010. Sense of Incongruity
010. Sense of Incongruity
A muggy summer night, a few days after that.
"Ha..."
I stared blankly at the ceiling and let out a soft sigh.
3 a.m.
The time when a person gets most sentimental.
Shameful memories buried deep where no one knows come floating up,
and thoughts I wouldn't normally have flicker through my mind.
Things commonly known as one's 'dark past'.
And right at this moment, I had just updated a brand new entry myself.
If this were a game, you could say a 'New!' mark just popped up.
...It's so ridiculous that I'm spouting all kinds of nonsense.
"......"
After changing my clothes, I quietly crept outside holding my drenched underwear.
I thought about just throwing it into the laundry hamper, but my clothes weren't the only ones in there.
If my sister caught me, it wouldn't end with just sheer embarrassment.
I carefully slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.
Taking care to make as little sound as possible, I finished cleaning up after myself and came out.
...I never even had something like this happen in the military.
It was because ever since my sister came, I couldn't even dream of doing it.
We're stuck together all day, so where on earth would there be timing for that?
I tossed the now-clean underwear into the laundry hamper and opened the refrigerator.
Opening the door as narrowly as possible so my sister wouldn't wake up, I pulled out the glass bottle filled with green tea.
Ggulggak. Ggulggak.
The sound of the beverage passing down my throat sounded exceptionally loud.
After wetting my throat, I felt a bit more alive.
"...Huu."
Closing the refrigerator door, I walked straight out into the yard.
The jjireureu chirping of crickets.
The night air was still humid and sticky.
I pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
Exhaling a long stream of smoke, I looked up at the sky.
Stars were visible here and there.
A sight I had rarely seen back when I was in Seoul.
It had been quite a while since I started living here, but I just couldn't get used to it at all.
I blew the inhaled cigarette smoke out into the empty air.
For a moment, the stars turned hazy.
"......"
Holding the smoke deep inside, I exhaled slowly once more.
Yet the brightest star was never hidden in the end.
Only my head filled up with hazy white smoke.
...When I first made up my mind to live with my sister, I didn't worry too much.
Having lived on my own for a long time, I thought things like cooking or managing living expenses were all trivial matters.
Since I used to live in the same house with my sister when we were young.
So, I just... thought we'd live like back then, being moderately considerate while bickering back and forth.
However, the younger sister in my memory was no longer a child.
Haeun, who had grown up so fast, was already a full-fledged adult.
...I really never dreamed that living in the same house with my younger sister would bring so many problems.
If I knew it would be like this, maybe I should have tried getting a girlfriend or something.
"......"
As expected, things can't go on like this.
There's more than just one or two things I need to address.
The first, of course, must be privacy.
If only for the dignity of the older brother and the mental health of the younger sister, personal time must be guaranteed.
Since there are two unemployed bums in the house, neither of us has any private life to speak of.
The second is... studying.
Last time, things somehow got glossed over like a snake slithering over a wall, but no matter how much I think about it, I really feel like Haeun needs to be sent to college.
Even if she stays here, all she'd end up doing is running an orchard like Hyeonseo's family, or farming fields and rice paddies like Grandmother.
It's not a bad neighborhood, but it's also true that this isn't a place for a mere twenty-year-old kid to drop anchor.
Once Grandmother passes away, I'll go to the city as well..., but no one knows when that will be.
Right now, I'm the only one beside my sister so she acts spoiled and all,
but the moment she goes to college and gets a boyfriend, someone like me will be pushed way into the background.
"......"
Suddenly, imagining my younger sister walking arm-in-arm with some strange guy made me annoyed.
The reason... I don't really know.
I just hate the thought of seeing it.
They do say seeing blood relatives dating makes you want to throw up.
No matter how close we get, are we still just siblings after all?
"...Tsk."
My mood suddenly turned sour.
Maybe it's because nicotine entered an empty stomach.
I couldn't even taste the cigarette properly,
so I flicked the half-smoked cigarette and crushed it out on the ground.
"......?"
Coming back inside the house, I paused just as I was about to head back to my room.
Someone was standing in front of my room.
"...Oppa."
Haeun was staring at me with a languid expression, looking drunk on sleep.
...She wasn't there just a moment ago.
"...What are you doing there?"
"I woke up from sleep..., but I couldn't see oppa..."
...Seriously, if I had stayed out even a little longer, it would've been a disaster.
Haeun rubbed her eyes and reached her arms out toward me.
In that state, she wobbled forward slowly until she bumped kkung against the wall.
"Ah..."
She collapsed right there on the spot and stared at me blankly.
...She's not a little kid looking for her emotional support plushie.
"...I just came out to drink some water. I'm going to sleep now."
I let out a quiet sigh and pulled my sister's arm.
"Yeah..."
Staggering to her feet, my sister smiled softly before pok burying herself in my arms.
As if I were some kind of bamboo wife pillow,
she wrapped her arms around my waist,
rubbed her face against me like a puppy,
and took a long seueueup breath.
"I like oppa's scent..."
"......"
