The Academy’s Greatest Scandal
The Imperial Academy's central courtyard basked in blinding morning sunlight. The lively footsteps of freshmen mingled with the chirping of birds—a perfect scene straight out of a classic campus romance. But amid this peaceful backdrop, my insides were charred to ashes, scattered to the wind.
"……."
Clinging to my right arm, as usual, was the silver-haired beast. Reina de Astrea, gripping my uniform jacket sleeve tightly with her gloved hands, seemed especially chipper today, even humming a little tune with each step.
She looked nothing like the ferocious straight-shooter who'd ignored the stares of countless nobles yesterday and lunged at my lips with a stick candy in her mouth. Right now, she was just a radiant, lovesick 18-year-old girl.
Dozens of noble brats passing through the courtyard shot glances our way. Until yesterday, their eyes had held instinctive fear toward the empire's strongest beast and political scrutiny toward me standing beside her. But after one night, the stares pouring over us burned with a whole different kind of heat.
"Hey, look over there. It's Evans the baron's son."
"Oh my god, he's actually linking arms with the lady! So the dessert café rumor from yesterday was true?"
"Of course! My cousin was at the Salon de Lumière terrace yesterday, and he said the baron's son roughly stole a kiss from the lady's lips in broad daylight!"
'…This is insane.'
I nearly face-planted on the marble pavement mid-stride. Roughly stole a kiss? Me? Against that human weapon? They think I pounced?!
Cold sweat cascaded down my spine. Before I could even protest, shocking gossip bombarded me from all sides in stereo.
"It wasn't just a little peck, either. I heard the baron melted the lady completely with his amazing technique(?), and now there's talk they've secretly registered their marriage without the imperial family's knowledge."
"Oh my! And get this—the lady climbed onto the baron's lap yesterday and wouldn't get off! Could she already be carrying his heir?"
'You crazy little blood clots!!'
I swear I heard the thread of my sanity snap in my brain. How did a simple mishap balloon overnight into fake news worthy of a trashy morning soap—secret marriage escalating to premarital pregnancy?!
I wanted to spit blood from the injustice. It wasn't a kiss theft! This straight-shooting beast had force-fed me the candy, and our lips just brushed! And her plopping onto my lap? That was her doing while I froze, watching for assassins—not my idea!
I was the pure victim of one-sided skinship under physical(?) coercion!
"Hah, hah……."
Outrage choked me, my stomach churning. I longed to grab a megaphone, stand in the courtyard's center, and declare to the masses: "Everyone! These are baseless rumors! I'm just the lady's loyal, upright retainer!"
But Reina, arm locked firmly in mine, heard every word of this outrageous drivel without batting an eye. No denial, nothing.
"Student. Ahem! The rumors are getting really weird right now……."
I ventured cautiously, my face pale. She lifted her head, eyes sparkling lazily.
"Why? I like it."
"What's to like?! They're whispering we've already got a kid on the way! As an honorable lady, you need to set the record straight right—"
"Let 'em talk. Make it louder."
She rubbed her cheek happily against my arm, smirking.
"Now the whole school knows you're mine. I want the rumors bigger so no bugs buzz around you."
No, please care about your honor for once! Why am I yours? I'm your retainer!
Back in my past life as a teacher, innocent high schoolers dragged to the office in tears over secret dating rumors didn't exist in this world. Faced with this shameless great dane humming contentedly at the gossip, I threw in the towel completely.
Fine, what can I do? A low baron's son explaining won't convince anyone. I'll just flop face-down in class, plug my ears, and nap.
Half-enlightened, I zombie-shuffled toward Class 1's room with vacant eyes. But my pathetic escape shattered the moment I opened the door.
Creak—
The rowdy classroom fell deathly silent as I entered through the back door, like someone doused it with ice water. Dozens of eyes locked onto me and Reina.
Emperor faction marquess's son Leonhardt von Leonis trembled pen in hand, glaring daggers. Noble faction top student Julian von Vander adjusted his glasses, scrutinizing my lips with keen interest. Elarra von Sterling had her notebook out, scribbling furiously with sparkling eyes.
