Void (3) - Noisy Yet Cozy
A noisy yet strangely cozy beer house. Several men came striding over with murder in their eyes. The atmosphere soured in the blink of an eye, and the patrons around them began to murmur.
“Hey, what the fuck did you just say?”
“Wow, you didn’t catch that? Did you pour the booze straight into your earholes instead of drinking it like a normal person?”
Zeron answered the man’s challenge with a lazy chuckle. Medeia, for her part, simply hung her head and covered her face with both hands.
“Look at this clown. Thinks he’s hot shit just because he’s got a dick, so he’s gotta show off in front of a girl.”
“Dick? Hey, you hear that? Bwahahaha…! Look at this bastard! He actually said ‘dick’!”
“Ahahaha…! Fuck, is this guy insane? Pfft…!”
The men were clearly wasted, trading crude jokes among themselves. Zeron knew his own personality was rotten, yet the rising heat in his blood made the corner of his mouth curl upward in a nasty smirk. He opened his mouth, voice dripping with mockery.
“Hey, hey. Quit yapping and just swing already. You can’t, can you? Pathetic. All that tough talk and you hit like a Master with a paper sword.”
“This son of a bitch is really asking for it!”
“Go on, hit me. I’m even sticking my face out for you. Or can’t you manage that either?”
Zeron thrust his face forward and tapped his own cheek a couple of times. The man’s face flushed crimson, veins bulging like worms under his skin.
“You motherfucker!”
Whoosh—!
The man twisted his torso and unleashed a full-power swing. Zeron glanced at the incoming fist, then lightly swatted it aside with a casual tap.
“Whoa—?!”
The punch sailed harmlessly past. The man staggered, balance shattered. Zeron gave him that same annoying smirk and placed a hand on the man’s half-bald forehead.
“This might sting a little~.”
Thwack—!
A vicious finger flick slammed into the man’s forehead.
“Ugh…!”
The man toppled backward like a felled tree.
“Bwahaha…! Look at this idiot! Knocked out by a finger flick!”
“You moron! Hahaha…!”
The others were still cackling, but when their friend showed no signs of getting up, their expressions slowly sobered.
“Hey… is he dead?”
“Doesn’t look like he’s too embarrassed to stand…”
Eventually every gaze swung toward Zeron, the one who had delivered the flicks. The men opened their mouths to roar in fury, but—
Thwack—! Thwack—!
They received friendly forehead flicks of their own and collapsed backward in perfect sync.
The tavern, which had fallen momentarily silent, exploded back into raucous noise at the spectacle.
“Wahaha! That guy’s got some serious hands!”
“I always knew those idiots would get wrecked someday!”
It was a bizarre scene—the sudden brawl hadn’t chilled the mood at all; if anything, the atmosphere burned even hotter. Zeron simply smirked like he’d seen it all before and dragged the unconscious men into a corner.
“Much better now that it’s quiet.”
He trudged back to the table and grabbed the beer that had appeared in his absence, gulping it down. Each swallow scraped carbonation down his throat while the chill cleared his head.
“Krruu…”
He slammed the mug onto the table and turned to the kid who still couldn’t lift her head from sheer embarrassment.
“Hey, hey. It’s fine. Most of the bastards in here are adventurers. They don’t give a shit about stuff like this.”
“…How would you know?”
“One look’s enough. They’ve all got that ‘I eat with a sword’ vibe.”
“…You would’ve done it even if they weren’t adventurers.”
“True enough.”
Zeron chuckled and stabbed a sausage with his fork. Juice burst out with a wet squelch. He let out a small noise of appreciation, took a bite, and savored the salty explosion across his tongue.
“Oh. Hey, this place is actually decent. Try some.”
“Shut up… As if I’d ever come out with you again, Uncle…”
The kid shot him a sharp glare, then frowned deeply and chugged her beer.
“Guh…!”
She immediately clutched her throat and started coughing. Zeron had no idea what she was trying to accomplish. She’d done the exact same thing last time, too.
He smirked and offered his own fork. The kid glanced at him with teary eyes, then bit down on the opposite end of the sausage like a stubborn squirrel.
“Hot…!”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Hic…!”
The kid blew frantically on the sausage before chewing it with noisy determination. Then she took another swig of beer. This time she’d learned something; after the gulp she simply shivered and muttered, “Krru…!”
“There we go. You handle your liquor pretty well, huh?”
“Obviously. Now hand some of that over.”
The kid boldly pointed at the gorgonzola pizza. Zeron let out a disbelieving chuckle.
“What, you don’t have hands or feet?”
“Just give it.”
“Sigh… Here.”
He dipped a slice in honey and held it out. She accepted it and munched away like a squirrel hoarding treasure. The sight was oddly entertaining, so Zeron kept offering her bites of sausage and pizza between her sips of beer.
One sip, one bite. Another sip, another bite. After the endless cycle… the kid was gloriously, utterly drunk.
…It was as obvious as the fact that a knife through the heart kills a person.
“Hey, you okay?”
“I’m fiiine…? Didn’t even drink thaaat much…”
“You’re completely gone.”
Zeron clicked his tongue and downed the rest of his beer in one go.
“Let’s see…”
He’d had eight glasses. The kid had three. Sides were one sausage, one pizza, and another sausage added on…
…Ah, who cares.
“Owner! What’s the damage?”
“Uh… one moment.”
The owner counted on his fingers, then Zeron pressed a suitable number of coins into his palm and stepped outside.
“Hey, can you walk?”
“Mhm… I can walk…”
He supported her as they walked. She staggered, but stayed mostly upright. After a while, Zeron suddenly remembered something and checked her ankle.
