Below
I didn’t particularly want to believe it, but Song Haneul said he knew the conditions.
I had no idea what they could be, so all I could do was get pushed around.
When he was Song Haneul he acted more or less the same, but the moment he became “Song Hamin,” something shifted in ways I couldn’t pin down. Being dragged along by behavior that was practically violence didn’t exactly leave me comfortable.
Of course I’d tried it myself by now, so I wasn’t exactly standing on moral high ground—but I had zero intention of getting fucked every single day whenever he felt like it. At the very least I wanted us back in our original bodies, in a situation I could actually feel safe about.
It wasn’t as if there were no hints at all.
—Something I would never do to Song Haneul.
It was vague rather than decisive, but I couldn’t just sit on my hands either. Mom or Dad could finish work and come home any day now; if our bodies were still like this when that happened, it would be genuinely dangerous. On the days they stayed home for long stretches, the house itself would turn into an uncomfortable prison.
The longer Song Haneul spent as a man, the bolder his actions became. That rough, nakedly direct attitude was like a horse that had slipped its reins. People say we’re slaves to our hormones, and watching him change that much was impossible not to find unsettling.
What about me? Had I changed somehow without realizing it?
I couldn’t catch my own shifts that quickly, so I just glanced down at my body. Nothing about me felt different. Maybe you simply don’t notice your own changes very well.
“Were you supposed to be born a guy from the start…?”
Watching Song Haneul greet an ordinary day made me the one who felt thrown off. A month should have been enough to adapt somewhat, but the completely at-ease expression on his face left me speechless.
“Then were you supposed to be a girl?”
“…Bullshit.”
I was so floored I couldn’t even form words. He hadn’t always been like this. The protest rose all the way to my throat and then sank again. I kept a straight face, but that kind of look didn’t seem to land any real blow on Song Haneul. Normally if I showed even a little displeasure he’d take the hint and put some distance between us; now he just clung closer, as if he no longer needed to bother.
“Is the game really that fun? You’ve been playing nonstop since the second you got back.”
“It’s fun, but only if you’ve got the skill for it.”
I wasn’t great, but I wasn’t terrible either. Or maybe, with so many good players around these days, I should just call myself bad.
“Maybe I should try too…”
“You said you scrapped the portfolio you were using before. If you have to start a new one, you’ve got nothing left right now, do you? Work on that.”
“…Tch.”
I had no idea what he was so disappointed about. A guy who didn’t even go to school ought to be throwing himself into something like that.
I sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the TV screen, frowning as I thought of Song Haneul—my body, yet one I couldn’t take back simply because I didn’t hold the initiative.
“Hey, Song Haneul.”
“Yeah, what.”
I glanced at him. He looked like he might get up but never quite did, leaning comfortably against the sofa back. The indifferent way he answered left me briefly speechless.
“Last month you were throwing a fit about getting your body back, weren’t you? If you know the method, just take it.”
Instead of answering, Song Haneul only shot me a sidelong look. He was the type to clam up the moment something got awkward to talk about—a thoroughly sly bastard. Since he clearly wasn’t going to say a word, I shut my mouth too.
If I’d known it would turn out like this, I should have established the hierarchy the moment our bodies switched back. Being forced to get pushed around without even knowing the conditions was nothing but frustrating.
Everyone has their own life they’ve lived so far, so a body swap can be fatal—or so the saying goes. For me, though, it hadn’t been that big a problem.
I’d blocked every guy who tried to get clingy, and because of that I’d fallen out with a classmate in a weird way and simply stopped contacting them. They were definitely badmouthing me behind my back anyway; I had no intention of going around acting like a clown. Even if they smiled to my face they’d be trash-talking me inside, so there was no reason to grin like an idiot. I wasn’t that good-natured a person.
One way or another, my little-over-a-year of college life had been garbage. Thinking of it as the natural result of forcing my head into a major I didn’t even understand made me feel oddly at peace.
“Ugh, this is uncomfortable. Ah.”
Watching Song Hamin grumble beside me made a smile rise on its own. From the moment I’d said I knew the conditions, this situation was basically already mine; the way she just fretted and watched my mood without even complaining was obvious. Spotting that was simpler than catching the quiet cattiness girls usually circulate among themselves.
“If it’s uncomfortable, take it off.”
“…I’m fine.”
“You said it was uncomfortable.”
“I meant my body feels weird.”
The way she subtly turned away felt like a protest to give the body back. I hesitated for a moment. Doing that might let the conditions slip, so I held off. There were also things that only worked while I was “Song Hamin.”
“A month should be enough to get used to it. Or should we go buy some winter clothes?”
“…I can just wear what’s at home.”
