Meteor Madness and the Perfect Blunder
"Uh... um, yes?"
"You've been acting really strange for a while now."
As I sat there on the horse, still wondering if this was all real, Adelia, who had been seated on her throne welcoming me, slowly rose from her seat. She descended the golden stairs lined with a red carpet, one step at a time, until she stood right in front of me. Then, with her pale, soft hands, she touched and prodded my face and head this way and that, tilting her head quizzically before opening her mouth.
"Hmm. The doctor did say you might exhibit slightly unusual behavior due to the impact on your brain... but this is truly fascinating."
"May I ask what exactly is so fascinating, Your Majesty?"
Snapping back to my senses a bit from the sudden skinship, I met her eyes and asked. The empress continued, rubbing my face even more vigorously.
"Uh, yeah. Uh."
"Ten years ago, you clearly said to Princess Adelia Irene Seresius, 'I will be your sword for life, unless you cast me aside first.' And now, you're suddenly talking about retirement like you've become a different person."
"Er... yeah, that does sound pretty strange. But I'm not betraying you or getting cast out, Your Majesty. I just want to retire due to my injuries...?"
"Isn't that the same thing? A man going back on his word. Besides, if there were really something wrong on the surface, that'd be one thing, but you look far too fine, Teron."
"......"
Hmm, true. For someone talking retirement, I do look way too healthy. No, that's not the point. Sure, I look suspiciously healthy, but it's a plain fact that I took a direct Meteor hit and lay in bed for four days straight.
Yet this cold-blooded empress was stubbornly opposing my retirement by dredging up our verbal agreement from ten years ago.
Haa... If I'd known it'd be like this, I would've been more careful.
I regretted it now. Back in the day, when I was making my name as the empire's youngest Aura User, I fell head over heels for the dazzling beauty of Princess Adelia, whom everyone mocked for never ascending the throne. I eagerly volunteered to be her steadfast sword.
But what did that get me? Over ten long years, not only had there been zero romantic progress, but our superior-subordinate relationship had only solidified into unbreakable military hierarchy.
So if I couldn't win her over, shouldn't I at least enjoy my youth before it was too late? Of course, whether I could truly give up on this empress—who at just 24 had reached the absolute peak of every desirable trait—was another question entirely.
But that's beside the point. Anyway, how could I escape from under this inflexible empress before it really was too late?
There has to be some leverage I can exploit properly.
I racked my brain—which never bent outside of battle—for a full minute. Then, a casual remark Adelia had made flashed through my mind.
The doctor said the brain trauma might cause strange behavior, right?
Yes, that's it.
Act like I'm half out of my mind. In the upcoming Ednber battle, keep doing utterly incomprehensible nonsense, make bafflingly wrong decisions, and paint a picture of inflicting heavy losses on the Seresius Empire's forces.
Of course, they wouldn't dream of casting me aside after all the massive gains I've brought the empire, so I'd need to cause a few more losses on top. Roughly half of all the benefits I've provided so far—turn that into damage, prove I've gone mad from the Meteor, and...
They couldn't punish me for my strength, so I'd naturally get an dishonorable discharge and retirement.
Okay, perfect.
Pretending to regain my senses for a moment, I blinked and bowed my head.
"You're right. My body is still in its prime, so retiring now wouldn't make sense. I apologize for worrying you."
"......"
Adelia narrowed her eyes suspiciously at my sudden attitude shift, then withdrew her hands from my face and stepped back.
"Good. Get the rough details of the Ednber subjugation plan from Colonel Kaben at General Command."
"Understood. I'll take my leave then."
I bowed politely and exited the throne room.
General Command operations room.
Colonel Kaben stabbed a red flag into the continental map and spoke.
"Our goal is Ednber's complete destruction and absorption of its remnants. As you know, Sword Saint, it's a rotten city-state still running illegal non-human slave trades in the shadows, despite the empire's strict ban."
"Looks like the kingdom alliance won't protect them this time?"
"Yes. Some idiot slave trader colluded with Southern Baron Perper to smuggle slaves into the empire."
"I see."
Ednber had ignored the continental agreement to abolish slavery for decades, secretly buying and selling non-human. We should've crushed them immediately, but some kingdom alliance nobles covertly backing the slave trade had kept us at bay until now...
But they went and tugged the whiskers of a beast that was already itching for a fight.
Well... I get why they'd be tempted, since the empire controls over half the continental market.
After getting briefed on the enemy's rough forces and approach routes from Colonel Kaben, I headed straight to Special Forces Command, which answered only to me.
The moment I opened the door, a raucous cheer erupted.
"Glad you're back safe, Commander!"
"I was impressed from the first sight... but you really don't have a single scratch?"
A crowd welcomed me warmly. Among them, the faces of Lt. Col. Vester and Captain Aideon—who'd found me naked—stood out first. Next, my eyes met those of my sole adjutant, Lt. Jenia, standing quietly at the back.
She saluted me in her impeccable uniform, her face as expressionless as ever.