…Please just leave me alone. I'm exhausted.
I ignored the sticky stares, slumped into my seat. Reina, unfazed beside me, propped her elbows on the desk, beaming at me.
The front sliding door opened, and our homeroom deputy instructor, Arthur, entered with the attendance roster.
"Everyone, take your seats. Morning roll call starts now."
Standing at the podium, Arthur flipped open the roster and raised his pen. Today, his gaze darted unnervingly through the air.
"Julian von Vander."
"Here."
"Leonhardt von Leonis."
"Here."
His voice halted midway.
"……Cadel Evans."
"Here."
As I responded, Arthur pinched his brow and let out a loud, awkward cough. Tension thickened oddly in the room. Eyes ping-ponged between me and the instructor like ping-pong balls.
"Baron Evans."
Avoiding my eyes by staring at the blackboard, Arthur spoke in a heavy, grave tone.
"As an instructor, I understand that our academy's talented newcomers can't always contain their youthful passions. The fiery romances of puberty-stricken boys and girls… ahem, can't be stopped entirely."
…Huh? Instructor? What's this about?
A chill crept down my spine.
"But!"
Arthur slammed the podium, raising his voice. Yet his gaze shied from Reina beside me, fixing solely on the easy target: me.
"This is a sacred hall of learning and grueling training! Indulging in overly steamy 'public displays of affection' right after school in a crowded public spot damages the academy's dignity!"
"……!!"
"Channeling youthful passion is fine, but Evans!"
He slammed the podium again. His eyes still avoided Reina, zeroing in on helpless me.
"You might not know since you're exempt, but this afternoon's combat practical requires immense stamina! So… don't waste it on, uh… unnecessary… a-as… ahem! I mean, as a man, consider your partner's stamina too and pick your spots wisely! Got it?!"
…Huh? Instructor? Are you saying I drained her stamina?!
I froze like I'd been struck by lightning. Gasps echoed, followed by stifled snickers. Leonhardt's brow furrowed menacingly; the girls' eyes widened in shock and curiosity.
No, instructor!! She pounced, and she's the one overflowing with energy!!
I inwardly wept tears of blood. Consider her stamina? That beast could sprint laps around the continent without breaking a sweat. I was the one drained from battling teenage hormones after her one-sided "candy-injection kiss," arriving with bags under my eyes!
In my past life, I'd have called an emergency teacher rights meeting: "This is abuse of authority, dumping blame on the weak!"
But reality was cruel. Shout "Reina force-fed me candy! She drained me!" and who knew what that smirking maniac beside me would do.
"……Yes. I'll keep it in mind."
Resigned to my role as the ultimate social underdog retainer, I bowed my head meekly. Whispers like "How beastly was the baron's son last night to worry about the lady's stamina?!" haunted me like hallucinations.
"Did I do good? Praised for it?"
As I bit my lip in frustration, Reina tugged my pants under the desk, whispering innocently.
Praise? I'm being treated like a delinquent about to be hauled to the office!
Yesterday's villain misunderstanding; today's academy scandal king. My peaceful, quiet "K-office worker" academy life shattered by day two morning.
Ding-dong-dang—
The bell rang, ending hellish roll call and signaling a short break before first period. Arthur bolted out the front as Reina stood.
"Cadel, gonna wash my hands. Stay put, no looking elsewhere."
"Yeah, sure. Take your time."
She adjusted her gloves and slipped out the back. I finally collapsed on my desk with a sigh of relief.
Hah, I might survive. Roll call shredded my mental health. Ten minutes till the prof arrives—nap time……
But the humble K-worker dream of sweet rest shattered in ten seconds flat.
Patpatpat—!
Like piranhas spotting prey, Class 1 students swarmed my desk in a buzzing horde. Elarra led, quill raised, eyes gleaming, notebook thrust in my face.
