I Wanted a Girlfriend So I Cut the Sky
Every story's hero has a wonderful lover.
The warrior who defeated the Demon King and took three wives and four concubines.
The legendary adventurer who wandered the world with an elf at his side.
The knight who won a princess's hand in marriage. And so on.
Raised on fairy tales, I wanted a lover of my own—a pretty one, with big breasts and a big butt. So I analyzed the heroes of those stories.
The legendary heroes all shared one thing in common: they were exceptionally skilled. The warrior had the courage to challenge the Demon King. The adventurer had the ability to roam every dangerous region across the world. The knight had the swordsmanship to hold off an entire army alone.
To catch up to them, I swung a sword without a second thought. Fortunately, I had talent. In no time I grew strong enough to single-handedly wipe out the monsters and bandit gangs around the village.
But no girlfriend appeared.
Why?
Unable to shake the confusion, I ran to the only fortune-teller in the village. Seeing my face, she asked what had brought me to her.
"I want a girlfriend."
"Hmm… Grow stronger, and you'll get one easily."
Her words left me stunned.
I still wasn't strong enough?
I thanked her at once and went home, then threw myself into special training.
What is strength? For a swordsman who swings a blade, strength is the power to cut anything. Golems of solid rock. Spirits of fire and water with no physical form. I needed the power to cut even those.
And so I perfected a sword that could cut anything.
But no girlfriend appeared.
I went back to the fortune-teller.
"I want… a girlfriend."
"…Grow stronger still, and one will appear."
She glared at me as if to say, You again? and her words left me reeling once more. Still not enough?
Back home, I spent a while in self-reflection. There was still something missing. So what if I'd perfected a sword that could cut anything? In the end, a sword's purpose is to cut the opponent. If the opponent moved fast enough to dodge, it meant nothing.
Having found my shortcoming, I threw myself into training again.
A single swing that splits into dozens of blades. A sword of spatial refraction that cannot be dodged.
And so I perfected an unavoidable sword.
Yet no girlfriend appeared.
"I want a girlfriend! A girlfriend!"
"—Grow stronger and one will appear, I said?"
The fortune-teller waved me off as if to say, Stop coming here. I went home seething with frustration. Then I found my weakness.
A sword has limits—the limit of being unable to cut someone beyond the reach of the blade. Even if it can cut anything, even if it can never be dodged, if it never reaches, it means nothing.
I had to be able to cut my opponent regardless of distance. So I swung and swung again. Surpassing the limits of the sword itself was harder than either of the two feats before it.
But in the end, I succeeded.
I looked up at the sky, split cleanly in two.
"I… cut the sky…"
I had cut the heavens.
But no girlfriend appeared.