While We're at It

Was it because of her victory in her debut match? When I met Lee Seul-bi after the game, she was incredibly excited.

Actually... she was a bit too excited.

Seul-bi was always high-energy, but today she was on another level.

The moment we met, she lunged at me with a fierce hug.

"Thank you so, so much for coming!"

"Mmph? Mmph!"

An unfamiliar warmth enveloped my entire body.

Her arms wrapped tightly around me, squeezing hard.

I flailed my limbs at the sudden confinement, but Seul-bi refused to let go.

Instead, she buried her face, which was brimming with joy, right into my chest.

Her breath left a lingering warmth in the valley of my chest.

Naturally, my reaction was...

This is embarrassing. This is incredibly embarrassing!

I understood how she felt.

Winning your debut match is thrilling enough, but it was also a highly important game.

If I were in Seul-bi's shoes, I would have felt like I was walking on clouds, too.

But I wasn't in a dream; I was in reality.

Which meant I couldn't ignore the eyes of the people around us.

Passersby were staring.

Most of them pretended to look away politely, but quite a few were stealing glances out of the corners of their eyes.

No matter how dense I was, those sidelong glances were impossible to miss.

Actually, maybe calling myself dense was no longer accurate.

Perhaps it was because so many people constantly stared at my chest.

Once you become the target of those stares, you surprisingly notice every single one of them.

Fortunately, Seul-bi seemed to notice my discomfort.

She pulled her head back and quickly scanned our surroundings.

Then, she grabbed my hand and led me toward the players' waiting room.

Once the crowd thinned out, my racing heart finally began to calm down.

"Sorry. I got a little too excited. Anyway, was it hard getting here? I saw you coming earlier and waved. Did you see me?"

"Y-Yeah... I saw you."

"Yay! Just wait here for a bit. I'll go change real quick and be right back!"

It seemed she didn't plan on just saying a quick hello.

I figured she would have a team dinner or something after a match like this.

But it looked like Seul-bi intended to spend the rest of the day with me.

Going out somewhere with a hyperactive extrovert...

Just the thought of it drained my energy, but I couldn't bring myself to refuse, so I simply nodded.

As I waited after Seul-bi left, an unfamiliar shadow fell over me.

Looking up, I saw a tall man staring down at me.

"Excuse me, are you DoNotTalkToMe?"

"Ah. Uh... yes? Y-Yes, I am."

"I had no idea you'd look exactly like your in-game avatar. Your features are identical, but your vibe is so different that I wasn't sure at first."

I nodded.

I heard that a lot.

I had assumed everyone based their avatars on their real-life faces.

Apparently, I was the weird one, and people always felt the need to comment on it.

But hearing it often didn't change the current situation.

I still had no idea who this man was.

A complete stranger.

And a... man who was much larger than me.

I didn't usually think about it.

But this felt far more intimidating than I would have expected.

After all, if he decided to get violent, I had no way to defend myself.

Fortunately, my anxiety was unfounded.

Seeing me shrink back, the man looked startled and took a step back.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I am..."

I never had a proper school life.

Back when my name was Yu Garam, it was because I had been hospitalized since childhood.

I never had the chance to meet people properly, let alone make memories with friends.

That was why one of my wishes had been to have a friend.

The kind of relationship where you go on trips with your best friends, or talk about everything without any reservations.

I had a fantasy about that kind of tight-knit bond.

Because I didn't know what friendship was, I wanted it all the more.

On the other hand, Yu Nabi couldn't attend school properly for a different reason.

Her innate shyness, her lack of conversational skills, and an appearance that inevitably drew everyone's attention.

People usually think children are pure, but purity doesn't guarantee goodness.

Children are immature.

They don't truly understand why bad deeds are bad, or why they shouldn't hurt others.

So they torment others for the most childish reasons.

Purity was a modifier that could easily be attached to malice as well.

Yu Nabi... secretly feared the word "friend."

To be precise, she was terrified of a relationship where only she considered the other person a friend.

She didn't know friendship, but she knew pain all too well, which bred an instinctive aversion.

In the end, to me, "friend" was a word where two conflicting memories collided head-on.

A word that held both excitement and trauma.

I lived in an awkward limbo—longing for a friend, yet unable to bring myself to call anyone one.

"Smile a bit more. Wider."

"Like... this?"

"No. More. More. More."

But if we were at this point... wouldn't it be okay to say we've become friends?

I had been thinking lately that Lee Seul-bi and I had grown closer.

The girl who used to give me advice without expecting anything in return.

That same Seul-bi was now smiling and spending time with me.

Then shouldn't I enjoy this moment too?

Yielding to her persistent nagging, we had ended up inside a photo booth chain.

We took photos together inside the booth, but Seul-bi didn't seem pleased with my stiff expression.

Her pale fingers pinched my cheeks and stretched them wide.

"All the way like this! Smile wide!"

"L-Like thith?"

"Yeah. That's much better. So pretty, so pretty."

Seul-bi called me pretty, but there was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠no way a smile forced by someone else's fingers could look natural.

My face in the camera looked incredibly ridiculous.

Normally, my face would have turned bright red, but I didn't feel particularly embarrassed.

That was because Lee Seul-bi had struck all kinds of bizarre poses herself while manipulating my face.

Maybe all geniuses were eccentric. She certainly had her quirky side.

Anyway, we ended up taking photos that were funny rather than pretty.

The kind of funny photos that would make us laugh all over again when we looked back on them someday.

I was terrible with words and didn't know how to have fun, but I could manage a simple laugh.

Well, we did manage to get a few decent shots in the end.

No matter what, Lee Seul-bi was still at an ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠age where she couldn't escape the label of a "teenage girl."

She might be far ahead of me as a pro gamer, but she was still at that age where she wanted to look her best.

She even demanded all sorts of cute poses from me as we took selfies together.

To be honest, I didn't really get why taking photos was so fun.

But since Seul-bi seemed so happy, I went along with it without a word of complaint.

Though, to be honest, I don't think I did the cute poses very well.

It was hard. And kind of embarrassing.

"Look at this. The photo came out so well. I'll send it to you."

"Huh? Oh... thanks."

"You said you don't really do social media, right?"

I nodded instead of answering.

I had just popped some snacks into my mouth, so there was no need for a long reply.

Well, even if I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have given a proper answer anyway.

My mental energy had already been completely drained by the photo ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠session.

No matter how hard I tried, I could never match the energy of a natural extrovert like Lee Seul-bi.

Even though I had built up some stamina through working out recently, that fact remained unchanged.

"Make an account later. You don't have to post much."

"Really?"

"It's good to have at least one channel where people can contact you directly. And you might find it fun once you start. More than anything..."

Squeeze.

Lee Seul-bi grabbed both of my cheeks.

My vision wobbled as she squished and rubbed my cheeks.

"Isn't it such a waste to let a face like this go to waste?"

"I... don't really know."

"Look at you, look at you. You're not wearing a speck of makeup. I knew it."

Well... in my mind, I was still a guy.

And makeup was something girls did.

It felt a bit weird.

"You even put your game avatar together so half-heartedly."

"No one... has said it looks weird yet."

"That's only because your face is basically a cheat code. But you definitely just threw on whatever clothes, didn't you?"

"..."

It wasn't half-hearted.

I had picked out things that looked decent in my own way.

I had actually put a lot of effort into choosing them.

"This won't do. Now that I think about it, I need to do something about this."

"...?"