Confession
Unlike the underground workshop and the first-floor garbage dump, the second floor was surprisingly tidy and well-organized.
She led us into what resembled a reception room.
It was a desolate space—bare, with only a table and a few chairs set in an otherwise empty room.
“Sorry, but the workshop’s in the middle of a cleanup right now, so I can’t offer proper hospitality. Please bear with me.”
“It’s fine.”
I waved off the apology and took a seat. Eleanor sat to my left, Lucrezia to my right, and Lumencia settled directly across from us.
I sat there without any particular thoughts, trying to gauge the right moment to speak, when Lumencia slowly began crossing her legs.
Her short skirt naturally parted for a brief instant, revealing the white panties underneath. It was an unavoidable accident, yet the strange killing intent I felt pressing in from both sides tightened around my chest far more than any fleeting arousal or embarrassment at seeing her underwear.
“Hmm~”
Whether she knew or not, Lumencia hummed a little tune and idly flipped through the book with the black cover in her hands.
“For now… shall we start by hearing your story?”
After staring at her book for a while, she finally looked up at me and smiled sweetly. Sensing the killing intent growing even thicker, I quickly began unpacking the entire tale.
I tried to keep my emotions in check as I explained, in order, everything we had seen and experienced. Lumencia occasionally paused in turning pages or nodded in understanding, but otherwise stayed mostly silent. Eleanor and Lucrezia chimed in from time to time to fill in the gaps.
The grotesque monsters we had encountered on the lowest floor of the labyrinth. The ancient stone gate. And finally, the black energy that had flowed out of the jewel hovering above the altar and entered my body…
The story ended up longer than expected. At some point, Lumencia’s fingers, which had been lightly flipping pages at the start, had come to a complete stop. She closed the book and simply stared at me in silence for a long time. The playful smile she had worn earlier was gone.
“Hmm…”
Lumencia slowly rested her chin on her hand.
“You’ve picked up something more troublesome than I thought. More importantly, have you told these two yet?”
“Not yet…”
“Then I suppose we should start there. Unfortunately, my mouth is already tired from having to explain things in such tedious detail. Would you explain it in your own words?”
“Understood.”
I took a deep breath.
And then, slowly, I told them.
The Apostle of the Abyss. The corrupted Future Sight. The hallucinations that appeared before my eyes…
And what I had seen and felt inside those visions. One by one, I dragged out the words I could barely bring myself to speak. As I continued, the playfulness vanished from Eleanor’s face. Lucrezia simply watched me in silence.
I wanted to look away.
But I didn’t.
This was something I couldn’t hide.
“And…”
I clenched my fists tightly.
“Because of that influence, a strange desire has taken root inside me.”
The air in the room grew heavy.
“I don’t know if it’s an emotion I originally possessed, or if the Apostle of the Abyss forcibly planted it there.”
I ground my teeth.
“But I definitely… have it.”
I didn’t want to admit it. But I couldn’t deny it either. The desire to save the people I loved, and at the same time, the self who could not look away from that very scene.
“The voyeurism of secretly watching…”
I barely managed to force the word out.
“And the desire that gets excited by the thought of you being taken by someone else.”
“It’s commonly called NTR.”
Only after I spoke did my breath catch. I could hardly believe what had just come out of my own mouth. I slowly lowered my head. I didn’t have the courage to look at either of their faces.
But in the end, I saw them.
Eleanor was staring at me with her lips slightly parted. Her pupils were trembling. Lucrezia watched me without saying a word. In her usual cold, calm blue eyes swirled emotions that were impossible to describe simply.
Worry and sorrow.
And the pain of realizing that I had been crumbling alone in a place they knew nothing about. Seeing those expressions felt like my heart was being torn apart.
I almost wished they would get angry. I wished they would say they were disappointed. If they had told me they couldn’t understand, that it was disgusting, and pushed me away, it might have hurt less.
But they didn’t.
That made it even more painful.
“I’m sorry.”
In the end, those were the only words that left my mouth.
