Yu Suhyeon (2)
"Without a receipt, exchanges and refunds get difficult. Is that all right with you?"
"That's fine."
"Thank you! Please come again!"
It was a weekend, and the year-end atmosphere had people buzzing with excitement. For the first time in a while, I'd come to a department store to buy clothes. I hadn't gotten to enjoy myself properly last time, so I figured I'd look around the place and pick up something to wear.
I was going to meet Yu Suhyeon. Showing up in a school uniform like last time was out of the question, and nothing I already owned was particularly worth putting on.
I'd looked it up online. If you weren't confident about clothes, the advice was to just buy whatever the mannequin was wearing. That way, you'd at least hit for average.
It wasn't as if I was walking a runway, and I doubted the women in my life had particularly high expectations for my fashion sense. Clothes at this level would do. I wandered through the stores you'd never see out on the street — the ones that only existed inside a department store like this.
They say if you come here, you have to try the donuts.
I hadn't produced any real results yet, but I was nourishing myself on the belief that I would succeed as a baseball player, on my promise with a beautiful woman, and on my expectations for the future. Today, I was going to enjoy myself.
"Just try one."
"I can't. I have to watch my diet."
A man and a woman who looked about my age. A couple, obviously. I couldn't help feeling a twinge of envy, watching them enjoy the end of the year together.
"Huh? Lee Junseong?"
"Bae Junmin?"
It had been long enough that I didn't recognize him right away, but Bae Junmin was the one who'd called out to me.
Bae Junmin. Originally, we'd both come up through the Seongsan High baseball team, but we'd fallen out of sync when I repeated a year. These days he was stuck in the 2nd team for reasons I still couldn't figure out, but he'd chewed through high school baseball as a pure hitter and gone in the first round of the draft. On top of that, we were both Seoul Dragons now. If you wanted to split hairs, he was my senior.
"I heard the news. You joined our team, and you were at the wrap-up camp too, right?"
"Yeah. Guess we ended up meeting like this after all."
"I'll probably start next year in Icheon again. But I'll be up soon. Let's see each other in the 1st team next year."
"Thanks. With your talent, you'll be up there in no time."
We'd never been what you'd call close, but looking at him objectively, the guy had a pretty good personality. I still couldn't understand why he hadn't set foot on a 1st-team field. The Dragons had a reputation as a graveyard for prospects, but they weren't so boneheaded that they couldn't even give Bae Junmin a handful of at-bats.
"Let's go already."
"Huh? Yeah. Junseong, see you later."
"...Take care."
The girlfriend standing next to Bae Junmin cut our conversation short, and the two of them receded from my sight.
I knew that girl, too. If anything, my history with her ran longer than Bae Junmin's.
Park Sojin. Like Bae Junmin and me, she was a Seongsan High graduate. Unlike him, though, she'd gone to the same middle school I had.
I was fine. The reason Park Sojin still went out of her way to avoid me was something else entirely.
Back in middle school, Park Sojin had been a vicious bully. Among the girls, getting targeted by her had been as good as a death sentence for your school life — that's how notorious she was. Even I knew about it, and I'd been on the baseball team.
How thoroughly she'd terrorized people, and how cleanly she'd laundered her image in high school, I couldn't say. Almost nobody at Seongsan High knew the truth. Granted, only a handful of students from that middle school had gone on to Seongsan in the first place.
As far as I knew, I was the only middle-school classmate of Park Sojin's who was also acquainted with Bae Junmin.
And yet. That vicious little witch from middle school had spent high school playing the part of the purest, most wholesome girl imaginable. She'd hung around the baseball team at every opportunity, and Bae Junmin had gotten chewed out by his seniors more than once because of it. I still remembered how her skirt, once so short her panties were practically on display, had somehow lengthened overnight into something a model student would wear.
In the end, she'd gotten what she wanted. She was Bae Junmin's girlfriend. Looking at the two of them, you had to admit — it was always the cunning ones who came out ahead in this world.
Of course, I was hardly one to talk, standing here wondering how I was going to sleep with Yu Suhyeon.
I left behind the people who had been part of my past, and who might yet become part of my future, and started walking again.
Today was the day I was supposed to meet Yu Suhyeon.
She worked most weekends and took weekdays off, she'd told me. Today was Monday, and now that December had arrived, the weather had turned colder still.
I did my best to settle the tightness in my chest and headed for the meeting spot. Year-end or not, it was a weekday afternoon, so there weren't that many people around. The streets felt pleasantly uncrowded.
Twelve-fifty. I'd arrived ten minutes early. Same as with baseball — if you prepared ahead of time, your mind stayed easy.
