I'm Sorry...
I'm sorry...
I wasn't sure if she liked the name Han Seol-i. I was a bit surprised when she asked me to give her a new one. She must have had a name already—why ask me? But I could guess the reason. Maybe it was a name she hated remembering, or hated saying, or maybe she didn't have one at all. Or neither. Either way, I didn't want to refuse Seol-i's request.
I looked at her. She was fiddling with my phone, turning it this way and that like it was the most fascinating thing. When she asked if she could take a look, I'd handed it over.
"Having fun?"
Her tiny hands manipulating the screen were so cute I couldn't help but chuckle. She seemed totally absorbed—no answer came back. I hadn't really expected one anyway. Still, it left a bittersweet pang. I gave a wry smile.
"..."
I narrowed my eyes at her outfit. Filthy clothes and that deep-pulled hood. Why wear it like that? It was too extreme to blame on mere shyness. She'd pulled it so low she'd been treated like a suspicious person and ended up at the police station. Apparently, she'd wailed loud enough to shake the heavens right after we met, but I couldn't picture it. Her expressions were so subdued.
When I talked to her, she'd mostly just nod or tilt her head. Even if she spoke, her voice was so soft and her emotions so muted that I couldn't guess her thoughts. Every time I caught a flicker of feeling or a shift in her face, I'd feel this weird mix of accomplishment and joy, like I'd drawn her out.
Blank-faced—no, more like spaced out? She seemed uninterested in everything. Not outgoing at all, which was why even an introvert like me ended up talking a lot. Maybe it was just to hear her voice.
As I watched her play with the phone, someone knocked on the door. Wondering what it was, I got up and approached. A male colleague was calling me over.
"What's up?"
"They said to call you to discuss what to do with the kid."
"Me?"
I'd thought it was about time to talk things over, but why me specifically? I tilted my head, but he shrugged—he didn't know either. He'd passed on the message, so he left.
"What the...?"
Well, she'd called for me, so I had no choice.
......
"Pardon?"
What kind of bombshell was this? I'd thought something urgent when they summoned me, but no—they were asking if I could watch her for a bit. They assured me support money would come through, so not to worry, but it wasn't about the cash. For an awakener like me, it was pocket change anyway. What mattered was what Seol-i thought.
"Wait... can't we at least hear what she has to say before deciding?"
If I suddenly had to live with her, would she even like it? Sure, I knew it was the best option. I'd even thought living together wouldn't be bad. But that was my opinion. What if she said she didn't want to live with anyone and just wanted to go home? Was I supposed to force her?
"Just take care of her until processing's done."
"But..."
"Or should we send her back where she came from?"
I froze.
"Han Chae-rin. Get a grip. You're the one who said she might be getting abused."
She was right. I clenched my fist. Of course, nothing was certain. But Seol-i's story was too strange. A kid that young couldn't live alone, and she'd said herself she had no parents. So maybe abuse? But when she took off the hood, there were no physical signs. Mental abuse, then? I couldn't judge without hearing it from her, but her extreme withdrawal baffled me. Was "withdrawn" even the right word? Wrapping herself up like that—could it really just be shyness? It felt more like she hated anyone seeing her face.
"Understood."
Right now, letting her do what she wanted wasn't priority. I sighed heavily as I left the room. A sudden worry hit: what if she'd vanished again? She'd said she'd just stepped out for air earlier, but she clearly wasn't thrilled to be here. Heart pounding, I rushed back—but there she was, sprawled on the sofa, glued to the phone. She'd struggled with it before, but now she handled it like a pro. Gotten used to it already?
"..."
She'd been sitting primly earlier; now she was curled inward, facing away. Like a small animal avoiding me. It made me smile despite myself. Tempted to startle her, I held my breath and crept closer. Hiding my presence was easy for an awakener. I reached her back without a sound, but she didn't notice, still staring at the screen. Earlier she'd been searching about awakeners; now some video. I had no idea what. Awakeners again? If she was interested, that could be our in. I'd been in a guild once, a famous awakener—I could teach her. Imagining it, I reached out carefully...
The only way to snap her out of it.
"Boo!"
"Eek!"
Wait, I hadn't meant to scare her that much! She'd been peering at the video in wonder, but she dropped the phone and shrieked. I'd gone easy, just a little jump-scare, but this reaction? No way I'd expected that. How deep in was she?
Oh.
Then it hit me—my huge mistake. Startling a kid who might've suffered mental abuse was awful enough, but my playful urge could've triggered bad memories. It started as suspicion, but now I was sure.
"Sorry. I won't do it again."
"..."
At the very least, we couldn't send her back. I gently hugged the huddled, trembling Seol-i and murmured.
......
That was too close.
It'd been so long, I'd unconsciously pulled up YouTube for some anime. First anime in a year, and the algorithm kept feeding me more till I was lost in it—didn't even notice her approach. When did she get there? Anime had been my one joy through school and college, back when I was a total loner. A total otaku. I knew what happened if women caught me watching. But who sneaks up to scare you mid-anime? I yelped without thinking.
Embarrassed about the scream? Secondary. My real panic was if she'd seen what I was watching. But she just apologized, so probably not. Thank god. If the sound had been on, my life would've ended. Gotta be careful next time. First, stash the phone, delete search history and watch traces before handing it back.
I slipped the phone inside my hood.