Came to Catch but Got Caught Instead
Tak-tap Shinjang descended to the Celestial Realm with a face full of fury.
An opportunity had arisen.
He'd been itching to give those damned immortals a proper thrashing someday.
Geomseon?
Sure, he's strong.
But is a Celestial Realm general some pushover?
Tak-tap carried treasures with him too.
Not just one, but three.
The first was the Eight Trigrams Compass bestowed by the Supreme Emperor.
Picture the target's name and face in your mind, and the compass needle spins toward them.
No matter where a sinner hides, he could track them down in no time.
The second was the Heavenly Army Summoning Flute.
Blow this flute, and 10,000 Heavenly troops assembled in the Celestial Realm would summon instantly.
The moment he spotted Geomseon, he'd blow it.
No matter how mighty Geomseon or his immortal cronies, 10,000 Celestial troops would crush them easily.
Tak-tap followed the needle's direction relentlessly until he reached a vast clearing in the Celestial Realm, where a bizarre tent had been pitched.
The area around the tent was unnaturally dark compared to the surroundings.
A barrier sealed it off, blocking all external access.
"Hmph! Hiding here, eh?"
Tak-tap drew the Pasa Cudgel from his belt—a weapon made from a branch of the Heavenly Peach Tree.
His third treasure.
Crafted from branches pruned while tending the Heavenly Peach Trees, it repelled evil energies and shattered barriers. Standard issue for Celestial generals.
Whish!
Boom!
Tak-tap smashed the barrier with the Pasa Cudgel, then flung open the tent flap.
"Geomseon! Where are you? Come with me. If you've sinned, you must face punish—huh?"
Geomseon wasn't alone inside.
It looked like every immortal in the Celestial Realm had gathered here.
"He's here again."
"Tak-tap this time. If we're lucky, the Supreme Emperor might show up next?"
"Gwigok! Isn't the barrier breaking too easily?"
"Ugh, can't do anything about the Pasa Cudgel."
"Right at the climax, too..."
A barrage of scoldings rained down.
But Tak-tap Shinjang didn't respond.
His eyes were glued to the scene projected before him.
What the hell is that...?
A landscape reflected on a square white cloth.
Clearly an illusion, yet the humans moved with lifelike naturalness, their conversations flowing seamlessly.
It seemed like a world where people lived.
But he'd never seen or heard of such a place.
He couldn't even begin to describe it.
Yet Tak-tap soon found himself immersed in that illusory world.
Oddly, he understood every word they said, crystal clear.
What's that thing they're holding to their ears? Haha, a 'phone,' huh?
A rectangular object everyone carried.
The cities, homes, living rooms, and bedrooms where they breathed and lived.
All luxurious and abundant.
...What? Diet? They starve themselves to lose weight?
It was utter madness.
He'd traversed the human world for thousands of years, but this was unprecedented.
Tak-tap forgot his original purpose entirely, lost in the images.
Good lord! Paternity test? That witch cheated? Tsk tsk, divorce is the least she deserves—unless she's raising a cuckoo's chick.
He knew his subordinates were there inside, but he didn't care.
The immortals tossed barbs as if they'd expected this.
"Totally entranced."
"I like Tak-tap's facial expressions more than the drama."
"Cut him some slack. Who wouldn't?"
"But we can't just let him watch for free."
"Hey, Geomseon! What now?"
Geomseon and his bandit crew spoke in bored tones.
"What else? Like the other generals, we'll cover his monthly fee."
They tilted a gourd, pouring out immortal peaches.
"Juseon, take these. 25 immortal peaches for Tak-tap's fee."
"..."
Dang Gunak let out a deep sigh.
Isn't this stolen goods?
Masses of immortal peaches looted from the Peach Garden and dumped on the market.
He'd become a fence overnight.
If investigators came later, he might take the fall.
...Not later—it's already happened.
The generals sent to investigate had forgotten their duties, grinning like idiots amid the immortals, utterly absorbed in the dramas.