"Baron Evans! Salon de Lumière terrace incident—fact-check time! Did the lady pounce first, or did you seduce her fatally?!"
Behind her, Seraphina von Lumière clasped hands dreamily.
"Ahh, forbidden flames transcending status! Evans, please tell me—is that kiss the prelude to our houses' ruin? Or the start of a life-risking elopement?!"
Even saint-aspirant Isabella von Aris approached, clutching her holy book, voice quivering.
"Oh Lord…… Evans, was it coerced corruption? Confess, and I'll pray with you……."
The question barrage threatened to burst my eardrums. Someone sneered, "Hmph, lucky baron." Felix chimed cheerfully, "Baron, share some techniques!"
These kids……
Pressing my throbbing temples, I donned full "teacher mode," speaking dryly.
"Students. Don't get riled by unverified rumors. I'm merely fulfilling my duty as the lady's faithful retainer."
"Lies~! How does a master just climb her retainer's lap?!"
"Right! Elarra's notebook has over ten pages of eyewitness accounts!"
"That was… ahem. An accident. And."
I tapped the desk firmly, drawing a line.
"Instead of wasting energy on shallow gossip, preview magic math for next period. As the empire's top elites, focus on studies—not squandering stamina on rumors. Back to your seats."
Textbook boomer-teacher ironclad defense. I figured the boring lecture would scatter them.
But.
"Oh…… look at that confident attitude."
"He lectured us! A baron's son daring to teach us?!"
"That sly dog must have some 'weakness' on the lady to force……!"
…Are they collectively writing fanfic?!
My standard K-teacher speech only fueled their "trash drama filter." Chloe de Valua yelled from afar, "Vulgar! Utterly vulgar!"—yet her ears stretched my way. Total madhouse.
Suddenly, I was the era's ultimate villain ensnaring the lady. Midway through my blood-spitting justification—
Creak—
The back door opened. The foggy clamor froze icy cold. An overwhelming gravity field crept from the floor. Students' yapping mouths snapped shut. Stiff necks turned to see Reina back from the bathroom.
Her violet eyes, gripping the doorknob with gloved hands, had sunk into ominous abyssal depths.
Step. Step.
With each footfall, students around my desk parted like the Red Sea miracle. None dared block the silver beast's path.
Striding to me, she swept an icy glare over Elarra and Felix's group.
Then.
Smooth—
Instead of her seat, she hopped casually onto my desk, crossing her smooth legs under her skirt. Without hesitation, she yanked my tie, pulling me close.
"Gasp!"
My torso lurched; her dizzying scent enveloped me. Our eyes locked—hers cool from above.
"What are you bugs doing here."
Her low, lazy voice echoed thunderously. Leonhardt petrified in the corner; Julian spectated over his glasses.
She loosened her grip on my tie, then yanked my shoulder, plastering me against her.
To the swarming flies, she issued a clear, arrogant decree.
"He's mine."
"……!"
"Don't talk to him without my permission. Annoy me from the sidelines, and I'll rip every mouth apart."
A savage threat-laced territory claim.
…Phew.
Forcibly tucked against her, I sighed inwardly in relief. The brats' morning onslaught had drained me, but my employer drawing the line herself? Perfect.
Thank god. Shields her exclusive retainer from meddlers.
I misinterpreted her blind possessiveness as "employee welfare protection."
But unlike my peaceful filter, the classroom teetered on explosion.
"Wh-wh-whatttt!!"
"Elarra! She said 'mine'! Claiming ownership!"
"That's not mind control! She's genuinely protecting this baron!!"
Screams of shock and awe scattered them. The fake news wildfire, with Reina's brutal declaration, solidified into irrefutable fact—a historic moment.
"Good job? Scared off the pests. Praise me."
Ignoring the devastation, she nuzzled my shoulder like a great dane awaiting treats, eyes sparkling.
Utterly surrendered, I gazed at the blue sky outside.
Yeah, as long as it's not me. With my tearful mental victory, the academy-shaking scandal hardened deep in misunderstanding's swamp.