Serizawa's Eternal Torment
"...Serizawa. Serizawa!"
The man who had been thrashing about suddenly snapped his eyes open.
"Hah... hah! Hah!"
He gasped out the breath that had been stuck in his throat.
"What kind of nonsense were you mumbling in your sleep?"
"Seriously, you're the only one who would pass out at a friend's wedding celebration."
Serizawa pushed himself up. Sweat poured off him like a flood.
"A dream...?"
He groped at his face. His eyes, nose, and mouth were all still there in place.
His friends eyed Serizawa's bizarre behavior with puzzled looks.
"Come on, give us some blessings already."
"Yeah. What kind of manners is it to just drink silently and then fall asleep?"
Reproachful glares poured down on Serizawa.
He ignored them, snatched up a bottle of sake, and downed it in one go.
"Ugh."
The sweet haze of alcohol rose up. Only now did his mind and body finally calm.
"What blessings? Screw that."
He'd had a thoroughly unpleasant dream. And waking up, reality felt just as foul.
"Marriage? What's the big deal? It's just buying a whore to keep around forever."
He grabbed a hunk of snack with his massive hand and shoved it in his mouth.
"I heard you nearly died fighting off bandits who attacked your fiancée? Why the hell would you do something so stupid?"
Silence fell over the drinking party. Everyone stared holes through Serizawa.
"A face and tits that are just average—what's so precious about that? I can't understand it."
He chugged more sake.
Nothing was more nauseating than people fretting over worthless, trivial things.
In a fit of rage, Serizawa hurled the bottle. Shards of glass exploded everywhere.
"Serizawa."
One of the friends who'd been staring opened his mouth.
"Then what do you hold dear?"
Serizawa froze.
"You always mock and belittle the values others cherish. So what the hell do you cherish?"
Serizawa was speechless. He'd never been asked a question like this in his life.
...Wait a minute.
Serizawa sensed something off.
"You're impulsive about everything, never thinking ahead. You even laugh at people who act cautiously and carefully."
The friend bored into him with his gaze. Not just the friend—all the people in the tavern had stopped, staring at Serizawa.
"People are cautious because they have something precious to protect."
They pondered every action because they had things worth protecting. They didn't act recklessly because those things mattered.
"So the reason you're so impulsive... isn't it because you don't have any of that?"
Serizawa realized the source of his unease. He'd never been asked questions like this. By anyone.
"You... no, you all..."
Serizawa backed away unsteadily.
Bloody tears streamed from his friend's eyes.
"Because you never had anything precious, you mock others' treasures. And that's why you destroy them, isn't it?"
Serizawa grabbed a sake cup in horror. He tried to hurl it at his friend's face, but somehow, an eyeball floated in the cup.
"...Huh?"
His reflection stared back from the rippling sake surface. But the face had no eyes.
"Ah. Aaaaaah!"
Serizawa's limbs withered and twisted. Rotten teeth rained from his mouth.
"Unfortunately, it seems you've never pondered such things in your entire life."
What he cherished. What he wanted to protect.
"That's fine. Now you have plenty of time."
Hundreds of black, empty sockets weeping blood bored into Serizawa.
"Ponder it deeply for eons."
"...Yeah, that's how it went."
Nagakura scratched his head with his pipe.
"That bastard's head was already lopped off and buried, but his soul's still trapped in the corpse."
He clicked his tongue and tapped out the ash.
"The price for rejecting a natural death and clawing his way back. Now he can't die until the world's end—just eternal suffering."
"Ah, so that's why you're wearing white mourning clothes to appease poor Mr. Serizawa?"
"It's not appeasement—seeing that stuff brings bad luck! I still sprinkle salt all over my body before bed every night!"
Nagakura recoiled in disgust. He wasn't even properly dead, so no appeasement was possible. What the hell had she even heard?
Blah blah blah, grumbling like a sulky child—uncharacteristic for him. Izuki ignored Nagakura's pout and Okita laughed, "Ahaha."
"Anyway, it's all in the past. Shall we drop the creepy talk?"
"You asked me to tell it, Okita."
"How is it, Ishihara-kun? The sweets are pretty good, right? Try these too."
"Ah, yes. They're delicious. Thank you."
"And how about our hero who saved Kyoto? I specially ordered the finest from Kyoto's most famous confectionery."
"...?! Uh, y-yeah?"
Si-ho, who had been stuffing her face with colorful sweets, startled violently. With her cheeks bulging full, she darted behind Izuki.
"Won't that choke you? Here, have some tea and eat slowly."
Si-ho cautiously took the cup Izuki offered, peeking warily at the Shinsengumi while sipping.
