What Am I Supposed to Do?
"Hmm, hm-hmm~."
A lively young girl's humming drifted through the quiet corridors of the temple. Her song was so bright and fresh that little birds gathered around her, chirping along in time.
"Lillian!"
A woman in priestly robes approached the girl. Lillian turned, her sky-blue eyes—luminous as the sea—widening in mild surprise.
"What is it, Senior?"
"What on earth are you doing here?!"
"Pardon? There seemed to be a little dust in the corridor, so I was cleaning…"
"This is no time for cleaning. His Holiness the Pope has summoned you!"
At the woman's unexpected words, Lillian started in shock and covered her mouth with one hand. She stared at her senior in bewilderment.
"Th-the Pope?"
"Yes! He's looking for you urgently, so hurry along. I'll take over the cleaning. Go on!"
The woman snatched the rag from Lillian's hands. A moment later she gave the girl a firm push between the shoulder blades, and Lillian had no choice but to start walking.
"Then I'll come right back and help! We can clean together."
At Lillian's bashful smile, the woman blinked blankly. Leaving her behind, Lillian turned and continued on her way. Bright sunlight caught her pink hair and made it glow even more brilliantly.
Her humming rose again, filling the air with cheer. After a few steps Lillian paused, stretched with elegant grace, and slowly extended her arms and legs. As the tension melted from her body and a cool, refreshing energy settled in, she smiled brightly once more.
"Still… I can hardly believe it."
Of all people, the Pope himself. Why would someone like him be looking for her? Worry stirred, yet alongside it a quiet thrill at the thought of some new change began to bloom.
Something good is bound to happen.
After walking a long while, the girl lifted her face to the sky with a smile as radiant as a flower.
"Right, Goddess?"
As if answering that beautiful smile, the heavens bestowed sunlight every bit as bright and warm as her own.
"Vi-Viviana…"
Gulp.
I swallowed hard under the sharp violet eyes boring down on me. Their owner wore a sullen look and held my wrist in a tight grip.
"Vi-Viviana? Could you let go of this, please…"
"Why? Planning to go fawn over the other young ladies again?"
The peculiar pressure in Viviana's voice left me speechless. I scrambled through my thoughts, trying to make sense of her mood.
How had it come to this?
Barely an hour ago I had been nestled among Shari-one and her circle. Shari-one had comforted me over the whole affair with Mardian, and the other young ladies had stroked my hair and lavished affection on me.
Receiving the love of young ladies from powerful houses—that was my own way of surviving. Just another ordinary day in high society. But right in the middle of being petted—
"…You seem to be living quite the charmed life, Lady Tina."
Viviana had appeared out of nowhere, seized my arm, and dragged me straight into the banquet's reception room. Her sudden arrival left me blinking in a daze for a long moment.
Was this banquet hosted by the imperial family…?
No. It was just one of those regular, unremarkable gatherings that rolled around every so often. Viviana, who barely showed her face even at banquets the palace itself invited her to, turning up at a modest affair like this—that was the real mystery.
Now the two of us sat alone on a sofa in the reception room. Those violet eyes kept staring straight through me, and I couldn't help feeling flustered.
"Why would you come to a banquet like this, Viviana…?"
"Am I not allowed at banquets like this? I didn't know. I don't recall ever being banned from entry."
"Ah—no, that isn't what I meant…"
Why was this happening?
Viviana's expression looked thoroughly irritated. A little angry, maybe, or just sulky. I couldn't pin her mood down at all.
"Viviana, are you angry…?"
"No? What would I have to be angry about."
Even when I asked, she denied it.
I had no idea what she wanted me to do.
While I sat there hesitating, unable to find the right words, Viviana finally let out a deep sigh and released my hand.
"Forget it. I came looking for you for a different reason."
"Y-you came looking for me?"
"Yes. Otherwise, why would I bother coming to this banquet."
That Viviana had turned up at a gathering like this simply to see me—it was puzzling, yet it left me with a strange feeling. I couldn't name the emotion exactly… but it didn't feel bad.
"I heard the news. You settled for a few coins of compensation from the Abreldein Countship and that was the end of it?"
"…Yes, that's right."
So that was what this was about—Mardian. Whether because the memory of it still lingered or not, I really didn't want to dig into that subject.
"Shall I help you?"
"Pardon?"
A faint smile touched Viviana's lips. That pretty curve set against her sharp features gave her a cool, effortless air.
"Don't you resent that woman Mardian? I can't promise anything definite, but I can help you bring her down."
"You, Princess? Why?"
"I don't particularly care for that woman either. Those eyes of hers that looked ready to challenge me weren't exactly pleasant."
I was thrown. When I'd played the game as Lillian, Mardian had been a villainess—but in the original plot, Mardian and Viviana never crossed paths at all. A development where Viviana herself stepped forward to oppose Mardian simply never existed.
