A Happiness That Feels Wrong
"......Wake up!"
"Hm?"
"Student Bern, wake up!"
At the scolding voice calling his name, he lifted his head and rubbed his half-lidded eyes. He had opened them at a desk arranged around the lecture platform.
"Taking a nap right in the middle of my class? You've got quite the nerve, don't you?"
"Lin...?"
"Calling a professor by name so casually? This won't do. It seems etiquette lessons are a top priority for Student Bern. Follow me the moment this class ends."
How had this happened?
He had lost consciousness, and when he opened his eyes again, Lin had become an academy professor — and he was a student...
Wait. Why am I treating this like something strange?
From the very beginning, he had been a student attending Felix Academy. Yet he found himself questioning why the present situation felt so odd to him. Setting everything else aside, he couldn't even remember what he had been doing before he blacked out. It felt as though he had forgotten something important.
"Student Bern, where did your answer go?"
"Ah — yes!"
"Good. Then let's continue with the lesson."
Professor Lin turned her back and refocused on the lecture. As he scratched his head in a half-dazed fog, a coquettish little laugh — pfft! — drifted from the seat beside him.
He turned his head. A familiar face was glancing at him, giggling.
"That's why I told you to go to bed early yesterday. You didn't listen, so serves you right."
"Shut up."
"Even when your childhood friend gives you good advice, you ignore it — so this is your punishment."
The girl smirking and declaring it his own fault was his childhood friend. Her name was Rene. One of the rare dragonkin left in the world, her dragon's nest sat close to his house, and they had played together since they were small. Their relationship was good enough that they even attended the academy side by side.
"You're the only student who'd dare sleep through Professor Lin's class — she's famous for being strict... Ow!"
"And you're the only one chatting during my class as well, Student Rene."
A piece of chalk flew from the lecture platform and struck Rene's forehead on its way past. Just as he had been starting to get annoyed at his childhood friend's mockery, that satisfying hit cheered him right up.
"Bern, that goes for you too."
Thwack—!
Even though he had only been listening, a piece of chalk came flying and cracked hard against his forehead as well. As he rubbed the sharp impact, a deep sigh reached his ears.
"It seems none of you have any intention of taking my lecture seriously. There's no point continuing a lesson when the students aren't even prepared to learn. Therefore, today's class will be replaced with self-study."
The moment Professor Lin closed her book, sharp gazes from every direction swung toward him. It was as if they were saying he should take responsibility for disrupting the class. The sleeping was his fault, sure — but the chatting was entirely Rene's. It felt unfair.
"Student Bern, come with me. Student Rene, I'll be assigning you one additional individual assignment — have it done by tomorrow."
"Th-that's not fair!"
Professor Lin crooked a finger at him and walked out of the classroom. He carefully followed behind the professor, passing his despairing childhood friend.
Click, click.
Professor Lin made only the sound of her high heels, saying nothing at all. Just what kind of punishment was she planning to give him? During the silence, every anxious thought imaginable filled his head, and his body began to tremble.
"Have a seat over here."
He hesitantly stepped into Professor Lin's private office. Following her guidance, he sat on a plush sofa. He wished she would brew some black tea to help him relax — but he was currently in the position of receiving punishment. Making such a request would take a shamelessness he simply didn't have.
"Professor, I'm sorry! I stayed up late last night and— ugh?!"
"Shh!"
Professor Lin climbed onto his lap as he sat on the sofa. She placed both hands on his shoulders and brought her face level with his. Just as he was about to demand what she thought she was doing, her index finger touched his lips.
"If someone hears our voices and comes looking, we'd both be in trouble, wouldn't we? Keep your voice down a little."
He had no idea what was going on, but he gave a slight nod of agreement. Then Professor Lin smiled gently and spoke.
"You really are incorrigible. I never imagined you'd fall asleep right in front of your beloved while she was working so hard on her lecture."
"Ah...!"
Only then did it come back to him.
He and Professor Lin were in a secret relationship.
