Bundle of Bliss
…My body feels… weird… Deep down, I'd pinned big hopes on that girl.
Calling it hope after she'd pulled that shit on me makes me sound like a lunatic, but hear me out.
This kind of shady sabotage was a first for me, in my past life and this one combined.
Getting targeted like this—something worthless people never receive—was a brand-new experience in my life!
And it made me so happy.
Negative attention is still attention, and negative emotions are still emotions.
Above all, it made me feel like I finally mattered.
Sure, being fawned over by everyone is nice, but doesn't a truly great person deserve to have people tripping over themselves to take shots at her?
So as I lay down in bed, my heart raced with anticipation over what might happen next.
Would I wake up sick the next morning? Or start reeking of something foul? Oh, or maybe it was just straight-up poison, and I'd collapse again? I might even die… but whatever. The girl who'd stooped to stuffing herb bundles under my bed didn't seem bold enough for that.
And even if it was some ultra-deadly toxin by some wild chance, a Sword Master like me wouldn't go down easy.
I could just expel it by venting ether all over my body.
Sure, Lucia would freak out, Dorothea would tremble, and Cecilia would sigh… but hey, survival's what counts.
With all those safeguards, I lay there with sparkling eyes, buzzing with excitement over what was coming.
…
But nothing happened.
Wondering if the placement was off, I slyly pulled out the bundle from under the bed.
Maybe it'd kick in now.
Did it stink? No. Did it feel harmful just sniffing it? No. Anything ominous? Nope.
What the hell? I buried my nose in the bundle and sniffed hard.
That's when the change hit.
Suddenly, out of nowhere.
My mood skyrocketed.
"Wha… huh?"
Stunned by the twist for just a moment, I buried my nose in it again, like I was possessed.
Sure enough, euphoria bubbled up, and my body went limp.
"Ah, la."
It felt like getting drunk, but the world wasn't spinning.
Instead, everything felt distant. I was me, but not me—like I was floating outside myself.
What is this?
It just felt good. Bouncy, floaty bliss. Like snorting crystallized happiness.
The pleasure was so intense it made me feel giddy, stupidly high—wait, no, I really was getting dumber.
My already mediocre intellect was visibly degrading.
Otherwise, why would I see lambs frolicking in midair? Wait, geese? Geese shaped like lambs? Lamb-geese?
Cute little chimeric critters gleaming as they danced through the air.
Damn, saying it like that makes me sound like a druggie. Isn't this actually dangerous?
Was that girl scheming to turn me into an addict?! Some horrifying plot?!
The tiny voice of reason in the attic of my mind stomped its feet, screaming to snap out of it.
Huh? Oh, right. Snap out. Gotta snap out.
Just one more hit.
"Heh, hehit, hic, het."
I rubbed the bundle all over myself, writhing in ecstasy.
My muscles slackened and tensed in waves, twisting my body every which way.
"Uh, eh, huuuh, hek, het? Hic?"
I couldn't tell if what was drooling down my face was tears or saliva.
Whatever. Rub rub rub.
Like it was a loofah, I scrubbed every inch of my body with it.
Floating, soaring high. The ceiling split into one, then two.
And then, at last.
"Haaah… kuhlok, cough cough!"
I hit peak bliss, a true trance.
I'd inhaled too deep and sneezed my brains out, but even that didn't annoy me.
Everything was just hilariously wonderful.
I could die alone in this corner of the room, miserable and pathetic, and it probably wouldn't feel lonely.
Hell, I might even enjoy my own doom.
…But even that ecstasy faded eventually.
Whether the effect wore off or the herbs lost potency, the joy filling my nose vanished without a trace.
All that remained was my body, aching from all the thrashing, and sweat-soaked underwear.
Ah.
Washing this'll be a pain. Not that I'd do it—Einshel would handle it.
"…Huuuuh."
Exhaustion rushed in to fill the void.
After twisting like that solo for what felt like hours, of course I was wiped.
Closing my eyes now would feel perfect for sleep.
Sweet dreams, me. Don't die in your sleep.
Mumbling my usual pre-bed mantra, I plunged into deep slumber.
The next morning.
"Mm…?"
Something felt a little off.
Bad? Nah. If anything, it was good. My mood was great.
That bliss bundle? Sniffing it now did zilch.
I just felt endlessly happy, start to finish.
Body, mind, brain—all soft and squishy.
Not weak, exactly, but craving something plush to sink into, all fluffy and cozy.
