That's Not a Persona?

The inside of the gate was ordinary.

By ordinary, I mean it looked like the kind of dungeon you always see in hunter stories. The type they call a dungeon-style gate. There were plenty of other gate types out there, but that wasn't important right now.

For reference, you could tell a gate's rank by its color. The one Kim Dongmin and I had entered was a green gate — the kind even beginners could walk into without much trouble. A high-ranker could farm it for easy kills, but kicking the ladder out from under people in the hunter industry was supposedly a one-way ticket to ruin. At least, that's what the internet said.

Of course, with a Quick Gate like this one, none of that applied. You found it, you went in. Anything else was dereliction of duty.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

The reason I'd walked in without hesitation was simple. Not going in was dereliction of duty. There might not have been any formal punishment, but the Constellations weren't going to look kindly on it.

Once I was actually inside, I was pretty damn nervous. I wasn't exaggerating — my hands were shaking. Getting hit by a truck had hurt like hell, and if I died in here, I'd spend my last moments getting beaten to death by monsters. I hated pain.

Even so, I was here because — like I said — it was dereliction of duty, and because I was going to have to enter a gate eventually anyway.

Even if I hadn't gone in, the gate would've gone berserk and started spewing monsters eventually.

I'd crossed into this world and become a hunter. I had to do what needed doing.

"It's cleaner in here than I expected."

Oblivious to what was going through my head, Kim Dongmin was calmly surveying the interior.

"Ah — once you're in a gate, you should turn on your stream."

"Already did."

"Then we're good."

I'd noticed it before, but there was something off about the way this guy talked. Something that just rubbed you the wrong way. No manners in his words. He seemed like someone who valued efficiency, and yet somehow his own mood always came first.

I checked to make sure the stream was actually running properly.

"Not my boyfriend. He's a hunter from the Eclipse Guild. He went house-hunting with me in place of Han Nami."

"Oh for fuck's sake. Get out."

I cut them some slack because they were subscribers, and they just push it further every time.

Oh, right. Armor.

"Now that you mention it, I don't have any armor."

I'd tried for armor from a random box last time and failed.

"Oh, for real?"

I had no idea who Wheelchair Best Driver was, but a Constellation handing out free armor wasn't something that happened every day. I bought it immediately.

I hit Accept, and a new screen appeared.

I know this.

It looked just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠like the trade window from that famous maple-leaf game. I'd played it a lot as a kid — until some user scammed me, and I'd quit in tears with a broken little heart. The memory came flooding back.

I wonder how that bastard's doing.

I hoped he was doing badly. I hoped he got an ingrown toenail, suffered through the pain, then snagged that toenail on a doorframe and cried.

While I was lost in old grudges, a chat message popped up.

Wheelchair Best Driver handed over the armor. I checked the stats.

These were broken as hell.

The clothes and shoes even looked similar to what I was already wearing. Different in the details, sure, but from a distance you'd think they were the same outfit. If anything, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠these were prettier — they had that luxury-brand aura to them.

With auto-repair, contamination immunity, and purification built in, I could wear them as everyday clothes. And they left a pleasant scent, apparently.

…Why would you put that feature in?

Anyway, good was good. I decided not to overthink it.

Armor like this, free, just for doing one favor. Well — if there was a condition, it wasn't exactly free, but as long as the condition wasn't completely insane, I was ready to agree to anything.

…Though not knowing what kind of bizarre demand he might make was a little unsettling.

I was still fretting over worst-case scenarios when Wheelchair Best Driver's chat came through.

"That's easy. I'll promote you plenty."

Right. So this was product placement. Like an idol wearing designer clothes for an ad, I'd wear Wheelchair Best Driver's gear and advertise it. If anyone asked, "Where'd you get those clothes?" I'd just say, "Wheelchair Best Driver." I'd done the same thing plenty of times back when I streamed online. No problem.

"Then I'll gratefully accept."

The moment the trade finished, clothes and shoes appeared in front of me.

