Realism
"Hey!"
I put some force into my trembling arms. I managed to seize the chance and pull free, but the sensation of being rubbed against my face still lingered.
What thoroughly unsettled me right now was that unpleasant feeling. Since it wasn't something I normally experienced, it felt unfamiliar, and because it was a sensation I rarely got to feel, it clung to me thickly and refused to let go.
"You're not going to keep that up the whole time we're renting the room, are you?"
"Even so, suddenly rubbing your face against me?"
"...Is it really something to be that disgusted by?"
I rubbed at my face, trying to cover the sensation with something else, when he suddenly spat out a line that made me surge with irritation.
My lips worked for a moment before I finally forced out the words that had risen all the way to my throat.
"Think about it. Could you lick your own body or something?"
"I could."
"No—your crotch!"
I pointed between my legs with a bent finger.
Song Haneul, on the other hand, just stared straight at my body. It was covered by the robe, but since I wasn't wearing any underwear, that gaze somehow felt completely bare and exposed.
Like it was piercing straight through me. A gaze shouldn't have that kind of power, but still.
"So I just have to lick it?"
"...No."
"Then why bring it up?"
"No, I just meant—isn't that actually weird? Or is it just me?"
His energy was so different that I instinctively tucked my tail. The image of Song Haneul sticking his tongue out and going for my crotch made me flinch and shudder for a second.
"Song Hamin."
"What."
"So you're not going to do it? After we went and rented a whole room?"
"I will, I will, but..."
I said I would, and I knew we couldn't go back unless I did this, yet I kept hesitating. Maybe it was the lingering sensation of him rubbing against my face, but a little revulsion was rising again, making me pull my head back.
Bringing my mouth to it like this just wasn't easy.
A short-term rental was usually four hours. It seemed long enough, but if you spent it hesitating and putting things off, it would slip right by.
The thought of just killing time without doing anything made my vision swim.
"I will...!"
"...Okay, okay. Who said anything?"
Song Haneul flinched at my sharp tone.
I covered my mouth and chin with my hand and scratched lightly. Could I even endure this? Could I really go all the way? Those worries spun around in my head until my expression crumpled. I just couldn't picture it clearly.
"I'll do it..."
After a long stretch of hesitation, I set the limp cock in front of me again.
The way my lips trembled was an instinctive revulsion I couldn't help.
This was the kind of thing you really couldn't do anything about.
Still, if I just suppressed it and got through it, I could get my body back—so that was all I could hope for.
"But... doesn't this feel a little unfair?"
"What does?"
"I'm the one getting my body back, so why do I have to act this pathetic...?"
The corner of my mouth twitched. He looked up at me with an expression that said he had no idea what I was talking about.
Then Song Haneul pouted.
"Then when we switch back, want me to do it for you too?"
I'd expected him to just say "then don't" or "suit yourself," but that wasn't it at all.
More than that, the idea of receiving that from Song Haneul gave me a slight chill.
It wasn't so much squeamishness as a sense of wrongness climbing my spine.
The first time I thrust in, the times I rolled my hips, the times I woke up to him rubbing against my chest—
I'd felt every kind of sensation. Feelings that were hard to put into words, ones you couldn't recreate unless you did the same act, still lingered in my memory.
I was going first, but he was offering to do it back?
Would it even feel good to have it done with a mouth?
Thinking that I could get back what I was about to do somehow made the revulsion ease a little...
I had to do it anyway.
"F-fine. You're doing it."
"You little shit."
The look on his face that said see, I knew you couldn't refuse was a little annoying.
It felt like I'd compromised at this level and still come out a bit behind.
How come Song Haneul had no revulsion at all?
"Ah, uh..."
I worked my mouth open. My tongue stuck out stiffly through lips that wouldn't part properly.
I'd never stuck my tongue out like this even when eating, but the desire not to let it touch my mouth and the rational need to do this with my mouth collided, leaving me in an awkward shape.
The tongue trying to approach the limp cock and the head trying to pull away fought each other, making me tremble—like an invisible tug-of-war.
"Ah, what are you doing...?"
"Uh, eh..."
"Oh."
After I'd dragged it out long enough to bore him, Song Haneul's voice brightened with interest.
From the moment of contact it gradually stiffened, rising again. The fact that the cock now standing straight was pointing right at me made me let out a small sound.
I'd seen it now and then in ordinary life and knew what it looked like, but facing it head-on like this gave it a whole different feel.
Not that I needed this kind of novel impression.
"Ah, uugh..."
I made a suffering noise and squeezed my eyes shut.
