Why Are You Looking at Me
How you look at a person can completely transform their image.
And rendering what you see exactly as it is — that's another matter entirely.
I'd rated myself as fine enough and left it at that. That was why I stuck with such an ordinary, unremarkable look.
I looked decent enough without dressing up any further.
But Song Haneul apparently didn't see it that way. He kept rummaging through everything.
As if determined to conquer every piece of clothing in the store, his hands moved without a shred of hesitation, his eyes checking each item so nothing could slip past. Whenever something caught his fancy, he'd hold it up against my body and tilt his head.
"Tsk."
"What."
Then our eyes met through the mirror, and he clicked his tongue.
The sudden hostility left me speechless.
"I told you to wear what I tell you to wear. What's with the tracksuits? Tracksuits. If I'm going to dress you up, you should dress me up too."
"…All your clothes are weird."
Women's clothes had way too much unnecessary exposure.
They called the stuff underneath underwear, meant to cover things up — but my heart still couldn't handle putting any of it on.
Just short pants? That much I could understand.
But short skirts? I didn't get those at all. Skirts themselves already felt alien on me.
I wasn't fond of tops with heavy exposure either.
If he'd just handed me men's clothes, I could've worn them comfortably. But that wasn't an option either, which made the whole thing a pain.
"Hmph. What's weird about them. Fine."
He quickly narrowed it down to a few pieces and checked the prices.
Five items at sixty or seventy thousand won apiece. He looked them over, then smiled.
"This should be enough. You've got decent pants at home, so four tops to one bottom. Alternating them should work out perfectly."
"Not bad."
Apparently mindful of autumn, he'd picked out things that actually looked pretty decent on me.
"That's because you only ever wear plain, safe stuff. Look. Catch a little autumn fever for once."
"Fine. Just buy them already."
"Card."
"Here."
"Thanks. It's all for your body, you know."
"I said I know."
It stung, but there was no helping it.
I told myself to think of it as an investment in me.
Still, watching over three hundred thousand won vanish in an instant hurt.
If I thought of it as money I would've blown on booze and the PC Bang anyway, maybe it was fine.
"Hey. Look at that."
"What?"
"Adult Toy Shop."
At the tip of Song Haneul's finger stood a red building.
What they sold was already on full display outside, so looking away wasn't even an option.
"…So?"
"Should we grab something?"
"What are you planning to buy."
Gel, maybe. That much seemed reasonable.
"You know. That thing guys use when they jerk off. An onahole…?"
"Just use your hand. Why buy something like that. If you're getting it, use your own money."
"Oki."
"You're actually buying it?"
"Gonna get gel too. We burned through too much last time and ran out."
Really?
I was speechless, but since he said he'd pay with his own money, I had no reason to stop him.
We had no idea how long we'd be stuck in each other's bodies. If there were… difficulties, finding a way to deal with them was probably the smart move. Better than letting desire pile up until you drank yourself stupid and did something worse.
"But you've never even done it alone in your own body, have you."
"So what?"
"'So what?' is not the answer. I'm saying, is it okay for someone like you to start learning with something like that. Your senses must already be a mess."
"It'll be better than using a hand, at least."
If it had to be done anyway, maybe there was no choice.
Yeah. If it was inevitable, finishing it quickly might be better.
Whether starting by buying equipment was the right call, I had no idea.
The aftereffects would be for each of us to deal with on our own, I supposed.
"Welcome. If there's anything you're looking for, please let me know."
Stepping inside the shop felt somehow awkward.
I'd felt a little weird buying gel before too, but walking in with my sibling made me twice as self-conscious.
The employee who'd just offered to help was hovering nearby, clearly watching to see what Haneul or I would pick up. He radiated an aura that said the second we grabbed something, he'd launch straight into a product pitch.
Despite the crushing pressure, Haneul casually shoved the shopping bag at me like it was nothing.
I ended up clutching it without thinking and could only stare.
"What gel would you recommend?"
"Silicone-based ones don't absorb into the skin, so you can use them for longer periods, and over here the oil-based line is better suited for more advanced experiences down the road…"
The explanation rolled on without pause. How to use it, how to wash it afterward — all of it.
I found myself listening despite myself. Once we switched back, these were things I'd need to know.
"Then I'll take a water-based one."
"Yes. In that case, I'd recommend this."
The employee brought over a basket and placed the gel in Haneul's hand.
"We have an excellent product that just came in. Would you like to hear about it?"
"What is it?"
