Feedback 2: Not Quite as Planned
"Somehow, it feels a bit different from what I had planned."
"Is there something unsatisfactory, Master?"
"Not exactly... I just wonder if I made you more tired by bringing it up in the first place. You're handling all the driving by yourself in the end..."
I wasn't sure if it was the car's quality or Yukiko's driving skills, but riding in a car she drove felt as comfortable as lounging on a sofa.
"Wasn't that something we agreed on in the parking lot?"
"Yeah, true..."
I definitely used to have a driver's license, but my attempt at driving after so long was a disaster.
"No, it's just been too long, so I'm out of practice? The car feels different from the ones I drove before, and it has all these weird features..."
"I'm just an ordinary human, so if the car crashes into something, I'll die."
"It wasn't that bad..."
"My life matters, of course, but if someone like you, Master, tried to drive the car you're riding in, I absolutely wouldn't allow it."
Yukiko drew a firm line. Given her personality, she might find it more painful that a crash would ruin my mood than any actual danger to herself.
"Fine, driving aside, you ended up handling the bento prep and restaurant reservations too."
"Those weren't difficult tasks, and originally, such things are for subordinates to handle."
Sure enough, even if it felt a bit awkward, it might've been better to prepare everything secretly like I'd originally planned. I'd wanted to give Yukiko a break, but instead, I'd piled more work on her.
"Even a free woman would make this much effort to meet her boyfriend. I have no other job, so I can devote myself entirely to serving you—I'm in a fortunate position."
"Girlfriend, huh..."
Unlike the old days, men no longer had to chase women just for sex. Still, having a girlfriend was more common than owning slaves for satisfying sexual needs. There were plenty of beautiful women who didn't want to become slaves, but far fewer who didn't want a boyfriend at all. Plus, women who lived in the same country as a man had an advantage foreign women couldn't match: pre-war memories.
"Was there no woman you wanted to sleep with?"
"Well, no one specific comes to mind right now."
Few men had dated foreign women before the war, and the slaves who came in afterward were seen as "fair game." But the women from pre-war society were different. The past, where men assumed they'd never have those women, was the ultimate spice that made them alluring. The delinquent girl who'd ignored him would show up at a reunion, desperately vying for his attention. The beautiful boss or cute junior who'd tormented him at work would invoke old ties to meet him. His older brother's or friend's stunning wife, once untouchable, would suddenly become a vulnerable widow. Few men wouldn't get excited in such situations.
"But... really, no one comes to mind now."
Even back in school, I hadn't hung out much with others.
"School friends might pop into my head at a reunion, but... I don't really want to go looking."
The war had broken out just before I entered the workforce, so aside from school and the military, I'd had no encounters with women, no one who stood out.
"The people I met in the military... there were kind, pretty, cute ones, but remembering military life itself isn't exactly pleasant..."
"Was there someone you liked?"
"Hmm, maybe? Sort of."
I gazed blankly into the past.
"Honestly, I still don't know. There were girls I thought were pretty. I'd sneak glances, wondering if I'd ever see them again."
"That's an intriguing story."
"Eh, that's it. I never confessed, wasn't even sure if it was love. Time just passed like that. And that was back in elementary school."
"I was forbidden from interacting with men to save myself for one man. But Master, why did you make that choice?"
Yukiko's gentle words stabbed deep.
"You always care about my life or Mikoto's happiness, but to me, it seems you're the one too stingy with your own pleasure."
"No, I mean, back then it was tough, even if it's not now?"
"In an environment full of chances to connect with women, refusing to date one is just giving up joy yourself, isn't it? Why not just approach a girl you like and tell her to be yours?"
I had no retort to Yukiko framing my student days as a "choice." Words swirled in my mind, but they all led to ugly truths about myself.
"...It wasn't easy."
"Leaving the past aside, how about dating someone now?"
You didn't need shared history for a girlfriend. Some met partners through meetings—a softer version of the slave market—or naturally in daily life if they were open to it. Spot a pretty girl at a convenience store, restaurant, or department store? Jump straight to sex on the spot.
"That doesn't appeal to me... Not sure."
"You don't like that approach?"
"Yeah... I want more time to get to know each other, a deeper connection."
Popular guys from back then said things hadn't changed much. They'd just skipped the skilled lies and the guilt. They didn't care about a woman's past or future—just the moment. It might've earned scorn before, but now it harmed no one. If she got pregnant and dumped, the state would pamper her in the man's place. Touching them once might even help them or society more than guys like me who just passed by blankly.
Still, I didn't want that.
"A deeper connection... Come to think of it, Mikoto's feelings for you run much deeper than I expected."
"Mikoto?"
"Everything she shows you is an act. It doesn't harm you, so I said nothing, but she loves you far more than you realize."
I said nothing, just closed my eyes.
/////
"We've arrived."
The spot was an ordinary park. Even on a weekday afternoon, people passed by sporadically.
"Any special reason for choosing this place?"
"Just... I came here a lot as a kid, so I wanted to come back with you."
Stepping out of the parking lot felt nostalgic in a new way. I'd known there was one, but in hundreds of visits, I'd never entered through it.
"What now?"
"No idea... Wanna walk?"
As always, Yukiko positioned herself a step behind to follow me.
"Well, it's a date, so..."
I cautiously took her hand, gentle enough not to hurt.
Glancing at her face, her expression was colder than usual—the one for deep thoughts, worries, or bad moods.
I let go quickly, racking my brain for what I'd done wrong. Mad I grabbed without asking? But we went all the way every night; a hand shouldn't piss her off. Some etiquette I didn't know? I'd washed my hands that morning, but maybe the car door handle dirtied them—should've used a wet wipe.
"This is dangerous."
"Huh?"
"It feels too good. I knew touching you felt great, but this is excessive."
Good, she didn't hate it.
"Not just that—you, who usually avoids physical contact, took my hand first..."
Her face slowly softened—a rare sight outside nights of moaning ecstasy.
"Being marked as yours in front of so many people... Ah, such excessive pleasure for an unworthy slave like me. I've already received more happiness than I deserve❤"
Yukiko smiled radiantly. Stunned by the rare beauty, I just admired it.
She usually wore suits or maid outfits, never casual unless necessary, always seeming tirelessly dutiful. But today's freer look—white blouse and black skirt—made her happy grin alone feel like the date's goal achieved.
"I'll hold your hand as many times as you want."
"No, Master."
Her face reverted to icy normalcy, like that bright bloom was fleeting.
"It would make me spoiled. You must control women for your purposes. A woman who climbs without knowing her place only inconveniences you."
I chuckled silently and took her hand again. Yukiko fell quiet, gazing lovingly at our joined hands.