“I’m sorry for keeping it hidden all this time.”
For a long while, only silence flowed through the room. Within that silence, I had to endure their gazes. The people I loved. The people I wanted to hurt the least. Watching their expressions shift moment by moment felt like my heart was being carved out.
“Th-then… is there a way to fix Kael or make it better…?”
“That’s…”
I looked at Lumencia. It had been half a year since I first met her. If there had been any progress…
“For now… as I mentioned last time, it helps to satisfy the urge to a certain degree. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s quite effective.”
“That means…”
That they would have to commit voyeuristic acts for my sake, or end up in another man’s hands…
“Ugh!”
I bit my lip hard. The vile fantasy that flashed through my mind for an instant felt like it was gouging out my heart.
“There’s no need to jump straight into something that intense. Even simple touch, conversation, or just having a meal with someone else should have an effect.”
“Is it really that simple?”
Lucrezia asked, carefully weighing Lumencia’s words.
“For now.”
She lightly tapped the table with her fingertips as she continued.
“The Apostle of the Abyss will keep twisting your mind, Kael. No matter how much you satisfy the urge, it will gradually dull. At first, it might end with simple hallucinations. But as time passes, they’ll become clearer, and you’ll crave more stimulating things. Eventually, it will try to erode reality itself, regardless of your will.”
The air in the room sank heavily at those words. I bit my lip. Then I suddenly remembered what she had taken from me before.
“That time, the se—”
The moment the word was about to leave my mouth, I hastily shut it. Only then did it occur to me that Lucrezia and Eleanor were sitting right beside me.
Semen. No matter how I thought about it, saying that word here was impossible. I cleared my throat and quickly corrected myself.
“No, what happened to what you collected last time?”
“……”
The corner of Lumencia’s mouth twitched upward slightly. It was the face of someone who had perfectly understood what I had almost said and swallowed back. Fortunately, she didn’t seem inclined to tease me any further and answered obediently.
“It wasn’t a bad result. We should see decent outcomes soon. So I’d like to collect more this time too. Especially since you’ve absorbed that black energy, I expect even better results.”
“H-here?”
“No. Don’t worry. I won’t do anything that would make your lovers angry.”
At her words, both women raised their eyebrows and turned to look at me. Their expressions seemed to say, Tell us what happened right now.
“Also, you need to become a little more familiar with the perversion you possess. If you’re too afraid and only feel it against your will, you’ll eventually lose control. Before that happens, you must learn how to manage the urge.”
“……”
It sounded reasonable at first glance.
“Then how exactly do I become familiar with it?”
“It’s simple.”
What Lumencia said next made all three of us blush.
“Voyeurism is easy. Send both of them out naked and watch, or have them touched openly in a tavern while feeling other people’s gazes… I know someone with voyeurism who deliberately makes their partner wear slutty clothes.”
“Th-that’s enough…”
“For NTR, it’s good to watch other men going on dates with your lovers or getting close to them. Of course, since you seem to feel extreme rejection toward it, I’m lowering the intensity. To relieve it to a similar degree as voyeurism, having them touched by another man’s hands, or your lover caressing another man… things like that?”
“Please stop…”
“Why? Don’t want to hear it?”
“……”
“But Kael. From now on, you have to face it directly.”
Her green eyes gleamed faintly.
“If you don’t, your mind will go boom. Well, it won’t literally explode, but your psyche will shatter into pieces.”
“……”
“And the problem doesn’t end with you alone.”
I lifted my head abruptly. Lumencia’s gaze was directed at Lucrezia and Eleanor sitting on either side of me.
“You said the black energy from the jewel entered you inside the labyrinth, right?”
“…Yes.”
“And right after, it flowed into these two through your body as well.”
The air in the room suddenly turned ice-cold. Both Lucrezia’s and Eleanor’s expressions hardened at the same time. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“Does that… mean it affects them too?”
Lucrezia asked quietly. Lumencia nodded.
“Of course. There’s no way it wouldn’t.”