"Oh, right. So now you can come this close without issue."
Just days ago, she'd turn pale and flee if anyone got within five steps. Now she was plastered right behind Izuki's back.
"...???"
Si-ho jumped again and scurried to the room's corner. She scanned the room with guarded eyes, then carefully crammed her hoarded sweets into her mouth.
"Hmm~ Your master has quite the personality."
"Shouldn't we take her to a doctor?"
"The world's full of all kinds, Saito."
The Shinsengumi watched the white-haired girl with amused interest.
"Still can't believe it, though. Intercepting cannon fire with iaijutsu..."
Even the ever-playful Okita's voice dropped low, chills running through him at the memory.
"What school is your master's from? Never heard of one that trains iaijutsu with that kind of power."
"Why not ask her yourself, Saito? Why keep using the disciple as a messenger?"
"Hm. You're right. Better to ask directly. If you'll excuse me..."
"Hey, kidding! Kidding! Ugh, you humorless bastard."
The sharp-featured man with deep-set eyes—Saito Hajime—approached Si-ho with a serious expression. The other Shinsengumi hurriedly held him back.
"Nagakura-san, there are better ways to joke. We all just felt our lives threatened."
Everyone gulped dryly at Si-ho trembling, hand on her sword hilt.
"Sorry. I've committed a grave sin."
"Saito-san, apologize to everyone too."
"...? Apologize for what?"
"Just go hunker down in that opposite corner. Don't hover near the hero and provoke her."
Nagakura rubbed his forehead, craving a smoke.
As the Shinsengumi bickered among themselves, the sliding door opened and Hijikata Toshizo entered.
"You've arrived, Vice-Chief."
Okita bowed slightly, and the other members followed suit.
Hijikata nodded curtly and took the head seat.
"Todo and Harada?"
"Yes, still recovering. They fought the hardest at the vanguard... must've overdone it."
Hijikata surveyed the room.
"So, all captain-level except those two are here."
Everyone leaned in as he spoke.
"First, on behalf of the current Keeper of Kyoto, as the Shinsengumi's representative, I, Vice-Chief Hijikata Toshizo, offer you my deepest gratitude."
Hijikata bowed deeply to Si-ho and Izuki; the others followed.
"Without you, the operation would've failed—with massive casualties."
The berserk Serizawa. Indiscriminate bombardment on Kyoto's streets. The memory still sent chills down their spines.
"Rewards for your merits will come via Dojima Kihee, the public affairs officer under the Keeper of Kyoto. Given the scale, the compensation won't disappoint."
The public affairs officer was essentially Kyoto's resident diplomat. The Keeper—a top shogunate post—often left for Edo to advise the shogun, so the officer handled duties in Kyoto. Thus, the Shinsengumi took orders from this mid-level manager. If the Keeper was the capital defense commander, the officer was like a brigade or special forces commander.
"I submitted the report yesterday, so approval should come within two months."
Times being what they were, the officer was busy—might take longer, Hijikata added.
"Ooh, then everyone—now that you've got a connection to the public affairs officer, why not apply to join the Shinsengumi?"
Okita clapped, eyes sparkling.
"With your skills, it's totally doable."
Excited "oohs" rippled through the room at his suggestion.
"Ho, that'd be reassuring for us."
"Kuhaha! Todo finally escapes being the baby? Gotta tell him to train the newbies right."
"But joining the Shinsengumi isn't easy. All us captains are at least Menkyo Kaiden level."
Even Hijikata looked intrigued.
"...If you do join, no worries about pay or stipends. The Keeper provides basics to all members. And more than that..."
Then—rowdy footsteps from outside.
"...? No word of visitors."
Hijikata frowned.
The door burst open. A panting Shinsengumi rushed in.
"Vice-Chief! The public affairs officer is coming—now."
The Shinsengumi blinked at each other, then scrambled up, straightening their clothes.
"Why's the busy guy coming here again?"
"He said he'd leave personal time alone. Damn it."
As they grumbled and tidied, the public affairs officer dashed in.
"...?"
Cognitive dissonance hit the Shinsengumi.
Already?
And the usually aloof high-up was sweating bullets, fidgeting anxiously. Was this really him?
"Hijikata Vice-Chief. The Keeper of Kyoto is coming."
The officer gasped for breath.
"...???"
Pure emergency. Shinsengumi moved to grab their pressed uniforms—but the Keeper burst in first.
"..."
Matsudaira Katamori quickly scanned the silent room. His eyes locked on the pure-white-haired girl huddled in the corner, munching sweets.
"...Found you."
He muttered in a trembling voice, as if he couldn't believe his eyes.