I'll Come Collect It Later
After the village feast had ended, Eri came home, lay down on her bed, and replayed everything that had happened earlier.
More precisely, everything Evan had said to her.
What? He'd date me if he couldn't find anyone else?
Just imagining it made her blood boil. The fact that she'd actually heard those words out loud was even more outrageous.
Just because I liked him first, he thinks I'm that easy? Don't make me laugh. Fine then — I won't accept him either…
Knock, knock.
"Kyaah…!?"
Someone tapped on her window. At this hour of the night, there was no one who would come looking for her — and certainly no one who would come by the window — so Eri jolted upright and stared.
A dark night lit only by starlight. Outside the glass stood someone dressed in black as deep as the night sky itself.
"…Evan?"
Looking closer, it did seem to resemble him. When she carefully spoke, the figure hanging outside the window carefully answered.
— Eri. Eri.
"Oh, it was you. Don't scare me like that."
— Eri. Eri.
"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
She said it, but she already had an idea why he'd come. He must have come to apologize for what he'd said earlier.
If it was anything else? She wouldn't even give him the time of day. That was her resolve. But the Evan outside the window kept saying the same thing over and over.
— Eri. Eri. Eriri.
"Ah! Seriously, what is it!? Stop just calling my name and—"
Fed up with him chanting her name, Eri flung the window wide open and looked at the Evan standing outside.
The moment their eyes met, she went stiff, looking him up and down as he clung to the window frame.
Was Evan always this furry…?
In the dark, at a glance, it had the same face and the same clothes — but up close, something completely different from Evan was standing there.
What she'd taken for a black coat was fur growing from its body. Its snout stretched out in a grotesque snout. Its arms and legs were unnaturally long.
— Eri. I like you.
"Kyaaa— mmpf!?"
With those words, the monster climbed straight through the open window into her room. Before Eri could come to her senses and scream, the creature that had entered seized her and carried her out.
All that remained in the room were the monster's shed fur and muddy footprints.
"What did I do wrong?"
Evan muttered as he rolled a raw egg gently over the cheek Eri had slapped. Anya, who had been helping clean the house, flinched at the words and turned to him.
"Y-you didn't do anything wrong, Sword Saint!"
"If I didn't do anything wrong, why did I get hit?"
"W-well, if my childhood friend said something like that to me, I'd cut ties completely, but… you're the Sword Saint! So it's fine!"
"…That means it's not fine, doesn't it?"
Even Anya's infinite positivity had thorns all over it. Dense as Evan was, even he could pick up on something at this level.
He stood up from the sofa and looked at Anya mid-cleaning.
"If something like this happened to you, Anya — what would someone have to do for you to forgive them?"
"I think the moment those words leave someone's mouth, forgiveness is already off the table…"
"You just said it's fine because I'm the Sword Saint! Isn't there any way!?"
"Hmm… w-well, if someone was that precious to you, you wouldn't have said something like that in the first place, would you?"
She had a point. Evan lost his words and stared blankly at her. Only then did Anya grasp how serious this was, and she scrambled to offer every solution she could think of.
"Girls like pretty, sparkly things, so how about giving her flowers or jewels! Oh, a dress would be nice too! And they like sweet things, so winning her over with cake or something…!"
"A country girl stuck out here in the sticks wouldn't have much use for jewels or dresses…"
"City girl or country girl, a girl is a girl!"
"Yeah? Then I'll take your word for it?"
"Yes! Absolutely! Ah, and from what I can tell, Miss Eri doesn't seem like the honest type, so I think it would help if you were a little more aggressive, Sword Saint!"
In that short span, Anya had even read Eri's personality and handed Evan a perfectly tailored solution.
He grabbed a reasonably pretty jewel from his subspace storage, waved that he'd take the advice, and headed out. The rural night greeted him without so much as a single streetlamp — never mind the magic lamps that lined city streets.
But Evan was a country boy. He was used to walking by starlight. This was the hometown he'd lived in his whole life. A few months away hadn't stripped that familiarity from him.
Eri's a girl too… Right. She is.
Fifteen years spent side by side with Eri. From the time they were little, being the same age meant eating together, playing together, even bathing together.
The village adults had already marked the two of them as a future couple, and they made sure the pair stuck close.
Looking back on it now, maybe the whole reason he'd insisted on finding a girlfriend was a kind of rebellion — a pushback against that predetermined fate.
"Eri— you awake?"
Arriving at her house, Evan called for her vigorously from the front door. There wasn't a single sign of life inside.
The adults, still riding the high of the rare feast, had taken the leftover liquor and gone off for a second round that would last all night — so her parents weren't home either.
Don't tell me she's sulking so hard she won't even answer? She's not a kid.
Then he noticed the window was open. Evan let out a long sigh and leapt straight up to the second floor.
Bugs are going to get in… Thinking that, he hung from the second-floor window frame, confirmed no one was in her room, and tilted his head.