"......"
Or rather, her face seemed slightly flushed. No way she's overlaying my naked body on my current appearance, right?
I desperately hoped not as I wrapped up the return greetings and fled to my office.
Staring into each other's eyes wouldn't fix anything.
Anyway, time to get started.
This Ednber war would be my grand debut stage for a perfect, dishonorable retirement. What outlandish command could I give to inflict massive casualties on the unit and blacken my spotless reputation?
How could I make such a perfect headline splash across the front page? I stared at the blank paper, pondering seriously.
First off, as commander, one of the biggest mistakes I could make was pointless troop or resource losses.
Especially if I fill it with neutral faction forces and supplies—that'd be ideal.
The Seresius Empire currently had four factions. The Emperor faction, sworn to Adelia Irene Seresius and contributing the most resources to the war. The Noble faction, convinced they ran the empire. The Neutral faction, playing both sides to grow their power bit by bit. And finally, the Council, aggregating commoner opinions.
These four—well, three excluding the Council—maintained a precarious power balance that kept the Seresius Empire going.
Actually, if it weren't for these Neutral bat-like scum and the Noble old fogeys, the empire's conquest wars would've ended long ago. Then I could've woken from my sickbed right after the Meteor and retired cleanly.
Argh! Thinking about it pisses me off more.
Anyway, to sum up: retirement matters, but if possible, I wanted to crush these leech factions with my own hands before retiring.
So I needed an excuse to requisition as many troops as possible at once. I scanned the Seresius troop deployments and continental map again.
Viscount Bantor's 3rd Armored Brigade. Countess Lumeria's 7th Magic Support Company. Baron Kesen's 12th Brigade. Marquis Drokus's 4th Medium Armored Infantry Battalion, practically his private soldiers. Viscount Sil's Infantry Brigade. And finally, Count Morban's 5th Supply Brigade.
These were the units defying the emperor and General Command. Of course, dooming 20,000 imperial troops to slaughter wasn't exactly pleasant.
But they were lunatics who, while proudly bearing the Seresius Empire name, ignored their sovereign's orders entirely. Hell, they secretly traded supplies with enemy states, exploited imperial citizens to fatten themselves—veritable worms eating the empire from within.
I'm going to keep living in the empire anyway. Wouldn't it be proper to clean house before I retire, so it runs smoothly without me?
With that excellent justification for myself, I alternated between the continental map, faction lists, and deployments, deep in thought.
To reach Ednber, we'd have to conquer one of three fortresses. The hardest route, practically nonexistent, was toward Gartok Fortress. Beyond it lay the Hara Kingdom.
They claimed neutrality but traded far more with the alliance kingdoms than the empire—an eyesore.
...Right, can't fill up on the first bite. Start small.
Hara Kingdom gave my plan shape. First, order precautions because neutral Hara might support Ednber—it's risky. Geographically, Gartok and Hara were close, with plenty of exchanges, so pretext aplenty.
Then, assault Ednber with only Special Forces—overstretch it. Meanwhile, conscript 20,000 Noble and Neutral troops by imperial decree to fully block the Hara-Gartok path.
Hara, who cherished neutrality like life itself, wouldn't dare move against the empire in its prime. So 20,000 troops twiddle thumbs in the wasteland, wasting empire time and resources.
A clear commander's misjudgment, force wastage, and needless diplomatic friction with a neutral state.
Perfect. Flawless!
This level of screw-up would have the tabloid hacks—who salivated to bite me—flooding front pages in ecstasy. Sword Saint turns has-been.
I shot up from my seat and summoned the staff.
Then, in Special Forces Command's meeting room, I forced my outlandish plan on the assembled staff and nailed the attack for exactly one week later.
Ignoring their suspicious stares about ignoring the main force for a tiny unit on a fortress, I prayed inwardly: Please, let the papers splash my downfall across the front page ASAP...!!
One week later, before Ednber's western walls.
Declaration of war was four days ago; the siege was about to kick off in earnest. In the command tent, I leisurely lifted my teacup.
Feels too good. I'm gonna crash and burn perfectly.
Then—
Clop clop, clatter!
Urgent hoofbeats rang out, the outside growing noisy. Someone flung open the tent flap without permission and rushed in with hasty steps.
A Neutral faction comms officer. Finally, I thought, setting down my cup with a serious face.
"Report."
"Huff... huff."
Panting hard from the sprint, the officer knelt, then shouted with sparkling eyes.
"I-it's incredible, sir! Colonel Teron!!"
"......?"
"How did you predict Hara Kingdom's sudden intervention—something even General Command never saw coming?!"
"...Wait, what did you just say?"
"Thanks to Special Forces Commander's foresight, Hara's 13,000 kingdom troops trying to sneak aid to Ednber via Gartok were annihilated by imperial forces without firing a shot!! As expected of the undefeated genius who survived the Meteor!!"
"...??"
Wait... so Hara actually sent troops? Risking their precious neutrality? For real? And they lost? To those losers?? Why?