How nostalgic......
On the day of the entrance ceremony, he had overslept and rushed toward the academy. As he hurried across the royal capital, he happened upon a child in trouble. The boy had been desperately searching for someone, and his body was swaying as if he were ill.
Helping the child would mean being late for certain — a difficult situation. Standing at a crossroads of choice, he had clutched his head, but in the end he decided to help. Carrying the boy on his back, he wandered the royal capital looking for the child's family. After roughly thirty minutes of effort, he managed to meet someone who appeared to be the boy's older sister.
She thanked him and promised a reward, but he refused and left without looking back. Just the fact that he had done a good deed was enough to fill his heart with warmth. Instead, he became known as the only late student at the academy — and the target of countless students' mockery.
And so his bittersweet academy life began. As he lived each day busily, unexpected good news came his way. The older sister of the boy he had helped turned out to be the famous Professor Lin of the academy. She came to find him, thanked him once more, and expressed her strong desire to repay him.
He waved it off, saying he had only done what anyone should. But Professor Lin clung even tighter, and eventually took firm hold of his hand. He still could not forget what happened then.
"I fell for that side of you. Please go out with me...!"
Professor Lin had confessed to him with a flushed face — she, who was known for coldly rejecting every man who tried to appeal to her. It was a situation he could hardly believe, but Professor Lin was sincere, and he ended up accepting her confession in a daze.
And even now, the two of them were a loving couple spending happy days together.
But why did I forget something so important?
He felt an inexplicable sense of dissonance within the memories. He remembered them clearly — yet it was as if they had been hastily fabricated, and he had somehow forgotten them all the same. As he furrowed his brow trying to identify the source of that dissonance—
Lin's arms wrapped around his neck. Her face drew even closer.
"Thinking about something else right in front of your lover? Keep that up and even I will get sulky, you know?"
"S-sorry."
"Hehe...! Of course, I've come to love that side of you as well."
Lin scrunched her face as if angry, then soon broke into a bashful smile. Her face drew closer and closer until she pressed a kiss to his lips. It began as a soft, light butterfly kiss, then gradually grew more passionate as she demanded more of him.
"Is this okay during class hours?"
"Doesn't the sense of transgression make it even more thrilling? A professor and student secretly sharing love during sacred class hours. We're doing something no one could ever imagine."
"You're disqualified as a professor."
"I don't care. As long as I have your love, that's all I need♡"
They pressed their lips together once more, pulling each other into a tight embrace. This time they mixed tongues as well, sharing a sticky, lingering kind of love.
He was happy. If this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up.
"I'd love to do even more right here, but unfortunately, it seems we'll have to save that for later."
"Hmm? Why?"
"Because class will be over soon."
"Ah..."
Lin was the most popular professor at the academy. Every break period, countless students came seeking her for guidance. As a professor, she couldn't very well refuse students with a passion for learning. So he couldn't monopolize her time forever.
"If you'd like to continue, I wouldn't mind, though?"
"No. Let's stop here for today."
Lin had said she didn't care if their relationship became known, but he still didn't want it revealed. Hadn't he resolved to keep their relationship secret until he became someone who could take responsibility and make her happy? It was disappointing, but he was still an immature student — now was the time to step back.
"Then I'll be going now, Professor."
"Yes. I look forward to seeing you awake during the next lecture."
"Ah — understood."
He straightened his clothes and left the office. His face burned at the realization of what a humiliating thing he had done. Of all things, falling asleep during his beloved's lecture — there couldn't be a greater disgrace in the world.
"......Hm?"
As he briefly wondered how he might overcome this shame, a question suddenly rose in his mind.
......Why did I refuse?
He understood the reason. He had resolved to cross that line with Lin only after becoming a proper adult. But that point didn't make sense. Hadn't he recently decided not to hide his desires in front of the one he loved?
"Ugh...!"
Once again, that sense of dissonance invaded his mind. He still didn't know what the true nature of this dissonance was.