I don't know what she likes about it.
Right now, all you'd smell is the cigarette smoke you hate.
"...Haeun-ah. Snap out of it."
I gently pulled my groggy sister off my body.
Haeun stumbled a couple of times before tuk resting her head against my chest.
Why is she really acting like this?
"...Go back inside and get some more sleep. Don't look at your phone."
"Yeah..."
Haeun yawned loudly, nodded her head, and went into her room.
After staring toward my sister's room for a moment, I returned to my room as well.
...I don't know what a pair of siblings is doing in the middle of the night waking up like this.
**
As soon as I woke up in the morning, I quickly started the washing machine and went out for a jog.
Running along the riverside bathed in early morning sunlight felt refreshing.
As expected, a healthy mind resides in a healthy body.
When I returned home, Haeun was stretching in the living room wearing leggings.
"You woke up early?"
"Yeah. It gets too hot during the day, so I'm exercising while it's cool. What about oppa? Did you come back from running?"
"Yeah. I'm planning to start working out again bit by bit too. Feels like I gained weight."
Lately, after eating three solid meals a day with my sister, I had put on a bit of extra fat.
There's no gym around here, so I'll just have to run hard at least.
"Mmm... Is that so? I can't really tell."
"Other people usually can't tell."
Because for guys, checking the mirror and posing after showering every day is an unwritten rule.
So naturally, one can't help but know their own body condition well.
Who else would look at my body every single day besides me anyway?
I was about to shower right away when I realized I had started the laundry early.
...Since it's summer, leaving sweat-soaked clothes lying around would make them smell.
Having no choice, I stopped at taking off my shirt and dousing my back with cold water.
Since my sister will have to change clothes anyway.
I'll just wash up later and gather all the workout clothes to wash separately.
I stepped outside, drank a glass of cold water, and watched my sister.
Haeun was sitting with both legs spread wide apart.
In that position, she slowly bent her upper body forward.
"Eu... eut."
She groaned while reaching her arms straight forward.
In the past, her stomach would have touched the floor without much trouble.
Even though her rehabilitation was almost over, it seemed her physical condition hadn't completely returned to normal yet.
"Ugh..., this won't work. Oppa, push me down a bit from behind."
"Got it."
Squatting behind my sister, I placed my hands on her back and pressed down slowly.
As if the stretching was tough, sweat glistened on her fair skin.
...My hands kept slipping, making it hard to hold onto her.
"Breathe in. Again. Breathe out."
"Yeah..., good. Just like that... eut."
A quiet moan escaped her lips.
Her upper body, which was gradually lowering, stopped moving once her chest touched the floor.
"Phew... Oppa, push down just a little bit more."
"More than this?"
"Yeah. Just a little is fine."
As I applied my weight and pressed firmly, I saw my sister's chest get pressed down and slightly spread to the side.
The skin peeking out from her bra top looked exceptionally white.
"......"
I quickly turned my gaze away.
Only after counting to thirty did my sister sit back up.
This time, she flopped onto her stomach facing forward, bent her legs, and grabbed both ankles with her hands.
"Heuup..."
She pulled them jjuuuuk straight back, but as expected, her injured leg didn't go down as much.
My sister tried twisting her body to balance things out, but ultimately panted for breath and looked up at me.
"Oppa. Push down my legs a bit from behind."
"...Again?"
"Yeah. This is the last one. Doing it alone really doesn't work well."
"...Got it."
I sat behind my sister and grabbed her ankles.
...Slender.
Enough to fit within a single hand.
"You just need to push it straight down like that."
"Yeah."
I pressed her legs gguuuuk firmly down.
Haeun closed her eyes and slowly exhaled.
"Right there. A little harder."
When I applied a bit more force, her legs finally went all the way down.
Naturally, the hands holding her ankles touched my sister's buttocks.
"......"
The elasticity of muscle transmitted past my fingertips.
Perhaps because of the stretching, her body temperature was strangely high.
Above her reddish, flushed soles, my sister's toes wiggled.
...I slowly counted the numbers.
"One, two, three..."
"...Heu, eut."
Was it because it touched a place that shouldn't normally be touched?
Or was it because it touched a place it shouldn't touch?
My sister let out faint groans while constantly moving her head.
Each time, her strands of hair swayed back and forth, tickling my fingertips.
"...That should be enough now, right?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
When my sister raised her body, her bangs were disheveled and soaked with sweat.
"Ha..., that's refreshing."
"...Are you doing this for rehabilitation?"
"Yeah. I'm supposed to do it every day, but honestly it's a bit of a hassle. When I was at the hospital they forced me to, but coming home makes it hard to get around to doing it."
Haeun smiled brightly and stretched her arms.
"Still, it's nice having oppa help out. Should we do this every morning from now on?"
"......"
Instead of answering, I wiped my face with a towel.
My palms kept growing moist.
"...Can we eat breakfast after I shower? I'm going to quickly wash up first."
"Uh..., yeah."
Leaving only those words behind, I hurriedly exited the living room.
For some reason,
the air felt...
...a little hotter.