“No, it’s nice to buy one new thing every season.”
“What about the ones you already bought?”
“I wear those too, but you need new clothes to feel good, you know?”
A guy who didn’t even know how to dress himself. He never put any effort into it as a man; I wasn’t about to expect him to start now that he was a woman. And dressing up as a woman was way harder than as a man, so I understood why she wouldn’t know where to begin and felt stuck.
“Just buy whatever you want.”
“Oh, should I? Then maybe I’ll look up some stores…”
I tapped at my phone, scrolling through brands one by one. New arrivals, current trends—I picked out pretty pieces that wouldn’t overlap with what we already had. Looking wasn’t enough. If the chest area puffed out weirdly when she tried them on, they wouldn’t suit her, so we’d have to go try things in person.
“Can’t you just switch our bodies back?”
“No.”
After a long stretch of hesitation, Song Hamin asked straight out. She must have thought it over for quite a while, but my answer was just as direct. Rejected so simply, Song Hamin’s eyes went round as if she hadn’t expected it.
“Why?”
“Because I like it this way.”
Song Hamin kept her distance from me as if she didn’t feel much of anything in particular. If I hadn’t forced myself on her while drunk, none of this would probably have happened. Besides, begging was too pathetic. It even felt like going to someone and pleading. When she was drunk she might drop pride and face entirely, but asking her to do the same sober would make her hesitate. No—she’d definitely hold back.
“What’s so good about it.”
She grumbled but couldn’t push any harder. I closed my mouth, thinking it might be time to bring out what I’d been considering. When I stared straight at Song Hamin, she made a small sound as if crushed under the gaze.
“What, what…?”
Sweat beaded on her skin as she checked my condition with urgent eyes.
“If you drink and do it for me, I could switch them back.”
“How much are you planning to do.”
Song Hamin recoiled a step with pure disgust. With no good memories of this kind of thing, maybe that was only natural. Asking for this and that every day already felt like I was working her too hard. And since I had no idea what would happen if I actually switched us, I grew a little cautious. From the outside it would just look like “Song Hamin” fucking “Song Haneul,” so maybe it didn’t matter much.
“Just… moderately?”
I muddled the answer, saying I wasn’t sure. She looked at me with suspicious eyes, half believing, half not. It would be nice if it really held, but until then she had no choice but to doubt.
“Really?”
“But why are you in such a rush to switch back? You’ve still got two months until you re-enroll.”
“I need them switched. I want to game a bit, go out drinking more often. Don’t I get hobbies?”
“You can do that in that body.”
“I’m not like you with no friends.”
She must have remembered something I’d said before; Song Hamin flared up and needled me. For a second I nearly flared back, but I managed to settle myself calmly. If I’d still been the real Song Haneul, a line like that would have sent my temper through the roof—but right now, for some reason, I could take it in stride. At the same time, Song Hamin saying something like that even looked laughable.
Because I could overpower her with strength? Or because I alone knew the conditions and held the initiative? Either way was fine.
“That so?”
“Yeah, was I wrong?”
“Nah. Whatever. Then live like that forever.”
“…….”
Her expression hardened all at once, as if things hadn’t gone the way she’d planned. Had she been hoping I’d do something in a fit of anger? I wasn’t going to fold that easily. I wasn’t an idiot.
“You can just drink, right? Then you’ll switch us?”
“No?”
“Huh? You just said if I drink and do it you’d switch.”
The look on Song Hamin’s face—like a meerkat that had just been scammed—made me laugh. She was short now, with nothing but big breasts; the rest of her frame wasn’t that large, and watching her yap away was almost cute. Was this what Song Hamin saw when she looked at Song Haneul? I got plenty of reaction, so how had Song Hamin managed to show none at all? Thinking about how I’d gotten hard just from hearing her moan, it wasn’t like there was nothing there.
“You just said some fucked-up shit.”
“No, I just meant I have a lot of places I need to go too…!”
She tried to make excuses somehow, but she’d already stepped on my nerves. Too late, Song Hamin clenched her fists tight and chewed her lip. After a long stretch of fidgeting she finally offered something through trembling lips.
“Twice. Do it twice and give it back. Deal? Or… I’ll do it for you when I’m a guy too? I can at least manage that much…!!”
Had she thought that because I’d cooed and clung while drunk, I’d want to do it even in a woman’s body? Well, it wasn’t like I hated the idea. Still felt a little short, though.
“Use your mouth.”
Something stimulating from a video I’d watched before floated up. It was time to try out, at least once, something I’d been curious about.
“Uh…?”
Song Hamin had thrown out the offer with everything she had, only for the reply to drain the color from her face. Watching that pale expression made saliva pool in my mouth. Down below.