How to Steal Your Childhood Friend's Panties

Dead center in my field of vision, a cold blue translucent screen drifted into existence like something swimming through empty air.

And the instant those mechanical letters began to flicker, a vicious, hideous pain seized my entire upper body — as if a razor-honed awl were driving without mercy straight into the deepest core of my heart.

"Ugh… haah…"

Just like everyone else, I'd been hit by a giant truck and reincarnated.

And today marked exactly three days since I'd fallen into this grotesque, unfamiliar world inside a book.

I hadn't hoped to awaken some world-shaking munchkin magic or the kind of sword talent that could cut down a thousand men alone. All I'd wanted was an ordinary academy life — coast a little on my family's influence, climb the ranks just enough, and live out a peaceful, cozy existence sucking on easy honey.

The problem was that instead of the amazing cheat key or brilliant magical talent everyone else seemed to get, I'd opened my eyes with this insane curse handed to me like some kind of privilege.

"Haah, haah… ugh, please…"

Gasping for breath, bloodshot eyes straining, I forced my head up with everything I had.

This was a private reading room tucked into the farthest corner of the Elysion Academy library — a secret, quiet space sealed off on every side by towering shelves of ancient tomes, completely beyond the reach of outside eyes.

The heavy scent of old parchment and worn leather bindings hung thick in the air. Soft afternoon sunlight filtered through the window cracks in gentle, comb-like rays.

And seated directly across from me was the childhood friend I'd grown up with since we were snot-nosed kids.

A genius beauty who'd entered the academy as the runner-up on the entrance exam. The textbook tsundere who normally snapped at me with merciless barbs yet somehow always ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠looked after me in a hundred quiet little ways.

Chloe.

With a large red ribbon perched on her head, she was reading a magic text, her captivating cherry-blossom pink short hair swaying with every small movement. Those red eyes — a stark contrast against her pale white skin — flicked toward me for a moment.

Insane. Is this thing actually deranged?

Steal her panties? The underwear of this prickly, pride-stuffed childhood friend of mine?

Fuck. And not even ones washed and put away in a drawer — the ones she's wearing right now? Does that even make sense?

"Adrian? What's been wrong with you? Are you sick? Why are you sweating so much?"

Chloe stopped turning the pages of her heavy assignment grimoire and looked at me with genuine concern in her eyes. Her bright pink short hair, set against that porcelain skin, caught the sunlight and shimmered with a translucent glow.

She wore a thin cardigan over her neat academy uniform shirt. Every time the air stirred, a faint lily-of-the-valley perfume brushed past my nose.

But I had no room left to care about any of that.

Against my will, my gaze drifted naturally beneath the desk.

Under the sway of her skirt — thighs smoothly wrapped in black over-knee socks. Soft, sleek-looking skin. Those alluring legs I would have glanced past without a second thought on any other day now rose before me like a colossal wall dividing life from death.

The crimson digits ticked down with cruel precision.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart began to thrash like a thing gone mad. The death-pain crushing my chest bored steadily deeper, all the way into my brain matter.

This status window was not joking. The second the timer hit zero, it fully intended to rupture my heart.

Shame? Morality? Humanity?

Before the overwhelming cliff face of death, every lofty value was nothing but dust.

I had to live. No matter what hellish thing it took — I had to survive first.

Clink—.

I deliberately let my hand tremble and dropped my quill pen beneath the desk.

"Ah, my pen fell…"

"You're so clumsy. Still as scatterbrained as ever. I'll pick it up for—"

"No! I'll get it! You stay right there!"

I shouted first — almost a scream — and ducked under the desk in a frantic rush.

The dark, hidden space beneath the wooden desk. Chloe's two legs revealed themselves right before my eyes, composed and serene.

Through the gap in her short uniform skirt, that snow-white skin — so delicate it looked like it might burst at a touch — seized my gaze and refused to let go.

My vision began to tint red and blur. Proof that the pain in my heart had reached its limit.

No more time to stall. No luxury left to craft a perfect plan.

I swallowed hard and savagely shut down my reason.

"Chloe."

"What? Why are you down there so long? Can't you find the pen?"

"You've got… something huge stuck to your leg. This looks like a poisonous bug?!"

"Kyaaah?! A bug?! No, where is it?! ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Get it off, Adrian! Please!"

At the word bug, Chloe convulsed in a full-body shudder and squeezed her eyes shut tight. Her fingers clenched white-knuckled around the edges of her chair.

A despicable, filthy tactic that exploited my childhood friend's fatal weakness — but the death-terror boring into my brain had already crushed my sense of ethics into paste.

Those few brief seconds when terror had completely hijacked her mind.

My hand drove in without hesitation, plunging into her uniform skirt the way a hunter lunges at prey.

Sliiiide—.

The first thing my fingertips met was the soft texture of cotton fabric. And then the warm body heat radiating from Chloe's tender skin, carrying a mild feverish heat.

What she was wearing was a pure white cotton pair — underwear that suited her innocent, proper image perfectly.

"H-huh…? Adrian? Where is your hand right n— eep?!"

"Stay still! The bug went up into your skirt! I've almost got it!"

I shouted with shameless boldness, hooked my fingers into the elastic of the panties cradling her firm backside, and yanked them hard downward.

Swoooosh—.

"Ah…! Haaah?!"

A strange, half-moaned cry I'd never once heard from Chloe spilled from her lips.

The panties slid smoothly down the sleek line of her thighs and settled in a heap around her ankles in a single motion.

In that frozen instant — when the never-before-felt freedom of stripped underwear and the cool air touching bare soft skin turned Chloe to stone — I snatched that white, still-warm scrap of cloth at the speed of light and shoved it deep into the pocket of my uniform pants.

Along with the warm sensation still lingering in my pocket, the catastrophic pain crushing my chest vanished as if it had all been a lie.

A sensation of fresh vitality flooding every inch of my body.

I was alive. Overwhelmed by relief I couldn't contain, I exhaled a ragged breath and pushed myself back up above the desk.

But the real hell was only just beginning.

"You… what the hell did you just do…?"

Across the desk, Chloe's face had gone past beet-red — flushed so scarlet it looked ready to burst. Both hands shook like aspen leaves as she clutched the hem of her uniform skirt in a death grip, her whole body trembling ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠violently.

The hollow emptiness that had settled over her lower half. The strange sensation of cold air touching bare skin with nothing left to block it. Through those feelings, she realized her underwear had been completely plundered.

Tears welled in her wide eyes as a crushing mix of betrayal and shame slowly filled them.

"You— you… you took mine, didn't you? Right now I'm not… wearing anything down there…! Hic, you've actually lost your mind?!"

No matter how much she normally snapped at me as a childhood friend, having her underwear stolen in broad daylight inside the academy library was more than anyone could bear.

The very moment Chloe, on the verge of tears, grabbed her bag and tried to flee her seat—

Beep—.

A cruel, mechanical sound effect slammed into my ears again, enough to make my mind go blank.

"…You insane son of a bitch."

A genuinely heartfelt curse slipped out of me in a low growl.

The panties in my pocket still held a burning heat. Chloe was glaring at me through tears, drowning in the shame and betrayal of having her underwear stolen.

And at my crotch, thanks to the Excitement Mana the system had forcibly pumped into my body, something began to swell to an abnormal degree.

This deranged system bastard clearly had zero intention of letting me live in peace.