Sick? Nah. The usual aches were there.
Twinges here and there, a bit chilly.
Or… warm? Kinda warm somewhere. My lower belly, especially. Tickly and toasty. Weird. Never felt this before.
If I had to describe it: fluffy. Fluffel-floofy? Puffy-mushy?
"Miss…? Did something good happen?"
Einshel eyed my demeanor with confusion.
"Mmm. Maybe? Dunno. Heh."
For some reason, today I felt like I could be nice to anyone.
Einshel looked uneasy at my vibe but dutifully helped me dress.
Her touch, usually nothing, felt oddly ticklish now.
Especially near the base of my tail—I flinched like crazy.
She fussed that I might have a cold, but I brushed it off.
"Nothin' much… See ya later!"
I waved casually and headed to class, where Lucia sat in her usual spot, catching my eye.
She glanced over, then dove back into her thing—only to double-take.
"…What? Why're you grinning like an idiot all sudden?"
Oh, am I smiling? Yup. Big smile.
Heh.
Dunno.
Just feel like it.
"Feelin' good?"
"…Tch, that shopping trip make you this happy? Ugh, over clothes… Hmph, just you wait! I'll make your legs give out for real next time."
I was just happy for no reason, but she thought it was the shopping.
Wrong answer.
Wrong, so maybe punish her?
With a hug.
Something I'd never consider normally felt like the best idea ever.
I sidled up to Lucia and leaned right into her without hesitation.
"Eek?! H-Hey! What the hell?!"
Lucia panicked at my sudden tackle but didn't shove me off.
Ah.
Nice.
Her body heat. It satisfied me to my core, and I nuzzled my cheek against her shoulder, eyes half-closed.
"Hey! What're you doing?! Gross this early!"
Lucia yanked my arms off in genuine horror.
"Mmm… 'Cause you're warm, Lucia?"
"What kinda nonsense is that?! You eat something bad?!"
Hmm.
Less "ate" and more "sniffed"?
That bliss bundle was all I could think of.
"Just a little longer?"
"No!"
"Hiiing…"
"What 'hing' even is that…"
Lucia nudged me back to my seat.
Hmm. Does she hate me?
Nah, not her style, but…
Might be nice.
Instead of sitting, I approached Ern, who was staring from the front row.
"Ern."
"…Yeah?"
"Ern."
"…"
"Ern."
"…What?"
He clearly didn't want to talk, dodging my gaze outright.
Do I really suck that much?
Maybe the bundle's true power was making everyone hate me…?!
But no malice poured off him.
To test, I snatched his hand.
He jolted but politely asked me to let go.
"Don't wanna~."
"It's awkward, okay? Ilisha, later—I'll do it later!"
Watching this guy—who acted all cool everywhere else—flop helplessly before me was pure joy.
Now Lucia, Reinhardt, even Ern stared at me like I was nuts.
Yeah, yeah. Fair enough.
I was acting weird.
Just too happy to care.
All I felt toward Ilisha von Airbalt was hate.
She'd saved me, sure.
True.
But that didn't mean I had to like her.
Airbalt.
Anyone with northern blood would step up in that situation, right?
So it wasn't special.
Not at all.
Not even a little.
I told myself that over and over, but people kept looking at her.
Lady Lucia.
The Saintess.
Even His Highness the Crown Prince.
All of them.
Staring only at her.
I hated it.
So I just wanted her to suffer a little. Get embarrassed.
Not kill her—no way. I didn't hate her that much, and I lacked the guts.
Just trip her up, make her squirm a bit.
So everyone would shrug, say "no big deal," and turn away.
That was all.
So I chucked the herb bundle under her bed.
Herbs, my ass—it was a hallucinogen for certain beastkin.
And Ilisha was exactly that kind.
Let her freak out, make a fool of herself, get humiliated—that was the plan.
…Or so I thought.
But things veered way off course.
Her behavior was blatantly rude to anyone watching, yet no one snapped at her.
This wasn't right.
That wasn't what the bundle was for.
I fidgeted inwardly, watching her antics from the back row.
Then she turned to me, flashed a wicked smile, and locked eyes.
Mouthing the words:
Thank you.
Thanks?
For what?
The herb bundle?
The realization chilled me to the bone.
No way.
Did she know all along?
My mouth went dry.
Was I…
Just her plaything?
Even my malice, nothing but a toy to her?
The thought made my skin crawl.
Pure, incomprehensible horror.