"We have these 0.01 condoms that use a special material so tough and durable they won't tear even if you pull hard. The gentleman will feel almost like he's wearing nothing at all, and since he can feel that much satisfaction, the lady can feel it directly against her skin as well — so I highly recommend them."
Why are you looking at me while you say that.
The employee's gaze was so uncomfortable I whipped my eyes away.
"That sounds fine. And is this all you have for onaholes?"
"If you go upstairs to the second floor, they're displayed along with the women's products. Shall we head up?"
"Uh, sure."
Haneul climbed the stairs without the slightest sign of discomfort around the employee.
Regular adult products — onaholes, condoms, gel — were all on the first floor, so there'd never been a reason to go up. This was the first time, and the sight was pretty shocking.
Holy shit. The words nearly tumbled out of my mouth at how blatant the space was.
Cosplay outfits hung wrapped in plastic. Dildos and vibrators stood on full, shameless display. Looking at the shelves turned into hedgehogs of toys made me flinch.
And then there were the products specialized for the rear end.
The appalling scenery made my steps heavy.
Haneul looked at it all with curious eyes.
"Hey, look at this."
"What."
"Santa costumes, swimsuits — there's so much stuff. This is insane."
"…Wow."
At my dry exclamation, Haneul quickly put it down.
Then he spun around, and I couldn't help it.
Reacting to animal ears and a tail set was a bit… awkward. Whatever it was, I figured it was something siblings shouldn't be doing together.
If he didn't want to put it on me, that meant he'd wear it himself once we switched back — and either way was a problem. Me wearing it, or seeing Haneul wearing it. Both made my skin crawl.
No matter how close we were, there were lines siblings were supposed to keep.
"Which onahole feels the best?"
"…We usually recommend based on size."
Even as Haneul asked so bluntly, without a shred of hesitation, the employee responded smoothly.
Watching from behind, I let out a deep sigh.
Shopping wrapped up in no time.
Not satisfied with just the first floor, Haneul's bag filled with this and that.
Gel. Onahole. Condoms…
Huh?
"What's this. Why'd you buy it."
"Just bought it 'cause I was curious."
"…What is it."
"There's three of them anyway, so I figured I'd try just once. See how it feels."
"Uh, okay."
It was awkward, but if he'd bought it with his own money out of curiosity, what more could I say.
At a loss for words, I just nodded and straightened up.
Something about this felt off.
The moment we got home, Haneul pulled out the onahole.
He tore open the packaging and ran his fingers inside.
"Oh, it feels weird. Touch it."
Curious myself, I hesitantly extended a finger.
It was definitely a peculiar sensation. Like they'd tried to recreate the interior somehow out of silicone.
"Isn't the pussy design a bit too realistic?"
"…Your words are even more graphic."
"Ah, is that so? But it definitely can't compare to the real thing."
"Comparing it to what?"
"What do you think."
What else would it be. We'd done it that day, so of course he was comparing it to that.
Ugh. Just when I was about to forget, it came flooding back.
Haneul gathered up the gel and condoms and headed for the bathroom.
"Don't tell me you're going to jerk off already?"
This bastard. Until just recently he'd been screaming at me not to do anything with his body — and now he was going off to jerk off without even asking my permission?
"Yeah, why? Wanna watch?"
"No, why would I watch you jerk off. But why do you keep doing stuff like this without my permission… It wasn't even urgent right now. Why should I have to sit through you just trying something out because you feel like it?"
"You gonna manage my ejaculations too?"
"…That's not what I meant."
Those words left me reeling and completely speechless.
I clutched my throbbing head and let out a small groan.
They say a late-blooming thief doesn't know when dawn breaks. What the hell was this kid becoming.
Seeing him take interest in animal ears and tails, it seemed like he was turning into a maniac overnight, and I was terrified of how far his tastes would go.
How weird would he be once we switched back to our original bodies.
"…Do whatever you want."
"And here I thought you were worried about missing a chance to make money."
"Money? What money…"
Ah.
"You crazy bitch."
Haneul didn't even acknowledge it and went inside.
Whether he'd applied the gel or not, even with the door closed I could hear wet, squelching sounds.
I'd heard that male bodies had higher sex drives, but watching him thrash around like a fish that had finally found water was a first — and it made me sick.
If my body got used to that kind of jerking off, wouldn't I be unable to satisfy myself with just a hand once we switched back?
Watching someone else freely use my body however they wanted filled me with endless worry.
I let out a small sigh, not knowing what to do.