What? Where did she actually go?
Something felt off. His eyes sharpened — and he noticed the dusty footprints and a single long hair left behind in her room.
People changed into indoor slippers at home, so there was no reason for mud to be tracked in. And that hair was far too black and thick to be Eri's…
…A boyfriend?
For a split second he wondered if Eri had someone else, and he stared hard at the hair. Fortunately, it didn't seem human.
Even the village's hairiest man — the one with the thickest beard — didn't have hair this thick and tough. It didn't look like human hair at all.
"—Not human, huh."
Pulling the taut hair taut between both hands, Evan said it and looked out beyond the village. Darkness so deep you couldn't see an inch ahead blanketed the outskirts.
"Kyaaaak—!"
Thud—! Eri hit the ground hard and glared fiercely at the monster that had dumped her so roughly.
Whether it knew it was hated or not, the creature that had kidnapped her swayed lightly side to side and started snickering.
— Like you. Like you. Like you.
"Shut up! Stop copying Evan's voice!"
— Like you, Eriri. Like you.
"Y-you think anyone's going to like you for that!?"
Eri shouted, and in the same breath she finally recognized what stood in front of her. A Mimic — a monster that copied a person's appearance and voice to lure and kidnap others.
If you'd just kept the window shut, it didn't even have the intelligence to open one, and you could avoid it easily. Instead, she'd been stupid enough to open it just because she heard Evan's voice.
She'd never imagined this thing would be able to imitate the voice of an Evan she hadn't heard in so long.
Damn it… It's because of that idiot Evan again…
Whenever he was around, something always went wrong. Look at this. If Evan hadn't come back, she would have done what she always did and never opened the door — and none of this would have happened.
If Evan hadn't been there. If he hadn't existed. If she hadn't loved him…
"Evan… Evaaan…"
Save me.
It's your fault.
You're the one who made me like this.
So get me out of here.
— Uhiik, uhihi—.
Seeing her tears drip down, the Mimic seemed to like the crying look. It snorted and started making beastly noises.
Eri glared at it through her tears — then flinched as a hand reached toward her.
— Like you. Like you.
"Wh-what are you— kyaaaaak—!?"
The Mimic very carefully took hold of Eri's arm. But just as an elephant carefully handling an egg still leaves the egg in pieces — Eri's arm came free with unnatural ease.
Her shoulder dislocated. Eri rolled on the ground in searing pain. Seeing her arm stretched out like that, the Mimic snickered and went for the other one.
"N-no— stooop…"
— Eri. Like you.
"I don't waaaant—!"
The instant the Mimic grabbed her left hand, a blade of sword energy came flying from somewhere and sheared the creature's arm clean off.
Staring at its own arm tumbling across the ground, the Mimic shrieked and scrambled backward.
"—Die."
But no matter how fast it moved, it could not escape a sword that could cut even the clouds from the sky. In an instant the monster was carved into pieces, and Evan walked past its remains toward Eri, who was still rolling on the ground.
Looking at her — arm hanging loose, tears streaming — he tossed out a light jab.
"Whoa— crying face. Ugly."
"Hic, hwaaaaaah—! Evaaaaan!"
"…Ah. Not the time for jokes?"
Watching her throw herself at him with snot bubbles and all, Evan sighed and looked at her arm.
"It's out. Hold still a second."
"Huh? Hnnngh—!? Kyaaaak! It hurts, it hurts!"
"There. Done. Drink a potion."
"Waaaaaah! It huuuurts!"
How much experience would a young country girl who mostly helped with farm work have with pain like a dislocated arm? Everything she'd gone through today was the kind of thing that would stay burned into her memory for life.
Evan had heard plenty of stories from people in the city and the guilds who'd lived through things like this. He knew that if he didn't overwrite this memory, it would haunt her forever — maybe even become a trauma.
Nothing immediately came to mind that was intense enough to bury that pain in this moment… but then he remembered what Anya had said.
— City girl or country girl, a girl is a girl!
Right.
Just as Evan had dreamed of swinging a sword while reading hero stories—
Eri had dreamed of being the princess in those same stories.
And if you'd saved the princess, there was only one thing left to do.
"Eri."
"Hic, hwaaaaaah…!"
"Look at me."
She lifted her tear-streaked face and met his eyes. Even as the whimpers kept coming, she looked at him.
A ridiculous face. Evan huffed a small laugh at it and carefully leaned in.
"I'll come collect it later."
"Hic, whaaat…"
Smack—.
He kissed her, then slowly drew his lips away and said:
"My first kiss."
"…"
For a moment, time seemed to stop.
Forgetting even to cry, Eri stared blankly at Evan, then carefully touched her own lips.
And the next instant—
"Y-you crazy bastard—!"
The same words she'd thrown at him that afternoon.
But the tone was different.
Hearing it, Evan let out a quiet laugh.
Success.