“……”
Eleanor bit her lip. I had thought that if it was only me, I could endure it somehow. I wasn’t sure if I really could, but at least if I was the only one being ruined, I believed I had to bear it. But that wasn’t the case. This wasn’t my problem alone.
“What happens if Kael keeps suppressing the urge?”
Lucrezia’s voice was calm, but a faint tension ran beneath it. Lumencia looked at the three of us for a moment before slowly opening her mouth.
“It will flow backward.”
“Flow backward…”
“The desires that aren’t resolved inside Kael will travel through the closest connection and flow into you two.”
I swallowed hard. Lumencia continued.
“At first, it won’t seem like much. You might feel other people’s gazes more than usual, have strangely shameful fantasies, or feel like testing Kael’s reactions.”
She tapped her fingers on the table.
“But as time passes, it will change. The things you fear. The things you think you don’t want to see. Yet at the same time, the things the curse inside you craves.”
Lumencia’s gaze turned toward me.
“They might even come to want those things.”
“…That’s impossible.”
My voice came out pathetically shaky. Beside me, Eleanor carefully took my hand.
“Kael…”
I couldn’t bring myself to hold hers back. It felt like if I did, something would flow into her again. Eleanor’s eyes trembled for the briefest moment as if she noticed. The sight nearly tore my heart in two.
“So,”
Lumencia said in a low voice.
“What you need to do isn’t simply endure. You must safely, at a level you can handle, gradually draw out the urges the curse demands.”
“You’re telling me to make them do it?”
“I’m not saying you should force them.”
Lumencia cut in sharply.
“Don’t misunderstand. That would make you even more worthless than the Apostle of the Abyss.”
“……”
“But hiding and running away isn’t the answer either. If your lovers have already begun to be affected, this is a problem the three of you must solve together.”
A heavy silence settled over the room. I hung my head and clenched my fists tightly.
“Here. Take this.”
She handed me a small letter.
“Take this and go to a shop in the northern district of Arsein. It should have a sign with a soap emblem.”
“Wh-what kind of place is it?”
“A massage parlor. It’s quite popular. I’ve written the situation you need in the letter, so they’ll take care of it. Of course, you can refuse. And even if you go, you can stop anytime you want. The same goes for the two beside you. I’m not forcing anything. However, it’ll be easier to get used to it here than to make mistakes doing it among yourselves.”
“But that’s…”
A red-light district…
She was telling me to go to a place like that with them?
I froze, staring at the letter Lumencia held out. It was nothing but a single sheet of paper. Yet the moment I took it, I felt as if I were stepping into a place from which there was no turning back. That was when it happened.
“Kael.”
A quiet voice came from beside me. It was Lucrezia. She looked at me for a moment, then picked up the letter I hadn’t been able to take.
“Lucrezia…”
“If it’s necessary, we have to do it.”
She looked down at the letter and spoke briefly. Her voice was as calm as always. But there was a slight tension in the fingers holding the paper. She wasn’t unaffected.
Lucrezia knew as well. What this letter meant. What we would have to face from now on.
“It’s not something Kael should bear alone.”
At those words, I couldn’t say anything. Eleanor stared at the letter for a moment before letting out a small sigh.
“She’s right. We’re already entangled in this together.”
Both of their voices were calm. That made it hurt even more. Lumencia watched us for a while before shrugging.
“Show them the letter when you arrive.”
“And the collection…”
I trailed off. Lumencia answered as if it were obvious.
“It’ll be done there.”
“……”
“It’s better than doing it clumsily here. The environment, the people, and above all, they’re far more familiar with this kind of thing.”
With that, she closed the black-covered book with a snap.
“Of course, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. As I said, I’m not forcing you. However, I don’t recommend simply enduring without doing anything.”
Lumencia’s green eyes turned toward me.
“Especially in your case.”
I bit my lip. Lumencia offered no further explanation. I had already heard enough anyway. Hearing more wouldn’t make my heart any lighter.
“Well then, that’s all for today’s discussion.”
Lumencia stood up.