Screw it.
Whatever happens, happens.
They weren't stamped "stolen."
Stash them in infinite storage, and no one could take them anyway.
"Got it. Tak-tap Shinjang's fee paid in full."
"And if there's any popcorn left, just one bag."
"...All gone."
"Aw, it was so salty and tasty... Hey, selling that wristwatch?"
"Dream on."
"Sheesh, what a guy! When's new stock coming?"
"No telling."
"Tell me first when it does. I'll buy it all."
Envy poured from the other immortals at Geomseon's flex.
"Rich bastard."
"How many immortal peaches did he loot?"
"Geomseon the big spender."
"Should we raid the Peach Garden too? Plenty left."
"Finish this first."
Geomseon grinned in satisfaction, then called to Tak-tap, still blankly staring at the screen.
"Tak-tap!"
"Huh? Oh, Geomseon. I was just—"
"Sit comfy in a chair and watch. I covered your fee."
"Fee?"
"Can't pay, you get kicked out."
"...Sheesh."
"But I paid, so stay a month."
"Th-thanks."
Tak-tap's face lit up as he shuffled to a wooden theater seat, leaned back, and settled in to watch.
He'd completely forgotten why he'd come.
Or maybe he knew but pretended not to.
Why did Geomseon and his gang cover the generals' fees?
Obvious.
Water ghost tactic.
Turning them into accomplices.
Even Dang Gunak, once called the Absolute Poison Demon before ascension and synonymous with cunning, was impressed.
Vicious. Utterly vicious.
Was that really Geomseon?
Raid the Peach Garden just to watch dramas?
But Geomseon shrugged it off—immortal peaches were everywhere there, and he hadn't touched the Heavenly Peaches, so no issue.
Whatever, their business.
The immortals' content consumption was insane.
They camped in the theater for days, binging 15 to 20 episodes daily.
The Hero Saga trilogy had wrapped up ages ago.
Time for new dramas.
After much deliberation, Dang Gunak queued up a daily morning soap opera.
A tale from Earth's unfamiliar world, with over 150 episodes to stretch things out.
He marveled anew at Taeju—how had he downloaded all these?
One snag: language barriers.
He understood Samhan Empire tongue, but the others didn't.
It resolved surprisingly easily.
Scholar Immortal Galhong laid a Thousand-Li Divine Communication spell formation on the theater floor.
Not direct translation.
As Dang Gunak watched with the immortals, his grasped plot, background, and dialogue transmitted telepathically to each.
Like mind-reading over distances.
Picture the drama in his head, and they intuited it.
It even had learning functions—over time, they'd master the language without the formation or him.
But it guzzled 500 immortal peaches' worth of energy.
Dang Gunak invested boldly.
Promising to repay the shortfall with interest slowly.
Break the language wall, and content options exploded.
Two days ago, formation down, morning soap on.
Immortals fixated first on backgrounds, not plot.
"The universe is vast indeed. How does such a world exist?"
"Our realm's but a speck."
"Truly wondrous. The Celestial Realm's nothing."
"Enlightenment achieved."
"Tsk tsk, another ascension incoming."
Smartphones, cars, skyscrapers, gadgets, electronics—unimaginable artifacts from the drama captivated them.
"Treasure?"
"Obviously a treasure."
"Sending your voice across tens of thousands of li? What else could it be?"
"Wish I had a car."
"No roads in the Celestial Realm."
"Build some."
Then they dove into the melodrama.
"Wait, those two aren't siblings after all?"
"Who the hell is that woman's father?"
"...Chairman? Why doesn't the old geezer recognize his daughter right in front of him?"
"That rotten bitch! Plotting murder to hide her shame? Fine, I'll kill her first."
"Come on! Sit down already. You're blocking the screen."
Luckily, it hooked them.
He'd feared resistance to the unfamiliar.
If they accepted this, others would be easy.
