I Had the Talent to Kill People (3)
I blinked.
Blink. Blink.
I stared at the ceiling lamp hanging overhead while blinking my eyes.
I seemed not to have died.
Would I really go and die without properly enjoying a beautiful girl's body? That would be an all-out loss for my entire life.
If I had died like that, I would have wandered the afterlife, grumbling.
"Ugh..."
It felt like throwing up.
The moment I sat up from the bed, dizziness, headache, nausea, and muscle pain hit all at once.
I felt like an old lady in her eighties.
"Ha..."
I unconsciously let out a girlish sigh.
Breathing was difficult. It hurt as if someone was squeezing my lungs.
My vision was blurry, so the things right beside the bed weren't clear.
The water cup, the chair, and the uniform hanging on the wall all had their outlines distorted, like ink bleeding in water.
Even after blinking several more times, nothing changed.
Black spots began to crawl like bugs at the edges of my vision, and soon half of my sight was covered.
I collapsed back onto the bed.
'...My eyesight isn't that bad, right?'
No.
Clear and transparent pupils on a beautiful girl were life itself.
If my eyes got bad, how was I supposed to observe the expressions of others?!
Losing these imperial eyes would be a national loss.
A beautiful girl without pupils would be no different from a beanless fish bread or kimchi-less kimchi rice!
'...Well, as long as she's beautiful, the demand should still be there.'
—
[Noise]
Bandages?
No, I mean, no. It's not that I don't want them.
Is there a special reason for covering my eyes?
—
I suppressed my anxiety with a trivial thought and reached for the table beside the bed.
My arm wouldn't rise.
Precisely, it rose but then fell.
Thud.
It was my arm, yet it didn't listen.
The tips of my fingers were cold like ice, and I couldn't put proper strength into my fingers.
The veins under the back of my hand were unusually prominent.
Was my skin thin?
Or was blood truly not circulating properly?
To confirm, I clenched my fist.
My fingers trembled, but they couldn't even half-bend and snapped open.
'...This is dangerous.'
My heart is beating.
And yet, for a long time, I felt no pulse at all.
As I was about to run out of breath, my heart beat twice more, quickly.
My pulse was a mess.
I tried to take a deep breath, but my lungs remained rigid without even inflating half.
"Ugh..."
It felt like a knife was stabbed into my chest.
Shallow breathing left me short of air, and deep breathing brought on pain.
Sweat trickled down my forehead. My body was cold, but my back and neck were drenched in sweat from excessive moisture.
Wet hair clung to my face and tormented me.
I tasted blood in my mouth.
When I ran my tongue over my upper lip, the dried blood stains felt rough.
It was dried nasal blood from the shooting range.
'...A sickly beautiful girl?!'
Pale skin, long breaths, bloodless lips, and trembling fingers.
It was a perfectly sickly beautiful girl as if drawn in a picture.
If someone saw it, they'd think it was a pretty drawing.
But the problem was that no one was around to appreciate this form.
If I had known this would happen, I should have used magic in a crowded place...
Sweating a lot had dried out my throat.
I gritted my teeth and endured the pain and walked toward the cup, which was on the side.
Well, I said I walked, but it was more like crawling.
I reached out to grab the water cup, and my fingertips touched it.
Clatter.
The cup toppled sideways and spilled water onto the table, and the cup itself fell straight toward the floor.
Crash!
A loud sound echoed, and a headache came.
My vision turned completely white.
Tinnitus rang in my ears, and my stomach flipped.
"Ugh..."
Since my stomach was empty, nothing came out.
My empty stomach contracted, squeezing my poor throat over and over.
The hand gripping the edge of the bed lost its strength.
I had almost crawled to the edge of the bed just to drink some water, but damn it.
My body tilted sideways.
My head was about to fall toward the floor.
"Winterland!"
Someone grabbed my shoulder.
It was a brilliant timing, right before my forehead and the floor did a high-five.
Blurred blue hair appeared in my vision.
Senior Sergeant Misty.
The usual lifeless face was gone, replaced by enlarged pupils, tightly closed lips, and eyebrows twisted as if about to cry.
Ah, ah...! Such a good expression!
I wanted to appreciate it, but my eyelids kept drooping downward.
"You shouldn't get up. Your body isn't in a state where you can move."
"Water... please..."
"Understood."
My voice wasn't coming out properly.
It sounded like air leaking, and I didn't want to hear it. The beautiful voice of a beautiful girl sounded cold.
Was there no beautiful girl minimum correction?
My head throbbed again.
I thought there would be a scent from the sweaty me... but without beautiful girl minimum correction, the sweat smell was just there.
Senior Sergeant Misty carefully laid my body back onto the bed and brought a new water cup.