“Is your ankle all right? You twisted it earlier, didn’t you?”
“Ankle…? Pfft… You idiot…?”
The kid giggled nonstop. Seeing her flushed red face and mindless giggling made a dry laugh escape him.
“The idiot is you, you moron.”
“Nooo, Uncle’s the idiot… I’m a mana user too, remember…? Would I really sprain my ankle over something like that…? Dummy…”
“Oh…?”
She had a point. So the little brat had been faking it?
“Wow… You lied just so you wouldn’t have to walk and could get a piggyback ride? You really are something else.”
“……Real idiot. Moron. Head full of nothing but crap…”
“No, I should be the one— whoops.”
Apparently at her limit, the kid suddenly slumped. Zeron caught her quickly. He’d anticipated this and had the macarons packed into a large shopping bag back at the bar.
Impressed by his own foresight, he hoisted her onto his back. Even after everything she’d eaten, she was still light. And, as always, there was nothing substantial pressing against him.
“Hey, don’t puke on my back.”
“Shut up… My head’s pounding…”
“Yeah, yeah. If the princess says shut up, then shut up I shall.”
As he grumbled, she apparently caught the word “princess” and thumped her forehead against his back in protest.
Here was the problem: when someone already hungover from drinking starts slamming their head around like that?
“Guuuuaaa…”
The answer? They pass right out.
“Dumbass.”
Zeron chuckled.
It was still spring, so the night air remained crisp. Every breath came out as a faint white puff that scattered on the wind. Zeron carried the complaining kid on his back, listening to her drunken grumbles about being cold, her head hurting, her feet freezing.
“…Hey, Uncle.”
“Hey is rude, kid.”
“Uncle…”
“What.”
“Uncle……”
“Yeah, I’m the idiot for trying to talk to a drunk.”
Zeron quickened his steps before she could add any more decorations to his back. Just when it seemed she’d finally quieted down, she rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered right next to his ear.
“Uncle.”
“That tickles.”
“Uncle.”
“Yeah.”
“…Uncle.”
“What the hell do you want?!”
His shout made her giggle. This type really became a handful when drunk.
As he sighed inwardly, she suddenly hugged his back tightly enough to hurt.
“……Oppa.”
“Huh…?”
He turned his head. She was already breathing softly, fast asleep.
“Puberty really is a hell of a disease.”
Zeron grumbled and picked up the pace. The sky had already grown dark. He needed to hurry if he wanted to beat her curfew.
Fortunately they reached the dormitory in time. The only problem was that it was the girls’ dorm, so Zeron couldn’t go inside.
“Hey, wake up. You need to head in.”
He was busy shaking Medeia, who clung to his back like a koala, when a voice called from a distance.
“Huh? Medeia?”
“What, is that the kid’s friend?”
“Ah, yes. You’re Instructor Zeron, correct?”
“Yeah. Perfect timing. Take her inside for me.”
He shook the kid awake and passed her to the girl who turned out to be her friend. Medeia was so exhausted she kept nodding off against the girl’s shoulder, headbanging in slow motion.
“Medeia, it’s me—Flone. Try to wake up a little, okay?”
So her name was Flone. Whatever.
Flone supported the half-conscious Medeia and disappeared through the dormitory doors.
Time for me to head back too. Zeron yawned and turned to leave.
Flone struggled the whole way, hauling Medeia back to her room. Thankfully Medeia’s room was right next door, so at least that part was easy.
“Ugh, how much did you even drink?”
“…Think I’m gonna throw up.”
“Ehh?! W-wait a second…!”
She rushed her to the bathroom, but Medeia fortunately held it in. Flone sighed and sat her down on a chair.
“Wouldn’t it be better to just sleep?”
“If I lie down now I’ll definitely throw up… The whole world’s spinning…”
“Ugh, then should I make some honey water? My dad always asks for it when he comes home drunk.”
“Yeah… thanks…”
Flone rummaged through the kitchen and found the honey. All the dormitory rooms had identical layouts and came stocked with basic supplies, which made things convenient. She mixed warm water with honey and handed it over. Medeia began sipping it slowly.
“Anyway, you seem pretty close with Instructor Zeron.”
“…Yeah. We’ve known each other since I was little.”
“First love?”
“Pfft—!”
Medeia spat out the honey water like a dragon’s breath attack.
“W-what the hell are you saying…!”
Flone, who had barely dodged the sticky spray, grinned mischievously.
“Oh my. Strong denial is basically the same as confirmation, you know.”
“I-it’s really not! Why would I ever like that dirty-tempered old man…!”
“Hmm… Suspicious.”
“It’s really not…!”
Medeia’s face burned bright red as she shook her head violently.
…Then she clutched her splitting skull and groaned in misery.
“Ughhh…. Anyway it’s not…. Why would I like a guy like that…. He’ll probably die alone when he gets old. No woman could possibly put up with that personality. Yeah, definitely.”
Medeia declared it with absolute certainty. About half of it was sincere. Besides her, who else could tolerate that personality?
His face was… well, if he would just cut or at least style that messy shaggy hair, it was passable. But everything else was terrible. He drank constantly, had a rotten personality, caused trouble every single day, and smoked wherever he pleased. Who would take a man like that? It was an undeniable fact. Yep. She could bet on it.
A dark room illuminated only by moonlight spilling through the window. Ice clinked inside an on-the-rocks glass. Zeron, who had been holding the glass up to the moonlight, suddenly spoke.
“Maid.”
“Yes, do you require anything?”
“Come in for a bit. Care to share a drink with me?”
In the dead of night, the door opened with a quiet creak.