Soon as the soap aired, Tak-tap and other generals swarmed in.
Now they all hunkered down, souls half-gone, drool dripping unnoticed, lost in the glow.
Hoping no more come...
Fat chance.
With the dispatched generals vanishing, they'd send more.
And sure enough.
"...Wh-what is this?"
Heavenly Immortal Jongri.
Same story.
He forgot his mission instantly.
Geomseon Dongbin leered wickedly at the sight.
It's over.
Jongri came to catch Geomseon—and got caught instead.
※ ※ ※
Taeju visited the hotel after ages.
Yesterday, he'd cleared mines from Hapbin Prison, and the factory hummed smoothly.
Taehong's Vitality Surge and Fresh Flesh Growth produced top-quality batches.
Even the FDA called.
Human trials for Vitality Surge incoming.
He upped their 500-bottle sample request to 1,000.
Faster than expected.
Vitality Surge as a health drink helped.
Fresh Flesh Growth still in animal tests.
Time to head to Gurye.
He missed it.
Baek Hongpyo for a drink of immortal brew.
The orphanage kids too.
Check how hard Baek Changhoon and Jang Suncheol trained and worked.
But first, tie up loose ends.
Baek Seoyeonn prepped proposals and contracts for Baekdu Group.
Meet Chairman Jeong Ukcheol tomorrow or next.
Shower time?
Taeju rinsed off quick, ordered room service.
After eating and relaxing.
Ding-dong.
Room bell.
Who? Baek Seoyeonn or his awakener escorts, probably.
But.
Huh?
An old man on the video intercom.
White suit, white fedora, snow-white hair and silver beard, white facial awakening tattoo.
What, a white fetishist?
Didn't look ordinary at a glance.
"Who is it?"
—Are you Kim Taeju, chairman of Taehong Bio?
"Yes."
—I'm Geum Suhu, imperial court secretary from the palace.
"...Ah!"
Taeju knew the name.
The emperor's closest aide, second strongest after him.
What brought him?
Open the door anyway.
He rang properly, unlike some.
Click.
Beep!
Taeju hit the video phone door button.
Geum Suhu entered slowly.
Smiling at first.
But upon seeing Taeju, his face hardened, freezing in place.
What's his deal? Did I do something?
Taeju eyed him back.
Instant thought.
...He's strong.
No ordinary man.
Honestly, he'd somewhat dismissed system awakeners till now.
From Lee Jeonghak to Oh Jinhyeong, division commanders, Lee Doochang, even Lee Gieon's master.
They were weak for masters.
But Secretary Geum Suhu was different.
The real deal.
Worthy of the title.
One-on-one, Taeju couldn't guarantee victory.
Even at 8th stage Hunwon Musang Dokryeong Gong.
Meanwhile, Geum Suhu swallowed dryly.
Reason for stiffening upon entry.
Had heard tales.
First time seeing in person.
Knew he wasn't an enemy, but instinct screamed fear.
Don't get closer.
This distance felt unsafe too.
Needed more space.
Taeju tilted his head.
Why so guarded?
Hadn't done a thing.
So he raised both hands amiably toward Geum Suhu.
"Um..."
Right then!
Whish!
Whoosh!
Lightning-fast, Geum Suhu retreated to the hotel entrance.
Taeju flinched too.
Geum Suhu's sudden move nearly made him draw darts from infinite storage.
What the hell?
"...I didn't do anything."
"I know. Body moved on its own."
Geum Suhu's face flushed awkwardly.
"...Come in and sit."
"Nah, this distance is perfect. We'll talk here."
Geum Suhu pulled a paper from his breast pocket.
"My business is an imperial decree—no, a personal letter from His Majesty. No need to stress; hear it from there."
Emperor's letter?
"...Should I kneel or something?"
"Heavens no! Informal document. Just proper etiquette when you meet His Majesty someday."
What could it say?
Geum Suhu slowly read the emperor's letter.