I thought of it as an unpleasant, hot sensation, but now that I'd come this far there was no backing out. It was way better than putting it in my ass, and managing that would be a hassle, and I knew I couldn't handle the aftermath.
I piled on every reason and excuse I could think of and somehow stretched my tongue out.
I traced the smooth-seeming surface and the hot sensation. Goosebumps raced down my spine and my shoulders hunched—it felt that bad.
I wanted to hypnotize myself into thinking I was licking a piece of candy, but I'd never eaten a candy that felt like this, so immersion was hard.
"Try putting it in your mouth."
"How...?"
Even just lapping with my tongue felt like it was going to give me a cramp, so I just closed my eyes and tried it. Holding it in my mouth and checking Song Haneul's reaction, I saw his face full of laughter. He seemed satisfied, at least.
"Don't use your teeth."
"Ah, aheh..."
A thickness that felt like it would split my jaw was filling the inside. Trying to speak with it packed full made everything spill out.
So this was what it felt like when what you wanted to say and what came out of your mouth didn't match.
Just holding still with it in my mouth, I seemed to be getting used to it a little.
The problem was that I couldn't close my mouth, so drool kept dripping. Even when I tried to swallow, the angle and everything else just wouldn't cooperate. Every time my Adam's apple bobbed, the thing filling the inside was so bothersome it was hard.
"You're not moving?"
"...Wha' am I s'posed t' do?"
"What are you saying."
"Pff—how am I supposed to move... Ah, I thought my jaw was going to come off."
I'd been holding my mouth open too wide; my jaw joint felt like it was clicking. Maybe that was why my eyes were starting to water a little.
I grabbed my jaw and desperately worked it so it wouldn't cramp.
"From what I've seen, they just go like this and this with their throat...?"
Song Haneul's hand gestures left me speechless.
"Hold on... is all your common sense based on porn?"
"What, did I see something weird? People do it there, so why couldn't you? It's not like I was watching cartoons."
And in the middle of it he was arguing about realism.
"Sure, it's possible, but do you really think you'll be able to do it exactly like people who do that for a living? If that hits your uvula you'll throw up—throw up. Haven't you ever hit your uvula when you brush your teeth?"
I pointed at my throat, genuinely aggrieved.
"Then how do they do it?"
"That's why the people who do it for a living train by doing all kinds of crazy stuff..."
"...So can you do that for me?"
"You think that's easy?"
"If you do it for me, I'll do it for you."
Getting it done sounded nice. But what wasn't possible just wasn't possible.
I didn't particularly want to throw up everything I'd eaten yesterday and today right now.
I gave Song Haneul a half-lidded look that made my refusal clear.
"This is my limit for now."
"You haven't even practiced."
"Practice with what."
"...A cucumber?"
"Ah, fuck off."
"If you hate everything, then what the hell is even possible..."
I flinched and checked his expression for no good reason.
I didn't know why I had to be reading the room over this, but it still seemed better than Song Haneul, who was unemployed, going outside and acting however he wanted—so I came up with an alternative.
"My chest...?"
"Oh, right, that was an option."
"It's your chest."
"It's yours."
"...What?"
Did I mishear?
"It's yours right now, so why are you calling it mine?"
"If you say so."
That startled me—why phrase it like that?
"Then do it with your chest and your mouth at the same time. I'll accept that. You just don't have to use your throat."
"Wow, the ideas just keep coming. Is the toilet paper roll that long?"
"Shut up. Just bare your chest. I want to come already."
Song Haneul grabbed my robe like he was in a hurry.
The loosened robe lost its hold and slid limply downward. My chest was so large it didn't splay open the way Song Haneul's would have.
Still, since I was doing this anyway, I pushed it out of the way so I could move more easily.
I left my bare chest sitting there and cupped it from below with both hands.
Song Haneul also shifted his posture back a little. Thinking that this might finally resolve the awkwardness of my body, I pressed myself closer.
I lifted the breasts that would have sagged if left alone and set them on top. The sensation of something caught between them felt foreign, like a foreign object, and it was strange.
I held them from both sides and shook them up and down.
Was this how Song Haneul had felt when he did it for me? I'd always thought breasts didn't really register much sensation, but having something sandwiched in the middle made the impression completely different.
Even with these large breasts, the head of the cock still poked out above, not fully covered.
I pushed my breasts with my hands to rub while flicking my tongue at the same time.
Every so often I lifted my head for a quick glance and saw him half-reclined, grinning.
For some reason it put me in a bad mood. The smile felt a little sly, maybe.
"Satisfied?"
"It feels really good."
"Hurry up and come."
"If you do it a little better I think I will."
At Song Haneul's words I sped up for no real reason.
Just because I wanted to finish quickly.