She supported my head with one hand and brought the cup to my lips.
I swallowed a sip of water.
It felt like my throat was tearing.
I had to endure pain just to swallow one mouthful of water.
"...How long did I sleep?"
"Two days and a half."
"So much..."
"You were about to die, after all."
"But you didn't die."
"What kind of nonsense is that?"
Senior Sergeant Misty's voice trembled as if she was angry.
...Looking at it from a slightly different perspective, it sounded like she was scared.
I tried to smile.
Because saying I was fine here would probably give a better expression.
But only the corners of my mouth twitched a little, and it didn't rise properly.
It became an awkward smile.
"I overused magic."
"..."
"You don't know about your limits either? You spent your lifespan."
"How much did it decrease?"
"I don't know."
"Could it have decreased by just one day?"
"It could be."
"Could it have decreased by ten years?"
"...It could be."
My head became complicated.
The lifespan I used couldn't be returned. And I might have spent ten years.
I wanted to live long.
Thin, and as long as possible.
That was the first principle.
'...Could I have died for ten years just because of the shooting genius beautiful girl concept?'
Suddenly, I felt like objecting.
It was a mental reason.
—
[Noise]
Impressive, right?
Yes. I'm impressive.
...That wasn't in the sense I meant. It was sarcasm, wasn't it?
Die.
No, really, don't get hurt.
I didn't mean it sincerely.
—
Senior Sergeant Misty put down the water cup and wiped the water around my mouth with a cloth.
Her touch was cautious, but her expression was anything but.
It was a face full of anger.
"Why did you exceed your limits?"
"...To hit the target."
"Just for that reason...!"
"It wasn't just that. It was an important test, wasn't it?"
"More important than your life?"
"...A soldier does what he's told. That's how I was taught."
Well, of course my life is more precious!
Answering like this lets me see a better expression. Let's call it strategic lying.
"You..."
"I'm sorry."
"Now you're suddenly apologizing? What are you thinking?"
"Senior Sergeant seemed angry, so I apologized for not knowing my own mistake."
"You."
...My tone suddenly changed.
"Why are you doing that?"
"..."
"It's your body. It's your life. Why do you treat it so lightly? Did you come to the army because you really wanted to die? Right? Is that it?"
"..."
"I thought you wouldn't be normal because the squad leader said you impressed him. I thought you were an incontinent soldier when shooting. But what is this?"
Ah, I see.
This was the real appearance of Senior Sergeant Misty without the mask.
I had a rare view.
"I'm sorry."
"Then why are you apologizing!"
"...I'm sorry for treating my own life lightly."
The mask was broken. Once was enough.
I didn't want to see more.
A rare scenery is only valuable when it's rare.
If you keep looking and consuming images, the rare becomes valueless, loses its original color, and turns into something familiar.
That's why I gave her the correct answer so she could put the mask back on.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her emotions calming.
The firm mask rose over her face again.
"I will get up."
"...Yes."
"I'm Senior Sergeant Misty and at the same time your observer. In the future, refrain from such actions. Prioritize your life."
"Understood."
She stood up from her seat and headed toward the tent entrance.
It looked like she was about to leave.
I felt a bit sorry to send her off like that.
Perhaps because the Empire had read my thoughts, a single ray of starlight came in from the tent entrance at just the right time.
It was a metaphorical expression, and at the same time, it wasn't.
The Empire's star smiled at the tent entrance.
"Hello?"
Lieutenant Mauer entered the tent with a cheerful smile, completely uninvited.
Senior Sergeant Misty was pushed back into the tent by Lieutenant Mauer's body.
At the same time, the furious Senior Sergeant Misty threw a word at Lieutenant Mauer.
It looked like a dramatic scene.
"Why was Chloe Winterland brought to this squad even though you knew about her magic usage limit?"
"Eh?"
"I'm asking why."
"Had the soldier been asked for a reason? I don't know?"
"..."
"And do snipers need to use a lot of magic? One shot is enough, right?"
Crunch.
Someone was grinding their teeth.
Probably Senior Sergeant Misty.
"Are you planning to order a child to kill people?"
"Eh. By the way, Misty, are you still looking for morality on the battlefield? I thought that age had passed."
"I'm looking for humanity, Lieutenant Mauer."
"Anyway, for our Chloe, there's something really important! Like assassinating an officer or something!"
...It sounded like I had heard some huge story.
Lieutenant Mauer, not knowing my inner feelings, immediately brought up the next topic.
"Ah, right! Chloe, a letter came for you! I completely forgot to tell you!"
I was nervous.
I was expecting it.
—
[Noise]
If I couldn't meet you again, what kind of life would I have lived?
—