Looking back on it, I never would have guessed I'd be seeing Yu Suhyeon like this, as a normal person. I hadn't lived all that long, but starting off on such a bad foot with someone I'd just met — that was a first.
And in the end, that bad start had played a part in making today's meeting happen. Funny how that worked. Was this providence too?
Ever since I'd met the Baseball Immortal, I found myself thinking about providence more often than usual. Not that I obsessed over it. I had a task I'd been given, but beyond that, I decided my own fate.
"You're early."
I turned around, and there was Yu Suhyeon. I hadn't checked my phone, but she was probably a little past the hour.
Something about her looked different from last time. Her makeup seemed heavier, and her clothes gave off a more grown-up impression than before. Was this the style she actually liked? I didn't mind it.
"Have you been waiting long?"
"No. I haven't been here long either."
"You must be hungry. Let's go."
It wasn't just the clothes. Even the way she talked felt different from last time. She seemed like a different person every time we met. Then again, both of our previous encounters had been under unusual circumstances. Maybe today was the real her.
We went to a Japanese restaurant that looked like it had a pretty nice atmosphere even during the day. It seemed better suited to dinner, but I'd checked beforehand — on weekends, there was a wait even at lunch.
Yu Suhyeon asked for my preference, just briefly, then placed the order. For a moment, I had the sense that she was trying to take the lead today. And yet something about it... maybe it was just me, but the whole performance looked a little awkward.
"The vibe feels a little different from last time."
"Mine?"
"Yes."
"Hmm... does it? I wouldn't know. I did change my clothes, though."
Yu Suhyeon offered an awkward smile.
"I meant it looks good on you."
"Oh, come on. Really?"
When a woman changes her style, don't ask questions. Just compliment her. That's the answer.
"It looks good on you too."
"Does it? That's a relief. I was worried."
"Worried?"
"Yes. After we made plans to meet today, I went out and bought clothes in a hurry..."
I said it with the most good-natured, simple smile I could manage.
"Ah..."
Yu Suhyeon laughed, a little embarrassed. I wondered what she'd thought, hearing that.
I still didn't know what her real reason was for agreeing to see me so easily. Was she still hung up on what had happened at the hospital? Or was this a thank-you for the help I'd given her the other day?
Setting all that aside — if Yu Suhyeon actually intended to keep seeing me as more than a friend, what about me would she be worried about? No matter how you looked at her, she was not the cool, easygoing type.
"You don't get out much, do you?"
"No. I never had the luxury of enjoying being twenty and playing good baseball at the same time."
When the future had felt so uncertain, doing anything that wasn't related to baseball had been unacceptable. Thinking about it now, some of that had been an inferiority complex. It wasn't as if I'd poured every spare hour into training.
"So that's why you were in your school uniform last time."
"Yes. Haha. It's a little embarrassing."
Well, that wasn't the whole truth, exactly...
If I were twenty-six, and a twenty-year-old came onto me — what would I think? Sure, I'd wonder if I'd won the lottery. But if, by some chance, I were the type to consider a serious relationship? I never would have believed the other person was approaching me in earnest. I'd have written it off as a passing impulse.
And then you had to factor in the difference between men and women. Unless a woman had no sense at all, or was far too young, most of them would never tolerate a man treating them lightly.
If this came off as the infatuated antics of a twenty-year-old, there was nothing I could do about that. What I could do was at least make it clear that I didn't take Yu Suhyeon lightly.
It wasn't as if I had the ability to sweet-talk a woman six years older than me with words alone anyway. If I tried to account for everything, I wouldn't be able to do anything at all.
"Noona. About what happened at the hospital last time."
"Hm?"
I brought up the past.
"...Have you been dwelling on that?"
Yu Suhyeon's expression darkened a little. It wasn't a why are you being so petty about this look. The meeting had already happened; I had no intention of using that incident as leverage to sulk at this point.
"No, that's not what I meant. I was thinking about something your colleague said..."
"What?"
"She mentioned there was someone who'd been harassing you for a while. Did that all get resolved?"
"Ah..."
She looked surprised that I'd brought it up.
"He was discharged, and there hasn't been much trouble since."
"...I see."
"Why do you ask?"
"It's nothing. I think I said something I shouldn't have."
"..."
"The truth is, I'm human too. When you spoke to me the way you did back then, it stung a little."
"...I get it. I must have been out of my mind that day."
There was sympathy in her eyes. It was almost enough to make me wonder if this was the same person who'd looked at me with such contempt.