“I need to clean up the workshop, and I suddenly have a lot more to check. I can’t keep guests for long.”
“You’re kicking us out?”
Eleanor narrowed her eyes.
“Exactly.”
Lumencia smiled shamelessly.
“Still, it was quite a useful consultation considering I couldn’t even serve tea, wasn’t it?”
“That’s…”
Eleanor tried to reply but closed her mouth. It would have been hard to deny. Lucrezia folded the letter and slipped it into her bosom.
“Understood. We’ll be going then.”
“Wise decision.”
Lumencia lightly snapped her fingers.
Click.
The closed reception room door opened by itself. Beyond it, the old staircase came into view.
“And Kael.”
Just as I was about to step out, Lumencia called me. I stopped and turned back to her.
“Don’t run away.”
“……”
“Not from yourself, nor from your lovers.”
Her words caught in my throat. Lumencia said nothing more. Instead, she waved with her usual light smile.
“Next time you come, make sure to check whether the owner is nearby before calling my house a beast cage.”
Eleanor’s gaze slid slightly to the side. Lucrezia froze for the briefest moment as well. I tried to smile faintly at them, but I couldn’t manage it properly.
After leaving Lumencia’s house, we spent time as usual. We stopped by a famous restaurant in Arsein for a meal, and after returning to our lodging, I sparred with Lucrezia for the first time in a while. While our swords clashed, sweat poured, and we caught our breath, I could at least forget the complicated thoughts for a little while.
And then evening came.
To avoid standing out, we chose the most ordinary outdoor clothes possible and wore robes with deep hoods over them. Lucrezia kept the letter in her bosom, and Eleanor arranged her hair with a slightly quieter expression than usual.
“Let’s go.”
At my words, both nodded silently. When we stepped outside the lodging, Arsein’s night streets greeted us.
During the day, Arsein lived up to its name as a city of learning and art—elegant and serene. Painters sold their works on the streets, musicians played, and through glass windows, books, sheet music, and magic tools were neatly displayed. But at night, the city revealed an entirely different face.
Magic lamps containing blue light turned on at every streetlight, and beneath them mingled the laughter of drunkards and the sound of music. Doors that had stayed quietly shut during the day opened one by one, and red and purple lanterns hung in every alley.
Especially as we drew closer to the northern district, the atmosphere changed blatantly. Even the scent in the air was different. Thick perfume and sweet, cloying fragrances assaulted the nose.
“Is this the right way?”
Eleanor asked quietly.
“Lumencia said the northern district.”
I checked the note in my hand again. A sign engraved with soap. That was the mark of the shop we were looking for.
“Hey there, handsome gentleman~ Come this way!”
All kinds of solicitation poured toward me. Women who were practically half-naked swayed in revealing clothes, shaking their bodies to tempt passersby. Occasionally they even sent seductive gestures toward Lucrezia and Eleanor. They seemed to mistake them because both wore their robe hoods pulled low. Both women pretended to be unfazed, but their gazes looked a little sharper than usual. Lucrezia calmly observed the people on the street, while Eleanor lightly held onto my arm.
“Kael.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t look around too much.”
“When did I—”
“Right now!”
Eleanor muttered softly. I cleared my throat for no reason. I hadn’t meant to. I really hadn’t. It was just…
I had been imagining what it would be like if they wore the clothes those women had on. Most of the women on the street had slender figures, but if Lucrezia or Eleanor wore those outfits, even the slightest movement would expose everything, with no room to spare.
And if they shook their bodies like that woman just now, or showed me seductive gestures like the woman back there…
“Kael.”
“Y-yes?”
“Get a hold of yourself and look over there.”
Eleanor, who had been walking for a while, pointed ahead. At the end of the alley stood a building that was slightly quieter than the others. From the outside, it looked like an ordinary wooden structure. However, the small sign hanging above the entrance was engraved with the shape of a white soap.
I stared at the sign for a moment. We had really come this far. The urge to turn back washed over me.
I slowly drew in a breath. Then I walked toward the sign engraved with soap.