The Toned-Down Letter Home

Well, I suppose I should give a status report, right? By the time my arm had fully healed, it was already the weekend.

In the meantime, I'd gotten a quick lesson in everyday magic from Dorothea and Lucia, and let Lucia drag me around to various dessert shops.

It was fun, sure, but nothing to get excited about.

You need to push your body to draw eyes, and I hadn't been able to do that, so it was only natural.

As I gazed out the window to chase away the last of my morning drowsiness, Einshel appeared.

She was carrying a tray laden with a teacup, assorted snacks, and my medicines.

"Milady, did you cough last night?"

"Yeees, yaaawn... I just woke up. Did you sleep well, Einshel?"

"It was a bit warm, but nothing serious. And you, milady? Did you rest comfortably?"

Typical northerner—she found even this mild weather hot.

"Yeees, I'm always cold, so I slept nice and warm, just like always."

Me? Well, I'm cold no matter where I go. I'd probably shiver even on a sun-baked southern beach.

That's just my constitution.

"...I'm glad you're adjusting so well."

I sipped the tea from the tray she offered, then dumped the flavorless medicines into my mouth and swallowed them down.

The tea was quite robust, but the medicines' bitter, spicy assault overpowered it, wrinkling my face despite myself.

Einshel watched me force down the tasteless stuff with a look of pity.

Maybe she didn't want to stare forever, because she made a suggestion.

"...Milady. Since this is your first weekend at the Imperial Academy, how about sending a letter home? The Duchess must be worried."

I was mid-bite on a butter cookie loaded with sugar, so I couldn't even let out an "ah," but I'd completely forgotten—guilt hit me hard.

"You're right. I promised to write often. Could you grab some stationery? I forgot where I put it."

"Yes, please wait a moment."

While Einshel went to fetch the stationery, I pondered how to even write a letter.

It's not like I'd ever done this before.

I'd never even left home, so letters were something I received, not sent.

As I drummed my fingers, racking my brain for content, Einshel returned with paper and a quill.

Even after taking them, I hesitated, and she timidly made a request.

"...Milady. Please, keep it from being too stimulating... if you would. With everything that's happened lately, if the Duchess hears..."

She trailed off, gazing at me with eyes full of worry.

What do you take me for?

I pouted a bit, then scribbled the first line on the paper.

"To Father and Mother, greetings..."

Maybe she liked the opening, because Einshel smiled faintly and murmured from the side, please, just keep it like that.

Hmm...

That reaction made me want to tease her. Should I mess with her a little?

Decision made, the next lines flowed easily.

"...However, life here isn't always serene. I've vomited blood when my health faltered, and I've dueled to defend the family honor. But I'm fine now, so no need to worry."

I read the line aloud for Einshel's benefit.

Then I looked at her—she had her eyes closed, hand on her forehead.

"...Milady?"

"Yes?"

I replied innocently, as if I had no idea what was wrong, and her expression ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠shifted in the most amusing way.

Her face screamed, 'Where do I even start fixing this?' It was so obvious, I felt proud of myself.

"...I begged you to keep it non-stimulating. That's not just a little... no, it's way too much!"

"It's the truth."

I shrugged, and Einshel couldn't hold back her impatience—she clenched her pot-like fist and stomped her feet.

"Truth or not, that doesn't make it okay! The Duchess will collapse! It's not a status report—it's a declaration of war!"

She peered into my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠letter in horror, then stomped around with a miserable face.

"That's why I added that I'm safe at the end."

"No, the part before ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that is the problem!"

Sorry, Einshel, but her reactions made it too hard to stop.

"Then I should add this too."

"Add wha—"

Before she could stagger from dizziness, I quickly scribbled the next line.

"Oh, and I encountered some Demon Worshippers. Fortunately, with help from a commoner classmate, we defeated them and protected the Academy's peace."

"Miladyyyyyyyy!!!!!"

This time it was a real scream laced with tears.

She snatched the paper from my lap, pressed her knuckles to her eyes, and scolded me sternly.

"This won't do. Absolutely not!"

"I just wrote the facts plainly."

I said it like I was clueless, and Einshel pounded her chest in frustration, her lips trembling.

"Facts don't make everything okay!"

"Those stories will reach home one way or another. Isn't it better if I tell them myself first?"

"That doesn't mean you spell out vomiting blood, collapsing, or duels! The Duchess will truly faint!"

Hmm. She had a point.

She was right about everything, really.

If I didn't want to see Mother collapse, I should tone it down.

But teasing Einshel was so much fun.

"...Please rewrite it. I beg you."

"Eeeh? Already?"

"Please, milady. The Duchess entrusted me... to watch over you and make sure you stay healthy..."

Aha. So that's why she was so desperate. Afraid of getting fired, maybe.

I let out a small sigh of defeat ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and pulled out fresh paper.

"Fine... I'll write it the way you want. A bit toned down."

"Not a bit—a lot. And add something about making friends."

"Friends? I did, but do I need to include that...?"

"Yes! That's important! Start with how you're adapting well to the new environment! Not what incidents happened!"

Hmm.

Is it?

With some doubt, I wrote the second version.

"...Thanks to my friends, even when I collapsed from poor health, I got great help."

As I wrote, Einshel's face soured again.

"Milady..."

"What? I toned it down this time, right?"

"You don't need to specify collapsing..."

"It's bragging about my friends."

"You don't need to mention the collapse to brag about friends..."

Ahaha.

Sorry, Einshel.

You're too fun to poke.

I crammed all the chaos into the second letter too, pretending it was mild, and she finally confiscated that one as well.

"Hing."

"What's 'hing' supposed to mean, milady."

Even mild-mannered Einshel was getting sharp-tongued now.

Any more and she'd really get mad.

The third letter followed her advice and censorship to the letter.

"Isn't this too bland?"

"It needs to be bland!"

"It feels like I'm hiding what happened."

"Better than the Duchess collapsing... Even a hint of trouble will worry her enough..."

...

"......Milady."

"Yes?"

"Why did you write about the Demon Worshippers?"

"It was memorable?"

"I get that, but why so plainly?! 'Teamed up alone with a commoner and overcame it safely'—that's not a picnic report!"

Picnic.

Never been on one, but yeah, it did sound that light.

I laughed and revised it as she asked.

"I can't say life here is always calm and smooth, but I see it as part of the learning. Better?"

The more I followed her advice, the more the draft lost its original shape.

I muttered at the finished final draft.

"It's really toned down now."

"It has to be."

"Kinda boring, though."

"Boring is normal, milady."

"Hmm, still feels too dull, doesn't it?"

"Milady, really..."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

I grinned brightly, and Einshel could only sigh without even saying no.

The letter would soon head home.

Mother and Father would wear complicated expressions reading it.

A bit worried, a bit relieved, a bit exasperated.

Too bad I couldn't see it in person, but what can you do? You can't capture every worldly pleasure with your own eyes.

Still.

This had been a pretty decent way to kill time.

Alright, time to get back to some sword practice.

Weekend or not, self-training's always an option.

Gotta go see what my disciple has accomplished.