The Life of a Hako Streamer (7)
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Maybe it was the alcohol. I could feel my pulse and blood pressure surging wildly. The girl in front of me suddenly struck me again as an incredible beauty. The faint blush on her cheeks only made her look healthier, cuter. But this feeling was different from before. It wasn't just my heart racing because a pretty girl was beside me. Something indescribable was swirling inside me.
...Was it because she had affirmed my life? I couldn't pinpoint the reason. Yet if I kept staring blankly at Arine like this, I had the strange sense that I might cross a river with no return. As if I were about to harbor feelings toward her that shouldn't exist between us.
So, to pull my mind back, I greeted her.
"Thanks."
"Hm?"
"Thanks for saying that. And I'm sorry. I brought up something pointless on such a good day. You probably ended up feeling down because of me."
"Eh? No. I'm not down at all. Besides, I was the one who brought it up first, Doyun."
"It only turned out this way because I started complaining weirdly in the middle. It's not your fault."
Of course, that was how the flow went, but if I hadn't said anything negative or weak, it could've just been a pleasant conversation praising me. Instead, I'd unnecessarily weighed the mood down.
Arine took a sip of her beer, then smiled and said,
"So what? This is when you vent and talk about these things. Between friends. Right?"
"...I guess?"
"Of course~ You've already listened to plenty of my pointless TMI and complaints. How could I not do the same for you?"
That was different. Our positions weren't the same. She might think of us as equal partners, but this relationship was already unfair. Just by continuing to do content with her, I was gaining countless advantages. Of course, that wasn't why I'd listened to her stories. It was only natural that I always felt indebted to her. So hearing her vent to me didn't bother me in the slightest.
"...And we made a promise, didn't we? To listen to each other's complaints. That's why we exchanged numbers."
"Well, that's true."
"So don't feel sorry and just talk. That way I can pour out all my hardships to you too."
"...Got it. If that's the case, I won't feel sorry."
"Good, good. Then shall we eat the chicken now? It's gotten really cold while we were talking."
"Yeah."
Every single word she said to ease my burden felt warm. It was as if Arine's words carried their own gentle heat. I put a piece of the now slightly lukewarm chicken into my mouth. It was still crispy, but a little cold. Even so, my heart felt warm enough that I barely noticed the chill.
#
After finishing the meal, we cleaned up. Since it was boneless chicken, it wasn't difficult. Outside, dawn had already fallen and it was pitch dark. Watching her put on the coat she'd brought, I asked,
"Heading out now?"
"I have to. I've still got things to do at home."
"You have more work? You're seriously a workaholic. You'll die from overwork at this rate."
"Mind your own business. Who are you to talk, Doyun?"
Arine let out a small laugh, as if she found it absurd. She'd finished an entire can of beer, and a rosy flush lingered on her cheeks. Sending a girl who'd been drinking home alone at night didn't sit right with me. Since it was dark and cold outside, I grabbed my own coat and put it on. Arine looked at me curiously.
"Why are you getting ready? Where are you going?"
"I'm walking you home."
"Eh? It's fine."
"You drank. You looked a bit tipsy earlier. What if you collapse on the way?"
"I'm not drunk, okay? Besides, do I look like someone with such weak willpower that I'd pass out on the ground just because I had a little alcohol?"
"How would I know? This is the first time I've drunk with you."
Even as she said that, Arine didn't seem particularly displeased. She waited quietly while I put on my coat, then gathered the camera and small bag she'd brought. After tucking the camera into the bag, she stepped outside with me.
The chilly dawn air brushed against our faces. I asked her,
"So how are you getting back? Buses aren't running at this hour. Did you call a taxi?"
"Hm? No. An unnie I know is picking me up. I told her I was scared to take a taxi at night, so she said she'd give me a ride since she had something to do in Seoul anyway."
She'd mentioned that before. Being scared. If it weren't for that, she probably wouldn't have drunk at all.
"This early in the morning?"
"She has a meeting in the morning, so she said she needs to head up early. That unnie is always late, so when she has something important, she tends to leave ahead of time."
"Ah, really? Where's she coming from?"
At my question, Arine checked her phone and tapped on it for a moment.
"She said to wait on the main road. Somewhere visible."
"Okay. Then I'll stay with you until the car arrives."
"Yeah. Thanks, Doyun."
Arine, who had initially refused, now simply thanked me, perhaps recognizing my sincerity. We walked side by side and stood in a visible spot along the main road. But it was late at night, so only a few cars passed by. Not a single person was around.
