Having been short on luck with women since my previous life, I had no idea whatsoever how to treat them. The most I'd ever received was a few words of thanks from women I'd rescued, and the longest conversation I'd ever held with one was an argument with an innkeeper over the price of room and board.
A falling-out with Nari had, in truth, been inevitable from the start.
"Nari! I'm coming in, all right?"
I called out in front of her door. But no matter how long I waited, no answer came.
"Nari?"
Just in case she hadn't heard me, I tried again — but the door still showed no intention of opening.
After standing there for the better part of an hour like a dog that badly needed to go out, I spotted a familiar figure approaching in the distance.
"Sogaju-nim! Are your wounds healing well?"
That was how Moyong Hu opened his mouth.
Well, well, look at this bastard. Where was all that bluster when he was blasting his internal energy at me? And now he wants to play the doting well-wisher?
"Ah. I suppose. I learned a great deal that day."
Unable to spit out what I was actually thinking, I just gave him a careless reply. But Moyong Hu clung on, pressing the conversation further.
"Not at all! It was I who learned from you, Sogaju-nim. I had grown arrogant without even realizing it, and so failed to recognize a person of your caliber.... Kgh! Strike me down where I stand!"
THUD.
And with that, Moyong Hu dropped abruptly to his knees and pressed his head to the ground.
What is wrong with this guy? He kneels out of nowhere and asks me to kill him.
Moyong Hu's manner had changed so completely that it made me wonder whether a person could really turn this much.
"You know I hate it when people say things secondhand, so let me ask you directly — did you hit your head or something?"
"I did not. Though I confess I wish I had, as you say."
This man is insane. Was I still in that much pain? This from the same bastard who'd been trading quips with me mid-duel only days ago — I could scarcely believe it.
When Mujin stayed silent and said nothing, Moyong Hu looked back over his past, chewing over his mistake once more.
By failing to recognize Sogaju-nim's talent, I committed a grave discourtesy.... The price of that sin I must repay until the day my life ends.
During the duel, Moyong Hu had feared Mujin's talent. And he had been angry. It had felt as though the effort he'd poured into reaching the very summit of his realm was being denied.
Yet just as he had felt Mujin denying his efforts, the truth was that Moyong Hu himself had been denying Mujin's.
When Mujin came charging in, form a wreck, taking his qi head-on, Moyong Hu could no longer look away from that fact — he was forced to face it.
Had I resorted to living poison right there on the platform, this man would have shrugged it off as fair play. That is how fully he staked his life on that duel.
In truth, when Wang Inho first told him of his intention to make Mujin king, Moyong Hu had recoiled in horror. Not because he opposed usurping the throne. He simply could not fathom Wang Inho's thinking — that Mujin, of all people, could be made king.
Moyong Hu — no. Every single person qualified to attend the clan council, save Wang Inho alone, had opposed the idea of raising Mujin to the throne. Even Cheok Hwaryeon had tried to talk her husband out of it.
Part of it was that the weight of the crown was never light. But if Wang Inho himself had claimed the throne, a few might have grumbled — no one would have actually objected. In the end, it was the natural harvest of Mujin's habitual conduct.
Moyong Hu did not know what Wang Inho had felt on 'that day.' But judged objectively, Mujin was no timber for a king. Absolutely not.
Or so he had thought.
Right up until he sensed Mujin's potential through that duel.
Martial arts inevitably carry their wielder's character within them. The same technique wears a different color depending on who wields it.
The martial art Moyong Hu had seen from Mujin was domineering, domineering — yet if he could not win by force, he yielded gracefully and hunted for a counterattack. His foundation was a swift lightning blade, but when it failed to land, he would pause for a beat and fall back.
What this revealed was that Mujin's fundamental temperament was savage and impatient. Normally, that would be the end of the story. As a martial artist, his talent belonged in the realm of genius — but as a human being, he was an ordinary man, neither more nor less.
What set Mujin apart from everyone else was that he recognized his own flaws — and corrected them.
His temper is savage and hasty, yes. But he is a man who will set himself right, with his own hands, the moment he strays onto the wrong path.
"Well.... I suppose you've had a change of heart here and there. It makes sense — I am rather exceptional."
"Yes, quite right, Sogaju-nim. Though — what business brings you here? This is the maids' quarters, is it not?"
"And what business brings you here?"
"I don't know what the matter is, but the Clan Mother seems to be in considerable temper today. I was on my way to find the head maid, thinking she might know something."
"Ah, th...that so? She does seem in a foul mood today, huh. Haha."
Slipping my eyes away from Moyong Hu's gaze, I thought to myself: well, shit. I half wondered whether consulting her had been pointless — but if I hadn't taken Cheok Hwaryeon's advice, I'd have dithered and fumbled away my one chance to apologize.
Just as Moyong Hu and I were talking, movement stirred inside the room.
Click.
"You two have been carrying on out there and it's deafening. Just come inside already."
Nari cracked the door open and spoke, her face peeking out through the gap. Her brows were still drawn upward in anger, but Nari was usually such a smiling sort that the look seemed, somehow, a little cute.
Cute? Did I just think Nari was cute?
"What are you sulking about? If you're not coming in, then step aside — I'm returning to my hometown now."
"Whoa, whoa — you're leaving now?"
"If I say I'm leaving, then just take my word for it."
Throwing my own words straight back at my face, Nari popped her head back into the room with a snap. It was the exact opposite of how she'd always been — the ever-poised, grown-up one despite her years.
As I hesitated, Nari peeked her face out again, just a sliver.
Swoosh.
".....Aren't you coming in?"
She was so cute that mischief got the better of me.
"Hm? Are you waiting for me right now?"
"N...no I'm not! I really will go!"
"I'm coming in too, though. Into your room."
"Then hurry up if you're coming...! What if somebody sees you!"
"So what if somebody sees?"
"Th...that's — the young lord prowling around his own maid's bedroom, I mean.... people might get all sorts of... you know... ideas...."
"And maybe those ideas would be exactly right."
"WHAT?!"
Heh heh.
Watching the two of them bicker back and forth across the door, Moyong Hu smiled fondly to himself.
I was that green and innocent once, too.
For the record: Moyong Hu had never once so much as held a woman's hand.