"…What's that?"

Kim Dongmin, who'd been watching me, asked.

"Ah — a Constellation sent me some clothes."

Which meant I had to change in front of this guy. Even if I'd originally been a man, changing clothes in front of another man was still embarrassing. I was about to ask him to step out of sight when—

"Man, those Constellations over there are handing out clothes, so why don't ours…"

What the hell was this guy.

I was stunned. People always said hunters were respectful toward Constellations. Why did this bastard sound just like me?

"Hey, don't talk like that. Do you know how much I love the Constellations?"

He muttered it while staring at wherever his chat window presumably was — like he'd already gotten an earful from them.

These little shits, I swear.

"I'm going to tell this guy to go somewhere else, turn off the screen, and change, okay? You all just want to watch me change clothes, don't you…"

Ah.

That function existed?

I did not know that.

Kim Dongmin and I began clearing the gate.

"Clearing" was a generous word for it — we were basically exploring a maze-like dungeon while killing whatever monsters we ran into. There were two main ways to clear a gate like this: kill the boss monster, or find and destroy a core hidden somewhere in the dungeon. Either way, you had to wander around.

Fully prepared, we set out through the dungeon.

"I already told you fifteen times not to just block straight-line attacks like earlier — deflect them. Why didn't you just say it sixteen times?"

That wasn't me talking. That was Kim Dongmin of the Eclipse Guild.

It wasn't that he was rude to the Constellations. His words were always polite. It was just that his word choice and tone somehow completely lacked any sense of manners.

Well, if that weren't the case, there's no way he'd be this rude to someone he'd just met.

Ah. So that wasn't deliberate needling?

That?

"Who's the person next to me, you ask? A hunter, obviously. Huh? You're asking how we know each other? Then you should've just asked it that way."

…That was seriously not a persona?

"Come on, is that really something to get mad about? It's only… gyagagak!"

Mid-conversation with the Constellations, Kim Dongmin suddenly twisted his body.

"…? Are ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you okay?"

"No. I'm not okay."

Who actually asked if he was okay? I was asking what the hell just made him do that.

Fuck.

Was it a mistake coming into this gate with this guy?

"Ah, that kind of question? One moment."

I was starting to get a sense of what he'd been talking about with the Constellations.

"The Constellations keep wanting to drop Heavenly Punishment on me, so instead of that, I set it up so that when they donate, I get a physical sh! ock!"

This bastard just took another hit.

"It won't trigger during combat, but outside of that, my reactions might look a little weird."

"…I see."

"Yes. Let's keep moving."

Clearing the gate with Kim Dongmin went smoothly. I'd hit something with my club, and he'd finish it with his sword. Clean combo work, thinning out the monsters as we went.

"There's a pack of monsters up ahead."

"I can see them too."

No shit you'd see them. If a guy stronger than me couldn't see that, that would be its own problem. Why did I say it, then? Because we were streaming.

Still, the chat seemed to find the banter with Kim Dongmin entertaining, because they were laughing.

"Same as before — I'll hit first, you finish them off."

"Understood."

We closed in on the pack. The monsters were dog-moles — literally what you'd get if you mashed a dog and a mole together. Strong bite force, sharp claws on their arms, plenty of things to watch out for. They could charge in a straight line fast, and they could dig into walls for ambushes.

Crunch—!

"Kihiiing!"

Of course, none of that mattered once a club hit them. Slow and steady, one at a time.

Crunch—! Slash!

I'd crack a dog-mole's skull, and Kim Dongmin would sever its neck with his sword. A simple but reliable hunting method. We were steadily working our way through the dungeon when—

Krrrrrk—

An ominous sound came from the wall.

"Sohee, look ou—!"

Before Kim Dongmin could even finish shouting, a dog-mole burst out beside me and lunged.

"Kuheeeong!"

"Kyaaaaah!"

Razor-sharp claws shot toward my stomach—

Ting!

And astonishingly, nothing happened.

Crunch—!