A brief silence settled between us. Then Arine, standing quietly beside me, spoke first.
"Why are you so quiet, Doyun?"
"I don't really know what to say. And I'm usually quiet once the stream ends anyway."
"Liar. You weren't this quiet even when the camera was off. Should we talk about that thing from earlier, then?"
"What thing?"
"How it felt when you hugged my waist on stream?"
She grinned mischievously as she said it. The malicious intent behind the question was obvious. She just wanted to use me as a boredom-relief punching bag. This girl. Well, I was bored too, so this time I decided to play along with her game.
"How it felt, huh. Hmm."
"Actually, that was the first time anyone's hugged me like that. You should feel honored you got my first hug, Doyun."
"First time? You?"
"Why? Am I not allowed to have never hugged anyone before?"
"No, it's not that you can't..."
She'd never hugged anyone. Not a kiss, but a hug. Did that mean Arine had never dated before? With that pretty face? If she just stood still, she would've received confessions a hundred times over. I couldn't believe it.
"Wait, hold on. So you're telling me you're a kissless virgin?"
"......Why? Is that not allowed? What if I am?"
"Seriously? You?"
"Why do you look like you can't believe it? Is it such a crime that someone like me has never dated?"
"No, I didn't say it was a crime."
"...No. Your eyes were clearly saying that."
She was obviously flustered. The way she suddenly started rambling without breathing was just cute. Without realizing it, I let out a sigh of relief inside. For some reason, the fact that she'd never dated made me happy. And the fact that today's hug was her first hug in life, and that all the skinship we'd do from now on—even if it was just acting—would also be her first. A subtle sense of pleasure welled up at the thought that I was the one taking Arine's firsts.
"I just couldn't understand it. It's surprising that someone as pretty as you has never dated. Guys would've swarmed you even if you just stood still."
"...Well, yeah, that's true. Ahem. Of course guys swarmed me. A lot. That's why I didn't want to do it even more. Because they only approached me for my looks. And during my trainee days, I was mentally overwhelmed so I didn't have time to date, and even after going independent, I was always busy."
"That makes sense. Yeah."
I understood. It was Arine, who had trauma about her appearance. She would've pushed away men who only clung to her for her looks. And dating was something that required a bit of breathing room in life. Maybe now was actually the right time for Arine to try dating. She had a stable life as a proper large streamer now.
"Anyway, so how did it feel?"
"Ah, right. You wanted to hear my impression?"
I didn't know why she wanted to hear it, but since she was curious, whatever.
"At first, I put my hand on your waist and my palm on your side, right?"
"Yeah."
"But your side felt so soft against my hand—ack!"
"Don't lie! I don't have any fat on my sides! Do you want to die?"
She pinched my arm for that. No, it wasn't a pinch—it was more like she was tearing off a chunk of flesh. Ow. That hurt. I thought a piece of meat was going to come off.
"J-Just kidding. I was surprised because your waist was so slim."
"Right? Hehem."
"Yes, yes."
Only after my answer did she finally let go, looking satisfied. Then she continued, looking a bit worried.
"But hey, Doyun."
"Yeah?"
"...If we've already raised expectations this much with this collab, the next one probably won't end at just holding hands, right? Viewers are going to expect something more stimulating."
"Probably."
That was why I'd wanted to take it slow. But because she suddenly provoked me, it ended up like this. Well, now that it had happened, blaming anyone wouldn't do any good. At least the stream today had good reactions, so that was a good thing.
"I'm a little worried. What should we do next time? Do we really have to kiss or something?"
As she said that, Arine turned her head to look at me. Without realizing it, my gaze drifted to her crimson lips.
"Why are you already worrying about that? We'll think about it when the time comes. We don't even know when the next in-person collab will be."
"...I guess. Aren't you worried, Doyun?"
"Worried about what?"
"Well, something with strong skinship like kissing might feel a bit much, right? We're not actually dating, and you seem totally fine with it?"
There was no way I'd dislike it. No guy in the world would hate kissing her. But if I said that honestly, it would be too blatant. Not wanting to reveal my ugly inner thoughts, I spoke as if it didn't bother me at all.
"If I don't want to, I don't have to. What can we do? I've already braced myself. I'll do it."
I said it in a tone that made it sound like I had no choice. As I tried to appeal to her with that attitude that I was a man without any personal feelings,
"......What was that tone? Do you hate kissing me?"
...Was she annoyed now? Hold on. For some reason, Arine's tone was suddenly starting to turn cold.