It wasn't that the Yu Suhyeon of then had been a devil and the Yu Suhyeon of now was an angel. Back then, she'd been certain I was sexually harassing her, so she'd treated me however she wanted. Now I was a man who clearly had feelings for her, so she was being careful. I had no interest in passing judgment on her character at this point, whatever I might have thought at the time.
Genuinely, conspicuously good people and genuinely, conspicuously bad people are a minority. The vast majority of humans simply act according to their circumstances and their own position.
"It's all right. After I heard what your colleague said, it cleared up right away. What actually bothered me was that the thing you'd mistaken me for — that had actually happened to you."
"...So you're saying you were worried?"
"I think so."
The words were coming out of my mouth, and I was cringing so hard I could have died. Did I really have to go this far...
"What... we only saw each other for a moment back then. Junseong, have you always had such a strong sense of justice?"
Yu Suhyeon said it with a laugh. Anyone listening would have found the whole thing absurd. Getting worried about someone you'd just met... From now on, those were words I never wanted to say again, even if it killed me.
"I know. It's stupid. I'm usually the type who doesn't pay much attention to other people..."
The look on Yu Suhyeon's face as she watched me didn't seem all that bad.
But time kept moving. I felt like something more was needed — something — and it left me faintly frustrated.
"That was delicious."
"Yeah!"
"I'm going to stop by the restroom."
"Okay. I'll wait outside."
While Lee Junseong ducked into the restroom, Yu Suhyeon stepped outside.
He's a lot cuter and more innocent than I expected.
Yu Suhyeon had come into this half-skeptical, but the meeting with Lee Junseong hadn't been a bad one. And she'd gotten the sense that his feelings for her ran far deeper than she'd thought.
God... what on earth did I do to a kid like that.
The misunderstanding had been an especially mortifying one, so she'd been worried he might bring it up. But Junseong hadn't made a single suggestive joke. Yu Suhyeon wondered if that, too, was a kindness on his part.
It's not that I dislike Junseong. But there's still the age gap... if I turn him down too late, he'll get hurt.
She thought well enough of him, but what Yu Suhyeon felt for Lee Junseong couldn't be called love. Not yet.
But like Hyojin said, maybe I shouldn't overthink everything... what do I do? Honestly, I like meeting like this. But isn't that too selfish?
Yu Suhyeon had enjoyed the twenty-year-old's devoted courtship, but her heart was still a tangle.
"Excuse me..."
"Yes?"
A man had come up to speak to her.
"I just had to say something. You're exactly my type."
It was a line Yu Suhyeon had heard more times than she could count.
"...I'm sorry."
She turned him down immediately, but the man had been reasonably polite about it, and she wasn't in a bad mood, so she wasn't particularly cold.
"Ah, well..."
"What are you doing?"
"Ah—!"
Lee Junseong took Yu Suhyeon by the shoulder and pulled her into his arms.
"I didn't realize you had a boyfriend. I'm sorry."
The man who'd approached Yu Suhyeon backed off at once.
I don't know who you are, but thank you...
An opportunity had appeared to break the deadlock.
The bastard. Showing up at just the right moment, not making a scene, and backing off immediately — how considerate. Not that that wasn't the normal thing to do.
"Noona really is popular."
"..."
I looked at Yu Suhyeon's face. She wore a faintly bewildered expression.
I hadn't had a chance to touch her, and now one had fallen into my lap all on its own.
"Shall we go? I'll walk you to the stop."
"Okay..."
Yu Suhyeon and I headed for the bus stop.
"Hey, Junseong. Maybe let go of this."
"..."
I took my hand off her shoulder. Her reaction was genuinely adorable.
"And you're dropping the polite speech all of a sudden?"
"You don't like it?"
"It's not that I don't like it..."
"The way I see it, there's no difference between you and the girls at my school. Not that anyone as pretty as you would ever be at our school, of course."
"...You're such an idiot."
Among baseball players, there were plenty of guys who suffered because their natural temperament didn't match what they were trying to be. Hitters who wanted to play patient, eyes-on-the-ball baseball when they had no patience and no plate discipline. Pitchers who wanted to attack the zone aggressively when they didn't have the stuff. That type.
Yu Suhyeon was a little kid who wanted to look tough. You could see it, as long as you didn't get fooled by the slightly prickly atmosphere and the haughty looks.
We arrived at the stop, and Yu Suhyeon's bus pulled up first.
"Noona. I'll call you."
"Okay!"
I was certain the next meeting would happen.
I didn't have much time. Next time, we'd have to meet in the evening. Without the help of alcohol, I didn't think we could go any further.