So this must have happened because of me—the irregular. I looked at Viviana with a carefully composed calm.
"I'm fine. I'll gratefully accept only your kind intentions, Princess."
Honestly, whatever the original story did was none of my business. Whether the empire flourished or fell, whether Lillian became the Saintess or the Empress—none of it mattered. As long as I could live a comfortable, idle life with Mother, everything was fine.
And besides, Lillian would take care of Mardian on her own. There was no need for me to go sticking my neck out on some pointless adventure.
"…You're fine with it?"
As if she hadn't expected that answer, Viviana tilted her head with a puzzled look.
"Yes. I'd rather just let this whole matter go."
"Strange."
What was strange about it? When I asked, Viviana settled a faintly mocking smile on her lips and fixed her gaze on me.
"The Pet Young Lady I know would have seized a chance like this and tried to sweet-talk me over to her side. In that clingy little voice—'I'll only trust you,' or 'There's no one else but you.'"
"Eh…?"
"Why pretend you don't know? Both you and I already understand your true nature, so I'd prefer you didn't hide it in front of me."
"…"
"Or is it that, unlike the other young ladies, you no longer feel the need to put on an act with me? Because you don't need me?"
Why?
At Viviana's cold words, my spirits sank a little.
But nothing she said was wrong. The old me would have used Viviana without a second thought. If I could have leveraged my knowledge of the game to win her over and extract some benefit, I would have done it without hesitation.
But I didn't want to.
Unlike me, Viviana had a bright future waiting for her. As long as she played the piano on schedule and kept her Corruption Gauge down, she would go on to achieve feats worthy of being called a hero.
How could I possibly hold on to someone like that?
Of course, the old me would have shrugged and thought, Who cares about any of that?, and tried to pull her onto my side anyway. But now…
"…Idiot."
The word slipped out in a small mutter, born of pure sulkiness. Whether she heard it or not, Viviana frowned one eyebrow and tipped my chin up with her fingers.
"Idiot? Was that aimed at me?"
"…You told me not to treat you pretentiously."
"Hm?"
"Because you said that, Viviana, I've been trying to speak only what's really in my heart… but all that comes out are hurtful things…"
"…Huh?"
Viviana's violet eyes trembled hard. I couldn't bear to meet them and dropped my head low.
"A-and I don't want to treat you pretentiously either, Viviana?"
There it was again—that same symptom.
The words wouldn't come out properly.
As if I'd lost language itself.
My head wasn't injured, yet the fluent speech I managed every other day now felt too embarrassing to force out, letter by letter.
Leaving Viviana waiting in silence, I fidgeted with my fingers and forced my mouth open.
"O-of course I know this version of me is strange… but I want to treat you sincerely, Viviana, and I just don't know how… I don't know how I'm supposed to smile…"
"…"
If I said another word, my face would burst from sheer mortification. I wasn't a child—had talking always been this hard?
Pathetic.
I couldn't even manage simple language. It felt like I'd been thrown back to the days before my childhood friend drilled social skills into me. I'd wanted so badly to leave that timid self behind—that was why I'd learned to wear a mask and deal with people…
And yet, after saying I hated that mask, I found myself resenting Viviana for suddenly acting so willful.
"I don't know. I'm leaving."
I stood up, irritation thick in my voice. I meant to walk straight out, but Viviana's hand shot out and clamped hard around my wrist. The grip was stronger than I expected; a sharp, stinging pain flared through it.
Startled, I looked at her. But Viviana kept her head down, avoiding my eyes. Without meeting my gaze, she muttered under her breath.
"…Sorry, my lady. Forget what I said earlier. I'd rather you treat me with pretense."
At those truly incomprehensible words, irritation surged up hot. I was trying to deal with her properly—why did she keep treating me like a liar?
"I refuse. I'll only show you my honest self, Viviana. Even if you find it frustrating, it can't be helped."
I all but shouted it at her, both cheeks burning. But even under that scolding, Viviana still hung her head and gave no answer at all.
How long the silence stretched between us, I couldn't say. At last Viviana released my hand without a word. Exploding with shame, I stormed out of the room.
Just before I left, I glanced back at her one last time. She had covered her mouth with one hand and, still bowed low, muttered something in a voice too soft to carry.
"No—I mean that seems even more dangerous…"
With those unintelligible words from Viviana hanging in the air, I slammed the door hard behind me. Cool air in the corridor washed over my flaming cheeks and cooled them.
I must have seen wrong…
I could have sworn that, in that final glimpse, Viviana's ears had gone bright red. But after thinking it over a few times, I decided I had to have been mistaken.
It was Viviana, after all.
Someone like her would never blush over a person like me.